Category: Anger

Pain and feeling safe

There are 3 words I write at the top of virtually every client’s notes at the start of the first session.

“Am I Safe?”

Whatever anyone comes to see me for and whatever the issue it is nearly always governed by this question. This is why I generally start a session working not on the presenting issue but helping clients learn how to manage their own nervous system. Without that we have no foundation for body and mind to build a life experience that we will “feel safe” in.

If we can’t manage that part of our physiology then we will always unconsciously be looking out for danger as if we were in the jungle. As I mentioned in an earlier post that part of us (Fight or Flight) will always kick in if we need it. However when it is switched on permanently we are unable to heal. We need to be able to reach the parts of the body that need the “Stress Volume” turning down so we can reach that safe place of healing.

This also accounts for a lot of pain issues that doctors cannot find any cure for. The reason being that the brain can get caught in a loop “just in case” there is still danger waiting to “pounce out of the bushes” and attack us.

By organising our own nervous system to become more fluid and relaxed when appropriate (which should be most of the time) we can reach our healing part (the Ventral Vagus Nerve) and then body and mind can begin to recover.

A lot of pain goes unresolved because the brain has set up this fear response to protect us from danger and sometimes it can’t switch it off.

Of course not all pain is just in the brain and the well known American back surgeon Dr Sarno found that the scans of patients’ spines etc. often did not correlate to the amount of pain they were experiencing. So he began offering workshops on the different medical and psychological issues that pain could be presenting. He realised that stress and other factors could be causing the pain to continue. This meant that there came a point that the patient’s body was not responding to medication and drugs even though everything appeared to be healing successfully.

So if you have tried every possibility and have gained no lasting or positive relief from back pain and other issues such as CPRS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) there are other options available.

Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and Eye movement Sequencing are just a few of the techniques I have successfully used with all my clients over the years to help them change not just the mental programmes they have been locked into but also the body physical experiences. If you have tried all the traditional medical routes of healing without success it is entirely possible that you can learn how to organise and control your own autonomic nervous system physically and mentally thus helping yourself diminish and even remove the constant stress and pain that surrounds these life changing issues.

Want to be happy? You need to know about these brain chemicals

The 4 brain chemicals that will help you feel happy.

To have a “feel good experience” we need to trigger our “feel good” brain chemicals. Being able to recognise them when triggered within our body helps us develop and strengthen them, encouraging the good feelings we would like to experience in our lives.

The four main happy brain chemicals are Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. These are all working in connection with each other but one or two will be taking the lead depending on what we are experiencing at the time.

Dopamine helps us move forward in life and “climb to the top of the tree”. It is the brain chemical that helps push us forward to reach the best fruit at the top of the tree. Otherwise, we could be left sitting at the bottom of the tree looking for leftovers.

The actual climb to the top is what triggers dopamine helping push us onward and upwards toward our goals. When you experience a feeling of pride and satisfaction whether it is winning an Olympic medal or finishing constructing a piece of flat-pack furniture you will be enjoying the pleasant and satisfying hit of dopamine you have just built up.

However, it is very important we actually “earn” our dopamine. Addictions and bad habits such as gambling and drugs can also trigger dopamine, dopamine that we haven’t actually “earned”. This in time leads to stress and disappointment triggering our unhappy chemicals such as Cortisol.

Oytocin is called the “love” or “cuddle chemical”. This helps trigger the safe and relaxed pathways in your body and mind and is connected with the vagus nerve. As you generate more oxytocin in your physical body this will help you feel calmer and more comfortable with yourself, others, and your life.

For more information please email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call +44 (0)7970218451

Letting go of anger

Most of us have heard of Fight, Flight, or Freeze. This is our primal response that automatically kicks in whenever we sense danger. This part of our autonomic (automatic) nervous system will always strive to keep us safe if we feel threatened in any situation. It’s job is to keep us alive and to respond, immediately bypassing our thinking mind and filling the body with adrenaline and cortisol.

When we are angry we are not in logical control of our own thoughts and feelings and have been literally “taken over” by our fight instinct which will do (and say) anything to prevent us from being overwhelmed by a “deadly enemy”.

