Can you afford not to forgive?

Forgiveness

How easy do you find it to forgive? I think for most of us it is a very hard thing to do and seems to go against every primal instinct in our body and mind. We may spend weeks, months, years or even a lifetime, harbouring thoughts of retribution and revenge but where does that get us?

The interesting thing is that if for a moment we can bring our thoughts out of our primal (or reptilian) brain (yes we all have one of those!) and into our frontal cortex (put your palm above your eyebrows and over your forehead.. yes, you’ve got it) the thinking part of our brain knows that we are the only one hurting ourselves whilst the perpetrator is most likely away enjoying their life free of any of the malignant feelings that are keeping us stuck in a very painful place.

OK, we may be right and they may be wrong. We can all do righteousness can’t we? But the truth is it is only ourselves who are hurting, and tainting our lives and future with poisonous thinking.

Now I am not saying that this is easy but it is worth thinking about isn’t it? I say to my clients that we can “do” forgiving as a purely selfish act and that is OK. Why do I think it is OK? Simply because it is better than ruining the rest of your life in a state of hatred and turmoil while the other party gets on with their life, most likely without a second thought!

Another valuable part of forgiveness is to forgive oneself. Yes this is important but something we don’t always think of. Forgive yourself for getting into that mess, for being taken in, for not seeing it coming. Whatever it is forgive and allow yourself to move on. If forgiveness is just a step too far at the moment then use the word accept. Acceptance also helps us move forward with our own lives without bringing past issues and personalities along with us on our journey.

The quality of your journey is more important than anything else and the less baggage you carry around the   better your life experiences will be, now and in the future. And also this is very important for everyone around you . It can be a tough, tough call but just start breaking the resistance down bit by bit and you will find the changes will free you to live and enjoy the life you deserve.

If you need help with forgiveness, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is one of the most rapid and powerful ways to release yourself from past history and rebuild your life. Youtube EFT or click this link to give it a go on your own, EFT tapping forgiveness  or just get in touch with me and I will be happy to help with any support, questions or advice.

Learn how a simple change in awareness can help you feel better about life

Awareness

A mindful tip to enhance your happiness and add a little extra pleasure to your life

Although there is no doubt that it could make our lives more comfortable we have all heard the saying “money can’t buy you happiness”. So if money can’t make us happy what can and what can we do to get more of this thing called happiness? After all if we can find the secret to happiness it should be easy shouldn’t it? Just follow a simple set of rules and just be – well, happy?

But what does it actually feel like and what do we have to do that will “switch on” that feeling of pleasure, satisfaction and real meaning in our lives? Of course if I knew the answer to that I would be an extremely rich person and also have the “answer” to happiness! A win, win situation don’t you think?

However I do have one or two useful tips that I use to help myself and my clients engage with a mindfulness mindset that helps one highlight and acknowledge the subtle things that are happening around us all the time that will give us pleasure if we allow ourselves a few moments to acknowledge them.

By now we should pretty much on the same page and agreed that money and consumer items may give a passing experience of pleasure but there is often still a feeling that something is missing.

A few years ago while I was wrestling with my thoughts over this conundrum it suddenly struck me that the experiences I was looking for were happening all around me pretty much all the time but the problem was that I just wasn’t paying enough attention to them. For instance when I walked out of the front door and the sun was shining it may have registered somewhere in my brain that it was a pleasant experience but had I truly connected with it and acknowledged it in a way that would help me experience a meaningful difference to my day?

Then I realised the answer was staring me in the face at which point it all looked so obvious. If I could make that subtle and almost imperceptible fleeting experience just a little stronger and last a just a little longer what would happen and how would it impact the rest of my day? One thing I did know was that every time we get a pleasurable experience the mind subtly switches gear and sends an alpha wave (pleasant dreamy feeling) across the brain.

Now there was still one small problem, how would I, without interrupting my stride, simply and easily strengthen this message?

For those of us on Facebook we all know that there is a “like” button and Facebook knows a lot more about what is going on in our brains than we might want to imagine. When you press the “like button” or someone reciprocates a pleasurable alpha wave automatically and unconsciously flits across your brain giving you a little dose of the feel good factor (dopamine). Simple isn’t it? So there and then I just started pressing my own “like” button in my mind whenever I saw the opportunity. It may have been the sun coming out, noticing the colour of a flower or enjoying a pleasant coffee break, in fact anything that was simple and pleasurable that I may have missed or discounted as trivial or had just been passing me by while my ego had been focusing on “important stuff.”

So why is it so effective and yet so simple? Because your creative mind “likes” simple (or rather creative) and doesn’t need a mathematical formula or algorithm to make powerful change.

So try it out. It is simple, it takes up no time, no one knows you are doing it and it could help you experience a little more happiness and pleasure in your day, every day.

Press your own “like” button and have fun.

If you would like more information about how Hypnosis, EFT and NLP could make a real difference in your life just call me on 07970218451 or email and I will be happy to help.

 

Hypnosis and help for anger

Hypnosis helps for anger

Don’t get angry or get even – “get even tempered” with hypnosis!

How angry are you? Do you “lose it” over the slightest thing? Do you find yourself seething inside feeling as if no one ever understands you? Is your driving getting scarily aggressive and is everyone on the road “in your way”?

These are just a few of the symptoms we can experience when anger gets out of control and if so it is time to get to work on it before things get much worse.

There are lots of ways we can express our anger, and anger is a natural human expression. It is also a very powerful primal instinct designed to keep us safe from dangerous situations and if it gets out of control can create havoc in our life and for the lives of those around us. In our modern world we are no longer in day to day hostile environment but “acting out” as if were can lead to many situations that are unhealthy, unsafe and dangerous.

Unchecked anger can ruin relationships, health and the enjoyment of life. It drives away family and friends, can lead to loss of jobs and income and even our freedom by making us do things we regret later. Controlling anger is not usually a difficult thing to do and once we have the skills and understanding about what is going. With this in place then life can begin to turn around into a pleasure rather than literally a continuous fight.

Anger triggers the “fight” part of the “fight or flight” response which when left unchecked starts to operates on an uncontrollable “hair trigger” and that is a very dangerous situation to get into.

Since we all are programmed to experience some anger it is important thing to be able to manage and control it in a healthy way. When we have the tools to do this the anger can be diffused and will not be able to hijack our emotions as it may have done in the past.

There are many ways to help guide one’s mind and thinking into a more relaxed and healthier pattern such as exercise, yoga, meditation, mindfulness and finding a hobby. However it can also be important to get some professional help. I use a variety of techniques such as hypnosis, EFT and NLP that are all designed to help clients regain control and enjoy their lives on a daily basis. Hypnosis is an exceptionally valuable tool to help teach the body’s nervous system how to relax and also release physically and emotionally. An expert professional will often be able to turn this around in two or three sessions and give you the tools to continue these changes on a daily basis.

If you would like any more information on this subject and the help available to enable you to make a remarkable difference in your life then please call or email and I will be very happy to help.

Mental Health, let’s talk about it!

Mental Health

Talk about mental health with Time to Talk

On Thursday this week (February 4th 2016) it will be “Time To Talk” day.  Time To Talk day has been organised for the last three years by charities Mind, and Rethink Mental Illness under the umbrella Time To Change and the aim is to encourage people to share their feelings and discuss their stories and personal experiences about mental health in person and via Facebook and Twitter.

Although this is primarily a project that has been been organised in England over the last three years, in Scotland, England and Wales one in four people will suffer from some sort of mental health issue and encouraging people to talk about it can only help break down the taboos and difficulties around discussing mental illness.

For various reasons people find it hard to talk openly about mental illness so engaging everyone helps bring into the open a subject that has been in need of more awareness and understanding for a long time now. It is really much more common than we think and this initiative can only help and encourage a greater understanding and support for anyone going through difficult times. Knowing that you are not alone is invaluable in helping support the healing process.

According to a Time to Change survey 60% of those interviewed found the stigma and discrimination around issues such as depression, anorexia and anxiety were as debilitating as the symptoms they were suffering. If we have a physical illness we are much less likely to keep it to ourselves than a mental one because of the stigma surrounding mental illness.

Talking with friends and family is a great therapy but there is a point when one needs to take the next step and that is of course seeing your GP, and or appropriate professional organisation who will be able to help you get the best treatment. 

The three charities below are a good place to start if you or someone you know is having difficulty in getting the support and advice they need.

For more about Time To Talk day follow this link

Time to Talk

See me Scotland  is a Scottish charity also with the aim of ending mental health stigma and discrimination and for Wales follow the link below for  more information 

Time to Change Wales

Self Hypnosis, NLP and EFT. Three powerful therapeutic techniques

Self Hypnosis

Are you looking for more from your life, your career, yourself, your relationships? Self Hypnosis, NLP and EFT can help make remarkable life changes.

How is your life today compared to the life you would like? Do you feel that something is missing, that you have so much more to offer but don’t know where to start? Is your career and confidence stalling and you feel you are just not getting the pleasure out of your life that you could? Perhaps this affecting your relationships?

What if strategies and techniques were available right now to help open the door to creativity, higher conscious awareness, inner peace and happiness?

Happiness is something that starts within and can’t be found outside ourselves and it is only when we have the good luck or the tools to help discover the secrets to generating happiness in our lives that we can truly begin to move towards our full potential.

Self Hypnosis, NLP, and EFT have within them many unique strategies for change and are powerful techniques that can help deliver the experiences in your life that you have been looking for. In fact in my experience they have within them vital tools and techniques to help begin to generate powerful change in confidence, self belief and inner peace that will last a lifetime.

Hypnosis not only helps us learn how relax but is a gateway to the unconscious from where we can access the brainwaves (Alpha and Theta) that open the doors to creative change and the release of blocks that may have been holding us back from fully believing in and engaging our unique talents.

NLP “a system of alternative therapy based on this which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour.” Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP

EFT is form of acupressure based on tapping on with your fingers on meridian points (the points an acupuncturist would put a needle in) while voicing any problems or issues that may need releasing and using positive affirmations to help channel one’s energy into a healthier direction. This helps relax our thinking and body thus clearing a path to moving one’s life on in an empowering way.

I use these techniques to help my clients make very positive and powerful changes in their lives and give them the tools to continue these changes into their future. By contacting a professional therapist who uses these techniques you can find that you could develop your self hypnosis confidence, building self esteem and creativity and quality of life rapidly and successfully.

Body image, confidence and Hypnosis

Body Image

There is a post doing the rounds on Facebook at the moment that says “want a bikini body? Put on a bikini and stop giving a s*** what everyone else thinks!!”

Fighting talk, and amusing enough if you don’t actually care what people think. However many  people worry very much about “what everyone else thinks” and it can be very hard to acquire the confidence and thick skin to ignore those thoughts. “What other people think of me is none of my business” is one of my favorite quotes but we live in a culture that celebrates celebrity. We have celebrities on our TVs and ipads every moment of the day setting new trends in fashion, body image and status. Also we may be struggling with past conditioning without even knowing what it is that is keeping us in a low self esteem, lack of confidence mindset.

Lack of confidence in ourselves emotionally and lack of confidence on a physical level will have a profound effect on how we act, react and communicate in pretty much all our everyday communications, social and business . This obsession with body image and how we perceive ourselves and imagine others perceive us can easily tip over into even more destructive issues such as depression and eating disorders so it is important to get good professional help to turn this around and get one’s life back.

No one should have to spend their lives short changing themselves on confidence, happiness and self respect and although the reasons behind these feelings may be complex that does not mean it need take a long time and a lot of therapy sessions to turn this around. Techniques such as Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) can help achieve real and positive freedom from this state often in a remarkably short period of time.

All these techniques have a positive track record in achieving rapid and lasting change that other therapies cannot always match. If we could change just by thinking consciously and knowing consciously what we want to change then it would not in most cease be a problem. However it is rarely as simple as that. However the reason that change can be so rapid and effective with these therapies is that they all help connect with our creative unconscious, the very part of us that has the tools to reprogramme our feelings and thoughts.

It may feel a daunting task to turn something such as this round but with the right help it can be a life affirming experience that has the promise to make massive change in a very healthy way.

If you would like any more information just call or email and I will be very happy to help.

“I can’t believe so much has changed in my thinking in the last few weeks., and I feel in a different place again. I am so much more confident and positive. Thank you.” – DG

Can hypnosis help you have a better day?

Hypnosis

“What would you like to have happen today?” is a phrase often used by therapists as an initial question given to a client at the beginning of a session. Written down like this it can seem a bit stilted and awkward sounding but if you ask yourself this very question right now notice for a second what your mind is doing? Just ask yourself “What would I like to have happen today?” and think about it for a moment. You may notice that your mind will be making a search or reference for something that could be a possible match to what you would “like to have happen”.

In general we seek therapy when there is an issue in our lives that is causing us discomfort. It will be an issue that we don’t want and an issue we would like to remove from our life in one way or another. Naturally the main focus of one’s thoughts when in this state is “can the therapist remove this unpleasant feeling?” However, have we thought about what sort of experience we would like to have in our lives once the issue is resolved?

Just think for a moment about what would happen if you wanted to move from where you live now because for various reasons it had become unsuitable for your needs and life style. You wouldn’t just move out without giving any thought to what would be the important things you would like in your new home and neighborhood that are not available where you are at present.

And so it is when we are looking for emotional change in our lives. Whether to relieve anxiety, lose weight or gain confidence what we are looking for is the end goal and how it is going to change our lives in the future. In other words it is very important to have an idea of how your life is going to change for the better and how you would like to experience life in the future rather than only thinking about what you don’t want.

“And what will you notice when you have made these changes?”

This is another powerful question I often ask as the client begins to experience, in their imagination, subtle shifts in perception and understanding. They may have already created in their mind walking onto a plane with no fear and anxiety or confidently giving a presentation at work. Because the change that they have begun to develop will make a massive difference to their holiday or their confidence in the workplace this will be the time for their unconscious to share this information with the conscious mind and positively strengthen the new neural connections that the brain is making.
Isn’t it interesting how just a couple of simple questions trigger so much change without us even knowing how it happens? We have moved from negative to positive without even noticing it. Suddenly the mind is focusing on what you do want much more than what you don’t want! It’s just like hypnosis isn’t it?

So what would you like to have happen today?
If you would like to make exceptional changes in your life or experience your life more positively on a daily basis do get in touch and find out how I can help you.

If you would like more information or to book a session just call or email me and I will be happy to help.

“Hi Roger, Thank you very much for today, it’s left me in a great mood!” – BD

Even Tiger Woods can get the “Yips”

Tiger Woods

Even Tiger Woods can fall victim to the “Yips”

Tiger Woods has had his fair share of golfing problems recently how Tiger got the yips Hainey and now to add to that it appears that he has been suffering from the yips around the greens. Once the master of the most any shot in the bag it seems that at one point recently even a simple chip shot was not always guaranteed to land on the green for him.

What it must feel like for a pro of any standing let alone Tiger’s it is hard to imagine but for the amateur whose head gets infiltrated with this toxic experience it may not be the end of their profession but it will certainly take out a major percentage of the pleasure in their golf game.

There seems only limited expert help out there for this problem and working with a pro on your stroke whether putting or chipping is important to help you to have a clear idea of the correct way execute the stroke. However it is not guaranteed that the brain will obey these instructions once the problem has started and this is where finding someone with the knowledge of the psychology of the game, and with knowledge of techniques to help the brain and body re route these mistimed messages whilst quietening the “demons in the head” that seem to sabotage every thought of hitting a clean shot is invaluable.

I work very successfully in this area with pro and amateur golfers and also in such sports as snooker, darts and tennis. The first thing is to halt the stream of negative self talk that drains any possibility of confidence and for this I use a simple mental phrases that you can take with you and say to yourself wherever you are and whatever the situation. Instead of using the usual “pump me up” power phrases such as “let’s go for it” and “in the hole” try saying to yourself any time you have a negative thought “that thought is not available”. You will be able to use the other phrases later but one step at a time.

Sounds too simple to be true doesn’t it but the reason it works so effectively is that it is a post hypnotic suggestion. In other words it bypasses the conscious mind and embeds itself in the unconscious whereas anything like the previous phrase will just get batted backwards and forwards round the conscious mind. And it is imperative to clear the negative debris that has been left from past negative experience before we can start putting in positive affirmations that we will believe.

Part of my work in this area deals with “mind tips and techniques” that will help tune the mind and thoughts to a much more positive level The other part is using very simple but specialist techniques to reconfigure the brain circuits. Because the proprioceptive messages from brain to body that trigger the muscular responses are jumbled and distorted then we must have ways available that will cancel out the misdirected information and set up a clear path for clean messages to take their place. How would it feel to have available available simple techniques that will help build a much closer connection and feeling of what your muscles are doing that can literally begin to rewire your physical responses?

I know how powerful these techniques are simply because I have developed and used them successfully over the years in my own experience of years performing in front of large audiences as a professional musician. (Yes musicians can suffer from their own forms of the yips as well) This has meant my developing a unique but powerful set of tools, techniques and strategies aimed at helping performers in all areas achieve their best outcome for their skills and pleasure in their hobby or profession.
For more information just call or email and I will be happy to help you in person or over Skype.

“Sorry I’ve not been in touch, but it’s really just to say thanks. Since we met I have worked away at the swing thoughts we spoke about and have banished completely my short game problem. I don’t even acknowledge that word anymore my game is great even if its not went as well as I would have liked. I don’t have the same feeling of dread I used to have on approaching short shots or chips and my enjoyment of the game has improved greatly. So thanks again Roger.” CW

Gary Player used self hypnosis to help win the US Open 1965

Golfer

Today I am sharing a link featuring one of the most successful golfers in the history of the sport. Gary player  was a regular PGA tour winner from 1958 through to 1978 with nine Majors to his name. He was also the only golfer in the 20th century to win the British Open in three different decades.

At 80 years old he still puts himself through a punishing fitness routine that exemplifies the mindset that he has used all his life to create his amazing success. And what else did he use? Self hypnosis.

For anyone looking for inspiration to help achieve their goals this is a must read and inspiring article. I am sure you will enjoy it.

Gary Player used self hypnosis to help win the US Open

EFT can help you make remarkable changes in your life

EFT can help

I have been using EFT in my practice for many years now and it never ceases to amaze me how simple and effective this technique is. If you want a technique that you can use and take with you “in your back pocket” wherever you are and whatever circumstances you are in then EFT is the obvious choice.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) has been around now for 20 years and was developed by Gary Craig from Roger Callaghan’s Thought Field Therapy. It is termed as an energy psychology and works by tapping on certain acupressure points around the body whilst verbalising (internally or out loud) the issues you are working on.

It is a favourite technique of mine and often clients will come in with no knowledge of it and I will demonstrate to them without initially explaining it a simple round of tapping on the specific points to see what experience they get. They may look a bit perplexed as we begin the “round” tapping on the side of the hand then tapping with the fingers on 7 points around the body whilst reciting the problem out loud. The interesting thing is that even after one or two rounds which will take only a minute of two at most, their face and body will relax and when I ask them how they feel they will usually say, with a pleasantly surprised look on their face, “well, I seem to feel a bit more relaxed”.
This almost instant reduction in the discomfort of the problem is to me proof that meaningful and powerful change has already begun. We may have only just started the session and the work we will do but now my client is also learning a technique that will help empower them on a daily basis. And this will be a technique they will soon learn and be able to take with them and use without me having to be there. As I say to clients “I don’t know what you will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow any more than I know what I will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow” but if it is something you want to deal with then EFT can help you deal with it on the spot.

The well respected complimentary medicine and nutrition expert, osteopath and best selling author Dr Mercola has written various articles about the benefits of EFT and has a video and information about how effective it can be for relieving stress and tension headaches.

EFT can help with many issues including:

Phobia – Sickness phobia – Animals phobia – Insects phobia
Fear of water – Fear of darkness – Social phobia – Night phobia – Fear of plants – Any simple or complex Phobia
Stress – Anxiety – Tenseness – Insecurity – Nervousness – Anger – Hate – Grief – Depression – Guilt – Feeling incompetent
Fear of abandonment – Fear of the future – Fear of persons – Fear of the unknown – Fear of death
Traumatic memory: Rejection, Failure, Duress, Abandonment, Accident, Abuse, Rape, Love pain
Headache – Nervous stomach-ache – Back pain – Pain in the neck – Carpal tunnel syndrome
Pre-menstrual syndrome – Physical pain with no organic cause – Constipation – Irritable bowel – Jaw tightness
Asthma – Constricted breath – Dyspnoea – Chronic diseases – Hypertension – Hypotension – tachycardia – Arrhythmia
Sexual problems (non organic) – Myopia – Vision problems – Allergies of any kind
Dyslexia – Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) – Learning problems – Low school grades
Panic attacks – Bulimia  – Cravings – Anorexia nervosa – Overeating – Specific food dislike
Drugs – Alcohol – Smoking – Addictive food – Nervous habits
Plus general improvement and happiness in one’s personal and professional life: 

Self-confidence – Self-image – Better relationships – Forgiveness – Procrastination – Goal achievement – Work performance – Sport performance – Personal peace
To find out more about how Emotional Freedom Technique can help you just get in touch and I will be happy help.

Have been meaning to get back to you for ages to say thank you so much for your support with myChronic Fatigue Syndrome. As you know we met just before a very big trip abroad. The two sessions really helped lift my energy levels pretty much from zero to high enough to allow me to pack and get myself to the airport, which was looking a bit doubtful at that point in time.Your techniques supported me throughout the 3 months I was away and I would recommend your methods and support for anyone living with this condition.
Thanks again