Who is the most important person in your life?

Important Person

Many clients who come to see me for help with confidence have often forgotten about the most important person in their lives. For instance, carers, parents, and people working in the caring professions are so often doing so much amazing work supporting everyone around them that it’s easy to forget about themselves. When they come to see me they may be looking for more confidence, to experience less stress, and to be able to deal with whatever other issues they have in their lives.

Often our default thinking is that we must unrelentingly give all our energy to everyone else leaving us feeling empty and passed by. However, for so many years we have been mainly focusing so much on other people that we have forgotten to think about the most important person in the equation – ourselves.

To think that you are the most important person often contradicts the messages we give ourselves and the messages we have picked up over the years in our daily lives.

But the message is that you are the most important person in your world. Now this has nothing to do with arrogance or trying to be one up and cleverer than anyone else. It’s all about every one of us being the best person we can be.

We are all unique but holding ourselves back from being our best self does us no favours. This is not about becoming the CEO of a multi-billion corporation it’s about about loving and accepting our own skills and our own unique knowledge and wisdom.

So in your mind just “Step Into” the Real, Authentic, Best, and Brilliant You, and just for a moment feel how good that feels. How much you really deserve to be that person. Feel how that really engages you with positive connection and healthy pleasure and energy for yourself and everyone around you.

The more you enjoy it the more everyone around you will enjoy it.

This is your secret to take with you

They won’t consciously know what it is but they will feel good as well

To discover more of the techniques and strategies I offer my clients online and in my office to help empower themselves on a daily basis please call or email and I will be very happy to help.

How long will it take for body and mind to heal?

Heal body and mind

Understandably we are all looking for ways that we can make change as quickly and effectively as possible. Unfortunately, that inner need to get “instant results” can often be the one thing that slows or even blocks us from achieving the best outcomes and experiences we are looking for.

This is linked with our nervous system’s need to feel safe and whole quickly, and get body and mind back on track and healing.

However, the very thought of us “trying” to relax and “trying” to heal sets up exactly the opposite outcome to the one we are hoping for. This is the sort of thinking pattern that will unconsciously set up resistance, doubt, and worry in the mind placing us back in the very mindset that blocks our healing connections. Then the ventral vagus nerve senses pressure and doubt putting us back into a “not safe” state thereby generating more “fight and flight” experiences.

With hypnosis, we’ve all seen stage hypnotists on television and elsewhere “instantly” putting someone in a hypnotic state just by telling them to sleep!

Now we may expect the same experience in a hypnotherapy session but there is much more to healing body and mind than one trigger word. We all respond differently and although many clients will be able to easily and rapidly drift into a pleasant state of relaxation there will be background material to take into account.

For my clients, I use a variety of techniques including Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, and Eye Movement Sequencing to help generate the appropriate trance for each individual. In my view, we are all in different states of trance at different times of the day and the trick is having the tools for each of us to generate better and more appropriate experiences in any situation.

To master these changes to our thinking and dealing with issues we will need time to put our new skills into practise. Although results are usually very rapid we still need to practise and fine-tune our new ways of being, thinking, and feeling. Adding a strict time frame on top of our already stressed body, mind and psyche will only serve to slow down and even unconsciously block progress.

y advice to clients is to give yourself “All the Time in the World” as you make the changes you are looking for.

Then how pleasantly surprised you can be to discover that the results you are looking for some quicker than you expected.

Why you can’t clear your old traumas and how you can!

Clear Your Old Traumas

So you would like to do some work on life traumas that have blighted your past, release them and get back to enjoying your life in the ways you would like to.

But when you think about it you realize that you probably can’t remember all the traumas you have experienced. And then you realize that maybe there were traumas that you didn’t at the time realize were traumas. And what about that week you were in hospital when you were 3 years old, that must have been traumatic. And come to think of it so must have getting born been traumatic! But you can’t remember it, can you?

And what about the traumas that are carried through our family’s DNA and passed on to us through grandparents’ and parents DNA? We’re not blaming anyone because that is how it works but now we have traumas you know about, traumas you don’t remember, traumas you didn’t know were traumas and traumas that were passed down through the generations in the family DNA. And we are only just scratching the surface!

One paragraph and it is becoming clear that this is a much bigger job than we could ever have imagined!

And by now you might be thinking perhaps I will have to spend five years on the psychotherapist’s couch discussing every detail of my life and trying to release everything I don’t even know about!

