Why do New Year Resolutions often fail?

Happy New Year everybody. (January 2016)

Have you made a resolution yet? We are all definitely going to the gym every single day from now on,we are going to  stop eating those chocolate cakes and we are giving up the ciggies! Yes?

Luckily I don’t smoke and I exercise at home but.. chocolate. Hmm. See why I don’t normally make New Year Resolutions? Because like you I know how easy it is to break them and forget them.

So why do New Year Resolutions fail and why is it a smoker finds it so hard to stop doing something that they know is ruining their health and taking their hard earned money? They have probably tried to stop various times but have succumbed to temptation and soon been back to where they left off or worse. And why is it that by the end of January that daily visit to the gym is just a distant memory or those chocolate cakes that we struggled to “not buy” for three weeks seem to have magically appeared back in the cupboard?

One of the biggest reasons is that if we only use our conscious mind to make the change then we are missing out on a very important part of our mind that can help us make these changes easier, quicker and permanently. (And we all want it sorted quicker and easier don’t we?) The part that we are probably not using is our unconscious creative mind.

The unconscious creative sounds a bit scary or strange doesn’t it but in fact you have an unconscious creative mind that you are using all the time. If you want to get a newspaper you will start by creating a picture of the newspaper shop in your mind (think about it, it’s there already isn’t it?). Otherwise you would not be able to get there or even know you wanted a newspaper. Your unconscious mind is in charge of a massive proportion of the information you are experiencing every moment in your daily life which leaves you free to get on with making the everyday decisions that we all make in our lives. For instance which TV programme do I want to watch!

So here are a few answers to questions that you may have been asking yourself about hypnosis, and connecting with the unconscious mind to help you make effective and powerful change.

Question: So how can I engage that part of me and use it to make change?

Answer: There are lots of different ways and going into a trance (if you are in trance you are in hypnosis) is one of the most powerful.

Question: How do I go into a trance?

Answer: Just close your eyes right now and imagine a very relaxing and pleasant picture or feeling. There you are; do that and you have already engaged the alpha waves in your brain which are a sign that you are slipping into a daydream or trance. We are doing it all the time.

Question: Hypnosis? Won’t I be doing something that puts me under someone else’s control?

Answer: No, hypnosis is a natural state and we are all in various states of trance during the day. Hypnosis is just a method of utilising and channeling that experience in a way that works for you. You will create your own particular creative experience to make the change. Some people will use pictures, some sounds, some feelings or a mixture of all three. The therapist is just there to help guide the client into their own modality of creating change.

Question: Is it really that simple?

Answer: Yes. It certainly can be as many of my clients will testify. However it is important when making this change (or any other change you want) to have the firm decision that you really intend it to work and will do whatever is required to achieve your aim. Once that mindset is in place then it really does not matter whether you think you have very little willpower or that you never managed to achieve your goal before. Your unconscious creative mind is your real powerhouse of change.

If you would like more information or to book an appointment then please call or email me and I will be very happy to help.

Can hypnosis help you have a better day?

“What would you like to have happen today?” is a phrase often used by therapists as an initial question given to a client at the beginning of a session. Written down like this it can seem a bit stilted and awkward sounding but if you ask yourself this very question right now notice for a second what your mind is doing? Just ask yourself “What would I like to have happen today?” and think about it for a moment. You may notice that your mind will be making a search or reference for something that could be a possible match to what you would “like to have happen”.

In general we seek therapy when there is an issue in our lives that is causing us discomfort. It will be an issue that we don’t want and an issue we would like to remove from our life in one way or another. Naturally the main focus of one’s thoughts when in this state is “can the therapist remove this unpleasant feeling?” However, have we thought about what sort of experience we would like to have in our lives once the issue is resolved?

Just think for a moment about what would happen if you wanted to move from where you live now because for various reasons it had become unsuitable for your needs and life style. You wouldn’t just move out without giving any thought to what would be the important things you would like in your new home and neighborhood that are not available where you are at present.

