Category: Stress

Why do we overthink so much?

We can often blame rumination or continually mentally analysing things in our life as an achilles heal in our thinking. But part of this habit could go back to our ancient ancestors’ need to keep themselves safe. We are all evolved from our early ancestors who would, even before speech, have to keep themselves safe as they mapped out the days’ chores in their minds. Just as we do now.

However they couldn’t reach for Google Maps to guide them safely out of their village. To get past the large tree on the left a mile down the road that often had dangerous snakes around would mean them going back into their memory banks and visualising all the options. They could always take the other route alongside the river but if they did they would have to make sure the river was safe to cross. And of course they had to be careful not to upset the mother elephant who lived on the left hand side of the bank as they were making their way to the stream.

Like us, they had choices to make, but their choices could mean life or death on their way to collect water or hunt for food. So we can imagine them having to carefully work out in their minds the safest route every time they stepped outside the limits of their village.

Much of our thinking patterns are still to a large degree connected to the primal parts of the brain. This part of the brain has one job to do and that is to keep us alive. All these primal connections are still working from the same survival needs that we are using from all those centuries ago.

So it makes sense that we can get ourselves stuck in a loop trying to make up our minds what order to do things, whether we take the train or the plane plus myriads of options and choices in our daily lives. This overthinking and worry can sometimes make us feel as if we are on a hamster wheel as we continually analyse every small detail that comes to mind. All those centuries ago this was a matter of life or death and sometimes it can feel as if we are still in that same place.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other stress issues are all linked to this natural overthinking process which can get out of hand. Learning how to detach and negotiate our way round a never-ending loop of thoughts and worries will help lift us out of the tension and stress that has been keeping us locked “looking out for danger” 24 hours a day.

For help achieving positive change and rapid stress release in your life I offer techniques such as Hypnosis, NLP, Emotional Freedom Technique, Eye movement Sequencing plus much more.

For more information please call +44 7970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Why you can’t clear your old traumas and how you can!

So you would like to do some work on life traumas that have blighted your past, release them and get back to enjoying your life in the ways you would like to.

But when you think about it you realize that you probably can’t remember all the traumas you have experienced. And then you realize that maybe there were traumas that you didn’t at the time realize were traumas. And what about that week you were in hospital when you were 3 years old, that must have been traumatic. And come to think of it so must have getting born been traumatic! But you can’t remember it, can you?

And what about the traumas that are carried through our family’s DNA and passed on to us through grandparents’ and parents DNA? We’re not blaming anyone because that is how it works but now we have traumas you know about, traumas you don’t remember, traumas you didn’t know were traumas and traumas that were passed down through the generations in the family DNA. And we are only just scratching the surface!

One paragraph and it is becoming clear that this is a much bigger job than we could ever have imagined!

And by now you might be thinking perhaps I will have to spend five years on the psychotherapist’s couch discussing every detail of my life and trying to release everything I don’t even know about!

Now there is nothing wrong with the psychotherapist’s couch but you might also be thinking (apart from the time and cost) “I really don’t want to speak about all these past traumatic events, it will be much and too uncomfortable to relive them again”. Fortunately there is a part of you that knows all about the traumas you know about, the traumas you don’t know about, the ones you didn’t know were traumas and the ones that you could never know about.

That part of you is your unconscious creative mind. So why not find out how you can let that part of you do the work while you get on with your everyday life.

Clients come to see me regularly with unresolved trauma and it is important that they can help clear it and move into a physical and emotional place they really feel they deserve to be in.

A first session would usually begin with some trauma clearing using pleasant relaxation, hypnosis, and easy eye movements. Sounds strange but is in fact very simple. And a big part of the message is to let the client’s unconscious continue to work on releasing past issues while they get on with their everyday lives. The unconscious creative is the part that knows what to do and how to do it safely, effectively, and simply.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is also a very powerful and non-intrusive technique that I regularly use to help clients release any negative energy around past issues without having to dredge deeply into everything about their past.

Once negative past issues begin to slip safely into the background we are then free to put into place the changes that bring us confidence, self-worth, and pleasure in all aspects of our lives.

