Category: confidence

Who is the most important person in your life?

Many clients who come to see me for help with confidence have often forgotten about the most important person in their lives. For instance, carers, parents, and people working in the caring professions are so often doing so much amazing work supporting everyone around them that it’s easy to forget about themselves. When they come to see me they may be looking for more confidence, to experience less stress, and to be able to deal with whatever other issues they have in their lives.

Often our default thinking is that we must unrelentingly give all our energy to everyone else leaving us feeling empty and passed by. However, for so many years we have been mainly focusing so much on other people that we have forgotten to think about the most important person in the equation – ourselves.

To think that you are the most important person often contradicts the messages we give ourselves and the messages we have picked up over the years in our daily lives.

But the message is that you are the most important person in your world. Now this has nothing to do with arrogance or trying to be one up and cleverer than anyone else. It’s all about every one of us being the best person we can be.

We are all unique but holding ourselves back from being our best self does us no favours. This is not about becoming the CEO of a multi-billion corporation it’s about about loving and accepting our own skills and our own unique knowledge and wisdom.

So in your mind just “Step Into” the Real, Authentic, Best, and Brilliant You, and just for a moment feel how good that feels. How much you really deserve to be that person. Feel how that really engages you with positive connection and healthy pleasure and energy for yourself and everyone around you.

The more you enjoy it the more everyone around you will enjoy it.

This is your secret to take with you

They won’t consciously know what it is but they will feel good as well

To discover more of the techniques and strategies I offer my clients online and in my office to help empower themselves on a daily basis please call or email and I will be very happy to help.

Want to be happy? You need to know about these brain chemicals

The 4 brain chemicals that will help you feel happy.

To have a “feel good experience” we need to trigger our “feel good” brain chemicals. Being able to recognise them when triggered within our body helps us develop and strengthen them, encouraging the good feelings we would like to experience in our lives.

The four main happy brain chemicals are Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. These are all working in connection with each other but one or two will be taking the lead depending on what we are experiencing at the time.

Dopamine helps us move forward in life and “climb to the top of the tree”. It is the brain chemical that helps push us forward to reach the best fruit at the top of the tree. Otherwise, we could be left sitting at the bottom of the tree looking for leftovers.

The actual climb to the top is what triggers dopamine helping push us onward and upwards toward our goals. When you experience a feeling of pride and satisfaction whether it is winning an Olympic medal or finishing constructing a piece of flat-pack furniture you will be enjoying the pleasant and satisfying hit of dopamine you have just built up.

However, it is very important we actually “earn” our dopamine. Addictions and bad habits such as gambling and drugs can also trigger dopamine, dopamine that we haven’t actually “earned”. This in time leads to stress and disappointment triggering our unhappy chemicals such as Cortisol.

Oytocin is called the “love” or “cuddle chemical”. This helps trigger the safe and relaxed pathways in your body and mind and is connected with the vagus nerve. As you generate more oxytocin in your physical body this will help you feel calmer and more comfortable with yourself, others, and your life.

For more information please email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call +44 (0)7970218451

Are you filled with self-doubt about your own abilities?

Do you sometimes feel like a fraud? Do you “talk yourself down?

Then you may be suffering from Imposter Syndrome.

Google apparently has 5 million articles on this very subject but for me, the most important question when dealing with emotional and mental issues is how can we help resolve them whilst putting in place the feelings, achievements, and experiences we really want to enjoy

We might think that imposter syndrome just applies to people employed in high-flying business positions and not to your everyday person in their everyday lives.

However many of us have ongoing doubts and worries about our own skills in life or how we “present” ourselves in everyday communication. This negative thinking will continue to nibble away at our own confidence and we can often find ourselves withdrawing more and more from offers of a step up in our workplace. And this can have a “knock-on” effect even in our everyday communication with friends and acquaintances. It feels safer to do this than confront the self imposed limitations we put on ourselves.

The first thing I write on virtually every client’s notes is 3 words. Am I safe?

This is a classic case of feeling unable to acknowledge and feel confident (safe) with one’s own unique abilities, skills, and creativity.