Now there is nothing wrong with the psychotherapist’s couch but you might also be thinking (apart from the time and cost) “I really don’t want to speak about all these past traumatic events, it will be much and too uncomfortable to relive them again”. Fortunately there is a part of you that knows all about the traumas you know about, the traumas you don’t know about, the ones you didn’t know were traumas and the ones that you could never know about.

That part of you is your unconscious creative mind. So why not find out how you can let that part of you do the work while you get on with your everyday life.

Clients come to see me regularly with unresolved trauma and it is important that they can help clear it and move into a physical and emotional place they really feel they deserve to be in.

A first session would usually begin with some trauma clearing using pleasant relaxation, hypnosis, and easy eye movements. Sounds strange but is in fact very simple. And a big part of the message is to let the client’s unconscious continue to work on releasing past issues while they get on with their everyday lives. The unconscious creative is the part that knows what to do and how to do it safely, effectively, and simply.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is also a very powerful and non-intrusive technique that I regularly use to help clients release any negative energy around past issues without having to dredge deeply into everything about their past.

Once negative past issues begin to slip safely into the background we are then free to put into place the changes that bring us confidence, self-worth, and pleasure in all aspects of our lives.

Want to be happy? You need to know about these brain chemicals

Want to be happy

The 4 brain chemicals that will help you feel happy.

To have a “feel good experience” we need to trigger our “feel good” brain chemicals. Being able to recognise them when triggered within our body helps us develop and strengthen them, encouraging the good feelings we would like to experience in our lives.

The four main happy brain chemicals are Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. These are all working in connection with each other but one or two will be taking the lead depending on what we are experiencing at the time.

Dopamine helps us move forward in life and “climb to the top of the tree”. It is the brain chemical that helps push us forward to reach the best fruit at the top of the tree. Otherwise, we could be left sitting at the bottom of the tree looking for leftovers.

The actual climb to the top is what triggers dopamine helping push us onward and upwards toward our goals. When you experience a feeling of pride and satisfaction whether it is winning an Olympic medal or finishing constructing a piece of flat-pack furniture you will be enjoying the pleasant and satisfying hit of dopamine you have just built up.

However, it is very important we actually “earn” our dopamine. Addictions and bad habits such as gambling and drugs can also trigger dopamine, dopamine that we haven’t actually “earned”. This in time leads to stress and disappointment triggering our unhappy chemicals such as Cortisol.

Oytocin is called the “love” or “cuddle chemical”. This helps trigger the safe and relaxed pathways in your body and mind and is connected with the vagus nerve. As you generate more oxytocin in your physical body this will help you feel calmer and more comfortable with yourself, others, and your life.

For more information please email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call +44 (0)7970218451

Letting go of anger

Anger

Most of us have heard of Fight, Flight, or Freeze. This is our primal response that automatically kicks in whenever we sense danger. This part of our autonomic (automatic) nervous system will always strive to keep us safe if we feel threatened in any situation. It’s job is to keep us alive and to respond, immediately bypassing our thinking mind and filling the body with adrenaline and cortisol.

When we are angry we are not in logical control of our own thoughts and feelings and have been literally “taken over” by our fight instinct which will do (and say) anything to prevent us from being overwhelmed by a “deadly enemy”.

Of course, it is unlikely that we are actually being overwhelmed by a deadly enemy if we are just angry that no none has done the washing up or we have lost our own car keys!

Anger is an extremely damaging habit not only for the recipients of one’s anger but for the person dealing it out. So it is of prime importance that we take steps to control our anger or it will be detrimentally affecting our life and everyone around us. It must be curbed and quietened before it is too late. Once again the vagus nerve holds the key to keeping us from tipping over to boiling point on a regular basis.

However, the big problem is that as much as we wish to remain cool and relaxed this is not possible because in Fight or Flight, the only job our brain and nervous system has is to “keep us alive”! Unfortunately, we can’t be in two places at once so the only chance we have is to move into our ventral vagus place of safety if we are to heal physically and emotionally.

What we need are the best mental tools that help us construct simple changes that strengthen our connection with relaxation, calm, and safety. This is in fact our safe place.

