Category: Life Changes

Who is the most important person in your life?

Many clients who come to see me for help with confidence have often forgotten about the most important person in their lives. For instance, carers, parents, and people working in the caring professions are so often doing so much amazing work supporting everyone around them that it’s easy to forget about themselves. When they come to see me they may be looking for more confidence, to experience less stress, and to be able to deal with whatever other issues they have in their lives.

Often our default thinking is that we must unrelentingly give all our energy to everyone else leaving us feeling empty and passed by. However, for so many years we have been mainly focusing so much on other people that we have forgotten to think about the most important person in the equation – ourselves.

To think that you are the most important person often contradicts the messages we give ourselves and the messages we have picked up over the years in our daily lives.

But the message is that you are the most important person in your world. Now this has nothing to do with arrogance or trying to be one up and cleverer than anyone else. It’s all about every one of us being the best person we can be.

We are all unique but holding ourselves back from being our best self does us no favours. This is not about becoming the CEO of a multi-billion corporation it’s about about loving and accepting our own skills and our own unique knowledge and wisdom.

So in your mind just “Step Into” the Real, Authentic, Best, and Brilliant You, and just for a moment feel how good that feels. How much you really deserve to be that person. Feel how that really engages you with positive connection and healthy pleasure and energy for yourself and everyone around you.

The more you enjoy it the more everyone around you will enjoy it.

This is your secret to take with you

They won’t consciously know what it is but they will feel good as well

To discover more of the techniques and strategies I offer my clients online and in my office to help empower themselves on a daily basis please call or email and I will be very happy to help.

How Heart Coherence can help you experience a more relaxed and balanced life

If you feel you would like more control over your heart rate Heart Coherence is a simple but very effective way to do that. You may feel your heart rate quickening up and slowing down in the different situations in your life and this is what our heart is supposed to do.

If we are stressed the body and mind can easily trigger straight into a Fight or Flight response to protect us from danger. This is our primal brain kicking in.

In modern life, we are not normally living in the actual jungle. However, we are, in effect often in a different jungle as we deal with modern-day stress and worry. This can easily put us in a physical and mental place whereby our primitive protective part becomes continually switched on. Of course, this can be very unhealthy when there is no real danger about and the stress of being in this state (and being disconnected from our ventral vagus nerve) means we cannot heal physically or emotionally.

So what can we do about this?

The science of Heart Coherence has some excellent and very simple exercises to help us connect back into a much more relaxed and healthier state physically and emotionally. Heart Coherence is based on scientific information collected from such modern medical instruments as electrocardiograms and pulse sensors. The material they measure in this instance is known as Heat Rate Variability which can be demonstrated through specific software programs.

These can tell us more about the state of both our physical and mental health but obviously, we are the ones who have to do something to make the changes we need.

One of the Heart Coherence exercises is a simple breathing pattern and you will only need 6 minutes, 3 times a day to help reset your life to a more relaxed and comfortable state physically and emotionally.

When we breathe in and out it feels like our heart is beating regularly when in fact it is an unsynchronous rhythm that accelerates on the in breath and decelerates on the out breath. In fact seen on a graph, each in and out breath also has lots of peaks and troughs and this is in fact perfectly natural.

However, as we do the simple Heart Coherence breathing exercise we will in effect be smoothing out the peaks and troughs of our breaths and the jagged ups and downs that are clearly shown on the computer readout.

All you have to do is set aside 6 minutes breathing 3 times a day

To do this sit or stand (ideally not lying unless you need to) in a quiet place, and when ready breathe in deeply for 5 seconds, (shoulders relaxed) and out for 5 seconds.

Keep each breath moving and you can time this in your head, on your mobile or on a clock keeping lips closed if possible.

Continue working your way up to 6 minutes if needed and do the exercise 3 times a day. After a week or so you will soon be aware of the positive changes you are making. If you are happy with your progress I would recommend doing this as an everyday habit.

If you use this for a week you will very likely begin to notice a positive change in your stress levels. As you breathe more deeply and easily you are getting more oxygen to your blood and the whole of your physiology will be calming itself as will your busy brain.

Of course, to achieve this state we need to practise it but it is a miniscule price to pay for relaxation, well-being and healing that will be triggered as we enter this state of heart coherence.

I recommend that you read this very short book by Dr. David O’Hare “Heart Coherence 365” which tells you all you need to know about the method and how valuable it is. At £3 52p on Kindle it is an absolute bargain and everything is explained very simply. (I have no financial interests in this book but it is fascinating to find out what is happening that we are not aware of as we breathe.

