Addiction and the reality of addiction

People can become addicted to a wide range of substances and behaviors and these substances and behaviors are often things that most of us partake in on a daily basis. They may be drinking, gambling, sex or drugs and although the majority of us don’t engage in class A drug even food, sugar, prescription drugs are all substances that one can become addicted to in an unhealthy way.

There is plenty of debate around whether addiction is a mental illness or a “brain disease” and it is interesting to note that people can often readily switch from one addiction to another. At AA many in the group may well have switched their addiction from drinking alcohol to smoking and drinking copious amounts of coffee. A shopping addict may turn to gambling. It is not necessarily the particular substance or behavior that is important. Getting the hit is the prize.

In fact an addict is always chasing the experience of their first hit, that almost primal experience that took them out of themselves and the reality of the world they found it hard to be part of. Of course the first hit will never be repeated for intensity and experience so looking to repeat it only continues the cycle.

I work with eating disorders, gambling, prescription drug taking etc. and many of my clients have “done the rounds” of therapies talking about their experiences and being talked to about how to change their lives. However sometimes things can better be “said without saying” which is why I thought it worth posting this video.

Please watch this short video if you or someone you know could be suffering from an addiction

The answers are not in the drug of choice but in our own feelings of self worth and value. Addressing these issues is the first step to freedom from the nightmare of addiction.

 

Are we healing or just “fighting a good fight”

Should we “fight” an illness or heal it?

 

These days we regularly hear phrases such as we will “beat this illness or must “battle” against it. On the surface this fighting talk can sound very positive and help demonstrate that we are not just going to lie down and let ourselves be walked over whatever the odds. This in itself may be no bad thing but are there other unforeseen consequences to using this sort of terminology. A recent study at the University of Lancaster found that using “war metaphors” in the “fight” against cancer may not always be as helpful as it might appear.

How often do we hear that someone has” lost their battle” against a serious illness. This type of terminology is glibly used by media, pundits and experts but does it help the person suffering and does it help people recover or prolong their lives? In fact although these battling terms may be helpful for charities to raise money interestingly Macmillan Cancer Support has consciously held back from this sort of terminology. According to researcher Elena Semino professor of linguistics and verbal art at Lancaster University it is best left to the individual to choose their own metaphors to help them with their illness. It was also found that when battle terminology is applied patients may begin to feel a sense of responsibility if their condition deteriorates.

When we are ill what are we looking for? Health.

Whether one is suffering from an emotional or physical illness are we not looking for good health? And the first four letters of health are HEAL. By healing we are truly mobilising the resources of body and mind in a way that makes so much more sense. If we are in a “struggle” to lose weight implicitly we are in a struggle with ourselves. If we are “fighting” a life threatening disease then we could find ourselves fighting our own body! Will we really be able to muster the energy to “battle” with depression when one’s internal resources seem to be so low?

Anyone who has studied and qualified as a hypnotherapist, counsellor or psychotherapist will have been trained in the use of language and the importance of the words chosen and how how best to use them. Hypnosis uses it’s own particular language patterns and these patterns are designed to bypass the conscious mind and communicate with the unconscious mind. Without this we would have to rely on conscious communication to make a change and as we have all experienced at some time or other the conscious mind knows what we “should” be doing but does not always have the tools to make the required changes. Smokers may know that they want to quit but telling oneself is one thing and doing it is another just as telling ourselves to eat healthy food does not always make it happen.

We are using words constantly when communicating with others and when talking internally to ourselves. But are we really aware of what the message might be that is often hidden behind our thoughts and internal conversation and the effect it is creating? I see healing as the focus to bring together the natural resources of mind and body for real and meaningful change. However using such terms as fight, beat, and struggle could just be setting up an internal conflict that will block the results we are looking for.

For more information on how Hypnotherapy, EFT and NLP could help you please call or email and I will be happy to help.

Worry, Anxiety and Stress – the facts and figures

Can you stop yourself worrying?

