Why do New Year Resolutions often fail?

New Year Resolution

Happy New Year everybody. (January 2022)

Have you made a resolution yet? We are all definitely going to the gym every single day from now on,we are going to  stop eating those chocolate cakes and we are giving up the ciggies! Yes?

Luckily I don’t smoke and I exercise at home but.. chocolate. Hmm. See why I don’t normally make New Year Resolutions? Because like you I know how easy it is to break them and forget them.

So why do New Year Resolutions fail and why is it a smoker finds it so hard to stop doing something that they know is ruining their health and taking their hard earned money? They have probably tried to stop various times but have succumbed to temptation and soon been back to where they left off or worse. And why is it that by the end of January that daily visit to the gym is just a distant memory or those chocolate cakes that we struggled to “not buy” for three weeks seem to have magically appeared back in the cupboard?

One of the biggest reasons is that if we only use our conscious mind to make the change then we are missing out on a very important part of our mind that can help us make these changes easier, quicker and permanently. (And we all want it sorted quicker and easier don’t we?) The part that we are probably not using is our unconscious creative mind.

The unconscious creative sounds a bit scary or strange doesn’t it but in fact you have an unconscious creative mind that you are using all the time. If you want to get a newspaper you will start by creating a picture of the newspaper shop in your mind (think about it, it’s there already isn’t it?). Otherwise you would not be able to get there or even know you wanted a newspaper. Your unconscious mind is in charge of a massive proportion of the information you are experiencing every moment in your daily life which leaves you free to get on with making the everyday decisions that we all make in our lives. For instance which TV programme do I want to watch!

So here are a few answers to questions that you may have been asking yourself about hypnosis, and connecting with the unconscious mind to help you make effective and powerful change.

Question: So how can I engage that part of me and use it to make change?

Answer: There are lots of different ways and going into a trance (if you are in trance you are in hypnosis) is one of the most powerful.

Question: How do I go into a trance?

Answer: Just close your eyes right now and imagine a very relaxing and pleasant picture or feeling. There you are; do that and you have already engaged the alpha waves in your brain which are a sign that you are slipping into a daydream or trance. We are doing it all the time.

Question: Hypnosis? Won’t I be doing something that puts me under someone else’s control?

Answer: No, hypnosis is a natural state and we are all in various states of trance during the day. Hypnosis is just a method of utilising and channeling that experience in a way that works for you. You will create your own particular creative experience to make the change. Some people will use pictures, some sounds, some feelings or a mixture of all three. The therapist is just there to help guide the client into their own modality of creating change.

Question: Is it really that simple?

Answer: Yes. It certainly can be as many of my clients will testify. However it is important when making this change (or any other change you want) to have the firm decision that you really intend it to work and will do whatever is required to achieve your aim. Once that mindset is in place then it really does not matter whether you think you have very little willpower or that you never managed to achieve your goal before. Your unconscious creative mind is your real powerhouse of change.

If you would like more information or to book an appointment then please call or email me and I will be very happy to help.

Addiction – Is there a hypnotic loop that drives us?

Addction

Addiction and Dopamine

Addiction can be one of the hardest things in our lives to turn round. We may be able to rapidly “switch off” a phobia using hypnosis. And we may be surprised how quickly and effectively it is possible to release ourselves from anxiety and stress once we have the right tools to do so.

So why do addictions often take more time to resolve?

One reason is the complex neural and mental programmes working beneath our awareness and continuing to drive us however hard we try to resist.

We all live with addiction of some sort. Food, TV, Facebook, Video games, Alcohol etc. These are not bad habits as long they are under a certain amount of control. But when they are accompanied by negative changes in our daily life then it really is time to address them.

Do you recognise a warm relaxing feeling of pleasure and reward that your addiction gives you?

That feeling is the brain chemical dopamine and it plays a large part in the reason we get addicted. Addiction will follow the easy way to get dopamine hits. A dopamine hit that we have to earn is not as attractive as a dopamine hit we can get instantly. And soon we are locked into a cycle that takes over the brain and literally starts rewiring it!