And so it is when we are looking for emotional change in our lives. Whether to relieve anxiety, lose weight or gain confidence what we are looking for is the end goal and how it is going to change our lives in the future. In other words it is very important to have an idea of how your life is going to change for the better and how you would like to experience life in the future rather than only thinking about what you don’t want.

“And what will you notice when you have made these changes?”

This is another powerful question I often ask as the client begins to experience, in their imagination, subtle shifts in perception and understanding. They may have already created in their mind walking onto a plane with no fear and anxiety or confidently giving a presentation at work. Because the change that they have begun to develop will make a massive difference to their holiday or their confidence in the workplace this will be the time for their unconscious to share this information with the conscious mind and positively strengthen the new neural connections that the brain is making.
Isn’t it interesting how just a couple of simple questions trigger so much change without us even knowing how it happens? We have moved from negative to positive without even noticing it. Suddenly the mind is focusing on what you do want much more than what you don’t want! It’s just like hypnosis isn’t it?

So what would you like to have happen today?
If you would like to make exceptional changes in your life or experience your life more positively on a daily basis do get in touch and find out how I can help you.

If you would like more information or to book a session just call or email me and I will be happy to help.

“Hi Roger, Thank you very much for today, it’s left me in a great mood!” – BD

EFT can help you make remarkable changes in your life

I have been using EFT in my practice for many years now and it never ceases to amaze me how simple and effective this technique is. If you want a technique that you can use and take with you “in your back pocket” wherever you are and whatever circumstances you are in then EFT is the obvious choice.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) has been around now for 20 years and was developed by Gary Craig from Roger Callaghan’s Thought Field Therapy. It is termed as an energy psychology and works by tapping on certain acupressure points around the body whilst verbalising (internally or out loud) the issues you are working on.

It is a favourite technique of mine and often clients will come in with no knowledge of it and I will demonstrate to them without initially explaining it a simple round of tapping on the specific points to see what experience they get. They may look a bit perplexed as we begin the “round” tapping on the side of the hand then tapping with the fingers on 7 points around the body whilst reciting the problem out loud. The interesting thing is that even after one or two rounds which will take only a minute of two at most, their face and body will relax and when I ask them how they feel they will usually say, with a pleasantly surprised look on their face, “well, I seem to feel a bit more relaxed”.
This almost instant reduction in the discomfort of the problem is to me proof that meaningful and powerful change has already begun. We may have only just started the session and the work we will do but now my client is also learning a technique that will help empower them on a daily basis. And this will be a technique they will soon learn and be able to take with them and use without me having to be there. As I say to clients “I don’t know what you will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow any more than I know what I will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow” but if it is something you want to deal with then EFT can help you deal with it on the spot.

The well respected complimentary medicine and nutrition expert, osteopath and best selling author Dr Mercola has written various articles about the benefits of EFT and has a video and information about how effective it can be for relieving stress and tension headaches.

EFT can help with many issues including:

Phobia – Sickness phobia – Animals phobia – Insects phobia
Fear of water – Fear of darkness – Social phobia – Night phobia – Fear of plants – Any simple or complex Phobia
Stress – Anxiety – Tenseness – Insecurity – Nervousness – Anger – Hate – Grief – Depression – Guilt – Feeling incompetent
Fear of abandonment – Fear of the future – Fear of persons – Fear of the unknown – Fear of death
Traumatic memory: Rejection, Failure, Duress, Abandonment, Accident, Abuse, Rape, Love pain
Headache – Nervous stomach-ache – Back pain – Pain in the neck – Carpal tunnel syndrome
Pre-menstrual syndrome – Physical pain with no organic cause – Constipation – Irritable bowel – Jaw tightness
Asthma – Constricted breath – Dyspnoea – Chronic diseases – Hypertension – Hypotension – tachycardia – Arrhythmia
Sexual problems (non organic) – Myopia – Vision problems – Allergies of any kind
Dyslexia – Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) – Learning problems – Low school grades
Panic attacks – Bulimia  – Cravings – Anorexia nervosa – Overeating – Specific food dislike
Drugs – Alcohol – Smoking – Addictive food – Nervous habits
Plus general improvement and happiness in one’s personal and professional life: 

Self-confidence – Self-image – Better relationships – Forgiveness – Procrastination – Goal achievement – Work performance – Sport performance – Personal peace
To find out more about how Emotional Freedom Technique can help you just get in touch and I will be happy help.

