Anger is stress for ourselves and everyone around us

Anger

Let’s make this simple. Anger is an unconscious sense of insecurity that we have probably learned from experiences when we were young and from life’s disappointments.

There are 3 words I write on virtually all my client’s notes at the start of the first session. “Am I Safe?”

In my experience, these three words cover virtually every difficult situation we have experienced in our lives whether it be anger, lack of confidence, addictions, performance stress, trauma, etc.

To protect us in uncomfortable situations our primal brain triggers fear sending body and mind into a fight-flight or freeze response. At that moment in time, our primal brain has just one job to do and that is to keep us alive. These automatic responses may be triggered by childhood events, disappointments growing up, lack of self-confidence, and any number of large and small traumas that we may have experienced throughout our lives.

However to give ourselves, and all those around us who will be affected by our behavior, some peace of mind, we must learn how to better control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. Trying to make everyone else dance to our tune will not cut it. This is all about working on ourselves.

Unconsciously we are all looking for control.

In the past, we may have felt insecure and desperately needed to control events in our lives. By hoping to control other people we also hoped we would feel safe. This gives us a hit of the brain chemical dopamine but that pleasure does not last long and only leaves us locked in a circuit of mental and physical stress affecting our own life and the lives of others around us.

Every week I am helping clients work positively on their our own nervous systems. This helps give them the opportunity to reclaim the experiences of safety and pleasure in their lives that we all need. Using simple and powerfully effective strategies and techniques you can do the same.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Trauma Release and how this method could help you

trauma

It’s tough going through life when past traumas still follow us around

Recently, one of my clients, on her second session said to me “It really was huge not having to revisit those old issues again”

The way to clear trauma and stress is often seen as deeply discussing every incident and issue whilst forensically picking one’s way through each experience from the past.

Now this can be one way of looking for the truth and finding answers but for me the question is, do we really need to continually revisit past traumas to achieve the mental freedom we are looking for? In therapy that method may work for some, but not for all.

To achieve what we are we are looking for we don’t necessarily have to relive the trauma and worries locked in the recesses of our unconscious mind. What’s more we would only be working on the tip of the iceberg.

Often I will work with clients who have told me nothing about their issue but who, after a few sessions will leave extremely happy with their outcome. If clients wish to talk about how they feel about their issues that is perfectly natural and an important part of the session but continually going over things can leave us reliving the old experiences on a never ending loop.

The secret is to show clients how they can use their unconscious to clear their past issues. Once they have connected with their creative unconscious mind that part will be able to continue the healing process whilst leaving the client free to enjoy their everyday lives.

So, in a nutshell our unconscious already knows all about our traumas, disappointments and worries from the past.

We could spend 5 years on the psychotherapist’s couch talking about our past traumas but we would only ever be able to scratch the tip of the iceberg.

Remember, there are traumas we know about, traumas we didn’t think were traumas and traumas we will never consciously know about. Getting born was traumatic but I don’t remember anything about it. Do you?

I help clients resolve these issues by using an empowering mix of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Eye Movement Sequencing that engages the creative unconscious mind. This way the work can be done on an unconscious level while helping my clients happily continue enjoying everyday lives.

And it’s nice to know that another part of us knows how to do this for us, isn’t it.

Need help? Wedding speech, business presentation, speech etc. – Hypnosis can help

Public speaking is well up amongst the top 20 in the list of common phobias. Whether it is giving a wedding speech, a business presentation at the office or to a group, anything that puts us in the spotlight can easily and instantly trigger our autonomic nervous system into fight and flight. Presentation

This response originates from the primal part of our brain and is there to save us from predators and danger when we are in the jungle. Well, we are not in the jungle now but we are in a different sort of jungle. In the actual jungle we need a system that will respond immediately and help us get to safety very quickly. The problem is, in modern life we rarely need it to operate this way.

This is a very powerful part of our autonomic nervous system and easily overpowers our logical thinking with adrenaline and cortisol. But all we want to do is deliver our speech or presentation in a calm, comfortable and easy manner? You would think it should be easy wouldn’t you?

But if we suffer from raised heartbeat, sweaty palms and weeks of worry before an event what options are there to help us?

Hypnotherapy is a powerful and favorite method that has for years, helped countless people through the ordeal of standing up in public and delivering a speech or presentation.

Our autonomic nervous system is actually designed to generate the uncomfortable responses automatically so we have time to run to safety. However using hypnosis is one of the ways we can actually begin to control this part of the system.

Using deep and comfortable relaxation while engaging the creative side of our brain helps bring more control to the logical and technical sides of our thinking. Calming the adrenaline rush and bringing down cortisol levels frees the brain to operate and perform comfortably with confidence and enjoyment. Hypnosis also helps us pinpoint any past experiences that may have contributed to how we have been responding. It also helps release these negative experiences from our system.