However, with the right tools, we really can unlock the power of our confidence and creative mind. Using simple empowering steps you could change your life overnight and bring a sense of confidence, value, and self-worth into your everyday life.

To do this we must first let go of any past material that is still standing in our way. And this doesn’t mean digging deep into our past traumas and experiences. Many therapies include a lot of talking and delving into the past but our unconscious mind knows far more about us than we could ever know consciously.

So why not let your unconscious do the work and help body and mind literally ”feel safe”? This will then give you the opportunity to enjoy and love your own skills, wisdom, knowledge, and the life and self-belief you deserve to enjoy.

For more information please email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call +44 (0)7970218451

Anger is stress for ourselves and everyone around us

Let’s make this simple. Anger is an unconscious sense of insecurity that we have probably learned from experiences when we were young and from life’s disappointments.

There are 3 words I write on virtually all my client’s notes at the start of the first session. “Am I Safe?”

In my experience, these three words cover virtually every difficult situation we have experienced in our lives whether it be anger, lack of confidence, addictions, performance stress, trauma, etc.

To protect us in uncomfortable situations our primal brain triggers fear sending body and mind into a fight-flight or freeze response. At that moment in time, our primal brain has just one job to do and that is to keep us alive. These automatic responses may be triggered by childhood events, disappointments growing up, lack of self-confidence, and any number of large and small traumas that we may have experienced throughout our lives.

However to give ourselves, and all those around us who will be affected by our behavior, some peace of mind, we must learn how to better control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. Trying to make everyone else dance to our tune will not cut it. This is all about working on ourselves.

Unconsciously we are all looking for control.

In the past, we may have felt insecure and desperately needed to control events in our lives. By hoping to control other people we also hoped we would feel safe. This gives us a hit of the brain chemical dopamine but that pleasure does not last long and only leaves us locked in a circuit of mental and physical stress affecting our own life and the lives of others around us.

Every week I am helping clients work positively on their our own nervous systems. This helps give them the opportunity to reclaim the experiences of safety and pleasure in their lives that we all need. Using simple and powerfully effective strategies and techniques you can do the same.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Are you spiralling into a continuous state of stress and anxiety?

And what can you do about it?

Our brains are still running on the primal circuits and neural pathways that belong to the jungle. But the jungle is not a very safe place. However we are still in a jungle but in a different jungle. A jungle that can feel just as scary as the actual jungle although in different ways. For instance we are constantly bombarded with worrying news, with deadlines, with all sorts of insecurities and doubts, some big and some small.

A lot of fears and worries in our present jungle come not from “life or death issues” that our fear response is primed to respond to, but from a series of ongoing doubts and worries that enter into our everyday lives unannounced.

This constant low level drip feeding begins to find it’s own channel to travel down which gets wider, broader and stronger the more we feed it. After time it can become almost like a raging torrent that takes over one’s life keeping us in a constant state of “looking out for danger”.

On virtually all my clients’ notes I start with three words. “Am I Safe?”

Whatever the issues we need to work on, they will virtually always stem from these three words.

But what we actually need is to get back to “I Am Safe”

This will mean reconnecting with our own feelings of safety in our everyday lives. The aim is to become able to control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. We can’t always control everything in our lives but it really is possible to learn to have a lot more control than you might imagine over your own nervous system.

Working with hypnotherapy, relaxation and EFT alongside simple and powerful strategies and techniques, I regularly and rapidly help clients lift themselves out of this spiral of stress, fear and worry. This way you can begin to direct and enjoy your own experiences and lives in a much more beneficial and satisfactory way.

Isn’t that where we all want to be?

For more information just email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call 07970 218451 and I will be happy to help

Trauma Release and how this method could help you

It’s tough going through life when past traumas still follow us around

Recently, one of my clients, on her second session said to me “It really was huge not having to revisit those old issues again”

The way to clear trauma and stress is often seen as deeply discussing every incident and issue whilst forensically picking one’s way through each experience from the past.