Letting go of anger

Most of us have heard of Fight, Flight, or Freeze. This is our primal response that automatically kicks in whenever we sense danger. This part of our autonomic (automatic) nervous system will always strive to keep us safe if we feel threatened in any situation. It’s job is to keep us alive and to respond, immediately bypassing our thinking mind and filling the body with adrenaline and cortisol.

When we are angry we are not in logical control of our own thoughts and feelings and have been literally “taken over” by our fight instinct which will do (and say) anything to prevent us from being overwhelmed by a “deadly enemy”.

Of course, it is unlikely that we are actually being overwhelmed by a deadly enemy if we are just angry that no none has done the washing up or we have lost our own car keys!

Anger is an extremely damaging habit not only for the recipients of one’s anger but for the person dealing it out. So it is of prime importance that we take steps to control our anger or it will be detrimentally affecting our life and everyone around us. It must be curbed and quietened before it is too late. Once again the vagus nerve holds the key to keeping us from tipping over to boiling point on a regular basis.

However, the big problem is that as much as we wish to remain cool and relaxed this is not possible because in Fight or Flight, the only job our brain and nervous system has is to “keep us alive”! Unfortunately, we can’t be in two places at once so the only chance we have is to move into our ventral vagus place of safety if we are to heal physically and emotionally.

What we need are the best mental tools that help us construct simple changes that strengthen our connection with relaxation, calm, and safety. This is in fact our safe place.

Using hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, and Eye Movement Sequencing I have built a series of simple yet extremely effective ways that help clients train their own minds and physiology to achieve rapid and lasting results.. This not only helps resolve old behavior patterns but also builds powerful positive change with everyone they communicate with. When this happens the quality of improvement in everyone’s lives becomes enormous

For more information or to book an online or face-to-face appointment please visit my website www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk Email or call:+44(0)7970218451

rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

What is an ACE score and what it can tell you about your health and stress levels

A.C.E. stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences and is used as a guide to the chances of developing a chronic disease or mental disorder later in life.

Growing up one may have experienced psychological or physical trauma in the family or elsewhere but there are also traumas such as hospital visits, accidents, operations, and losing a loved one that could also be triggering psychological or physical distress long after the event.

This could lead to a reliance on alcohol or drugs to manage the emotional pain and anxiety.

The problem is that the fight or flight mechanism will have been switched on permanently and is looking out for danger virtually 24 hours a day.

Methods and strategies such as Hypnosis, Meditation, Eye Movement Sequencing, and Emotional Freedom Technique can literally help clients “Feel Safe” again. They are very effective in helping relieve stress whilst quietening intrusive thoughts and feelings. This allows the vagus nerve to effectively continue the healing process.

One problem is that, understandably, clients may feel uncomfortable talking through past emotional traumas. It can be so deeply imprinted in the psyche that just thinking of distressing past events can feel as if we are reliving them.

However, by using Eye Movement Therapy, Hypnotherapy, and EFT I have found it is actually possible to gain a level of relaxation that safely allows the unconscious to do a lot of the work for us.

For more information please email me at rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call +447970218451 and I will be very happy to help you.

Quickly quieten your mind and relax your body

There are many studies that scientifically show that repeating a single word to yourself helps quieten the mind and relax the body. Of course, this has been going on for thousands of years and the practice is called meditation.

We often imagine that meditation is a difficult thing to do requiring hours and years of study and dedication. However, simply saying a few chosen words quietly to yourself for just a few minutes can make profound and positive changes in the brain.

Personally, I like to use these four words Love – Joy – Compassion – Gratitude.

You can say them to yourself in any order in bed, in a quiet place sitting on the couch, or even on the train. You can also say them to yourself with your eyes open. Closed is probably best because the extra inward focus keeps the mind from wandering and helps close out the extraneous chatter that goes on in our heads. (Obviously do not try this when driving or anywhere that requires your full attention.)

The brainwave patterns that appear when we are meditating or in hypnosis are very similar. Both help us engage in a trance state whereby our cognitive mind quietens down and we drift into a slower brainwave state. Not only is it very pleasant to enjoy these quiet few minutes you will also notice that with regular use this technique brings with it a subtle positive adjustment in your thinking, relaxation, and your connection with yourself and others.