Of course, it is unlikely that we are actually being overwhelmed by a deadly enemy if we are just angry that no none has done the washing up or we have lost our own car keys!

Anger is an extremely damaging habit not only for the recipients of one’s anger but for the person dealing it out. So it is of prime importance that we take steps to control our anger or it will be detrimentally affecting our life and everyone around us. It must be curbed and quietened before it is too late. Once again the vagus nerve holds the key to keeping us from tipping over to boiling point on a regular basis.

However, the big problem is that as much as we wish to remain cool and relaxed this is not possible because in Fight or Flight, the only job our brain and nervous system has is to “keep us alive”! Unfortunately, we can’t be in two places at once so the only chance we have is to move into our ventral vagus place of safety if we are to heal physically and emotionally.

What we need are the best mental tools that help us construct simple changes that strengthen our connection with relaxation, calm, and safety. This is in fact our safe place.

Using hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, and Eye Movement Sequencing I have built a series of simple yet extremely effective ways that help clients train their own minds and physiology to achieve rapid and lasting results.. This not only helps resolve old behavior patterns but also builds powerful positive change with everyone they communicate with. When this happens the quality of improvement in everyone’s lives becomes enormous

For more information or to book an online or face-to-face appointment please visit my website www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk Email or call:+44(0)7970218451

rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

What is an ACE score and what it can tell you about your health and stress levels

A.C.E. stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences and is used as a guide to the chances of developing a chronic disease or mental disorder later in life.

Growing up one may have experienced psychological or physical trauma in the family or elsewhere but there are also traumas such as hospital visits, accidents, operations, and losing a loved one that could also be triggering psychological or physical distress long after the event.

This could lead to a reliance on alcohol or drugs to manage the emotional pain and anxiety.

The problem is that the fight or flight mechanism will have been switched on permanently and is looking out for danger virtually 24 hours a day.

Methods and strategies such as Hypnosis, Meditation, Eye Movement Sequencing, and Emotional Freedom Technique can literally help clients “Feel Safe” again. They are very effective in helping relieve stress whilst quietening intrusive thoughts and feelings. This allows the vagus nerve to effectively continue the healing process.

One problem is that, understandably, clients may feel uncomfortable talking through past emotional traumas. It can be so deeply imprinted in the psyche that just thinking of distressing past events can feel as if we are reliving them.

However, by using Eye Movement Therapy, Hypnotherapy, and EFT I have found it is actually possible to gain a level of relaxation that safely allows the unconscious to do a lot of the work for us.

For more information please email me at rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call +447970218451 and I will be very happy to help you.

Anger is stress for ourselves and everyone around us

Let’s make this simple. Anger is an unconscious sense of insecurity that we have probably learned from experiences when we were young and from life’s disappointments.

There are 3 words I write on virtually all my client’s notes at the start of the first session. “Am I Safe?”

In my experience, these three words cover virtually every difficult situation we have experienced in our lives whether it be anger, lack of confidence, addictions, performance stress, trauma, etc.

To protect us in uncomfortable situations our primal brain triggers fear sending body and mind into a fight-flight or freeze response. At that moment in time, our primal brain has just one job to do and that is to keep us alive. These automatic responses may be triggered by childhood events, disappointments growing up, lack of self-confidence, and any number of large and small traumas that we may have experienced throughout our lives.

However to give ourselves, and all those around us who will be affected by our behavior, some peace of mind, we must learn how to better control our own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. Trying to make everyone else dance to our tune will not cut it. This is all about working on ourselves.

Unconsciously we are all looking for control.

In the past, we may have felt insecure and desperately needed to control events in our lives. By hoping to control other people we also hoped we would feel safe. This gives us a hit of the brain chemical dopamine but that pleasure does not last long and only leaves us locked in a circuit of mental and physical stress affecting our own life and the lives of others around us.

Every week I am helping clients work positively on their our own nervous systems. This helps give them the opportunity to reclaim the experiences of safety and pleasure in their lives that we all need. Using simple and powerfully effective strategies and techniques you can do the same.