Now this can be one way of looking for the truth and finding answers but for me the question is, do we really need to continually revisit past traumas to achieve the mental freedom we are looking for? In therapy that method may work for some, but not for all.

To achieve what we are we are looking for we don’t necessarily have to relive the trauma and worries locked in the recesses of our unconscious mind. What’s more we would only be working on the tip of the iceberg.

Often I will work with clients who have told me nothing about their issue but who, after a few sessions will leave extremely happy with their outcome. If clients wish to talk about how they feel about their issues that is perfectly natural and an important part of the session but continually going over things can leave us reliving the old experiences on a never ending loop.

The secret is to show clients how they can use their unconscious to clear their past issues. Once they have connected with their creative unconscious mind that part will be able to continue the healing process whilst leaving the client free to enjoy their everyday lives.

So, in a nutshell our unconscious already knows all about our traumas, disappointments and worries from the past.

We could spend 5 years on the psychotherapist’s couch talking about our past traumas but we would only ever be able to scratch the tip of the iceberg.

Remember, there are traumas we know about, traumas we didn’t think were traumas and traumas we will never consciously know about. Getting born was traumatic but I don’t remember anything about it. Do you?

I help clients resolve these issues by using an empowering mix of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Eye Movement Sequencing that engages the creative unconscious mind. This way the work can be done on an unconscious level while helping my clients happily continue enjoying everyday lives.

And it’s nice to know that another part of us knows how to do this for us, isn’t it.

How to get rid of yips and performance nerves?

What do you need to know about the YIPS and PERFORMANCE NERVES plus how to get rid of them

FIGHT or FLIGHT or FREEZE is designed to keep us alive. It is a primitive part of our autonomic nervous system and this means that whenever there is a sense of danger or even just worry, this system will in fact respond as if we are in a LIFE or DEATH situation.

Immediately your brain’s only job is to keep you alive and all it’s resources will be focused on that one outcome. This means that your body’s healing mode is switched off and your “modern” thinking brain is no longer able to operate rationally. You have now lost access to your fine motor functions and clear cognitive thinking

Also, in “shutdown” your body and brain are preserving oxygen. So there is not enough dopamine to turn the “freeze” state off and your focus and clarity back on.

This is why it becomes virtually impossible to instantly switch back to your clear thinking relaxed state.

So, to help gain more control of our autonomic (automatic) nervous system the most important place to start is with BREATHING.

Using the best diaphragm breathing techniques will lay a foundation whereby you can, as rapidly as possible re-engage your dopamine and other body chemicals. Now you can help reconnect the higher communication centres which have the blueprint of all the tens of thousands of hours of practise you have put into your skills.

Te next step in my work with Golfers, Tennis players, Darts, Snooker players, Musicians etc. is opening and expanding our vision pathways and learning to control our autonomic nervous system on an everyday basis.

Using simple acupressure points and mental programmes we will be able to find and relax the physical and mental, body and mind stress points in a way you can begin to take with you into every competition, friendly game or performance you have.

An extra bonus is that no one will know you are using these techniques. But they will be very unlikely not to notice that everything about your performance is improving!

For more information on how I can help you play and perform to your highest standards just call or email and I will be happy to help.

These techniques and strategies will work equally effectively with

great results – online, face to face, professional or amateur.

www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk +44 7970218451 rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

How does the pandemic affect your mental health and everyday life?

After Covid

Although many countries are back to relative normality after Covid close to the surface there are still major issues the pandemic has left behind. This means that many people still continue to experience both physical and emotional difficulties from Covid.

There are 3 words that I write on the initial notes for virtually every client’s first session.

“AM I SAFE?”

From both a physical and mental viewpoint Covid has left us all feeling unsafe

If you are still experiencing these sort of issues and find that you have not found a way forward emotionally or mentally I offer a healing protocol using Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and Eye Movement Therapy plus working with the Vagus Nerve (which is of prime importance in the healing process). I have been using these techniques for many years now with excellent success and offer clients on a daily basis the tools and strategies that they can begin to use to help turn their lives round.

Hypnosis has many facets of healing body and mind and a major one is helping us learn to relax again. If we cannot relax then the body cannot heal since it is using all its energy to keep us safe. Hypnosis will encourage the healing response through deep relaxation

Emotional Freedom Technique is now a very popular healing technique that my clients always love to use. Here we literally gently tap on acupressure points helping the body and mind release inner tension both physically and mentally. This helps us stabilise our emotions and release blocked energy stored in the body.

Eye movement Therapy has been available for many years now but it is only relatively recently that research has been done showing how our eye movements hold so much valuable information past and present.

The Vagus Nerve is another area that only relatively recently has been shown to have a much more profound effect on our body and mind than was originally thought. Using the latest scientific information we can make amazingly powerful changes to our lives using the simplest of techniques that will naturally help engage more healing and healthy experiences for our everyday lives.

If you would like to learn more about this work and how it could help you please feel free to contact me and I will be very happy to help.

For more information about one to one sessions online in English anywhere in the world please feel free to contact me

www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk 07970218451 rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Anxiety Covid and anxiety EFT

Why chanting om is so powerful?

Why is “OM” so good for you and will it help release anxiety and worry? And does chanting OM create a supernatural experience and help you connect to your higher being or source?

And the answer is probably yes to both those questions.

Chanting “OM” helps improve sleep, releases stress and helps you feel calmer. It focuses your mind, it balances your emotions and helps generate a feeling of peace.

But for now, just in case you were thinking OM is some strange sound that people use when practising yoga let’s have a look at some of the scientific proof that helps explain why that simple sound can be so powerful.

The chant OM is often used at the beginning and end of a yoga session or meditation. One clue to it’s natural power is in the vibrations, vibrations that create a calmer and more relaxed body and mind. When we hum or sing we are creating vibrations in the body that help us engage our vagus nerve which connects with virtually all our organs. When the vagus nerve is operating healthily it helps our body and mind relax and heal.

Now, why not try singing OM and notice when you close your mouth at the “MMM” how clearly you can feel the vibrations. Not only will your singing generate these vibrations but that will also be generating nitric oxide which will be regulating the elasticity in your veins and smoothing the blood flow

Scientific studies have also shown that chanting OM also raises levels of concentration and focus.

There are in fact a lot more scientifically proven benefits physical and mental benefits to OM so why not hum a few OMs in your everyday life? Then you will start to notice how it is helping you relax a little more and how you can begin to feel less stressed.

It won’t take any time at all to do and the more regularly you do so the better the results.

For more information about Hypnotherapy, EFT and Eye movement therapy which I offer online and one to one please go to www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk

How does EFT tapping work?

Emotional Freedom Technique (“Tapping”) and the issues that connect each tapping point to the meridian lines in the body

Lets look at the tapping points for EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and some of the emotional issue each point is linked to.

Clients often ask me what issue each tapping point stands for and although it is not at all necessary to know it is interesting to have an idea of some of the emotional connections of each meridian point.

I originally trained in TFT (Thought Field Therapy devised by Dr Roger Callahan) which is the technique that EFT grew from (developed by Gary Craig). In TFT there are certain combinations of points one would tap on for each particular issue, whereas in EFT we tap around all the points in order whilst verbalising (out loud or to ourselves) how we are feeling about the issue we are working on.

This makes it easy to use at home since it is very simple to remember the sequence. So whether I am helping clients tap to release past issues, to feel confident at work or take a driving test the basic sequence is the same.

So starting with tapping on the “karate chop” point we have:

Side of hand Sadness. This is also a general point where we acknowledge how we feel and the issue we are working on

Inner eyebrow Trauma, Hurt Sadness

Outside of the eyebrow Rage Anger Frustration, Uneasiness

Under the eye Fear Anxiety Worry

Under the nose Shame Guilt Grief

Under the lip Confusion Embarrassment Uncertainty

Collarbone Worry Stuck Indecision

Under the arm Insecurity Obsession Self esteem

Top of the head Lack of focus, Ruminating

For more information about my work using EFT, Hypnosis, Eye movement therapy and techniques to help improve your life please visit www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com