If you would like to know more about Hypnosis, EFT and Eye Movement Therapy and how it could help you please go to www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk or email me at rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

SMILE

What happens to the brain and body when we smile?

What happens to anxiety and stress when we smile?

When we smile we instantly generate a happy flood of “feel good” brain chemicals. Neuropeptides that relieve stress and anxiety, neurotransmitters such as serotonin (an antidepressant) and endorphins that are pain relievers are all instantly activated, giving the whole body and mind a quick, smiley happy workout!  Smile Lady

And these are just a few of the positive changes the body makes for us.

As we grow older we are less likely to smile as much as we used to. However each time we smile we will appear more friendly and reliable and people will find us more attractive. They are also more likely to mirror our smile back to us which makes everyone feel good.

Now we don’t even have to generate a huge grin to get these benefits. Just an almost microscopic lifting of the edges of the lips will set off this natural cascade of “happy” chemicals.

And the people around us will very likely be unconsciously joining in with their own smiles.

To feel the benefits all you need to do is to engage your facial muscles with a little outward stretching of the mouth and a little pulling up of the cheek muscles.

Well you don’t need me to tell you how to do that do you!?” 😃

This is so simple and is something vitally important to our physical and mental well being. A tiny magical move that brightens up our own lives and also everyone around us.

Just “check in” with it every now and then throughout the day and enjoy the difference.

For more information on Hypnotherapy, EFT and EMDR and how I help clients achieve their goals and improve their lives please email or call and I will be very happy to discuss how I could help you .

HELP! Racing Heart? Panic? Anxiety? Stress? Tinnitus? Etc…..

Learn to breathe much more efficiently to help control and relieve these and other mind/body issues

Disclaimer: Always seek professional medical advice to check your state of health

The way we breathe plays a massive part in our physical and mental health and it will be very difficult to solve the above and many other issues effectively if we are not breathing correctly. The majority of clients who come to see me with stress, anxiety or panic attacks are (obviously) still breathing but not correctly! Anxiety Stress

If you watch a baby breathing you will see how easy and natural it looks. However, as we grow up, life gets in the way with a disappointment here and a knock there, and over time that continues to build up leaving us in the fight and flight state, looking for danger at every corner.

This is a heavy drain on our resources and over time wears us out, exacerbating the tension in the body and leaving us physically and mentally exhausted.

Breathing correctly is paramount to our health so here is a simple way to learn how to do it much more efficiently.

I would suggest to at first practise this lying down, soles of your feet flat on the floor, knees pointing upwards and a cushion under your head.

If we first try this sitting or standing we can become confused because the connection between brain and body has been slowly getting lost over time. Lying on the floor means we can’t move our shoulders and the brain /body can relearn the natural breathing pathways and muscular connections.

THE SEQUENCE

So, lying on the floor or bed, when you feel comfortable in this position place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest just below the collarbones.

Now we get to the part that seems so simple but can take a few days to get used to especially if we have been upper chest breathing and not using the lungs efficiently.

Take a slow breath in and notice what moves.

If correct you will start the breath from your belly and your lower hand will move up. If not you will be lifting the shoulders and breathing only into the upper part of the chest and only the hand on your chest will rise.

Now focus on your belly and push in and out a few times with your abdomen muscles.

Now using those muscles breathe deeply in as if all the air is going into your belly. It’s not air but the diaphragm pushing down and making more space for the lungs to fill with air.

Do this a few times to get that new sequence working.

With a little practise you won’t need to think about your abdomen muscles, they will strengthen and work simply as the diaphragm moves down and the organs move out of the way to give more space.

The next part brings the ribcage into play.

From the same position “breath half the air into the belly” and then continue to breathe in the rest of the air into the chest without raising the shoulders. Notice what is happening as the air physically fills the lungs. As the lungs expand so will the ribcage expand at which point you will feel the hand on your chest moving up with each breath.

The more you get a feel for this the more you will feel the ribcage expanding not just at the front but also through the sides and back.

Keeping your hand on your belly, experiment by moving the top hand and touch the side of your ribcage. Now as you breath in and out you will feel the ribs expand at the side of your chest.

Practise this in bed on the floor only for a minute or two each day until you get used to it but you will soon find that this sequence will become natural and you will be doing it without thinking.

I hope you find this useful and if you would like more tips on improving your lifestyle please follow me on YouTube.

www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk

Hypnotherapy.EFT. Holistic Counselling. NLP. Eye Movement Reprocessing and much more

 

The PROBLEM with Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

The problem with Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

Is there a problem with hypnosis and hypnotherapy? Not at all, as long as it is done ethically.