Please contact me on rogerfoxwell.therapy.co.uk or call 07970218451 and I will be very happy to help

Trauma Release and how this method could help you

It’s tough going through life when past traumas still follow us around

Recently, one of my clients, on her second session said to me “It really was huge not having to revisit those old issues again”

The way to clear trauma and stress is often seen as deeply discussing every incident and issue whilst forensically picking one’s way through each experience from the past.

Now this can be one way of looking for the truth and finding answers but for me the question is, do we really need to continually revisit past traumas to achieve the mental freedom we are looking for? In therapy that method may work for some, but not for all.

To achieve what we are we are looking for we don’t necessarily have to relive the trauma and worries locked in the recesses of our unconscious mind. What’s more we would only be working on the tip of the iceberg.

Often I will work with clients who have told me nothing about their issue but who, after a few sessions will leave extremely happy with their outcome. If clients wish to talk about how they feel about their issues that is perfectly natural and an important part of the session but continually going over things can leave us reliving the old experiences on a never ending loop.

The secret is to show clients how they can use their unconscious to clear their past issues. Once they have connected with their creative unconscious mind that part will be able to continue the healing process whilst leaving the client free to enjoy their everyday lives.

So, in a nutshell our unconscious already knows all about our traumas, disappointments and worries from the past.

We could spend 5 years on the psychotherapist’s couch talking about our past traumas but we would only ever be able to scratch the tip of the iceberg.

Remember, there are traumas we know about, traumas we didn’t think were traumas and traumas we will never consciously know about. Getting born was traumatic but I don’t remember anything about it. Do you?

I help clients resolve these issues by using an empowering mix of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Eye Movement Sequencing that engages the creative unconscious mind. This way the work can be done on an unconscious level while helping my clients happily continue enjoying everyday lives.

And it’s nice to know that another part of us knows how to do this for us, isn’t it.

Why chanting om is so powerful?

Why is “OM” so good for you and will it help release anxiety and worry? And does chanting OM create a supernatural experience and help you connect to your higher being or source?

And the answer is probably yes to both those questions.

Chanting “OM” helps improve sleep, releases stress and helps you feel calmer. It focuses your mind, it balances your emotions and helps generate a feeling of peace.

But for now, just in case you were thinking OM is some strange sound that people use when practising yoga let’s have a look at some of the scientific proof that helps explain why that simple sound can be so powerful.

The chant OM is often used at the beginning and end of a yoga session or meditation. One clue to it’s natural power is in the vibrations, vibrations that create a calmer and more relaxed body and mind. When we hum or sing we are creating vibrations in the body that help us engage our vagus nerve which connects with virtually all our organs. When the vagus nerve is operating healthily it helps our body and mind relax and heal.

Now, why not try singing OM and notice when you close your mouth at the “MMM” how clearly you can feel the vibrations. Not only will your singing generate these vibrations but that will also be generating nitric oxide which will be regulating the elasticity in your veins and smoothing the blood flow

Scientific studies have also shown that chanting OM also raises levels of concentration and focus.

There are in fact a lot more scientifically proven benefits physical and mental benefits to OM so why not hum a few OMs in your everyday life? Then you will start to notice how it is helping you relax a little more and how you can begin to feel less stressed.

It won’t take any time at all to do and the more regularly you do so the better the results.

For more information about Hypnotherapy, EFT and Eye movement therapy which I offer online and one to one please go to www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk

How does EFT tapping work?

Emotional Freedom Technique (“Tapping”) and the issues that connect each tapping point to the meridian lines in the body

Lets look at the tapping points for EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and some of the emotional issue each point is linked to.

Clients often ask me what issue each tapping point stands for and although it is not at all necessary to know it is interesting to have an idea of some of the emotional connections of each meridian point.

I originally trained in TFT (Thought Field Therapy devised by Dr Roger Callahan) which is the technique that EFT grew from (developed by Gary Craig). In TFT there are certain combinations of points one would tap on for each particular issue, whereas in EFT we tap around all the points in order whilst verbalising (out loud or to ourselves) how we are feeling about the issue we are working on.

This makes it easy to use at home since it is very simple to remember the sequence. So whether I am helping clients tap to release past issues, to feel confident at work or take a driving test the basic sequence is the same.

