Anger is stress for ourselves and everyone around us

Anger

Let’s make this simple. Anger is an unconscious sense of insecurity that we have probably learned from experiences when we were young and from life’s disappointments.

There are 3 words I write on virtually all my client’s notes at the start of the first session. “Am I Safe?”

In my experience, these three words cover virtually every difficult situation we have experienced in our lives whether it be anger, lack of confidence, addictions, performance stress, trauma, etc.

To protect us in uncomfortable situations our primal brain triggers fear sending body and mind into a fight-flight or freeze response. At that moment in time, our primal brain has just one job to do and that is to keep us alive. These automatic responses may be triggered by childhood events, disappointments growing up, lack of self-confidence, and any number of large and small traumas that we may have experienced throughout our lives.

However to give ourselves, and all those around us who will be affected by our behavior, some peace of mind, we must learn how to better control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. Trying to make everyone else dance to our tune will not cut it. This is all about working on ourselves.

Unconsciously we are all looking for control.

In the past, we may have felt insecure and desperately needed to control events in our lives. By hoping to control other people we also hoped we would feel safe. This gives us a hit of the brain chemical dopamine but that pleasure does not last long and only leaves us locked in a circuit of mental and physical stress affecting our own life and the lives of others around us.

Every week I am helping clients work positively on their our own nervous systems. This helps give them the opportunity to reclaim the experiences of safety and pleasure in their lives that we all need. Using simple and powerfully effective strategies and techniques you can do the same.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Trauma Release and how this method could help you

trauma

It’s tough going through life when past traumas still follow us around

Recently, one of my clients, on her second session said to me “It really was huge not having to revisit those old issues again”

The way to clear trauma and stress is often seen as deeply discussing every incident and issue whilst forensically picking one’s way through each experience from the past.

Now this can be one way of looking for the truth and finding answers but for me the question is, do we really need to continually revisit past traumas to achieve the mental freedom we are looking for? In therapy that method may work for some, but not for all.

To achieve what we are we are looking for we don’t necessarily have to relive the trauma and worries locked in the recesses of our unconscious mind. What’s more we would only be working on the tip of the iceberg.

Often I will work with clients who have told me nothing about their issue but who, after a few sessions will leave extremely happy with their outcome. If clients wish to talk about how they feel about their issues that is perfectly natural and an important part of the session but continually going over things can leave us reliving the old experiences on a never ending loop.

The secret is to show clients how they can use their unconscious to clear their past issues. Once they have connected with their creative unconscious mind that part will be able to continue the healing process whilst leaving the client free to enjoy their everyday lives.

So, in a nutshell our unconscious already knows all about our traumas, disappointments and worries from the past.

We could spend 5 years on the psychotherapist’s couch talking about our past traumas but we would only ever be able to scratch the tip of the iceberg.

Remember, there are traumas we know about, traumas we didn’t think were traumas and traumas we will never consciously know about. Getting born was traumatic but I don’t remember anything about it. Do you?

I help clients resolve these issues by using an empowering mix of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Eye Movement Sequencing that engages the creative unconscious mind. This way the work can be done on an unconscious level while helping my clients happily continue enjoying everyday lives.

And it’s nice to know that another part of us knows how to do this for us, isn’t it.

Do you think you might have an alcohol addiction?

Alcohol Addiction

Check this out – it will surprise you!

Did you know that even one or two glasses of wine on a daily basis, or 5 or 6 beers every Saturday could be having a profound negative impact on your health and well being?

If you are not sure whether to believe this just click on the link below for an excellent scientific explanation of what exactly happens.

(https://www.google.com/search?q=huberman+lab+podcast+alcohol&oq) (3.19 min and 24.23min.)

When clients call me for help stopping or curtailing their bad habits or addictions I always say that a few sessions will be required to help resolve this. We all hope that by using hypnotherapy a quick flick of the hand and the words “SLEEP” will “cure” us in just one session. Well this does happen but for the majority of clients I suggest 3 or 4 sessions will give them the tools and strategies to help them make and keep the changes they are looking for.

Many of us are using some addictive habits to help us feel safe and comfortable in our world. This is only natural but becoming addicted to habits such as smoking, drinking, drugs and gambling can only support us for so long without having major detrimental effects on our mental and physical health.