For more help with issues large or small feel free to contact me on +44 7970 218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Why you can’t clear your old traumas and how you can!

So you would like to do some work on life traumas that have blighted your past, release them and get back to enjoying your life in the ways you would like to.

But when you think about it you realize that you probably can’t remember all the traumas you have experienced. And then you realize that maybe there were traumas that you didn’t at the time realize were traumas. And what about that week you were in hospital when you were 3 years old, that must have been traumatic. And come to think of it so must have getting born been traumatic! But you can’t remember it, can you?

And what about the traumas that are carried through our family’s DNA and passed on to us through grandparents’ and parents DNA? We’re not blaming anyone because that is how it works but now we have traumas you know about, traumas you don’t remember, traumas you didn’t know were traumas and traumas that were passed down through the generations in the family DNA. And we are only just scratching the surface!

One paragraph and it is becoming clear that this is a much bigger job than we could ever have imagined!

And by now you might be thinking perhaps I will have to spend five years on the psychotherapist’s couch discussing every detail of my life and trying to release everything I don’t even know about!

Now there is nothing wrong with the psychotherapist’s couch but you might also be thinking (apart from the time and cost) “I really don’t want to speak about all these past traumatic events, it will be much and too uncomfortable to relive them again”. Fortunately there is a part of you that knows all about the traumas you know about, the traumas you don’t know about, the ones you didn’t know were traumas and the ones that you could never know about.

That part of you is your unconscious creative mind. So why not find out how you can let that part of you do the work while you get on with your everyday life.

Clients come to see me regularly with unresolved trauma and it is important that they can help clear it and move into a physical and emotional place they really feel they deserve to be in.

A first session would usually begin with some trauma clearing using pleasant relaxation, hypnosis, and easy eye movements. Sounds strange but is in fact very simple. And a big part of the message is to let the client’s unconscious continue to work on releasing past issues while they get on with their everyday lives. The unconscious creative is the part that knows what to do and how to do it safely, effectively, and simply.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is also a very powerful and non-intrusive technique that I regularly use to help clients release any negative energy around past issues without having to dredge deeply into everything about their past.

Once negative past issues begin to slip safely into the background we are then free to put into place the changes that bring us confidence, self-worth, and pleasure in all aspects of our lives.

Quickly quieten your mind and relax your body

There are many studies that scientifically show that repeating a single word to yourself helps quieten the mind and relax the body. Of course, this has been going on for thousands of years and the practice is called meditation.

We often imagine that meditation is a difficult thing to do requiring hours and years of study and dedication. However, simply saying a few chosen words quietly to yourself for just a few minutes can make profound and positive changes in the brain.

Personally, I like to use these four words Love – Joy – Compassion – Gratitude.

You can say them to yourself in any order in bed, in a quiet place sitting on the couch, or even on the train. You can also say them to yourself with your eyes open. Closed is probably best because the extra inward focus keeps the mind from wandering and helps close out the extraneous chatter that goes on in our heads. (Obviously do not try this when driving or anywhere that requires your full attention.)

The brainwave patterns that appear when we are meditating or in hypnosis are very similar. Both help us engage in a trance state whereby our cognitive mind quietens down and we drift into a slower brainwave state. Not only is it very pleasant to enjoy these quiet few minutes you will also notice that with regular use this technique brings with it a subtle positive adjustment in your thinking, relaxation, and your connection with yourself and others.

Remember, building positive improvements in our lives means looking for and being aware of subtle changes within our body, our reactions, and our mental programming. Often the quiet experiences in our lives can pass us by without us even being aware of them. So just a few minutes a day using an exercise such as this will help you engage a subtle state of being that calms, heals, and helps grow your life now and for your future.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Anger is stress for ourselves and everyone around us

Let’s make this simple. Anger is an unconscious sense of insecurity that we have probably learned from experiences when we were young and from life’s disappointments.

There are 3 words I write on virtually all my client’s notes at the start of the first session. “Am I Safe?”

In my experience, these three words cover virtually every difficult situation we have experienced in our lives whether it be anger, lack of confidence, addictions, performance stress, trauma, etc.

To protect us in uncomfortable situations our primal brain triggers fear sending body and mind into a fight-flight or freeze response. At that moment in time, our primal brain has just one job to do and that is to keep us alive. These automatic responses may be triggered by childhood events, disappointments growing up, lack of self-confidence, and any number of large and small traumas that we may have experienced throughout our lives.

However to give ourselves, and all those around us who will be affected by our behavior, some peace of mind, we must learn how to better control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. Trying to make everyone else dance to our tune will not cut it. This is all about working on ourselves.

Unconsciously we are all looking for control.

In the past, we may have felt insecure and desperately needed to control events in our lives. By hoping to control other people we also hoped we would feel safe. This gives us a hit of the brain chemical dopamine but that pleasure does not last long and only leaves us locked in a circuit of mental and physical stress affecting our own life and the lives of others around us.

Every week I am helping clients work positively on their our own nervous systems. This helps give them the opportunity to reclaim the experiences of safety and pleasure in their lives that we all need. Using simple and powerfully effective strategies and techniques you can do the same.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Are you spiralling into a continuous state of stress and anxiety?

And what can you do about it?

Our brains are still running on the primal circuits and neural pathways that belong to the jungle. But the jungle is not a very safe place. However we are still in a jungle but in a different jungle. A jungle that can feel just as scary as the actual jungle although in different ways. For instance we are constantly bombarded with worrying news, with deadlines, with all sorts of insecurities and doubts, some big and some small.

A lot of fears and worries in our present jungle come not from “life or death issues” that our fear response is primed to respond to, but from a series of ongoing doubts and worries that enter into our everyday lives unannounced.

This constant low level drip feeding begins to find it’s own channel to travel down which gets wider, broader and stronger the more we feed it. After time it can become almost like a raging torrent that takes over one’s life keeping us in a constant state of “looking out for danger”.

On virtually all my clients’ notes I start with three words. “Am I Safe?”

Whatever the issues we need to work on, they will virtually always stem from these three words.

But what we actually need is to get back to “I Am Safe”

This will mean reconnecting with our own feelings of safety in our everyday lives. The aim is to become able to control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. We can’t always control everything in our lives but it really is possible to learn to have a lot more control than you might imagine over your own nervous system.

Working with hypnotherapy, relaxation and EFT alongside simple and powerful strategies and techniques, I regularly and rapidly help clients lift themselves out of this spiral of stress, fear and worry. This way you can begin to direct and enjoy your own experiences and lives in a much more beneficial and satisfactory way.

Isn’t that where we all want to be?

For more information just email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call 07970 218451 and I will be happy to help

How to deal with chronic pain and anxiety?

Chronic Pain and how you can relieve it

Chronic pain can be a really debilitating experience affecting virtually every part of our life. The constant background distress distracts our awareness from anything else around us and understandably can leave us totally focused on our discomfort.

Of course, it is of primary importance that initially any pain in the body should be referred to a medical practitioner and/or a skilled professional bodywork therapist.

However, it is not unusual, even when scans and medical interventions have taken place, that the pain will not go away. This may be a body-brain loop that has become stuck and keeps repeating. This repeating signal may continue to automatically sequence between the neurons in the body and brain, strengthening its own circular message. So everything is becoming more highly sensitised and we were hoping for desensitisation.

It is not unusual for a client to come into my office and tell me that scans and doctor’s visits have revealed nothing physically out of order but IT STILL HURTS!

To help clients with this type of issue I will begin with hypnosis to help relax the body and mind. This really can help release some of the mental and physical stress very effectively.

EFT “tapping” is also an invaluable technique helping clear the faulty over-sensitised messages connecting the neural pathways. Now our body and mind can begin to return to healing mode and help quieten this highly charged loop. Pain and distress trigger our Fight or Flight mechanism and then our only task is “to keep ourselves alive”.

Another very simple change to make is in our language. Using the word pain will invariably “grow” more pain. Our body is programmed to respond before our conscious awareness can kick in. This means that by using the word pain we are continuing unconsciously to strengthen this connection, surprise, surprise, we get more pain. The aim is to quieten, and whenever safe and possible disconnect this loop and give the body a chance to heal.

However, I am not discounting the word pain but even replacing it with a word such as discomfort we are sending a healthier healing message to body and mind. This takes some of the “sting” out of it and helps us get out of “Fight or Flight” and back into a state of healing.

Pain is usually there for a reason so is not to be ignored. However, if there is nothing physical to be found then it is worth checking whether this pain is actually a residual discomfort loop still circulating unchecked.

For more information or to book an online or face-to-face appointment please visit my website www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk Email or call:

+44(0)7970218451

rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Trauma Release and how this method could help you

It’s tough going through life when past traumas still follow us around

Recently, one of my clients, on her second session said to me “It really was huge not having to revisit those old issues again”

The way to clear trauma and stress is often seen as deeply discussing every incident and issue whilst forensically picking one’s way through each experience from the past.

Now this can be one way of looking for the truth and finding answers but for me the question is, do we really need to continually revisit past traumas to achieve the mental freedom we are looking for? In therapy that method may work for some, but not for all.

To achieve what we are we are looking for we don’t necessarily have to relive the trauma and worries locked in the recesses of our unconscious mind. What’s more we would only be working on the tip of the iceberg.

Often I will work with clients who have told me nothing about their issue but who, after a few sessions will leave extremely happy with their outcome. If clients wish to talk about how they feel about their issues that is perfectly natural and an important part of the session but continually going over things can leave us reliving the old experiences on a never ending loop.

The secret is to show clients how they can use their unconscious to clear their past issues. Once they have connected with their creative unconscious mind that part will be able to continue the healing process whilst leaving the client free to enjoy their everyday lives.

So, in a nutshell our unconscious already knows all about our traumas, disappointments and worries from the past.

We could spend 5 years on the psychotherapist’s couch talking about our past traumas but we would only ever be able to scratch the tip of the iceberg.

Remember, there are traumas we know about, traumas we didn’t think were traumas and traumas we will never consciously know about. Getting born was traumatic but I don’t remember anything about it. Do you?

I help clients resolve these issues by using an empowering mix of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Eye Movement Sequencing that engages the creative unconscious mind. This way the work can be done on an unconscious level while helping my clients happily continue enjoying everyday lives.

And it’s nice to know that another part of us knows how to do this for us, isn’t it.

Chronic Pain and how you can relieve it

Of course, it is of primary importance that initially any pain in the body should be referred to a medical practitioner and/or a skilled professional bodywork therapist.

However, it is not unusual, even when scans and medical interventions have taken place, that the pain will not go away. This may be a body-brain loop that has become stuck and keeps repeating. This repeating signal may continue to automatically sequence between the neurons in the body and brain, strengthening its own circular message. Everything is becoming more highly sensitised and we were hoping for desensitisation.

It is not unusual for a client to come into my office and tell me that scans and doctor’s visits have revealed nothing physically out of order but IT STILL HURTS!

To help clients with this type of issue I will begin with hypnosis to help relax the body and mind. This really can help release some of the mental and physical stress very effectively.

EFT “tapping” is also an invaluable technique helping clear the faulty over-sensitised messages connecting the neural pathways. Now our body and mind can begin to return to healing mode and help quieten this highly charged loop. Pain and distress triggers our Fight or Flight mechanism and then our only task is “to keep ourselves alive”.

Another very simple change to make is in our language. Using the word pain will invariably “grow” more pain. Our body is programmed to respond before our conscious awareness can kick in. This means that by using the word pain we are continuing unconsciously to strengthen this connection and, surprise, surprise, we get more pain. The aim is to quieten, and whenever safe and possible to disconnect this loop and give the body a chance to heal.

However I am not discounting the word pain but replacing it with a word such as discomfort we are sending a healthier healing message to body and mind. This takes some of the “sting” out of it and helps us get out of “Fight or Flight” and back into a state of healing.

Pain is usually there for a reason so is not to be ignored. However, if there is nothing physical to be found then it is worth checking whether this pain is actually a residual discomfort loop still circulating unchecked.

For more information or to book an online or face to face appointment please visit my website www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk

Email or call: 07970218451

rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Why chanting om is so powerful?

Why is “OM” so good for you and will it help release anxiety and worry? And does chanting OM create a supernatural experience and help you connect to your higher being or source?

And the answer is probably yes to both those questions.

Chanting “OM” helps improve sleep, releases stress and helps you feel calmer. It focuses your mind, it balances your emotions and helps generate a feeling of peace.

But for now, just in case you were thinking OM is some strange sound that people use when practising yoga let’s have a look at some of the scientific proof that helps explain why that simple sound can be so powerful.

The chant OM is often used at the beginning and end of a yoga session or meditation. One clue to it’s natural power is in the vibrations, vibrations that create a calmer and more relaxed body and mind. When we hum or sing we are creating vibrations in the body that help us engage our vagus nerve which connects with virtually all our organs. When the vagus nerve is operating healthily it helps our body and mind relax and heal.

Now, why not try singing OM and notice when you close your mouth at the “MMM” how clearly you can feel the vibrations. Not only will your singing generate these vibrations but that will also be generating nitric oxide which will be regulating the elasticity in your veins and smoothing the blood flow

Scientific studies have also shown that chanting OM also raises levels of concentration and focus.

There are in fact a lot more scientifically proven benefits physical and mental benefits to OM so why not hum a few OMs in your everyday life? Then you will start to notice how it is helping you relax a little more and how you can begin to feel less stressed.

It won’t take any time at all to do and the more regularly you do so the better the results.

For more information about Hypnotherapy, EFT and Eye movement therapy which I offer online and one to one please go to www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk