Does lack of self belief undermine your confidence?

Self Confidence

Imposter syndrome and Fraud syndrome

Do you feel that you are promoted beyond your capabilities and will soon be “found out”? Perhaps despite achieving top marks at University and securing a good position at work you are afraid that someone will expose you as a fraud! Perhaps you did not go to University and feel yourself lacking just because you don’t have that qualification even though you are very good at your job?

Imposter syndrome or Fraud syndrome is not a psychologically categorised issue but nevertheless affects many people even when they are performing well and achieving top promotions in their careers. However much positive evidence is available confirming their ability and competence there always remains a nagging doubt that they will soon be “discovered” for the fraud that they think they are. The mirror image of imposter syndrome is the Dunnuing-Kruger effect whereby incompetent people remain convinced of their own competence.

To anyone who feels comfortable and competent in their own field of expertise this can seem difficult to understand but for a sufferer even offhand comments and looks in the workplace can appear to be confirmation of one’s perceived inadequacies and lack of qualifications in an area where they most probably excel.

If you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome you may:

  • Be afraid people will “find you out” and see through you
  • Take normal advice or criticism to heart
  • Worry that praise and encouragement from others is misplaced or just being said to help you feel better
  • Think everyone else is better qualified than you.

 

Of course friends and colleagues will most likely continue to say that this type of thinking is nonsense and try to help with encouraging words and advice. But however well meaning this may be unfortunately the “imposter” will find little solace in their words since they “know” for sure it is only a matter of time before they will get found out. Have you tried saying to yourself “Don’t think that” “Stop worrying about it” or “Forget it”? You might just as well say “Don’t think of a pink elephant”!This sort of self talk rarely works and especially so in this sort of case.

I have a phrase that I often ask clients to say to themselves whenever negative self talk is taking over the mind. Telling oneself to stop thinking this way rarely works since the message will be filtered through the frontal cortex of the rational logical mind which usually rejects it. However I have found that when we say the phrase “That thought is not available” it is a great way to divert the message past this part of the mind and straight to the unconscious creative mind. Because these words make no logical sense to our analytical thinking the phrase bypasses the conscious process.

Obviously there is work to be done in releasing past conditioning and blocks that prevent positive and realistic assessment of one’s talent. In my therapy practice I find a combination of hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to be powerful ways to help my clients release past blocks and issues in a rapid, comfortable and empowering way.

In the words of Marianne Williamson from her book “Return to Love” “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
To find out more about how Hypnotherapy, EFT, and NLP can massively help your confidence and self belief in this and other areas of your life just call 07970218451 or email roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk and I will be happy to help you.

 

 

Tap on your face to help dieting? Try EFT

Face Tapping

“Beat yo-yo dieting – by tapping your face”

A really interesting article about a technique to help weight loss appeared in the Mail On Sunday. “Beat yo-yo dieting – by tapping your face” (Link below)

Tapping on your face? Well that is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) a technique that I use virtually every day to help many of my clients in my hypnotherapy practice in Glasgow.

So let me tell you how my experience of using EFT with clients (and for myself) makes it such a valuable technique that therapists and public are beginning to incorporate into their clinical practices and daily lives on an ever increasing basis.

EFT is an energy psychology therapy which really means that it harnesses the natural energy and resources of the mind and body to aid healing and transformation. If you have not seen how it works before it can look a little strange at first as we literally tap on “energy points” or meridian points around the body with the fingers. This in effect is exactly what an acupuncturist would do but they will gently place a needle in these points thereby helping to energise these points and promote the body’s  natural healing resources. This is something Chinese medicine has been doing for thousands of years to great effect.

EFT is now becoming much more mainstream thanks to it’s founder Gary Craig’s generosity and enthusiasm in promoting it’s use, not just for practitioners but for the general public to have access to. I have worked with numerous medical professionals demonstrating to them how to use it and I know many who use it to help their own patients. Not only can it help with issues such as stopping smoking and weight loss but  also anxiety, confidence and, in the USA it is used to great effect helping servicemen recover from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

One of the major advantages with EFT along with how effectively and rapidly it can get results is it’s simplicity. As we tap on each accupressure point we will basically be just reciting out loud or to ourselves how we feel about any particular issue and as we tap the on these points this helps calm the part of the brain, the amygdala, that triggers our “fight or flight” response. The beauty of this is that clients can then take home a simple process that will help them continue their progress with whatever they are working on, thus accelerating their recovery and also empowering themselves at the same time.

A great starter book if you would like to know more is “EFT in your Pocket” by Isy Grig (available from Amazon, Kindle just £3 08p) and the title really sums up how EFT can become something that you literally can have “up your sleeve” or “in your pocket” wherever you are.

To learn more about how EFT could really help you with weight loss and how you can use the technique to help release yourself from yo-yo dieting here is the article link.   Mail on Sunday Beat yo-yo dieting

If you would like to know more about EFT and also how it can help many other issues  just email
rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com or call me on 07970218451 and I will be happy to chat with you.

It can be really valuable to initially work with an experienced practitioner to get the very best understanding and results using EFT. However it is a wonderful way to not only help yourself but to put yourself “in the driving seat.” This then sets you up with a technique that you can use for the rest of your life whatever the situation. And there are not many techniques out there that are any simpler or more effective than EFT. A technique  that virtually anyone can use at any time for any situation.

3 Important Things you can do to help change your life positively for ever.

Change Your Life

 Want to make a start and change your life?

1/ Love yourself

Most of us know how to love our family and friends, partners and children but have we ever thought about loving ourselves?  On an aeroplane the rule in an emergency is for parents with children to  first put their own oxygen mask on before they help their child. If the parent is unable to breathe how can they help their children? Loving ourselves in a healthy way is the oxygen that feeds us and helps us and every one around us flourish and grow. Unfortunately we may have been taught to think that “loving ourselves” is arrogant or big headed but far from it. To love and accept yourself can free you to truly be the person you want to be.

“Brilliant – I feel really, really good. very positive, improving everything in my life and I’m so much happier” LP

“I love and accept myself” is one of my favourite EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) phrases and by developing that mindset I have seen amazing transformations amongst clients suffering from low self esteem and lack of confidence. Why not try it out for a day and see what happens? If that phrase is initially a step too far then start first with  “I’m OK”, then, “I value and accept myself”, and then, when you feel you are ready, “I love and accept myself”. These are amazingly powerful and empowering phrases that will help you build up the vital inner value and belief in yourself that you deserve.

2/ Let go of limiting beliefs

If the mind is full of limiting beliefs these will block anyone from achieving their goals and aspirations. Limiting beliefs may have been part of one’s thinking that may have been connected to old messages unconsciously picked up in childhood or from unpleasant previous experiences in our formative years. Being able to let go of these inappropriate messages is paramount if you want to achieve the goals and desires in your life that you would like. I have found just saying this hypnotic phrase “That thought is not available” to yourself any time a negative belief or phrase pops into the mind is a very effective and powerfully simple way to clear unwanted and destructive self talk.

“I can’t believe so much has changed in my thinking in the last few weeks., and I feel in a different place again. I am so much more confident and positive. Thank you.” – DG

3/ Connect with who you really are

Having a confident air and belief about yourself will unlock many doors and opportunities. However there are times when we feel awkward and “on the back foot” and these are often times when something has unconsciously triggered us back to a younger self, a self without the knowledge and understandings that we have actually gained in our lifetime. Think about a job interview – as soon as we sit down on that chair our unconscious mind may be reminded of being at school! This unconscious triggering can be very confusing and can be a major factor in lack of confidence and self esteem. However it can be turned round once we are aware of what is happening. By just taking a moment to become aware of those awkward moments and bring to mind all positive experiences and understandings that you have gained, and will continue to gain throughout your life will help you to come out of the “trance” that you have been in and select  a healthier one. If in your mind you can connect with that knowledge and experience (i.e. your grown up self) you will be able to literally “trigger” your thinking into a much more positive state.

“Thanks for all your advice and showing me all the tools and techniques. I’m really glad I came to see you and grateful for everything. Hope to see you soon.” K

I am helping clients on a daily basis achieve wonderful improvements in their confidence and self esteem. Techniques such as Hypnosis, EFT and NLP are, in my experience, some of the most powerful building blocks for change. This is why I use them along with practical strategies and techniques that I have personally developed during my professional career as a therapist. These are strategies that can be used “in the moment” giving clients empowering tools that they can use on a practical level whatever situation they find themselves in.

If you would like to change your life and find out more about how I can help you  just call me on 07970218451 and I will be happy to chat with you.

Hypnosis can help release you from the traumas of bullying

Traumas of Bullying

Have you been bullied? Hypnosis, NLP and EFT can help you achieve the life and confidence you really deserve.

Over the years I have worked with many clients who have been bullied at school or in the workplace. Some are in their middle age or older and some not long out of University. Some may come to see me about that issue itself and others will find that as we go through a session their past history of being bullied is a large part of the blocks that have been keeping them from achieving their goals and feeling confident and positive about themselves.

Bullying can take various forms including school bullying, work bullying and cyber bullying. Much aggressive behaviours can also come under the category of bullying. Bullying can be social, verbal or physical and may involve threats, taunts, embarrassment and even unsavoury gestures.

The long term effects of being bullied can be devastating and lead to depression, loneliness, lack of confidence and self esteem and sometimes the risk of suicide.

The good thing is that normally it really does not take a great deal of time to shift the old emotional wounds around the experience of having been bullied that will have often blighted people’s lives for many years. Using the appropriate techniques skillfully really helps clients make a massive turn around in their confidence and self-esteem.

Sometimes with this sort of work clients may initially feel worried that they will have to re experience and go through all the details of past uncomfortable ordeals. This need not be the case and the tools I use are deigned to achieve a rapid and permanent resolution with no, or very little discomfort. Also it is not necessary to have a conscious memory of the events to be able to release them. The unconscious mind will protect us if the conscious mind finds it too much to handle however it is still possible to clear this information even though it may not be accessible to the conscious mind. Releasing the past experiences means that they will no longer have a hold over one’s life.

A good therapist can make a massive difference to a person’s life so taking your time to find someone you will feel comfortable working with is very important. My goal is not only to help clients through their trauma in the most comfortable way possible but to give them tools that they can take with them to continue building the life that they deserve with confidence and self belief.

Hypnosis, NLP and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) are valuable resources I use on a daily basis with my clients to help them achieve their goals and become the person that they want to be. I also incorporate simple but empowering strategies that I have developed over the years that give my clients the ability to adjust their feelings and experiences in the moment wherever they are and whatever they are doing. This is an amazingly empowering experience and can help anyone gain inner confidence and self belief.

If you would like to free yourself from the tyranny of past or present bullying do call me 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to let you know how I can help.

Procrastination and how Hypnosis can help

Procrastination

What you can do to overcome procrastination and “writer’s block”

Recently, comic star and actor Jennifer Saunders has been using hypnotherapy to help overcome procrastination and gain productivity. She has been writing a script for an upcoming big screen version of the comedy “Absolutely Fabulous” in which she co-starred with Joanna Lumley and has been experiencing some kind of “writers block”.

Procrastination and meeting deadlines are issues that many of us experience and I often get asked to help people with this. Hypnosis can be a very powerful and rapid way to help generate focus and concentration as well as release any negative programmes that may be holding us back.

Working recently with an artist who had a really strong desire to organise workshops and spend more time developing the talent that she obviously had it was interesting to find that she also had various unconscious blocks that were preventing her from moving forward with her projects. When this happens we are struggling with an internal conflict. However the problem is that we often don’t know what the conflict is about and can easily blame ourselves for being lazy and unmotivated. This thinking can then set up a spiral of negativity which will eat into our self esteem and take us even further away from achieving our goals.

However when we have the tools to release the hold that this negative programme has over us this can make all the difference to our confidence, self belief and help generate the creativity needed to express ourselves in our chosen area. This may be writing, art, music, computer programming or even having to get on with cleaning the house or running a business.

“Beating yourself up” over this is obviously a poor option and will only make you feel more dispirited. Once we learn how to develop confidence, creativity and self belief alongside practical steps that will help us get on with things then it becomes possible to generate a really productive mind set.

My client has now already presented successful workshops and has another two scheduled in the next few weeks, plus she is enjoying her talent and becoming even more creative. So if you need help with this issue find a good professional hypnotherapist who can help you and the rewards may well be even greater than you might imagine.

If you have any confidence or procrastination issues and would like to use hypnosis to help generate more of your true potential just call me on 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to discuss how I can help you.

Worried about exams?

Exams

Four ways you can supercharge your brain and get the best results in your exams.

Whether at school, at University or studying in your own time, exams are usually one thing you can’t avoid if you are looking to gain a qualification or upgrade your job.
There are lots of techniques and plenty of advice available to help you get the best results and below are a few example ideas that could help you.

Mind maps. The brain does not work in a linear fashion so the concept of mind maps helps us learn in a pattern more familiar to our actual thinking process.

Talk through your work with family or friends. Let them ask questions. Discuss your subject as if you were teaching the information. Getting it right is not the name of the game here. You are collecting information on your strengths and weaknesses and this will help you fine tune your study time and focus on any areas you need to work on.

Use past papers whenever appropriate to help you become familiar with the type of questions you will get and how they will be presented.

For interviews set up a rehearsal interview with someone who may be familiar with interview techniques. There is plenty of information on the internet covering the type of questions often asked.

However there are other important ways to programme the mind that will help achieve the best results. Working and developing the four areas below could really help you expand your memory, creativity and thinking in a major way.

1/ Gain Confidence.. Do you feel confident in yourself and your knowledge? This is worth anyone’s time to work on. If we do not feel confident all the knowledge in the world is not going to help us operate to our full potential.

2/ Improve your Memory. If we think our memory is poor then it will most likely stay that way. But if our memory is not as good as we would like it to be what can we do about it? I offer very powerful techniques that can help significantly boost memory.

3/ Develop your creative mind. If you can energise your creative mind in the right way then you have opened up another area that will give you access to even more knowledge and understanding. EFT and Hypnosis are both powerful ways to help get your brain into an optimal learning state.

4/ Learn to recognise different mind states. The state of Flow for instance is a state most of us will have experienced at some time or other but do we know when it is happening and how can we “turn it on” at the crucial times we need it? When we can recognise this state, then with the right tools we can begin to tap into it more and more when needed. To develop a hypnotic or trance state does not necessarily require us to close our eyes. Trance is a natural experience that gives us access to many different shades of experience. The trick is being able to choose the appropriate state for whatever we are doing.

The above are vital skills that when developed are of optimal value in helping boost the work you do to achieve the results you deserve. Having trained originally as a professional musician I have from my own experience as a performer developed an intense interest in methods that help develop the brain and our thinking processes.

“Hi Roger I just wanted to say that I successfully passed the exam.” K 
 

Over the years I have developed a unique set of tools that I have aligned with my training in Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). I have also spent many years teaching students on a one to one basis privately, in schools and at establishments such as Napier University (at the time Napier College), The Royal Conservatoire of Music, and taking group courses for students of all ages. This is the knowledge and experience that gives my clients the opportunity to make empowering changes in their lives and future. I have helped taxi drivers pass “the knowledge”, University students achieve fantastic results in their exams and business people get the promotion or job they wanted and I can help you achieve the results you are looking for.

“Meant to tell you that (after your workshop) the students at Strathclyde (University music department) were trying out your techniques and were all enthusing about them”  Andrea Kuypers. Tutor at Strathclyde and Napier Universities.
 

If there is any aspect of your studying that you would like to develop just email or call me and I will be happy to discuss how these techniques could help you achieve the very best results for your future.

Phone: 07970218451
email: rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com

Nine traumatising feelings that abuse survivors are left to deal with.

Frozen in shock

Hypnosis and EFT can help deal with these nine traumatising feelings after abuse

Listening the other day to a woman talking about her experience of abuse when she was eleven years old, as she described how the events of the past still affected her everyday life she encapsulated in her phrases the many traumatising feelings that victims can carry with them for the rest of their lives.

“Frozen in shock” sums up how the body stores past trauma and until this can be unlocked there will always be a state of “Fight or Flight” operating throughout the nervous system.

“Carrying the secret” is a cross that victims of abuse may have to bear for the rest of their lives unless they can “lock it away in a mental compartment” to help them continue their lives with some form of internal safety. Otherwise it can be almost too much to bear.

“Fear of not being believed” when they were children alienates and “isolates” them from family and friends often along with “rejection from other family members.”

“Lack of Trust” becomes even more pervasive when the perpetrator was a family member.

“Depression” can then become a common illness with anyone who has been in this situation.

I have successfully worked with many clients who have been victims of abuse. Using hypnotherapy, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP with knowledge and understanding can help achieve enormously important change.

I always work in a way that is sympathetic and mindful of my clients’ feelings and also in ways that can achieve the best results with the absolute minimum of distress. In fact it is often not even necessary to discuss or reveal any difficult detail at all to help clear past experiences. Having to go through the distressing details is probably one of the major worries that keeps many people from seeking help through therapy but for a skilled practitioner it is not necessary to do so to achieve powerful results. In my experience the old techniques of talking through the trauma in detail and almost reliving it are out of place and unnecessary.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues I will be very happy to discuss how I help my clients achieve remarkable changes in their lives. Just email roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk or call 07970218451 for a confidential chat.

Confidence. Can we achieve it if we don’t have it?

Confidence

I find it fascinating that although my clients book in for so many different issues, in many cases it often does not take long to discover that a large part of the problem comes down to confidence. Some people are very confident at work but not so out in the everyday world and others confident in social situations but not so at work. It may be authority figures, people who talk loudly or just everyone in general who seems to know more, have more to say, be better at things or just seem to have more confidence than we do.

Since we are all in situations every single day where we are communicating with other people, whether at work, socially or just in passing it can feel as if there is no let up to this problem. All these situations just seem to exacerbate those uncomfortable feelings and the emotional and social discomfort it breeds.

The big question is where does the problem come from and how can we fix the issue? Many issues are born in childhood and when we are young it can take only a word or a look for us to read into even a light hearted comment some slight that can still be stuck in our unconscious decades later. This is why it is so important to clear those old messages before we build our new programme of confidence in ourselves. It may seem like a huge task but I have found that with the right techniques one can help clear even those issues we don’t consciously know about in less than one session. Once that is clear then the way is open to move forward and build a new foundation of self belief and confidence. To help make these changes I use a mix of hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), NLP and importantly some simple but very powerful techniques to help my clients make real changes to how they feel right there and then in any situation as it is happening.

Why is this is an area in which I am passionate about about helping people with? Two BIG reasons for me are a) I have experienced it myself and b) I have spent years researching and developing a series of strategies and techniques that will help my clients literally power up their own self belief and confidence in any situation.

Lack of confidence can be with us for years but with the best help and techniques you could, in just a matter of weeks if not days be gaining confidence in ways you previously never imagined. In fact one of my techniques will show you how you can literally “step into” the confident person you know you deserve to be. So if you feel it really is time to step into and be the person you know is really you, confidently and comfortably do give me a call (07970218451) or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to discuss how I can help you.

Alcohol Abuse, the dangers and what you can do about it.

Alcohol Abuse

Alcohol Abuse

What does the term alcohol abuse really mean? We all know the word alcoholic and we know that certain people drink too much but where does the term alcohol abuse fit in? If someone is suffering from alcohol abuse it means that they may not yet be physically dependent on alcohol but the alcohol is already beginning to have a negative impact on their lives. This negative impact can take the form of relationship and family problems related to drinking, issues at work, driving while under the influence and irresponsible behavior patterns.

Left to follow it’s own path alcohol abuse can become a slippery path towards some very unpleasant experiences. Some may be able to sustain an outside appearance that everything is normal but this will be at great expense to family, relationships, job prospects and self worth.

However thinking about stopping is one thing and taking action is another. This is where it is very important to find a group and/or therapist to help give support advice and counseling in these situations. Some people get good results from meetings such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and for others therapy in some form will help them find the strength to get out of this destructive cycle.

A couple of books I can recommend are Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey and Addictive Thinking by Abraham J. Twerski. However a book cannot replace qualified help and support and the longer this issue is left to develop the greater the danger that personal, physical, financial and emotional damage will occur. Although we often hear the terms genetic and disease used with regards to alcohol issues at the end of the day taking responsibility for our own health and behavior is the only thing that counts.

The techniques I offer my clients are designed to help take control of one’s life and thinking and develop the self esteem and confidence that everyone deserves to experience on an everyday basis. Hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique) are powerful and empowering tools that have given so many of my clients the opportunity to get their lives back on track If you feel it is time for you to make a real change in your life call me on 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to discuss any aspect of this with you.

Anger and why it is important to do something about it now

Anger its consequences

Anger its consequences and how to get help

Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. Although anger is a primary and natural emotion that we all experience at times it is there for our survival and losing control of this emotion on a regular basis can have severe consequences.

Anger results in a loss of control of the mid brain and an increasing sensitivity to stress. As the stress continues it then becomes easier and easier to activate this part of the brain thereby leaving one less able to activate the prefrontal cortex, the rational, reasoning part of the brain. Anger over activates the sympathetic nervous system and we lose the ability to control the balance required with the parasympathetic nervous system. This floods the system with adrenalin and an inability to control one’s emotions. Spending one’s life with “a short fuse” and the “fight or flight” system turned up full is a recipe for some very unpleasant experiences emotionally, physically, professionally and in one’s relationships.

If you think you or someone close may have anger problems check this list and see if you recognise some of the symptoms.

  • Do you have periods when you refuse to speak to people or will not help them?
  • Are you angry about something that happened in your past?
  • Does anger affect your life and the lives of people around you?
  • Is anger affecting your health?
  • Do you experience actual physical outbursts making you feel out of control?

Any one of the above can take a big toll on health, endanger one’s career and harm your relationships.

To help yourself:

  • Talk about it. Bottling things up only makes it worse.
  • Try relaxing therapies such as massage, yoga and meditation.
  • Start to recognise situations when you can feel it coming on and immediately take yourself out of those situations.
  • Learn healthy breathing techniques.
  • SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP before things get worse.

I have successfully worked with many clients with anger issues. Hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) are ideal techniques to help bring the trigger responses down to a controlled and comfortable level. Both EFT and Hypnosis work by relaxing the sympathetic nervous system and engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. When the sympathetic and the parasympathetic (relaxation) systems are in balance then we can deal much more comfortably with our work, our relationships and with ourselves. When they are out of balance it becomes very hard to control our emotions and actions.

With the techniques I use, three or four sessions will often be all it takes to turn this around and begin the process of engaging with and enjoying life in a much healthier and relaxed way than before. If you would like more information please call me on 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to help you. If you are unable to see me personally you can always book a session over Skype which can be an equally effective way to work.