As Mark Twain said in his famous quote “I have known a great many troubles in my life but most of them have never happened”

Many of us spend a lot of our lives worrying about things that seem at the time very important. And yet however overwhelmed we feel by these worries we are “still here at the end of the day to tell the tale.” This is not to say that there are not things in life that we may describe as legitimate worries. But the interesting thing is that when we really have something important to worry about we are often suddenly able to galvanise ourselves into action and deal with the situation in a way that it is hard to imagine possible with minor issues.

So what are the figures when it comes to categorising the quality of worry in our lives? It makes interesting reading.

40% Never happens
30% Has already happened
22% Needless worries
8% Actually happens

Of the last 8% –
4% We have some control over
4% Beyond our control

Putting it into perspective such as this can be a valuable way to help rationalise our responses and manage or defuse them.

However if you think you still need some tools and techniques that will really help you get on with your life there are two tools that I have found to be among the best to help release the demon of constant stress, worry and anxiety about things.

Hypnotherapy and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

Why do I think Hypnosis and EFT are so good at helping us make change? Because they speak to the unconscious mind, the part of us that does not have the reasoning powers of the conscious mind but the part that generates change from the creative part of the mind. Most smokers would know logically they should stop like most of us know how to lose a few pounds if we want to lose weight but the conscious mind deals in logic and the bridge to logic and making a change is much harder to cross than the creative bridge from our unconscious. We may consciously know every step we should take but taking those steps is another matter. Harnessing the power of our creative unconscious can really clear the way to making amazing changes in our lives.

If you would like to know more about the techniques I use and how my experience has given me the opportunity to develop strategies that are practical yet amazingly effective to help relieve that uncomfortable “background noise” that is worry just call or email and I will be very happy to chat with you.

Anxiety, Hypnosis and 3 magic words that can really help you

Anxiety. Hypnosis, EFT, NLP can help anxiety issues

Most of us will have had some experience of anxiety at some point in our lives and that is perfectly normal. Meeting new people, a visit to the dentist or getting prepared for a holiday are just a few example of the type of everyday experiences that may make us feel a bit tense at times. However if anxiety starts to become a constant in our lives that is the time when it is important to address the issues and put into place ways of dealing with it.

In my work I help clients with a large number of issues and have at my disposal a wide range of techniques that I can use depending on the client and their situation. Hypnosis, NLP, EFT and EMDR, are  therapies that are very powerful and can be rapidly effective at helping release conscious and unconscious issues that may be contributing to the discomfort a client may be feeling in their everyday lives. In fact what I really like about using these and the other modalities is that I rarely have to go back into great detail about problems from people’s past that they may wish not to delve into too deeply or often cannot even remember consciously.

Now it can be very valuable to help release the past events or experiences that have contributed to distressing feelings but I have developed strategies that I feel are equally important that clients can use on a daily basis wherever they are and at any given moment in time. Life is naturally constantly “happening” to us and we do not know what we are going to experience or how we are going to feel until we are experiencing in and experiencing a situation. If we have no tools to make adjustments on a moment by moment basis we are missing powerful opportunities to help adjust our moment by moment responses in a positive way. To me the constant effect of the underlying rumble of negative and mildly uncomfortable feelings we experience a day by day often barely in our conscious awareness are just as important to address as the larger issues.

One of my favorite techniques consists of three one syllable words -“Let That Go”. It may seem very simple, and it is, which is the beauty of it, However my clients find that by being able to use this phrase whenever a negative feeling or anxiety occurs it simply helps diminish the uncomfortable emotions which can continue to build up almost in a stealth like way. I feel that having tools to address situations at any
time and in any place are as vitally important as the therapy work done in my office.

It is important to get professional help for an anxiety disorder if you notice it is beginning to diminish the pleasure in your life. Using hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) with an experienced practitioner is in my opinion one of the most effective ways to get oneself back to feeling so much better. If left too long generalized anxiety symptoms can begin to develop into anxiety attacks or panic attacks.

So, if any time you have even a mildly negative experience remember that everything counts and saying “Let That Go” to oneself means that you can start to have more control in how you feel. No one else knows what you are saying and there is no need to wonder if it worked or how different you feel because the positive effects are cumulative and it can be surprising how soon you might start to notice yourself feeling that bit better each day. For me it is a tool for life and I hope you enjoy using it.

For more information on the work I do and how I could help you just call 07970218451 or roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk me and I will be very happy to help.

Hypnotist? Yes, that’s you!

Find out how good a hypnotist you are

Are you familiar with the phrase “post hypnotic suggestion” or “Deep Trance Phenomena”? To a trained hypnotherapist these are hypnosis definitions learnt early on in one’s training but the interesting thing is that you don’t have to be a hypnotist to use them. In fact you might find it very difficult to get through your daily life without accessing either and both of them.

Deep Trance Phenomena describes a variety of states a hypnotist will use or recognise to help a client achieve certain results that they are looking for. Some of the states of DTP could include going back or forward in time (age regression or age progression), time distortion (an experience of speeding up or slowing down of time), or negative hallucination. Now although the terminology may sound quite complex or even a bit weird the experiences are in fact everyday ones that we unconsciously slip in and out of all through the day.

Think of a holiday you enjoyed. Age regression. Think of how slow time can go when you are waiting for something or how quickly when you are engrossed in doing something. Time distortion. And how many times have you looked for something only to find it right in front of you! A negative hallucination. They are happening all the time and we don’t even notice them.

So in fact we are already very experienced at producing these phenomena every day. And what about a post hypnotic suggestion? Well if a hypnotist tells someone in trance that they will be feeling better and better each day it is very likely that as long as the session has covered all the important issues, that person will, without necessarily knowing consciously why, begin to notice an improvement in their well being on a daily basis.

Now what I am getting to here is that it may be very pleasant to be able to have installed the message that you will feel much better every day but have you actually taken any notice of the negative suggestions you may be giving yourself daily. You see, a post hypnotic suggestion is a suggestion that bypasses the conscious mind whilst we are in a hypnotic state, and since we are in fact spending a great deal of our time in some sort of trance or other our self talk can very easily become a post hypnotic suggestion and bypass our conscious radar.

So next time you find yourself saying such things as “I’m no good at that”, “things always seem to go wrong”, “people don’t seem to like me” or similar, (the list is endless!) be aware that you could well be planting the seed of all the experiences you don’t want because you will have given yourself a posthypnotic suggestion. See how good a hypnotist you are!!

If you would like to find out how you can reprogramme your self talk, your inner thoughts, and in fact your whole life in an amazing, positive and fulfilling way do give me a call (07970218451) or Email Roger.   To see all services on the website, please click here.

Health Anxiety

Do you suffer from health anxiety?

Do these worries take up a lot of your mental time and energy each day?

Do they affect your work and concentration?

Are you constantly checking your health and cross referencing symptoms on the internet? (Often the more we look the more likely we are to find something that to a non medical professional will appear to match our symptoms. This may then verify in our mind that we definitely must be suffering from this particular illness. In fact people with a health anxiety problem may well imagine that the very anxieties they are experiencing are proof that they have some form of serious illness!

Most of us will naturally worry about our health from time to time and having an awareness and interest in one’s health is a good habit. Unfortunately some people have an over exaggerated tendency worry about their health and once fixated on this ican become all consuming. If one has a tendency to worry a lot then health issues may well be an area that the mind fixates on. Persistent health anxieties can often be linked to OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and obsessional thinking may well be part of the overall picture.

Getting a check-up from a medical practitioner is never something to avoid if we have genuine concern for our health but finding that your life is being taken over with constant unsubstantiated health worries is another issue. Some people with health anxiety will find themselves looking constantly for reassurance from their doctor or talking it through with friends. Others will actually avoid going to see a medical professional for fear of getting their “illness” ratified and so will spend their time in constant fear, worry and pursuing their own “medical research”. Thus, what may have started as a minor worry can soon escalate into paranoia taking over one’s life often to the detriment of personal relationships and career.

A health anxiety issue may come from such sources such as illness as a child, a family member suffering from a serious illness or a family member who has constant anxiety around their health.

I regularly work with clients who are struggling with this issue which may also be linked to depression or an anxiety disorder. I use hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) as the main strategies for healthy change when working with clients with health anxieties. In my practice I find them to be excellent tools to help alleviate the stress and anxieties that go along with this issue helping to bring about a more measured and rational approach to day to day health.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article, if you would like to make an appointment please visit the website. Alternatively, please send an Email

To discuss my services in the first instance, please call 07970218451 and I will be happy to discuss how I could help you.

Always seek advice from a qualified medical practitioner first.

Case study using Hypnosis and EFT for Bulimia

Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia can be very difficult to treat and many people suffering in this area may never fully recover control over the problem. There are many different reasons and conjectures about the causes of an eating disorder so it is important that medical advice is taken since they are not just injurious to a person’s health but can be fatal.

Treatment can for eating disorders can be ongoing for months or years without a satisfactory outcome leaving family and sufferer in a very difficult place. However I have worked with very good results with a number of eating disorder clients and below is a case study of a recent client who came to me with bulimia.

(Names and some incidents are altered to protect client anonymity)

Ann, a young lady in her late twenties came to see me after having suffered from an unhealthy preoccupation with her eating habits since she was a young girl. She had always been on and off diets and had resorted to binge eating and then vomiting to control her weight. She was feeling helpless with the situation and although she held down a responsible job her self confidence and self belief was dipping lower and lower .

In our first session I took notes and information about how long this had been an issue and information about her past background and experiences although I always let my clients reveal whatever past issues they may have had in their own time. In fact they may not even remember some of this information consciously and if they do not wish to discuss certain things then that is fine and we can still work without that information.

Ann had the internal message that she had “always been big” and this to me is the sort of phrase that tells me a lot about where an issue is coming from. Our speech patterns and the phrases we use will give us plenty of clues about where to look and how to resolve the underlying issues once we are attuned to them.

In a situation such as this there are two important elements, one is releasing any past trauma physical or emotional around the issue and two, building a client’s confidence. One of the techniques I use is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which I think is a wonderful tool that can truly help clear past issues very rapidly and instil confidence sometimes with almost miraculous speed. And not only can we work with it in the sessions but the client can take the technique with them and use it on a n everyday basis themselves to help continue the work between sessions. This not only speeds up the process but involves the client in the process giving them control that they may well have felt unable to access previously.

After the first session Ann returned two weeks later to report that things had been much better and that the tools I had given her had really helped her take control whenever she had any of these urges to binge. However she had experienced a relapse for three days but using the techniques she had got herself back on track again. In this second session I started helping her develop her confidence and self belief and the next time we met she had not binged at all and said she felt normal and much more relaxed. We then scheduled another appointment although due to other commitments she could not come back for a month. At this stage I would have preferred to see her a little sooner but that was not possible. However I always let clients know that they can email or call me if they are experiencing any issues between sessions. This is important since I would rather they do not loose time getting stuck when they can continue building on the changes they are already making.

When Ann came back to see me four weeks later I could immediately see in her a much happier and grounded person than the one that had walked in just four sessions previously. She had applied for a new job so for our final session we discussed how she was feeling about things went over anything that needed any “tidying up” and then worked on simple but powerful ways she could take this new found confidence into the job interview and also continue to develop it in her everyday life.

Ann emailed me a month later to say that she had got the job and was feeling really good and much happier than before. This may seem a simple process and in many ways it was although every person I see has a different story and a different history. For me there is no set routine but rather an understanding that every one who walks into my office is an individual with their own personal needs and desires. Starting from that place I can use hypnosis, NLP, or EFT and my own unique techniques in a way that will offer individual opportunities for personal change whatever the issue.

If you would like to discuss further how I can help you, or someone close to you who has an eating disorder please call 07970218451 or email roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk and I will be happy to discuss any aspect of this or any other issue with you.

 

Does lack of self belief undermine your confidence?

Imposter syndrome and Fraud syndrome

Do you feel that you are promoted beyond your capabilities and will soon be “found out”? Perhaps despite achieving top marks at University and securing a good position at work you are afraid that someone will expose you as a fraud! Perhaps you did not go to University and feel yourself lacking just because you don’t have that qualification even though you are very good at your job?

Imposter syndrome or Fraud syndrome is not a psychologically categorised issue but nevertheless affects many people even when they are performing well and achieving top promotions in their careers. However much positive evidence is available confirming their ability and competence there always remains a nagging doubt that they will soon be “discovered” for the fraud that they think they are. The mirror image of imposter syndrome is the Dunnuing-Kruger effect whereby incompetent people remain convinced of their own competence.

To anyone who feels comfortable and competent in their own field of expertise this can seem difficult to understand but for a sufferer even offhand comments and looks in the workplace can appear to be confirmation of one’s perceived inadequacies and lack of qualifications in an area where they most probably excel.

If you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome you may:

  • Be afraid people will “find you out” and see through you
  • Take normal advice or criticism to heart
  • Worry that praise and encouragement from others is misplaced or just being said to help you feel better
  • Think everyone else is better qualified than you.

 

Of course friends and colleagues will most likely continue to say that this type of thinking is nonsense and try to help with encouraging words and advice. But however well meaning this may be unfortunately the “imposter” will find little solace in their words since they “know” for sure it is only a matter of time before they will get found out. Have you tried saying to yourself “Don’t think that” “Stop worrying about it” or “Forget it”? You might just as well say “Don’t think of a pink elephant”!This sort of self talk rarely works and especially so in this sort of case.

I have a phrase that I often ask clients to say to themselves whenever negative self talk is taking over the mind. Telling oneself to stop thinking this way rarely works since the message will be filtered through the frontal cortex of the rational logical mind which usually rejects it. However I have found that when we say the phrase “That thought is not available” it is a great way to divert the message past this part of the mind and straight to the unconscious creative mind. Because these words make no logical sense to our analytical thinking the phrase bypasses the conscious process.

Obviously there is work to be done in releasing past conditioning and blocks that prevent positive and realistic assessment of one’s talent. In my therapy practice I find a combination of hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to be powerful ways to help my clients release past blocks and issues in a rapid, comfortable and empowering way.

In the words of Marianne Williamson from her book “Return to Love” “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
To find out more about how Hypnotherapy, EFT, and NLP can massively help your confidence and self belief in this and other areas of your life just call 07970218451 or email roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk and I will be happy to help you.

 

 

3 Important Things you can do to help change your life positively for ever.

 Want to make a start and change your life?

1/ Love yourself

Most of us know how to love our family and friends, partners and children but have we ever thought about loving ourselves?  On an aeroplane the rule in an emergency is for parents with children to  first put their own oxygen mask on before they help their child. If the parent is unable to breathe how can they help their children? Loving ourselves in a healthy way is the oxygen that feeds us and helps us and every one around us flourish and grow. Unfortunately we may have been taught to think that “loving ourselves” is arrogant or big headed but far from it. To love and accept yourself can free you to truly be the person you want to be.

“Brilliant – I feel really, really good. very positive, improving everything in my life and I’m so much happier” LP
 

“I love and accept myself” is one of my favourite EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) phrases and by developing that mindset I have seen amazing transformations amongst clients suffering from low self esteem and lack of confidence. Why not try it out for a day and see what happens? If that phrase is initially a step too far then start first with  “I’m OK”, then, “I value and accept myself”, and then, when you feel you are ready, “I love and accept myself”. These are amazingly powerful and empowering phrases that will help you build up the vital inner value and belief in yourself that you deserve.

 

2/ Let go of limiting beliefs

If the mind is full of limiting beliefs these will block anyone from achieving their goals and aspirations. Limiting beliefs may have been part of one’s thinking that may have been connected to old messages unconsciously picked up in childhood or from unpleasant previous experiences in our formative years. Being able to let go of these inappropriate messages is paramount if you want to achieve the goals and desires in your life that you would like. I have found just saying this hypnotic phrase “That thought is not available” to yourself any time a negative belief or phrase pops into the mind is a very effective and powerfully simple way to clear unwanted and destructive self talk.

 

“I can’t believe so much has changed in my thinking in the last few weeks., and I feel in a different place again. I am so much more confident and positive. Thank you.” – DG

3/ Connect with who you really are

 

Having a confident air and belief about yourself will unlock many doors and opportunities. However there are times when we feel awkward and “on the back foot” and these are often times when something has unconsciously triggered us back to a younger self, a self without the knowledge and understandings that we have actually gained in our lifetime. Think about a job interview – as soon as we sit down on that chair our unconscious mind may be reminded of being at school! This unconscious triggering can be very confusing and can be a major factor in lack of confidence and self esteem. However it can be turned round once we are aware of what is happening. By just taking a moment to become aware of those awkward moments and bring to mind all positive experiences and understandings that you have gained, and will continue to gain throughout your life will help you to come out of the “trance” that you have been in and select  a healthier one. If in your mind you can connect with that knowledge and experience (i.e. your grown up self) you will be able to literally “trigger” your thinking into a much more positive state.

“Thanks for all your advice and showing me all the tools and techniques. I’m really glad I came to see you and grateful for everything. Hope to see you soon.” K

 

I am helping clients on a daily basis achieve wonderful improvements in their confidence and self esteem. Techniques such as Hypnosis, EFT and NLP are, in my experience, some of the most powerful building blocks for change. This is why I use them along with practical strategies and techniques that I have personally developed during my professional career as a therapist. These are strategies that can be used “in the moment” giving clients empowering tools that they can use on a practical level whatever situation they find themselves in.

If you would like to change your life and find out more about how I can help you  just call me on 07970218451 and I will be happy to chat with you.

Hypnosis can help release you from the traumas of bullying

Have you been bullied? Hypnosis, NLP and EFT can help you achieve the life and confidence you really deserve.

Over the years I have worked with many clients who have been bullied at school or in the workplace. Some are in their middle age or older and some not long out of University. Some may come to see me about that issue itself and others will find that as we go through a session their past history of being bullied is a large part of the blocks that have been keeping them from achieving their goals and feeling confident and positive about themselves.

Bullying can take various forms including school bullying, work bullying and cyber bullying. Much aggressive behaviours can also come under the category of bullying. Bullying can be social, verbal or physical and may involve threats, taunts, embarrassment and even unsavoury gestures.

The long term effects of being bullied can be devastating and lead to depression, loneliness, lack of confidence and self esteem and sometimes the risk of suicide.

The good thing is that normally it really does not take a great deal of time to shift the old emotional wounds around the experience of having been bullied that will have often blighted people’s lives for many years. Using the appropriate techniques skilfully really helps clients make a massive turn around in their confidence and self-esteem.

Sometimes with this sort of work clients may initially feel worried that they will have to re experience and go through all the details of past uncomfortable ordeals. This need not be the case and the tools I use are deigned to achieve a rapid and permanent resolution with no, or very little discomfort. Also it is not necessary to have a conscious memory of the events to be able to release them. The unconscious mind will protect us if the conscious mind finds it too much to handle however it is still possible to clear this information even though it may not be accessible to the conscious mind. Releasing the past experiences means that they will no longer have a hold over one’s life.

A good therapist can make a massive difference to a person’s life so taking your time to find someone you will feel comfortable working with is very important. My goal is not only to help clients through their trauma in the most comfortable way possible but to give them tools that they can take with them to continue building the life that they deserve with confidence and self belief.

Hypnosis, NLP and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) are valuable resources I use on a daily basis with my clients to help them achieve their goals and become the person that they want to be. I also incorporate simple but empowering strategies that I have developed over the years that give my clients the ability to adjust their feelings and experiences in the moment wherever they are and whatever they are doing. This is an amazingly empowering experience and can help anyone gain inner confidence and self belief.

If you would like to free yourself from the tyranny of past or present bullying do call me 07970218451 or email roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk and I will be happy to let you know how I can help.