Have been meaning to get back to you for ages to say thank you so much for your support with myChronic Fatigue Syndrome. As you know we met just before a very big trip abroad. The two sessions really helped lift my energy levels pretty much from zero to high enough to allow me to pack and get myself to the airport, which was looking a bit doubtful at that point in time.Your techniques supported me throughout the 3 months I was away and I would recommend your methods and support for anyone living with this condition.
Thanks again

EFT attracts more positive media attention

Janey Lee Grace is a popular Radio presenter who worked and presented her own radio show for Virgin Radio and can be heard on Steve Wright’s BBC Radio 2 afternoon show. Someone with many talents she has been a singer, she is a Media Interview Skills coach and her book “Imperfectly Natural Woman” was an instant number 1 best seller on Amazon.

Her keen interest in Holistic and Complimentary therapies including her natural series of hypnotherapy CD’s for natural pregnancy and childbirth led her to investigate EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). She was so impressed with the technique that she took a course and qualified as a practitioner. Her story about how this happened is presented below
https://janeyleegrace.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/tapping-away-eft-styleya-convert.html
EFT is a wonderful therapeutic technique and something more and more practitioners are adding to their repertoire. It is extremely valuable having someone such as Janey Lee Grace to help spread the message about this remarkably simple but amazingly powerful technique.

 

Like everything else it is important to learn how to use it from a good practitioner but once learnt it will serve as an invaluable tool to help you continue to deal with whatever comes up in your life now and in the future. I use it on a regular basis with my clients and have clients from the medical profession and sport and performing arts who continue to use it in their personal life and careers. It has certainly helped change my life and the lives of my clients in many positive ways and continues to do so.

If you would like to know more about how EFT, Hypnosis, NLP and the other powerful techniques I use could help you make amazing changes in your life just call or email me and I will be happy to help you.

Addiction and the reality of addiction

People can become addicted to a wide range of substances and behaviors and these substances and behaviors are often things that most of us partake in on a daily basis. They may be drinking, gambling, sex or drugs and although the majority of us don’t engage in class A drug even food, sugar, prescription drugs are all substances that one can become addicted to in an unhealthy way.

There is plenty of debate around whether addiction is a mental illness or a “brain disease” and it is interesting to note that people can often readily switch from one addiction to another. At AA many in the group may well have switched their addiction from drinking alcohol to smoking and drinking copious amounts of coffee. A shopping addict may turn to gambling. It is not necessarily the particular substance or behavior that is important. Getting the hit is the prize.

In fact an addict is always chasing the experience of their first hit, that almost primal experience that took them out of themselves and the reality of the world they found it hard to be part of. Of course the first hit will never be repeated for intensity and experience so looking to repeat it only continues the cycle.

I work with eating disorders, gambling, prescription drug taking etc. and many of my clients have “done the rounds” of therapies talking about their experiences and being talked to about how to change their lives. However sometimes things can better be “said without saying” which is why I thought it worth posting this video.

Please watch this short video if you or someone you know could be suffering from an addiction

The answers are not in the drug of choice but in our own feelings of self worth and value. Addressing these issues is the first step to freedom from the nightmare of addiction.

 

Are we healing or just “fighting a good fight”

Should we “fight” an illness or heal it?