So starting with tapping on the “karate chop” point we have:

Side of hand Sadness. This is also a general point where we acknowledge how we feel and the issue we are working on

Inner eyebrow Trauma, Hurt Sadness

Outside of the eyebrow Rage Anger Frustration, Uneasiness

Under the eye Fear Anxiety Worry

Under the nose Shame Guilt Grief

Under the lip Confusion Embarrassment Uncertainty

Collarbone Worry Stuck Indecision

Under the arm Insecurity Obsession Self esteem

Top of the head Lack of focus, Ruminating

For more information about my work using EFT, Hypnosis, Eye movement therapy and techniques to help improve your life please visit www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Your brain may be 40,000 thousand years old but have you updated it yet?

Did you know that the modern shape of your brain may be 40,000 years old? OK, I don’t mean your particular brain but all our brains are working on “coding” that was developed to keep us safe in the jungle!

This means that in many daily situations your brain and mine will often choose the fastest route to “keep you safe” even though our more modern thinking brain (prefrontal cortex) is crying out that we should use more logical options.

An important part of my work is developing simple ways my clients can take some control over their own autonomic (automatic) nervous system. This helps us make better and healthier decisions, helps us have better relationships with ourselves and the world around us and helps us feel safer and more supported in our own lives.

So here is something you can do whenever you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with thoughts and worries that you would like at least to quieten down in your own mind.

Just imagine how you might react if someone is talking absolute nonsense about something that you know is not true. You might not want to offend them but you would more than likely raise your eyes to the ceiling wouldn’t you? These eye movements instantly make powerful changes in the brain that help engage our logical thinking cortex.

Now why not do the same for thoughts that are not supporting you. Remember, in the jungle we need to be able to make a very quick exit if a predator is about to attack us. That protective part of the brain is programmed to instantly “kick in” if we are in danger. Unfortunately the old system is in effect still using the original software in all situations. It does not distinguish between a mild irritation or a life threatening situation.

So, any time you find yourself getting into a spiral of needless worry just rapidly move your eyes towards your forehead in just the same way. This is taking you out of your primal mind and into your rational mind.

Two or three strong upward looks toward the forehead will begin to dislodge the old pattern that previously put you into “fight or flight” mode every time you thought about it. With those three upward looking glances we are triggering ourselves into a different part of our nervous system and connecting to the “new” part of the brain.

Have a bit of fun with this as you continue to help reprogramme your “unconscious thinking cues” into a different and healthier set of responses.

You will find more information on my work as a Hypnotherapist, NLP and EFT practitioner at www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk and also please do explore my channel on YouTube

Need help? Wedding speech, business presentation, speech etc. – Hypnosis can help

Public speaking is well up amongst the top 20 in the list of common phobias. Whether it is giving a wedding speech, a business presentation at the office or to a group, anything that puts us in the spotlight can easily and instantly trigger our autonomic nervous system into fight and flight.

This response originates from the primal part of our brain and is there to save us from predators and danger when we are in the jungle. Well, we are not in the jungle now but we are in a different sort of jungle. In the actual jungle we need a system that will respond immediately and help us get to safety very quickly. The problem is, in modern life we rarely need it to operate this way.

This is a very powerful part of our autonomic nervous system and easily overpowers our logical thinking with adrenaline and cortisol. But all we want to do is deliver our speech or presentation in a calm, comfortable and easy manner? You would think it should be easy wouldn’t you?

But if we suffer from raised heartbeat, sweaty palms and weeks of worry before an event what options are there to help us?

Hypnotherapy is a powerful and favorite method that has for years, helped countless people through the ordeal of standing up in public and delivering a speech or presentation.

Our autonomic nervous system is actually designed to generate the uncomfortable responses automatically so we have time to run to safety. However using hypnosis is one of the ways we can actually begin to control this part of the system.

Using deep and comfortable relaxation while engaging the creative side of our brain helps bring more control to the logical and technical sides of our thinking. Calming the adrenaline rush and bringing down cortisol levels frees the brain to operate and perform comfortably with confidence and enjoyment. Hypnosis also helps us pinpoint any past experiences that may have contributed to how we have been responding. It also helps release these negative experiences from our system.

If you would like to know more about Hypnosis, EFT and Eye Movement Therapy and how it could help you please go to www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk or email me at rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com