I use Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and Eye Movement sequencing. These simple but powerful strategies coupled with remarkably easy changes you can use on a daily basis really help clients achieve rapid and major turnarounds in their daily lives.

This can all be done very effectively online and also in my office. To book an appointment or for more information please call me on +44 7970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to help.

www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk

SMILE

What happens to the brain and body when we smile?

What happens to anxiety and stress when we smile?

When we smile we instantly generate a happy flood of “feel good” brain chemicals. Neuropeptides that relieve stress and anxiety, neurotransmitters such as serotonin (an antidepressant) and endorphins that are pain relievers are all instantly activated, giving the whole body and mind a quick, smiley happy workout!  Smile Lady

And these are just a few of the positive changes the body makes for us.

As we grow older we are less likely to smile as much as we used to. However each time we smile we will appear more friendly and reliable and people will find us more attractive. They are also more likely to mirror our smile back to us which makes everyone feel good.

Now we don’t even have to generate a huge grin to get these benefits. Just an almost microscopic lifting of the edges of the lips will set off this natural cascade of “happy” chemicals.

And the people around us will very likely be unconsciously joining in with their own smiles.

To feel the benefits all you need to do is to engage your facial muscles with a little outward stretching of the mouth and a little pulling up of the cheek muscles.

Well you don’t need me to tell you how to do that do you!?” 😃

This is so simple and is something vitally important to our physical and mental well being. A tiny magical move that brightens up our own lives and also everyone around us.

Just “check in” with it every now and then throughout the day and enjoy the difference.

For more information on Hypnotherapy, EFT and EMDR and how I help clients achieve their goals and improve their lives please email or call and I will be very happy to discuss how I could help you .

Addiction – Is there a hypnotic loop that drives us?

Addction

Addiction and Dopamine

Addiction can be one of the hardest things in our lives to turn round. We may be able to rapidly “switch off” a phobia using hypnosis. And we may be surprised how quickly and effectively it is possible to release ourselves from anxiety and stress once we have the right tools to do so.

So why do addictions often take more time to resolve?

One reason is the complex neural and mental programmes working beneath our awareness and continuing to drive us however hard we try to resist.

We all live with addiction of some sort. Food, TV, Facebook, Video games, Alcohol etc. These are not bad habits as long they are under a certain amount of control. But when they are accompanied by negative changes in our daily life then it really is time to address them.

Do you recognise a warm relaxing feeling of pleasure and reward that your addiction gives you?

That feeling is the brain chemical dopamine and it plays a large part in the reason we get addicted. Addiction will follow the easy way to get dopamine hits. A dopamine hit that we have to earn is not as attractive as a dopamine hit we can get instantly. And soon we are locked into a cycle that takes over the brain and literally starts rewiring it!

Think this dopamine model doesn’t apply to you?

To change an addictive behaviour it is important to recognise what is happening on an unconscious level and bring it to a conscious level. For instance I just walked away from my computer to take some washing out of the machine. Nothing abnormal about that but…I then realised that emptying the machine gave me a little more dopamine reward than writing this post. When I have finished this post I will get a feeling of satisfaction and reward. But I will have to wait for that reward until I have finished.

Emptying the washing machine gives me feeling of satisfaction and reward that I can get NOW! And the point is that it is fractionally more than I get from relentlessly typing on the computer keyboard!

Just start to notice these subtle triggers in your daily life

Now is the time to start controlling any destructive habits. Hypnosis, NLP, EFT and EMDR are powerful tools to help you kick the old habits.  As you start to recognise these subtle triggers you may be very surprised at what is happening.

Knowledge is the first key to achieving change. The second is having the tools to make the change. A good professional therapist will have the tools and knowledge to help guide and support you all the way.

Roger Foxwell MBSCH Dhyp DHP

Hypnotherapy, Emotional Freedom Technique, NLP, EMDR

Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy

Therapist

Is a Therapist a Life Coach and is a Life Coach a Therapist?

Well yes and no.

A Therapist will need therapy credentials to be able to set up their practice and a Life Coach will presumably have been through certain training before setting up their practice.