Remember, building positive improvements in our lives means looking for and being aware of subtle changes within our body, our reactions, and our mental programming. Often the quiet experiences in our lives can pass us by without us even being aware of them. So just a few minutes a day using an exercise such as this will help you engage a subtle state of being that calms, heals, and helps grow your life now and for your future.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Anger is stress for ourselves and everyone around us

Let’s make this simple. Anger is an unconscious sense of insecurity that we have probably learned from experiences when we were young and from life’s disappointments.

There are 3 words I write on virtually all my client’s notes at the start of the first session. “Am I Safe?”

In my experience, these three words cover virtually every difficult situation we have experienced in our lives whether it be anger, lack of confidence, addictions, performance stress, trauma, etc.

To protect us in uncomfortable situations our primal brain triggers fear sending body and mind into a fight-flight or freeze response. At that moment in time, our primal brain has just one job to do and that is to keep us alive. These automatic responses may be triggered by childhood events, disappointments growing up, lack of self-confidence, and any number of large and small traumas that we may have experienced throughout our lives.

However to give ourselves, and all those around us who will be affected by our behavior, some peace of mind, we must learn how to better control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. Trying to make everyone else dance to our tune will not cut it. This is all about working on ourselves.

Unconsciously we are all looking for control.

In the past, we may have felt insecure and desperately needed to control events in our lives. By hoping to control other people we also hoped we would feel safe. This gives us a hit of the brain chemical dopamine but that pleasure does not last long and only leaves us locked in a circuit of mental and physical stress affecting our own life and the lives of others around us.

Every week I am helping clients work positively on their our own nervous systems. This helps give them the opportunity to reclaim the experiences of safety and pleasure in their lives that we all need. Using simple and powerfully effective strategies and techniques you can do the same.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Chronic Pain and how you can relieve it

Chronic pain can be a really debilitating experience affecting virtually every part of our life. The constant background distress distracts our awareness from anything else around us and can leave us totally focused on our discomfort.

Of course, it is of primary importance that initially any pain in the body should be referred to a medical practitioner and/or a skilled professional bodywork therapist.

However, it is not unusual, even when scans and medical interventions have taken place, that the pain will not go away. This may be a body-brain loop that has become stuck and keeps repeating. This repeating signal may continue to automatically sequence between the neurons in the body and brain, strengthening its own circular message. Everything is becoming more highly sensitised and we were hoping for desensitisation.

It is not unusual for a client to come into my office and tell me that scans and doctor’s visits have revealed nothing physically out of order but IT STILL HURTS!

To help clients with this type of issue I will begin with hypnosis to help relax the body and mind. This really can help release some of the mental and physical stress very effectively.

EFT “tapping” is also an invaluable technique helping clear the faulty over-sensitised messages connecting the neural pathways. Now our body and mind can begin to return to healing mode and help quieten this highly charged loop. Pain and distress triggers our Fight or Flight mechanism and then our only task is “to keep ourselves alive”.

Another very simple change to make is in our language. Using the word pain will invariably “grow” more pain. Our body is programmed to respond before our conscious awareness can kick in. This means that by using the word pain we are continuing unconsciously to strengthen this connection and, surprise, surprise, we get more pain. The aim is to quieten, and whenever safe and possible to disconnect this loop and give the body a chance to heal.

However I am not discounting the word pain but replacing it with a word such as discomfort we are sending a healthier healing message to body and mind. This takes some of the “sting” out of it and helps us get out of “Fight or Flight” and back into a state of healing.

Pain is usually there for a reason so is not to be ignored. However, if there is nothing physical to be found then it is worth checking whether this pain is actually a residual discomfort loop still circulating unchecked.

For more information or to book an online or face to face appointment please visit my website www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk

Email or call: 07970218451

rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Cigarettes. Health or Wealth?

Still, smoking? You may well have been thinking about it for a long time but just can’t bring yourself to make that change. However, now circumstances have overtaken most of us and we are having to look carefully at our finances. What better place to start than with cigarettes?

It’s interesting how we generally put our health behind our “need” to continue smoking but for most, there comes a time when we will be forced to make that choice – cigarettes and illness, or no cigarettes and healthier future life.