Think this dopamine model doesn’t apply to you?

To change an addictive behaviour it is important to recognise what is happening on an unconscious level and bring it to a conscious level. For instance I just walked away from my computer to take some washing out of the machine. Nothing abnormal about that but…I then realised that emptying the machine gave me a little more dopamine reward than writing this post. When I have finished this post I will get a feeling of satisfaction and reward. But I will have to wait for that reward until I have finished.

Emptying the washing machine gives me feeling of satisfaction and reward that I can get NOW! And the point is that it is fractionally more than I get from relentlessly typing on the computer keyboard!

Just start to notice these subtle triggers in your daily life

Now is the time to start controlling any destructive habits. Hypnosis, NLP, EFT and EMDR are powerful tools to help you kick the old habits.  As you start to recognise these subtle triggers you may be very surprised at what is happening.

Knowledge is the first key to achieving change. The second is having the tools to make the change. A good professional therapist will have the tools and knowledge to help guide and support you all the way.

Roger Foxwell MBSCH Dhyp DHP

Hypnotherapy, Emotional Freedom Technique, NLP, EMDR

So you think you know what Hypnosis is?

 

Or do you?

There are so many different descriptions of the state of hypnosis that even hypnotists and hypnotherapists will have their own definitions of hypnosis. As hypnotherapists we tend to define it more in relation to the particular way we do our work.

I could put someone into a relaxing trance. Or mesmerise them with the positive changes they could make in their lives. Or hypnotise them so they can recall or forget to remember a past memory.

Although the typical picture of someone in hypnosis will be eyes closed and seemingly fast asleep on a reclining chair I tend to favour the word trance since we are all experiencing different states of trance on a daily basis. The American term “Highway Hypnosis” sums up how we can be wide awake but in a trance at the same time, even when safely driving.

In fact reading the heading at the top of this post will put you in a light trance as your mind diverts itself from the first question and just for a fleeting moment responds to the second question with “or do I?”

Did you go into a state of hypnosis, trance, focused awareness or heightened imagination? Or perhaps you were expecting to be told to forget something or repeat an action or remember something from the past.

“And” (a hypnotist’s favourite word because it simply and easily joins each point with a natural flow) as you were reading the previous sentence your mind was probably taking you very rapidly through all sorts of mental pictures, thoughts and conundrums.

So does it matter whether it is hypnosis, hypnotherapy, mesmerism, sleep, autosuggestion, trance or focused awareness? The interesting thing is that in reality we will automatically find ourselves using our natural favoured way of dreaming, or daydreaming. Everyone has their preferred way of going into trance and will be unconsciously using it throughout the day.

That’s the way the brain works.

We just go there and that is a place that knows a lot about you.

It does, doesn’t it?

Panic Attacks and Hypnosis

Panic Attacks

Panic Attacks can be one of the most frightening experiences one can have and can appear, as it were, out of nowhere. To suddenly become aware of your heart beating faster, a loss of control and feeling disconnected from your surroundings is a very uncomfortable experience. Plus, once we have had one panic attack our body and brain remembers it and this can set up a loop whereby the brain stem continues to be alert and on the lookout for anything that might trigger a panic attack again. Unfortunately that only compounds the problem and we can become more liable to having them on a regular basis.

This experience is a message from our primal brain saying it does not, for whatever reason feel safe. Once the primal brain is activated like this it is very hard to switch off because it is in effect four times stronger than our frontal “thinking” cortex at getting it’s message across to the body.

Basically the frontal cortex, which can think logically for us, resides in the front of the skull and the primal primitive brain at the back of the skull. So once a panic attack begins generally no amount of logical thinking will turn it off and we just have to go through the experience until the body runs out of adrenaline and we can begin to calm down.

However there is a lot we can do ourselves to bring those feelings into check and manage them until they become fewer and fewer in our lives. Using hypnosis is a perfect tool to help calm the nervous system and regain control of the uncomfortable physical and emotional feelings. Also there are breathing strategies available that will help us to breath in a way that relaxes rather then excites the nervous system. Also subtle trance based ways of thinking can help us turn this around.

The beauty of using trance based techniques such as hypnotherapy is that not only does it make it easier to slip into a comfortable state of relaxation but also the trance state helps us bypass the conscious mind and generate change on a deeper unconscious level.

Stay calm

If you would like to know more about hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, NLP and other ways of engaging your creative mind for relaxation and change do feel free to contact me and I will be very happy to help.

Always seek medical advice when appropriate.

Men, controlled by your eating?

Men Eating

Eating disorders

A recent article in the i Newspaper (3rd November 2016) by Eve Simmons highlights a real lack of information regarding men with eating disorders.

Statistics appear skewed probably partly by the male psyche and society’s unconscious restrictions on men “owning up” to having any sort of mental health issues. So understandably a lot of eating disorder information is aimed at women but as Eve Simmons article points out “men get eating disorders too.”

Figures from The National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence estimate 11% of eating disorder sufferers are male and 6.4 percent of all adults displayed some form of an eating disorder. So as they point out those figures in fact point to more like a 25% figure for males.

The good news is that it is possible to recover from an eating disorder and with the right help and focus remove this often devastating illness from your life.

Here is a copy of the SCOFF questionnaire developed by John Morgan at Leeds Partnerships NHS Foundation Trust that can help sufferers check if they have some or all of these pointers

* Do you ever make yourself sick because you feel uncomfortably full

*Do you worry that you have lost control over how much you eat?

*Have you recently lost more than one stone in a three month period?

*Do you believe yourself to be fat when others say you are thin?

*Would you say that food dominates your life?

According to SCOFF a positive of two or more answers to these questions should raise your awareness of a possible issue.

Mental/health Awareness week will take place May 8 – 14th in 2017.

Three things to bring with you to a hypnotherapy session

Therapy Session

And get the best results when working with your hypnotherapist

If you haven’t experienced hypnotherapy before it can be a little daunting wondering what will happen and how you will feel when in hypnosis. Most of us have seen stage shows and hypnotists on television so understandably one may feel a little wary. However hypnosis could be one of the most relaxing experiences you have had but unfortunately the thoughts of “will I cluck like a chicken or tell all my darkest secrets” can make us somewhat guarded at that first appointment.

Now, a professional hypnotherapist would not make any of their clients cluck like a chicken and you certainly will not be telling anybody anything that you would rather keep to yourself.

However these worries can set up an unconscious resistance before we even cross the threshold so it is best to be aware of these thoughts to help allow yourself to participate as comfortably as you like in the session.

First, remember that the therapist is there to help you and has your best interests at heart. One of the strengths that Milton Erickson, the founder of modern hypnosis had, along with his remarkable skills was his ability to unconsciously convey to his clients how much he cared that they achieve the very best results.

Consciously knowing this means that there will be no need to “do battle” with the hypnotherapist. Just think how much more relaxed will you feel and how much easier it will be when both of you are working together. Those who arrive with arms folded and a “well fix me then” look on their face will take up valuable time in their session when they could be making valuable changes instead.

One reason for this resistance is that our logical thinking mind may not want us to do this work since our logical mind may not want to hand over control to the creative mind. (Yes you can relax, it will still be your mind not the hypnotherapists‘!) What the logical mind can find hard to grasp at times is that accessing the power of our creative mind will help free our logical mind thereby encouraging the whole brain to work more harmoniously. The vast majority of clients are very easy to work with and if there is any discomfort then as professionals it is our job to help put the client at ease so they will leave the session happier and more relaxed than when they came so helping them achieve their best results.

So all you have to do is bring along the belief that you will be exploring wonderful and powerful ways to help let go of the issues you will be working on plus three experiences that will help you get the best possible results –

Focus, relaxation and imagination.

Are things looking up yet?

Vision is a whole body

Vision is a whole body and mind issue

Reading one of Katy Bowman’s Nutritious Movement blogs she said “Vision is a whole body issue” and I would entirely agree with her. (In fact if you haven’t read any of her books I would encourage you to do so. Alignment Matters is where I started and I think I have bought one for pretty much everyone in my family now!)

And now I am adding to her sentence “and a mind issue”.

For a while I have been using the eyes and eye movements as part of my modalities for change in coaching and therapy sessions. I have some training in EMDR (Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) which specifically uses certain eye movements to help release and reprocess traumatic memories and emotions that are locked in the brain. It can be especially valuable in helping clients suffering from PTSD.

However I also have various other strategies I use that I find very simple that help take the sting out of residual painful emotions. These strategies have been developed through my interest in how we use our eyes and our ability to see and the links to the body’s nervous system.

I wonder how many of us have thought much about the many connections to the body and mind that are continually happening beyond your everyday awareness? Once we can harness simple understandings and make conscious and unconscious adjustments in this area it can make a noticeable positive difference to awareness and experience of the world on a daily basis.

The beauty of this, is that it is something we can become aware of and make a difference to virtually all day without even trying. After all we will spend all day (hopefully) with our eyes open so a simple change of awareness in how we and where we look is going to take virtually no extra time at all however busy we are.

It is interesting how the eyes and our looking pop up into everyday conversation all the time. Take these phrases

“Things are looking up”

“He can’t see the wood for the trees”

“Chin up”

“It’s not looking good”

“I can’t seem to focus on the issue”

You “Get the picture.”   Feel free to add a few of your own.

They are all unconscious references to what we are seeing. “How are things today?” “Things are looking up” We may see it as a pleasant enough reply to the question but where we do we look when things are not going well? We look Down.

So there is a continuous loop of unconscious positive or negative information just being generated from where and how we are looking and using our eyes. It is a fact that relaxing and widening our peripheral vision will immediately help engage the parasympathetic nervous system, the part that helps us relax and ideally balances with the sympathetic nervous system which engages our body into stimulus responses.

So “What are we all looking for?” We may be looking for a good time, some relief, some relaxation, some pleasure or just some peace and quiet. Perhaps we need to look no farther than in front of our own nose?

Workplace bullying

Workplace Bullying

Dealing with workplace bullying 

The dictionary definition of a bully is “A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker”

Any sort of bullying is pretty despicable and there has recently been a lot of media talk about bullying in the workplace.

First of all it is important that anyone who thinks they may be being bullied carefully organises their strategies by logging incidents, getting help from their union and keeping as best one can everything on a professional level.

Bullying at work can include sexual harassment, spreading rumors, undermining someone’s work and can be perpetrated face to face, by email, letter or phone. This constant undermining of someone’s personality and competence is likely to have a severely detrimental effect on the victim’s self esteem and ability to carry out their work efficiently.

However bullies are generally pretty weak and cowardly individuals and will soon back off when they are shown that we are not prepared to put up with this type of intimidation.

So how does one turn this around and wipe that seemingly indelible word “victim” from our forehead that seems to unconsciously attract this unpleasant sort of person?

 

One way of looking at it is that the bully is acting from their child self and therefore it is easy for them to spot someone else who may also be acting from their child self. So the bully is behaving as if they were perhaps 14 years old and they have spotted a victim who is unconsciously coming from perhaps their 8 year old self.

Now we all can unconsciously at times interact from our younger selves and someone who lacks confidence may really feel stuck in that past time frame without even being aware of it. Unfortunately bullies have an innate ability to spot this, also without consciously knowing it so will home in on their prey knowing that they are unlikely to get any trouble back from someone who is lacking in confidence.

So the point here is the importance of not only taking your issue through the appropriate channels but also to find techniques and strategies that build up confidence and self esteem in a healthy and empowering manner. We all have our younger parts of us that have helped us develop into the person we have become but your 8 year old doesn’t want to be dealing with awkward people with misplaced egos in the office. Our 8 year old just wants to play. It is our full grown up self that has the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to handle the sort of situations grown ups handle.

 

So learning and developing strategies that will help us feel comfortable and empowered in our full grown up self will help us deal with these situations in a much more grown up and effective way. Once the bully unconsciously recognises there is a change of dynamics and energy nine times out of ten they will soon back away. The most important thing is that you will become your full authentic self and confidently take on that knowledge, wisdom and experience that is yours. I have seen a complete change in body language and energy within just ten minutes when a client literally steps into that full self that is theirs to take with them.

If you have been suffering from any sort of bullying and would like to discuss any of the points in this post just call or email me and I will be happy to help.

Hypnosis and EFT can help heal your past

Heal Your Past

Are you afraid of your past?

We all have a past and we all have “baggage” from our past but are those past experiences holding you back from connecting with the person inside that is “trying to get out”?

Many people do a wonderful job of getting on with their lives even though they may have experienced trauma or abuse in childhood or later. And many are getting on with their lives but unfortunately still stuck with feelings of guilt, shame, anger and fear.

I never cease to be amazed at the resilience of the human psyche, however if one can begin to heal these past scars and reclaim the real, authentic and confident self that you know could be “you” what difference would that make to your life now and in the future?

The problem here is that these experiences can be “tucked” safely away in our unconscious and the thought of going to therapy and bringing everything back into the conscious mind may seem too much to even contemplate. And I really do understand that.

Many survivors of an abusive past will go for counselling or psychotherapy to talk through these past issues and this can help bring resolution, but what if the thought of going over and over and sharing all the uncomfortable details of your past with someone you don’t know feels far too intimidating and frightening?

Well there are other options, and therapies using Self Hypnosis confidence and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can be a very powerful way of getting your life back and helping yourself to enjoy your life so much more and leaving behind that shame, anger and fear without having to go through it all again. And why would you want to “go through it all again”?

 

Now this is not to say that all hypnotherapists and EFT practitioners will use these techniques in a “content free” way so you will need to discuss with the therapist how they work before committing yourself.

I have found that the more I work in these areas with clients the less of the background details I need to know and interestingly the more I work in this “content free” way the more effective the changes become. If a client wishes to tell their story then that is fine but sometimes it is just too painful or we may not even consciously remember anything about it because we have safely repressed that information and trying to unearth it would probably not be a good idea anyway.

Using EFT and hypnotherapist glasgow in specific ways designed to help clients unconsciously release bad memories is often remarkably effective and I have seen clients achieve massive changes in confidence and self esteem within one or two sessions with very little discussion about their past and how it made them feel. An important part of the work is releasing that connection but releasing so that one can become free to build a life that looks forward instead of back.

So what I am saying here is that my experience tells me that releasing trauma and difficult past experience does not need to be a long and painful drawn out affair. You really can put space between you and the past in a healthy and safe way with the absolute minimum of discomfort.

If you feel your future is being blighted by your past then you can call or email me and I will be happy to discuss this with you.

Have you pressed your “Like” button today?

Now, this could be my shortest post yet and it could also be the shortest and simplest way to help you on your way to finding much more pleasure in your life.

Question. How much time do you spend on Facebook? (Just skip this if you’re not on Facebook, it won’t matter!) How often do you “like” someone’s post? How often do you receive a message saying someone “Likes” your post. How does that make you feel?

Now if you want to create more pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction in your life start to notice today, starting right now any small pleasurable experience however seemingly insignificant, any satisfying achievement that happens and just press your own internal “Like” button. This simple thought process will send a subtle but powerful surge of Alpha (dreamy) waves through your brain and you just rewired your brain right?

As a hypnotherapist and mind coach, clients come to see me to help them change their experience of the world they are in. How can we do that?

A/ By letting go of past issues that are keeping us stuck where we are.

B/ By reorganising our thinking patterns which in turn rewires our brain.

Do this on a daily basis and see what happens. Start right now.

Press your own “LIKE” button.

(And press it twice if you liked this post!)