The more I have developed my Hypnotherapy practice and brought in various other trance based modalities the more I realise how much EVERYTHING COUNTS. For instance if I am working with a business client who feels nervous giving a presentation then one of the many things I need to offer that client are tools to manage their anxiety otherwise all their valuable work could be overwhelmed by their fear of public speaking. On the other hand if I am a Life Coach helping a business client feel comfortable in these situations they also will require to offer, for example voice projection and presentation tools. And so here we begin to see that success for the client is supported by both the coaching aspect and the therapy aspect of their treatment.

When I continued to bring in more techniques and tools that covered more eventualities the results began to speak for themselves.

So I found myself joining tools for life coaching and tools for therapy together. As they say, “you only get one chance to make a good impression” whether it is interviewing for a job or speaking to a few hundred people in a packed auditorium. To grasp that opportunity how much better to have a powerful selection of tools, coaching and therapy, that cover as many eventualities as possible.

Some people are looking for coaching to help them and some are looking for therapy to help them. Yet Hypnosis, Life Coaching and Therapy can begin to easily and fluidly become one and the same thing. Trance is a state of Hypnosis and Life Coaching is a form of therapy. Hypnosis is a state of trance and therapy is a form of Life Coaching.

Everything overlaps and extending one’s skills in overlapping areas will help give clients more information and power to develop the changes they are looking for.

Some people will be looking for a Life Coach and some for a Hypnotherapist but where does one end and the other begin. The titles may be different but the real differences are more likely to be in the personalities and specialties of each practitioner.

So the best advice is first look for recommendations you can trust. Engage your intuition to help you get the best match for you and your issue whether a Therapist, Hypnotherapist or Life Coach.

Or perhaps you would like all three?

Three things to bring with you to a hypnotherapy session

Therapy Session

And get the best results when working with your hypnotherapist

If you haven’t experienced hypnotherapy before it can be a little daunting wondering what will happen and how you will feel when in hypnosis. Most of us have seen stage shows and hypnotists on television so understandably one may feel a little wary. However hypnosis could be one of the most relaxing experiences you have had but unfortunately the thoughts of “will I cluck like a chicken or tell all my darkest secrets” can make us somewhat guarded at that first appointment.

Now, a professional hypnotherapist would not make any of their clients cluck like a chicken and you certainly will not be telling anybody anything that you would rather keep to yourself.

However these worries can set up an unconscious resistance before we even cross the threshold so it is best to be aware of these thoughts to help allow yourself to participate as comfortably as you like in the session.

First, remember that the therapist is there to help you and has your best interests at heart. One of the strengths that Milton Erickson, the founder of modern hypnosis had, along with his remarkable skills was his ability to unconsciously convey to his clients how much he cared that they achieve the very best results.

Consciously knowing this means that there will be no need to “do battle” with the hypnotherapist. Just think how much more relaxed will you feel and how much easier it will be when both of you are working together. Those who arrive with arms folded and a “well fix me then” look on their face will take up valuable time in their session when they could be making valuable changes instead.

One reason for this resistance is that our logical thinking mind may not want us to do this work since our logical mind may not want to hand over control to the creative mind. (Yes you can relax, it will still be your mind not the hypnotherapists‘!) What the logical mind can find hard to grasp at times is that accessing the power of our creative mind will help free our logical mind thereby encouraging the whole brain to work more harmoniously. The vast majority of clients are very easy to work with and if there is any discomfort then as professionals it is our job to help put the client at ease so they will leave the session happier and more relaxed than when they came so helping them achieve their best results.

So all you have to do is bring along the belief that you will be exploring wonderful and powerful ways to help let go of the issues you will be working on plus three experiences that will help you get the best possible results –

Focus, relaxation and imagination.

Have you pressed your “Like” button today?

Now, this could be my shortest post yet and it could also be the shortest and simplest way to help you on your way to finding much more pleasure in your life.

Question. How much time do you spend on Facebook? (Just skip this if you’re not on Facebook, it won’t matter!) How often do you “like” someone’s post? How often do you receive a message saying someone “Likes” your post. How does that make you feel?

Now if you want to create more pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction in your life start to notice today, starting right now any small pleasurable experience however seemingly insignificant, any satisfying achievement that happens and just press your own internal “Like” button. This simple thought process will send a subtle but powerful surge of Alpha (dreamy) waves through your brain and you just rewired your brain right?

As a hypnotherapist and mind coach, clients come to see me to help them change their experience of the world they are in. How can we do that?

A/ By letting go of past issues that are keeping us stuck where we are.

B/ By reorganising our thinking patterns which in turn rewires our brain.

Do this on a daily basis and see what happens. Start right now.

Press your own “LIKE” button.

(And press it twice if you liked this post!)

Are you talking “Absolute Turnip”?

Have you thought about changing your thoughts?

Andy Murray competing in the 2016 French Open tennis quarter finals was heard to shout “Absolute Turnip” to himself as he fought to break the serve of big hitter John Isner. Apparently this is a phrase he has been using for a few years now, presumably for shots that were not his best and it certainly worked on this occasion.

However, how often during the day do we talk to ourselves and are we really listening to what we say to ourselves carefully? Pretty much everything we say to ourselves will have some unconscious effect on our perception of ourselves and our skills. It may not be enough for us to notice any immediate difference but the “drip, drip” effect of this self talk can easily make a big difference to our confidence and self esteem over time.

Now we may find it amusing to call ourselves or our tennis game “absolute turnip” but remember that your unconscious mind is listening to everything you say and may not be translating it the way you expect.

Have you ever told a child “now don’t drop those plates”? Seems to be very good advice and a very good suggestion. But what message does the unsuspecting youngster hear first? Drop the plates!! Why, because the brain will first do a quick rehearsal of “drop the plates” before adding in “don’t”. Too late! The plates are on the floor and broken before the conscious mind has a chance to save the situation.

There is a very good book “Your body believes every word you say” and if we think about it for a moment we cannot have an emotional feeling without a physical reaction any more than we can experience something physical without some sort sort of emotional experience. Plus, our mind is constantly making decisions for us before we know we have even thought of them. This is a very useful thing since this leaves the prefrontal cortex free to make our executive decisions and operate hopefully with our best interests in mind, while we carry on doing our everyday tasks like walking downstairs or washing up.

So it’s well worth paying a little more attention to your “self talk” bearing in mind that there are lots of different parts of you listening to what you say and interpreting that information perhaps not in the way you expect. Maybe saying our tennis is “absolute turnip” is no big deal but saying derogatory statements about ourselves and our skills certainly is. We all deserve better so make sure you do a bit of weeding around that unconscious vegetable patch and grow some more positive thoughts. It really will make a difference.

Hypnosis, alcohol addiction and “dry January”

Alchol Addiction

So here we are halfway through January 2016 but also halfway through “dry January” which means taking up the challenge not to drink any alcohol until February. Alcohol Concern who are running The campaign point out the significant benefits such as weight loss, better sleep and of course more money in your pocket.

The question is, what happens on February 1st? On that day many people will make an important change in their habits and from their experience of “dry January” take stock of their situation. Having experienced the benefits of moderate drinking or even not drinking at they will make the decision to stop or cut down on their habit.

However writing in The British Medical Journal Ian Hamilton, lecturer at York University  raises the question whether after this 31 days abstinence it might just give some people unconscious permission to continue with their dangerous levels of drinking until the next New Year’s Day.

The good news is that according to research by Public Health England after the 2015 campaign 67%  of participants actually continued the changes they had made in January and were still maintaining a more healthy level of drinking after 6 months.

However if you find you are using drink to support or ignore other issues in your life this self medication is not a healthy way to deal with problems in one’s life especially on a long-term basis.

There is help available and just taking that first step to get help is the most important thing to do in this situation. There is a wide variety of options available from an appointment with your Doctor, a visit to AA and other specialist organisations that have the skills and knowledge to help. The sooner one deals with this the better and the sooner, as one long term alcoholic described it, the sooner one will be released from “living in the madness”

There can be many reasons why one may use alcohol but it is almost always to divert one’s attention from issues that at some point will need addressing. With the right help one can start to put one’s life back together and learn the skills that will make the difference between fulfillment and pleasure in life or a steady descent into “the madness”.

If you feel you may be “Living in the Madness” and would like to know more about how I help clients with addictions I will be pleased to discuss this with you. I offer powerful tools, strategies and techniques that have helped many of my clients completely rebuild their self belief, confidence and their lives. Please call or email and I will tell you how I can help you.