 

These days we regularly hear phrases such as we will “beat this illness or must “battle” against it. On the surface this fighting talk can sound very positive and help demonstrate that we are not just going to lie down and let ourselves be walked over whatever the odds. This in itself may be no bad thing but are there other unforeseen consequences to using this sort of terminology. A recent study at the University of Lancaster found that using “war metaphors” in the “fight” against cancer may not always be as helpful as it might appear.

How often do we hear that someone has” lost their battle” against a serious illness. This type of terminology is glibly used by media, pundits and experts but does it help the person suffering and does it help people recover or prolong their lives? In fact although these battling terms may be helpful for charities to raise money interestingly Macmillan Cancer Support has consciously held back from this sort of terminology. According to researcher Elena Semino professor of linguistics and verbal art at Lancaster University it is best left to the individual to choose their own metaphors to help them with their illness. It was also found that when battle terminology is applied patients may begin to feel a sense of responsibility if their condition deteriorates.

When we are ill what are we looking for? Health.

Whether one is suffering from an emotional or physical illness are we not looking for good health? And the first four letters of health are HEAL. By healing we are truly mobilising the resources of body and mind in a way that makes so much more sense. If we are in a “struggle” to lose weight implicitly we are in a struggle with ourselves. If we are “fighting” a life threatening disease then we could find ourselves fighting our own body! Will we really be able to muster the energy to “battle” with depression when one’s internal resources seem to be so low?

Anyone who has studied and qualified as a hypnotherapist, counsellor or psychotherapist will have been trained in the use of language and the importance of the words chosen and how how best to use them. Hypnosis uses it’s own particular language patterns and these patterns are designed to bypass the conscious mind and communicate with the unconscious mind. Without this we would have to rely on conscious communication to make a change and as we have all experienced at some time or other the conscious mind knows what we “should” be doing but does not always have the tools to make the required changes. Smokers may know that they want to quit but telling oneself is one thing and doing it is another just as telling ourselves to eat healthy food does not always make it happen.

We are using words constantly when communicating with others and when talking internally to ourselves. But are we really aware of what the message might be that is often hidden behind our thoughts and internal conversation and the effect it is creating? I see healing as the focus to bring together the natural resources of mind and body for real and meaningful change. However using such terms as fight, beat, and struggle could just be setting up an internal conflict that will block the results we are looking for.

For more information on how Hypnotherapy, EFT and NLP could help you please call or email and I will be happy to help.

Hair pulling (Trichotillomania) and how Hypnosis can help

Hypnosis and EFT to help stress and hair pulling issues

Trichotillomania is an emotional disorder similar to OCD. It involves pulling body hairs out, usually one at a time to help experience some form of relaxation or stress relief. Obviously one or two hairs pulled out will not be noticed but continuous hair pulling will soon mean a noticeable bald patch appearing. This will generally add to the distress and hiding the problem becomes another problem in itself. Hair is often pulled from the head but can be from the eyebrows or pubic hair.

The hair pulling can take the form of a ritual, until it feels “just right” or be an automatic, often unconscious action. In psychological terms it may be a way of relieving stress or anxiety, a form of self harm or an addictive behavior that temporarily relieves the symptoms.

As I suggest to clients it is important first to get a medical opinion, however there are various psychological therapies that can be used, hypnosis being one of them. I help treat clients with this issue using hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) NLP and very importantly helping build the clients’ confidence and self worth.

A recent client was a student who was using the hair pulling to relieve stress around her university course and the pressure of exams. She was pulling hair from her eyebrows but after one session had reduced the habit considerably and after three sessions was feeling much less anxious, more confident and happy and had stopped it altogether. As with any addictive or compulsive behavior it is important to be prepared for stress triggers in the future and have in place effective tools to deal with such situations. We all know that no one is immune from stress and that there will be times in our lives when it will be impossible to avoid so being prepared to deal with it effectively when or if it arises is very important.

I find hypnosis and EFT a very powerful combination of therapies that offer clients tools that will last them a lifetime and help them regain and continue to keep control of their lives even when the therapy is concluded.

If you would like to discuss any of these issues just call or email me and I will be happy to chat with you.

Magic phrases to release anxiety in life

Try these 3 Magic Phrases” and let go of anxiety and worry

Do you find yourself worrying about things or feeling anxious without really knowing why? Do you sometimes experience the constant aggravation of uncontrolled thoughts buzzing around your head? I think we all experience this at times but it can get out of hand keeping us distracted during the day and awake at night. We may tell ourselves to stop thinking such thoughts or to try harder to think of something else but that rarely seems to make any difference. So no amount of stern talking to yourself seems to have any effect and in fact may even be making the situation worse! Why is it that these stock phrases and interventions appear to make no difference whatsoever? The reason is that they are all expressed in a way that the conscious mind understands but, as we know, the conscious mind has a lot to say about what we should or shouldn’t be doing but is often short on strategies to actually make the changes we want. Smokers know they want to stop, we might know we want to lose weight and yet we know that there is rarely any value in constant worry but our conscious mind does not always seem to have the tools to make the changes we would like. If it did, there would be no need for hypnotherapy or any therapy at all because we would just give ourselves the message to quit doing or thinking something and the problem would go away like magic!

So how and where can we communicate our needs when we really need to make a change? The answer is with our unconscious mind, our inner mind, the subconscious. Whatever term you use this is a part of you that does not work in logic, formulas or mathematical equations. This part of the mind works with pictures, colours, intuition and is connected to our feelings and instincts and knows how to make changes beyond our conscious awareness. In fact we do not really think consciously because thoughts just seem to appear from our unconscious. Below are my “3 Magic Questions” and they are all aimed at communicating with your creative mind. Because the big obstacle is getting them past the conscious mind they are designed to do that by being formed in a language pattern that the conscious mind does not understand. At first if you read them they may not make a lot of sense but actually they make perfect sense to the creative mind so while the conscious mind is busying itself trying to work out what on earth this could mean the subconscious understands it perfectly! Ask yourself this question, when did you last MAKE yourself feel different about something? All you have to do now is say the phrase to yourself. Just let your unconscious mind work that one out for you. No need to question whether anything has changed or did it work? Your unconscious creative mind knows how to do this and questions put this way are just what it needs to help make a change. This is why hypnotists often use phrases in a way that you would not normally use them in everyday speech. This communication bypasses the conscious mind allowing the information to go straight to the unconscious. Have fun with them and see what happens! My 3 Magic Questions “If my inner mind knows how I would like to feel, how would it do this for me?” “If my inner mind knows how I would like to feel, how would I know that something had changed?” “If my inner mind makes that change now how do I feel?” If you experience chronic and constant worry and anxiety that is really getting in the way of your life then it is a good idea to get professional help starting with your GP. As a Hypnotherapist, NLP and EFT practitioner I am regularly working with clients with anxiety issues with excellent success so if you would like to know more just call 07970218451 or email and I will be very happy to help.

Anxiety, Hypnosis and 3 magic words that can really help you

Anxiety. Hypnosis, EFT, NLP can help anxiety issues

Most of us will have had some experience of anxiety at some point in our lives and that is perfectly normal. Meeting new people, a visit to the dentist or getting prepared for a holiday are just a few example of the type of everyday experiences that may make us feel a bit tense at times. However if anxiety starts to become a constant in our lives that is the time when it is important to address the issues and put into place ways of dealing with it.

In my work I help clients with a large number of issues and have at my disposal a wide range of techniques that I can use depending on the client and their situation. Hypnosis, NLP, EFT and EMDR, are  therapies that are very powerful and can be rapidly effective at helping release conscious and unconscious issues that may be contributing to the discomfort a client may be feeling in their everyday lives. In fact what I really like about using these and the other modalities is that I rarely have to go back into great detail about problems from people’s past that they may wish not to delve into too deeply or often cannot even remember consciously.

Now it can be very valuable to help release the past events or experiences that have contributed to distressing feelings but I have developed strategies that I feel are equally important that clients can use on a daily basis wherever they are and at any given moment in time. Life is naturally constantly “happening” to us and we do not know what we are going to experience or how we are going to feel until we are experiencing in and experiencing a situation. If we have no tools to make adjustments on a moment by moment basis we are missing powerful opportunities to help adjust our moment by moment responses in a positive way. To me the constant effect of the underlying rumble of negative and mildly uncomfortable feelings we experience a day by day often barely in our conscious awareness are just as important to address as the larger issues.

One of my favorite techniques consists of three one syllable words -“Let That Go”. It may seem very simple, and it is, which is the beauty of it, However my clients find that by being able to use this phrase whenever a negative feeling or anxiety occurs it simply helps diminish the uncomfortable emotions which can continue to build up almost in a stealth like way. I feel that having tools to address situations at any
time and in any place are as vitally important as the therapy work done in my office.

It is important to get professional help for an anxiety disorder if you notice it is beginning to diminish the pleasure in your life. Using hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) with an experienced practitioner is in my opinion one of the most effective ways to get oneself back to feeling so much better. If left too long generalized anxiety symptoms can begin to develop into anxiety attacks or panic attacks.

So, if any time you have even a mildly negative experience remember that everything counts and saying “Let That Go” to oneself means that you can start to have more control in how you feel. No one else knows what you are saying and there is no need to wonder if it worked or how different you feel because the positive effects are cumulative and it can be surprising how soon you might start to notice yourself feeling that bit better each day. For me it is a tool for life and I hope you enjoy using it.

For more information on the work I do and how I could help you just call 07970218451 or roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk me and I will be very happy to help.

Hypnotist? Yes, that’s you!

Find out how good a hypnotist you are

Are you familiar with the phrase “post hypnotic suggestion” or “Deep Trance Phenomena”? To a trained hypnotherapist these are hypnosis definitions learnt early on in one’s training but the interesting thing is that you don’t have to be a hypnotist to use them. In fact you might find it very difficult to get through your daily life without accessing either and both of them.

Deep Trance Phenomena describes a variety of states a hypnotist will use or recognise to help a client achieve certain results that they are looking for. Some of the states of DTP could include going back or forward in time (age regression or age progression), time distortion (an experience of speeding up or slowing down of time), or negative hallucination. Now although the terminology may sound quite complex or even a bit weird the experiences are in fact everyday ones that we unconsciously slip in and out of all through the day.

Think of a holiday you enjoyed. Age regression. Think of how slow time can go when you are waiting for something or how quickly when you are engrossed in doing something. Time distortion. And how many times have you looked for something only to find it right in front of you! A negative hallucination. They are happening all the time and we don’t even notice them.

So in fact we are already very experienced at producing these phenomena every day. And what about a post hypnotic suggestion? Well if a hypnotist tells someone in trance that they will be feeling better and better each day it is very likely that as long as the session has covered all the important issues, that person will, without necessarily knowing consciously why, begin to notice an improvement in their well being on a daily basis.

Now what I am getting to here is that it may be very pleasant to be able to have installed the message that you will feel much better every day but have you actually taken any notice of the negative suggestions you may be giving yourself daily. You see, a post hypnotic suggestion is a suggestion that bypasses the conscious mind whilst we are in a hypnotic state, and since we are in fact spending a great deal of our time in some sort of trance or other our self talk can very easily become a post hypnotic suggestion and bypass our conscious radar.

So next time you find yourself saying such things as “I’m no good at that”, “things always seem to go wrong”, “people don’t seem to like me” or similar, (the list is endless!) be aware that you could well be planting the seed of all the experiences you don’t want because you will have given yourself a posthypnotic suggestion. See how good a hypnotist you are!!

If you would like to find out how you can reprogramme your self talk, your inner thoughts, and in fact your whole life in an amazing, positive and fulfilling way do give me a call (07970218451) or Email Roger.   To see all services on the website, please click here.