Using hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, and Eye Movement Sequencing I have built a series of simple yet extremely effective ways that help clients train their own minds and physiology to achieve rapid and lasting results.. This not only helps resolve old behavior patterns but also builds powerful positive change with everyone they communicate with. When this happens the quality of improvement in everyone’s lives becomes enormous

For more information or to book an online or face-to-face appointment please visit my website www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk Email or call:+44(0)7970218451

rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

What is an ACE score and what it can tell you about your health and stress levels

Health and stress levels

A.C.E. stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences and is used as a guide to the chances of developing a chronic disease or mental disorder later in life.

Growing up one may have experienced psychological or physical trauma in the family or elsewhere but there are also traumas such as hospital visits, accidents, operations, and losing a loved one that could also be triggering psychological or physical distress long after the event.

This could lead to a reliance on alcohol or drugs to manage the emotional pain and anxiety.

The problem is that the fight or flight mechanism will have been switched on permanently and is looking out for danger virtually 24 hours a day.

Methods and strategies such as Hypnosis, Meditation, Eye Movement Sequencing, and Emotional Freedom Technique can literally help clients “Feel Safe” again. They are very effective in helping relieve stress whilst quietening intrusive thoughts and feelings. This allows the vagus nerve to effectively continue the healing process.

One problem is that, understandably, clients may feel uncomfortable talking through past emotional traumas. It can be so deeply imprinted in the psyche that just thinking of distressing past events can feel as if we are reliving them.

However, by using Eye Movement Therapy, Hypnotherapy, and EFT I have found it is actually possible to gain a level of relaxation that safely allows the unconscious to do a lot of the work for us.

For more information please email me at rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call +447970218451 and I will be very happy to help you.

Trauma Release and how this method could help you

trauma

It’s tough going through life when past traumas still follow us around

Recently, one of my clients, on her second session said to me “It really was huge not having to revisit those old issues again”

The way to clear trauma and stress is often seen as deeply discussing every incident and issue whilst forensically picking one’s way through each experience from the past.

Now this can be one way of looking for the truth and finding answers but for me the question is, do we really need to continually revisit past traumas to achieve the mental freedom we are looking for? In therapy that method may work for some, but not for all.

To achieve what we are we are looking for we don’t necessarily have to relive the trauma and worries locked in the recesses of our unconscious mind. What’s more we would only be working on the tip of the iceberg.

Often I will work with clients who have told me nothing about their issue but who, after a few sessions will leave extremely happy with their outcome. If clients wish to talk about how they feel about their issues that is perfectly natural and an important part of the session but continually going over things can leave us reliving the old experiences on a never ending loop.

The secret is to show clients how they can use their unconscious to clear their past issues. Once they have connected with their creative unconscious mind that part will be able to continue the healing process whilst leaving the client free to enjoy their everyday lives.

So, in a nutshell our unconscious already knows all about our traumas, disappointments and worries from the past.

We could spend 5 years on the psychotherapist’s couch talking about our past traumas but we would only ever be able to scratch the tip of the iceberg.

Remember, there are traumas we know about, traumas we didn’t think were traumas and traumas we will never consciously know about. Getting born was traumatic but I don’t remember anything about it. Do you?

I help clients resolve these issues by using an empowering mix of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Eye Movement Sequencing that engages the creative unconscious mind. This way the work can be done on an unconscious level while helping my clients happily continue enjoying everyday lives.

And it’s nice to know that another part of us knows how to do this for us, isn’t it.

Chronic Pain and how you can relieve it

Chronic Pain

Chronic pain can be a really debilitating experience affecting virtually every part of our life. The constant background distress distracts our awareness from anything else around us and can leave us totally focused on our discomfort.

Of course, it is of primary importance that initially any pain in the body should be referred to a medical practitioner and/or a skilled professional bodywork therapist.

However, it is not unusual, even when scans and medical interventions have taken place, that the pain will not go away. This may be a body-brain loop that has become stuck and keeps repeating. This repeating signal may continue to automatically sequence between the neurons in the body and brain, strengthening its own circular message. Everything is becoming more highly sensitised and we were hoping for desensitisation.

It is not unusual for a client to come into my office and tell me that scans and doctor’s visits have revealed nothing physically out of order but IT STILL HURTS!

To help clients with this type of issue I will begin with hypnosis to help relax the body and mind. This really can help release some of the mental and physical stress very effectively.

EFT “tapping” is also an invaluable technique helping clear the faulty over-sensitised messages connecting the neural pathways. Now our body and mind can begin to return to healing mode and help quieten this highly charged loop. Pain and distress triggers our Fight or Flight mechanism and then our only task is “to keep ourselves alive”.

Another very simple change to make is in our language. Using the word pain will invariably “grow” more pain. Our body is programmed to respond before our conscious awareness can kick in. This means that by using the word pain we are continuing unconsciously to strengthen this connection and, surprise, surprise, we get more pain. The aim is to quieten, and whenever safe and possible to disconnect this loop and give the body a chance to heal.

However I am not discounting the word pain but replacing it with a word such as discomfort we are sending a healthier healing message to body and mind. This takes some of the “sting” out of it and helps us get out of “Fight or Flight” and back into a state of healing.

Pain is usually there for a reason so is not to be ignored. However, if there is nothing physical to be found then it is worth checking whether this pain is actually a residual discomfort loop still circulating unchecked.

For more information or to book an online or face to face appointment please visit my website www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk

Email or call: 07970218451

rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Cigarettes. Health or Wealth?

Smoking Cigarette

Still, smoking? You may well have been thinking about it for a long time but just can’t bring yourself to make that change. However, now circumstances have overtaken most of us and we are having to look carefully at our finances. What better place to start than with cigarettes?

It’s interesting how we generally put our health behind our “need” to continue smoking but for most, there comes a time when we will be forced to make that choice – cigarettes and illness, or no cigarettes and healthier future life.

I used to smoke decades ago but now we all know better. Everyone used to smoke then but when my eldest son, who was just a toddler at the time walked up to me holding a full ashtray saying “dirty, dirty”. I immediately knew it really was time to stop, and I did.

No regrets, no worries it was a strong enough message to my conscious and unconscious and I knew I had no answer that would stand up to even a moment’s scrutiny. My eldest is now grown up. He’s a nonsmoker and I’ve had no interest whatsoever in even trying one throughout all these decades.

However 25 years ago when I began seeing clients to help them stop smoking it probably took a month or so to recoup the fee. Now, with inflation, you’ve probably already worked out that a £95 hypnotherapy session is a bit of a bargain. And if you smoke 20 a day you could recoup it in just 9 days! After that, it’s all profit and you could be saving up for your next holiday.

So far we’ve ignored the “elephant in the room” ( it’s OK it’s used to being ignored!) We haven’t talked about health. Well I remember a letter in a local newspaper when this gentleman talked about how his father was a heavy smoker. His father used to say to him “Son, I’d love to stop but I just can’t”.

Soon after that conversation he coughed up a little blood on his handkerchief and from that day on his father never touched a cigarette again.

You won’t leave it too late will you?

For more information just call 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

And I will be happy to help you

How to get rid of yips and performance nerves?

Sports Challenge

What do you need to know about the YIPS and PERFORMANCE NERVES plus how to get rid of them

FIGHT or FLIGHT or FREEZE is designed to keep us alive. It is a primitive part of our autonomic nervous system and this means that whenever there is a sense of danger or even just worry, this system will in fact respond as if we are in a LIFE or DEATH situation.

Immediately your brain’s only job is to keep you alive and all it’s resources will be focused on that one outcome. This means that your body’s healing mode is switched off and your “modern” thinking brain is no longer able to operate rationally. You have now lost access to your fine motor functions and clear cognitive thinking

Also, in “shutdown” your body and brain are preserving oxygen. So there is not enough dopamine to turn the “freeze” state off and your focus and clarity back on.

This is why it becomes virtually impossible to instantly switch back to your clear thinking relaxed state.

So, to help gain more control of our autonomic (automatic) nervous system the most important place to start is with BREATHING.

Using the best diaphragm breathing techniques will lay a foundation whereby you can, as rapidly as possible re-engage your dopamine and other body chemicals. Now you can help reconnect the higher communication centres which have the blueprint of all the tens of thousands of hours of practise you have put into your skills.

Te next step in my work with Golfers, Tennis players, Darts, Snooker players, Musicians etc. is opening and expanding our vision pathways and learning to control our autonomic nervous system on an everyday basis.

Using simple acupressure points and mental programmes we will be able to find and relax the physical and mental, body and mind stress points in a way you can begin to take with you into every competition, friendly game or performance you have.

An extra bonus is that no one will know you are using these techniques. But they will be very unlikely not to notice that everything about your performance is improving!

For more information on how I can help you play and perform to your highest standards just call or email and I will be happy to help.

These techniques and strategies will work equally effectively with

great results – online, face to face, professional or amateur.

www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk +44 7970218451 rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com