The problem in our mind comes when we muddle hypnotherapy up with what we see on television and with stage hypnosis. A short clip of someone resolving an issue on television or YouTube is just that. It’s short, and it is a only a clip. So we are not privy to the actual work done backstage and the time and the techniques used to elicit trance.

Hypnosis is a remarkable tool that gives a skilled hypnotherapist the opportunity to help clients make rapid and lasting change. However there are many other tools a hypnotherapist must have if they want to work with the wide range of issues that clients bring to their office.

Another factor equally important is the client. The client is not just someone who is going to be told what to do and how to feel. Like anything we learn in life it involves the active participation of both therapist and client. To get the most from a hypnotherapy session we must be willing and ready to engage in the process.

Watching from the comfort of our armchair as a hypnotist taps a line of participants on the shoulder and says “sleep” can be very entertaining as one by one heads nod forward and they are put into trance. But this is stage hypnosis not hypnotherapy and only about 1 in 10 people are able to reach that state as rapidly as we see on stage. Even on stage as a third of the audience run forward to be “hypnotised” most will be sent back to their seats. A skilled hypnotist knows instantly the ones who will naturally and rapidly respond to their commands.

However virtually anyone can go into trance. In fact it would be difficult to operate in our daily life if we couldn’t. We are all experiencing different trances throughout the day. Driving, socialising, watching TV are all forms of trance that help us enter and engage appropriately with each experience we are in at any given moment.

Hypnotherapy is a two lane highway where client and therapist work alongside each other to help achieve the client’s goals. This work is a process of connecting new empowering and positive neural pathways just like learning any skills. We practise any skill not just with our muscles but with our mind.

Your mind, given the right keys to release the changes you are looking for, already has that knowledge and it is available to you now.

Building Confidence and Self Esteem with Hypnosis

Self Esteem

Hypnosis can really help you regain confidence

There are many books and YouTube videos out there showing different ways and strategies to help build your confidence and self esteem with many useful tips to help deal with issues such as these. A book or video can only take us so far since making changes without releasing past experiences and causes that got us into that position are likely to block us from the next step. We will know all about how we want to feel but very likely find that there is a “road block” keeping us from putting all the changes into action.

We have different therapies and modalities available to us to help us make the changes we are looking for but in my point of view we don’t necessarily need to spend five years on the psychotherapist’s couch trying to resolve past experiences and issues.

Now this is not to say that this type of therapy is not valuable and many people find it useful to talk about their past to help clear the present. However even if we do spend that amount of time working on our past we would have no hope of discovering every little issue, disappointment and trauma that occurred along the way in our lives. We may have clear recollection of certain incidents from our past that could have been significant but some of our issues will have been passed down through our parents DNA, their parents DNA and all the experiences we had when young.

Having said that, there is a part of us that knows all about every one of these experiences and that is our unconscious mind. Often called the creative unconscious the creative unconscious is the part of us that knows how to let go of any unconscious material that may be restricting how to create the confident and comfortable self that we know we could be.

Hypnosis, in the form of hypnotherapy is one of the quickest, safest and most effective ways to make empowering and deep change safely and rapidly. (This is not to be confused with stage hypnosis which uses the hypnotic part of the mind but obviously not the therapy work)

The changes we are looking for are in our imagination as are the blocks that have been keeping us disconnected from them. If I want to go to the shop I need to make a picture in my mind of what the shop looks, I need to roughly imagine the route I will take otherwise I would never get past the front door!

With hypnosis you have the opportunity to open up that route and replace the “road blocks” with more of the feelings and experiences that you know you deserve to bring into your life.

And this is why Hypnotherapy and working with a qualified and expert practitioner is a safe, powerful and rapid therapy that helps many, many people achieve so much more in their lives every day.

And if you would like to sample the experience of relaxation and trance you can try my –

Now Simply Relax – Deep Relaxation Video on YouTube

I hope you enjoy it

Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy

Therapist

Is a Therapist a Life Coach and is a Life Coach a Therapist?

Well yes and no.

A Therapist will need therapy credentials to be able to set up their practice and a Life Coach will presumably have been through certain training before setting up their practice.

The more I have developed my Hypnotherapy practice and brought in various other trance based modalities the more I realise how much EVERYTHING COUNTS. For instance if I am working with a business client who feels nervous giving a presentation then one of the many things I need to offer that client are tools to manage their anxiety otherwise all their valuable work could be overwhelmed by their fear of public speaking. On the other hand if I am a Life Coach helping a business client feel comfortable in these situations they also will require to offer, for example voice projection and presentation tools. And so here we begin to see that success for the client is supported by both the coaching aspect and the therapy aspect of their treatment.

When I continued to bring in more techniques and tools that covered more eventualities the results began to speak for themselves.

So I found myself joining tools for life coaching and tools for therapy together. As they say, “you only get one chance to make a good impression” whether it is interviewing for a job or speaking to a few hundred people in a packed auditorium. To grasp that opportunity how much better to have a powerful selection of tools, coaching and therapy, that cover as many eventualities as possible.

Some people are looking for coaching to help them and some are looking for therapy to help them. Yet Hypnosis, Life Coaching and Therapy can begin to easily and fluidly become one and the same thing. Trance is a state of Hypnosis and Life Coaching is a form of therapy. Hypnosis is a state of trance and therapy is a form of Life Coaching.

Everything overlaps and extending one’s skills in overlapping areas will help give clients more information and power to develop the changes they are looking for.

Some people will be looking for a Life Coach and some for a Hypnotherapist but where does one end and the other begin. The titles may be different but the real differences are more likely to be in the personalities and specialties of each practitioner.

So the best advice is first look for recommendations you can trust. Engage your intuition to help you get the best match for you and your issue whether a Therapist, Hypnotherapist or Life Coach.

Or perhaps you would like all three?

Help Relieve past trauma with Hypnosis, EFT and EMDR

Help Relieve past trauma

 Hypnosis, EFT and EMDR can help relieve PTSD 

The problem for clients wishing to relieve (without reliving!) and let go of past trauma in therapy is that it can feel very uncomfortable to speak about something that has left a deep and uncomfortable impression on one’s life. Also the thought of unburdening deep and painful experiences to a stranger can mean that one to one therapy may be impossible to even contemplate.

However using a mix of Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing I have put together a way of letting the unconscious mind do the work of putting space between oneself and the past without even having to consciously think or talk about it.

This may seem a little strange. However, how long would it take us to cover every aspect and every one of our past traumas in talking therapy? And how would we know if we have covered them all? And what about the ones we don’t remember plus the ones passed on genetically from our parents and their parents?

As a hypnotherapist if people wish to talk about past experiences that is fine but not everybody does. In fact I regularly work with clients who would prefer not to talk through the past and it is amazing the changes that can occur as their unconscious quietly goes about the task of reprocessing this information and releasing it with virtually no emotional involvement. In fact it is not unusual for me to know very little, if anything about the personal depth of the issues we are working on.

Therapy is always moving forward and just as the days of the hypnotist’s swinging watch and chain are gone so there are new and extremely effective ways of dealing with many, many issues.

For more information about this or any other issues just call or email and I will be happy to help.

Always seek appropriate medical advice.

Three things to bring with you to a hypnotherapy session

Therapy Session

And get the best results when working with your hypnotherapist

If you haven’t experienced hypnotherapy before it can be a little daunting wondering what will happen and how you will feel when in hypnosis. Most of us have seen stage shows and hypnotists on television so understandably one may feel a little wary. However hypnosis could be one of the most relaxing experiences you have had but unfortunately the thoughts of “will I cluck like a chicken or tell all my darkest secrets” can make us somewhat guarded at that first appointment.

Now, a professional hypnotherapist would not make any of their clients cluck like a chicken and you certainly will not be telling anybody anything that you would rather keep to yourself.

However these worries can set up an unconscious resistance before we even cross the threshold so it is best to be aware of these thoughts to help allow yourself to participate as comfortably as you like in the session.

First, remember that the therapist is there to help you and has your best interests at heart. One of the strengths that Milton Erickson, the founder of modern hypnosis had, along with his remarkable skills was his ability to unconsciously convey to his clients how much he cared that they achieve the very best results.

Consciously knowing this means that there will be no need to “do battle” with the hypnotherapist. Just think how much more relaxed will you feel and how much easier it will be when both of you are working together. Those who arrive with arms folded and a “well fix me then” look on their face will take up valuable time in their session when they could be making valuable changes instead.

One reason for this resistance is that our logical thinking mind may not want us to do this work since our logical mind may not want to hand over control to the creative mind. (Yes you can relax, it will still be your mind not the hypnotherapists‘!) What the logical mind can find hard to grasp at times is that accessing the power of our creative mind will help free our logical mind thereby encouraging the whole brain to work more harmoniously. The vast majority of clients are very easy to work with and if there is any discomfort then as professionals it is our job to help put the client at ease so they will leave the session happier and more relaxed than when they came so helping them achieve their best results.

So all you have to do is bring along the belief that you will be exploring wonderful and powerful ways to help let go of the issues you will be working on plus three experiences that will help you get the best possible results –

Focus, relaxation and imagination.