I used to smoke decades ago but now we all know better. Everyone used to smoke then but when my eldest son, who was just a toddler at the time walked up to me holding a full ashtray saying “dirty, dirty”. I immediately knew it really was time to stop, and I did.

No regrets, no worries it was a strong enough message to my conscious and unconscious and I knew I had no answer that would stand up to even a moment’s scrutiny. My eldest is now grown up. He’s a nonsmoker and I’ve had no interest whatsoever in even trying one throughout all these decades.

However 25 years ago when I began seeing clients to help them stop smoking it probably took a month or so to recoup the fee. Now, with inflation, you’ve probably already worked out that a £95 hypnotherapy session is a bit of a bargain. And if you smoke 20 a day you could recoup it in just 9 days! After that, it’s all profit and you could be saving up for your next holiday.

So far we’ve ignored the “elephant in the room” ( it’s OK it’s used to being ignored!) We haven’t talked about health. Well I remember a letter in a local newspaper when this gentleman talked about how his father was a heavy smoker. His father used to say to him “Son, I’d love to stop but I just can’t”.

Soon after that conversation he coughed up a little blood on his handkerchief and from that day on his father never touched a cigarette again.

You won’t leave it too late will you?

For more information just call 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

And I will be happy to help you

Breathing into our healing body // Addictions, Stress, Trauma, Confidence, IBS etc.

When we hang on to stressful feelings and experiences they become “stored” in our body. They become a primal reminder to keep us safe from similar future events.

To help quieten and heal these feelings place your hands on the area that is experiencing the stress response. It may feel like “butterflies”, tingly, or over excited. It may be tight, cold, hot, locked or vulnerable.

Begin to imagine generating warmth within your mind to spread with your hands over that area. As you place your hands over that area take your time and be patient and as relaxed as you can. Just continue to focus and wait until you notice a sigh, a letting go signal from that stressed part of the mind and/or body.

Become aware of not only the surface but also beneath the skin and deeper as your hand sends “infra red warmth” right through your body to the stressed area.

We must make friends and help that part to heal rather than feeling it is just a part of us that is misbehaving. Otherwise we are sending messages of cortisol and adrenaline to the area rather than the body’s natural healing chemicals.

You can do this any time, any place.

Why you should address your stress and anxiety now?

Hypnosis and EFT are very effective ways you can release stress and worry

We may think stress is “all in the mind”. Even though it may appear to start in our mind there is no separating it from our body. That frightened feeling you experience in your stomach is cortisol and the fact your heart is racing so fast is adrenaline.

However these experiences are in fact designed to keep you safe. This means you can physically run for your life if you need to. But in our modern everyday life we are usually “imprisoned” in our experience when the brain signals to the body to produce a whole raft of “Fight and Flight” chemicals. This reaction to stress is part of our limbic system’s response to danger. However that response is primed for the jungle and in effect only has an “on/off” button. This means that once it switches on we have very few options to “turn it down” to a more realistic level.

Experiencing “happy” body and mind chemicals is great but they don’t last very long. So these feelings quickly become stored in the body. Recent scientific research has shown that physical issues can be exacerbated and even triggered by stress. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120402162546.htm And stress has been cited as a possible trigger in Autoimmune diseases such as Chronic Fatigue, Fybromalgia and more.

Ongoing tension and chronic anxiety can lead to structural changes in the brain as well as physical issues such as headaches, IBS, rises in blood pressure and sleep problems. According to the research as the tension rises the body’s inflammation response finds it harder to heal our body in the way it would normally do.

However if you do want to be able to release and resolve stress levels in your life (wherever they come from) Hypnosis and EFT can make rapid positive changes in your daily experiences and help get you back on track for a healthier and more enjoyable future.

More and more professional mental health practitioners are now bringing physical and mental programmes together to help both body and mind heal. Using both body and mind we can start to engage in new patterns of thinking and healing. With tried and tested tools such as Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique we have an effective and powerful opportunity to help match up the body responses together with the mind. This I know from my experience as a qualified hypnotherapist really helps bring about change that lasts.

If you would like to know more about the work I offer clients online all over the world and face to face in my office please visit www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk