Why do New Year Resolutions often fail?

New Year Resolution

Happy New Year everybody. (January 2022)

Have you made a resolution yet? We are all definitely going to the gym every single day from now on,we are going to  stop eating those chocolate cakes and we are giving up the ciggies! Yes?

Luckily I don’t smoke and I exercise at home but.. chocolate. Hmm. See why I don’t normally make New Year Resolutions? Because like you I know how easy it is to break them and forget them.

So why do New Year Resolutions fail and why is it a smoker finds it so hard to stop doing something that they know is ruining their health and taking their hard earned money? They have probably tried to stop various times but have succumbed to temptation and soon been back to where they left off or worse. And why is it that by the end of January that daily visit to the gym is just a distant memory or those chocolate cakes that we struggled to “not buy” for three weeks seem to have magically appeared back in the cupboard?

One of the biggest reasons is that if we only use our conscious mind to make the change then we are missing out on a very important part of our mind that can help us make these changes easier, quicker and permanently. (And we all want it sorted quicker and easier don’t we?) The part that we are probably not using is our unconscious creative mind.

The unconscious creative sounds a bit scary or strange doesn’t it but in fact you have an unconscious creative mind that you are using all the time. If you want to get a newspaper you will start by creating a picture of the newspaper shop in your mind (think about it, it’s there already isn’t it?). Otherwise you would not be able to get there or even know you wanted a newspaper. Your unconscious mind is in charge of a massive proportion of the information you are experiencing every moment in your daily life which leaves you free to get on with making the everyday decisions that we all make in our lives. For instance which TV programme do I want to watch!

So here are a few answers to questions that you may have been asking yourself about hypnosis, and connecting with the unconscious mind to help you make effective and powerful change.

Question: So how can I engage that part of me and use it to make change?

Answer: There are lots of different ways and going into a trance (if you are in trance you are in hypnosis) is one of the most powerful.

Question: How do I go into a trance?

Answer: Just close your eyes right now and imagine a very relaxing and pleasant picture or feeling. There you are; do that and you have already engaged the alpha waves in your brain which are a sign that you are slipping into a daydream or trance. We are doing it all the time.

Question: Hypnosis? Won’t I be doing something that puts me under someone else’s control?

Answer: No, hypnosis is a natural state and we are all in various states of trance during the day. Hypnosis is just a method of utilising and channeling that experience in a way that works for you. You will create your own particular creative experience to make the change. Some people will use pictures, some sounds, some feelings or a mixture of all three. The therapist is just there to help guide the client into their own modality of creating change.

Question: Is it really that simple?

Answer: Yes. It certainly can be as many of my clients will testify. However it is important when making this change (or any other change you want) to have the firm decision that you really intend it to work and will do whatever is required to achieve your aim. Once that mindset is in place then it really does not matter whether you think you have very little willpower or that you never managed to achieve your goal before. Your unconscious creative mind is your real powerhouse of change.

If you would like more information or to book an appointment then please call or email me and I will be very happy to help.

Can Hypnotherapy, EFT and EMDR help the yips?

Hypnotherapy EFT

In 2016, winner of 4 Majors and 300 top ten finishes,world famous golfer Ernie Els took six putts to get the ball in the hole at the Masters.

What was his problem? He had a bout of the Yips.

The yips is a golfing term that is usually but not always part of a putting problem whereby any golfer, pro or amateur can have the profoundly disturbing experience of finding the putter being “unconsciously wrenched from it’s intended path” and colliding with the ball in a completely different direction to the one intended.

However it’s not just golfers who can suffer from this experience but snooker players, musicians, darts and bowls players are just a few of the professionals and amateurs who can suddenly find all the delicately honed practice they have done becoming completely unstuck when they attempt to execute that important movement they have been practicing for a lifetime.

Scottish golfer Tommy Armour described the yips as “a brain spasm that impairs the short game” although once a player starts to experience this it is not unusual for it to take root in other parts of their game as well. Even Tiger Woods went through a rough patch with what appeared to be this issue with his short game chipping at one time.So what is going on? Well there are various theories and all I think, have some truth in them.

1/ The brain in effect sends a contradictory message to the body like a “short” across an electrical connection.

2/ That it is caused by anxiety.

3/ It is a form of “Focal Dystonia” a neurological condition that causes involuntary muscular contractions.

As a hypnotherapist it is important for me to look at all the possible reasons and circumstances that are causing the issue but at the end of the day everyone is different. Working on the yips with golfers, bowlers, rifle competitors and snooker players etc. my aim is to find each individual’s unique problem whether a misfire in the “electrical system”, a lack of confidence and/or the remnants of some past experience that has lodged itself in the nervous system. And even all three.

Using a powerful range of trance based tools such as Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, NLP and EMDR, has given me marvelous and empowering tools that have helped so many clients find the way forward with this issue while still fine tuning this work to an individual’s internal thinking and experience of themselves. And that’s when the changes take place. If you would like to know more please visit my website rogerfoxwell.co.uk Sessions are available online, by phone, and at my office in Glasgow, Scotland

Why it’s hard to lose weight only using will power and what you can do about it

Weight Loss

Hypnosis – Emotional Freedom Technique – NLP

It takes a lot of energy and continued vigilance to use the conscious mind to help with weight loss, and the chances for long term success are, as we all know, not good. Dieting is notorious for being able to achieve short term results but not necessarily so good for the long term. Counting calories is difficult and it is hard work to keep the momentum going.

Although making any worthwhile change is likely to need some will power finding the most efficient and successful option is especially important for weight control.

Hypnosis is a favourite way to change old habits and replace them with new healthy ones. However we have to know how to engage the brain chemicals we want and disengage the ones we don’t want.

Sounds complicated but with the right information it can be done. Serotonin, Dopamine, Endorphins and Oxytocin are all “feel good chemicals” being constantly triggered in the body. We just aren’t always consciously aware when they are operating and how to make them work to our advantage.

Dopamine gives us a “feel good” hit. But what we don’t always have is a buffer to first check if this is a healthy dopamine fix or just a short term gain? The question we must ask is am I going to enjoy that hit in a healthy way or am I just fuelling an addiction? Our brains are wired to look for dopamine hits but our brains are not always listening to our cognitive thinking process. We need to be able to weigh up whether something is healthy for us or not and be able to act on that information.

By eating that chocolate or doughnut when we feel sad, disappointed or bored we have been getting our shot of dopamine. But that is a fake hit that literally will continually need feeding. And unfortunately it will be followed by regret and an unpleasant shot of cortisol that tells us we have failed again.

The key is knowing how to recognise these “feel good chemicals” (feelings) and be able to respond appropriately by using them to our advantage. If we can do this then we will start to have some control over our unconscious thinking processes and achieve much better results.

Hypnosis, EFT and NLP are great tools to help us engage in this sort of work. They help our mind and body coordinate and connect so we can make powerful unconscious changes. This does not mean that we just close our eyes and it all happens. An important part of exploring these good feelings is our own engagement in the process.

So knowing how to engage your happy chemicals you will be able to engage your will power. This will really help you achieve the results you have been looking for. Knowing how to use these brain chemicals in the best way for your personal health and satisfaction will help you make more of the healthy choices you deserve.

Covid-19 stress and anxiety

These are troubling times for all of us and there will be very few people in the world not experiencing some form of stress or anxiety over the Coronavirus situation. One of the hardest parts is the “not knowing”. Not knowing how long it will go on for, what the future will bring even after it is over and of course how best to keep ourselves and loved ones safe and healthy.

Unfortunately there really are no quick and easy answers to these questions but in the meantime the priority is to look after ourselves and those around us as best we can.

Below I am offering a relaxation sequence that will only take 3 minutes or so to do but in my experience will help you reach a level of relaxation that hypnosis and meditation would normally take 15 to 20 minutes to reach.

I put it together this January (2020) from material I had been using very successfully with clients and was pleasantly surprised at it’s effectiveness plus we don’t always have 20 minutes or so to do the longer hypnosis sequences.

I hope you enjoy it. I will be putting out a YouTube video in the near future but here are the instructions.

 

3 Step 3 Minute Deep Relax

(Use when in a safe relaxing place and do not use when driving)

1.

Sit or lie comfortably. Place your right hand over your heart

Close your eyes and take 10 slow, easy abdomen breaths (lips closed in and out if you can) noticing the breath starting from the abdomen and the gentle rise and fall of your chest

2.

Continue slow breathing for another 10 breaths, this time breathing in through the nose (if possible) and out through gently pursed lips with a “Pheeew” sound on each out breath. (Lips as if you were slightly about to whistle on each “Phew”)

3.

Continue with another 10 slow abdomen breaths, eyes closed, and gently whisper and repeat to yourself or out loud, numbers starting with I on the out breath then two on the second out breath and so on up to the 10th breath.

With each number sounding like a ball bouncing less and less until it comes to rest it will go like this –

Breath in – then on out breath say– 111111111….. 

– Second out breath say 2222222222…….

– Third breath say      3333333333….

4………

5……… Etc. .

……and on up to 10

You can of course extend the number of breaths or reduce them depending on how long you have.

I recommend using this 3 times a day for the first week or so, and then when you begin to experience more relaxation throughout the day use it once a day 3– 5 days a week. (or of course any time you like)

Also use it to get to sleep or if you wake up and want to get back to sleep or just sitting or lying down.

 

Until the CV issue is past there are no face to face sessions at my office though online and telephone sessions are always available as usual

www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk                   roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk

Copyright 15 01 2020

Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy

Therapist

Is a Therapist a Life Coach and is a Life Coach a Therapist?

Well yes and no.

A Therapist will need therapy credentials to be able to set up their practice and a Life Coach will presumably have been through certain training before setting up their practice.

The more I have developed my Hypnotherapy practice and brought in various other trance based modalities the more I realise how much EVERYTHING COUNTS. For instance if I am working with a business client who feels nervous giving a presentation then one of the many things I need to offer that client are tools to manage their anxiety otherwise all their valuable work could be overwhelmed by their fear of public speaking. On the other hand if I am a Life Coach helping a business client feel comfortable in these situations they also will require to offer, for example voice projection and presentation tools. And so here we begin to see that success for the client is supported by both the coaching aspect and the therapy aspect of their treatment.

When I continued to bring in more techniques and tools that covered more eventualities the results began to speak for themselves.

So I found myself joining tools for life coaching and tools for therapy together. As they say, “you only get one chance to make a good impression” whether it is interviewing for a job or speaking to a few hundred people in a packed auditorium. To grasp that opportunity how much better to have a powerful selection of tools, coaching and therapy, that cover as many eventualities as possible.

Some people are looking for coaching to help them and some are looking for therapy to help them. Yet Hypnosis, Life Coaching and Therapy can begin to easily and fluidly become one and the same thing. Trance is a state of Hypnosis and Life Coaching is a form of therapy. Hypnosis is a state of trance and therapy is a form of Life Coaching.

Everything overlaps and extending one’s skills in overlapping areas will help give clients more information and power to develop the changes they are looking for.

Some people will be looking for a Life Coach and some for a Hypnotherapist but where does one end and the other begin. The titles may be different but the real differences are more likely to be in the personalities and specialties of each practitioner.

So the best advice is first look for recommendations you can trust. Engage your intuition to help you get the best match for you and your issue whether a Therapist, Hypnotherapist or Life Coach.

Or perhaps you would like all three?

HYPNOSIS and what really happens in a hypnotherapy session

Hypnotherapy Session

So you’ve been watching videos and television clips of hypnotists at work and with a command to “SLEEP” or a tug of the arm the person in front of them flops down on the couch, becomes totally rooted to the spot or they completely forget their name.

Amazing, you think to yourself. If I go see a hypnotherapist I could have my smoking habit, my anxiety and my phobia sorted by lunchtime and I will be a new person!

Does it really happen like this?

Well yes and no.

Yes, I have clients who after we have been working in a session for a while who, for a few moments, can’t remember what their issue was. However this means the issue is now not in the forefront of their mind so we are making good progress. Or some who are already drifting into a trance as we continue talking. I may at that part of the session have to reorient them “back into the room” since that may not be the best moment for that particular state to engage. Or later, after doing a deep body relax they quite probably feel so comfortable that they might not want to open their eyes. I will then suggest they take their time “as they come back into the room.”

What is happening? We will be engaging certain states of mind that will have been appropriately introduced depending on what we are working on. Sometimes a client may only be in “eyes closed” for few moments during a full session. But we will be choosing the trance just as you unconsciously are choosing your own trance as you read this post or when you drive your car.

I remember a client telling me he didn’t think he had been hypnotised so I asked him “and what did I say?” Looking a bit perplexed he said “I don’t know”.

Hypnosis or trance is happening all the time within us. Even the organising of the words in this post are designed to attract the attention in a way that helps draw you and your imagination into the story. To facilitate change we must harness the creative and cognitive parts of our mind to work together. This skill will help us achieve the changes and goals in life we are looking for.

The job of the hypnotherapist is to give clients the tools that they can use to enable them to engage their own inner knowledge and “arrange their own story” in the very best way they can for the future.

And, by the way, enjoy the process at the same time.

Hypnosis, Mind Coaching, Performance Enhancement and Life

Hypnosis

 

Hypnosis EFT and NLP can help enhance your sport, your life and your career

Tennis star Johanna Konta has come back from a slump in her performance and is looking in very good form for the 2019 Wimbledon tournament.

So what is it that has been influencing this resurgence in her form? An important part of the answer seems to be that working with her new Mind Coach, Lorenzo Beltrame, is helping get her game back on track.

Sadly her previous mind coach Juan Coto died at the end of 2016, aged just 47, and from that time Konta’s results began to gradually decline until  Beltrame took up the mantle which has coincided with her latest upsurge in form.

The vast majority of sports people these days take very seriously the fact that working on the mental side of the game can make a tremendous difference to results. I work regularly with sports and performing arts clients, professional and amateur but also, a large number of my clients see me to help deal with their daily life issues of anxiety, stress, depression and confidence etc.

Interestingly I have found more and more that there really is not as much difference as one might think between the techniques and strategies we need to perform in a sporting context as the techniques and strategies we need to perform to our best in actual life situations. There are just three words that the brain is evaluating at all times that govern how comfortable we feel not, only on the big stage but in our everyday life.

Those three words are “am I safe”.

If you can turn “am I safe” into “I am safe”, whether you are on the tennis court at Wimbledon or in your everyday life the payback can be immense. 

There are many empowering and fascinating ways to do this and if you would like more information about how you could make the changes in your life you deserve please feel free to contact me. 

 

How hypnosis can help sleep issues and tips to help yourself

Slip Issue

Help yourself to sleep

How do we get to sleep? If you are a good sleeper you really don’t even have to think about that question. As soon as your head hits the pillow you will take a nice comfortable breath, your eyes will close and you will be fast asleep for eight hours or so with no problem.

However the rest of us will be thinking, tossing and turning and staring into the darkness wondering just what the simple trick can be that everyone else seems to know that we don’t.

The answer is that generally there is no simple trick. However with a little patience there is plenty we can do to help find that magic place of night time rest.

Now if you have exhausted all the practical (and important) tips about getting a better mattress, the right pillows for your sleeping style, blackout curtains, ear plugs, etc where do you go next?

So here are a few more things you can do to help in your search for a good night’s sleep.

I recently had a client in who was understandably getting really angry with the whole situation but obviously this was just compounding the situation. The last thing we want to do is be in a state of high anxiety and the first thing we need to do is find ways to quieten and distract the mind. If you are one for berating yourself and everything to do with this problem all night, then you will never allow your mind and body to get into the relaxed state you need to be in so that you can get a night’s rest.

In these instances look for things that will help you relax such as listen to some gentle sleep music, or use the meditation breathing method of bringing your awareness to your breath as you focus on the cool air entering and the warm air being exhaled through your nostrils. If you even just try that now you will be surprised how with as little as two or three breaths there is a subtle relaxation in your awareness and a quietening of the mind.

Another thing to do is focus your awareness on perhaps your left hand and arm and notice how heavy they actually are. Then see if, in your mind you can make them even heavier. Go around the body, the other arm, each leg, your head and quietly play with that feeling in your imagination and physically.

If you are not into yoga or familiar with abdominal breathing research it on youtube then practise in bed just being aware of the gentle rise and fall of the abdomen with each breath. I would avaoid deep breathing and concentrate on very light breathing. After all when we are sitting quietly we only need just over a cup’s worth of breath each time we breath. See how quiet and small you can comfortably make your breathing.

All of these strategies are designed to gently quieten the body and mind and prepare us for relaxation and sleep.

Some would say the difference between hypnosis and sleep is that in hypnosis the body goes to sleep but the mind is (on another level) still alert and when we sleep mind and body both relax to a similar extent. Hypnosis is a great way to learn how to quieten the mind.

In my experience to change any long standing bad sleeping pattern one has to be prepared to allow as much time as the body and mind need to change the old ingrained habits. Also with this patience comes awareness of the subtle changes. If you have been waking up at 3am to find yourself waking at 4am that actually signals to you a positive change is happening and each subtle change is another step forward. Then you know you are making “the difference that makes the difference.” It is not unusual for a client to turn things around in one or two sessions and my aim is to give them the tools that will help them continue the changes they are looking for in the long term.

So you think you know what Hypnosis is?

 

Or do you?

There are so many different descriptions of the state of hypnosis that even hypnotists and hypnotherapists will have their own definitions of hypnosis. As hypnotherapists we tend to define it more in relation to the particular way we do our work.

I could put someone into a relaxing trance. Or mesmerise them with the positive changes they could make in their lives. Or hypnotise them so they can recall or forget to remember a past memory.

Although the typical picture of someone in hypnosis will be eyes closed and seemingly fast asleep on a reclining chair I tend to favour the word trance since we are all experiencing different states of trance on a daily basis. The American term “Highway Hypnosis” sums up how we can be wide awake but in a trance at the same time, even when safely driving.

In fact reading the heading at the top of this post will put you in a light trance as your mind diverts itself from the first question and just for a fleeting moment responds to the second question with “or do I?”

Did you go into a state of hypnosis, trance, focused awareness or heightened imagination? Or perhaps you were expecting to be told to forget something or repeat an action or remember something from the past.

“And” (a hypnotist’s favourite word because it simply and easily joins each point with a natural flow) as you were reading the previous sentence your mind was probably taking you very rapidly through all sorts of mental pictures, thoughts and conundrums.

So does it matter whether it is hypnosis, hypnotherapy, mesmerism, sleep, autosuggestion, trance or focused awareness? The interesting thing is that in reality we will automatically find ourselves using our natural favoured way of dreaming, or daydreaming. Everyone has their preferred way of going into trance and will be unconsciously using it throughout the day.

That’s the way the brain works.

We just go there and that is a place that knows a lot about you.

It does, doesn’t it?

Hypnosis, Trance, and the Vagus Nerve

The Vagus nerve

Vagus in Latin means “wandering” and most of us will have heard of the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic divisions of the nervous system but perhaps not the Vagus nerve.

This nerve, which has only scientifically been researched in more depth over the last 20 years, is critical to our physical and emotional feelings of well being as beneath our awareness it efficiently and smoothly sends messages to the brain, gut, heart and other organs of the body. So the fact that it is “in touch” with so many of our vital organs tells us how vitally important it is.

The relatively recent research of Stephen Porges has brought to our attention the pivotal role this superhighway has on every area of our body and therefore our life.

So what does it do for us?

When the vagus nerve is operating at it’s best it is connecting the messages from our organs, our thoughts, our conscious and our unconscious into one smooth multi level pathway of health, calm and ease on a daily basis.

And isn’t that what we have been looking for?

A few of the issues toning the Vagus Nerve can help with

Anxiety

Digestion

Blood pressure

Memory

Reducing inflammation

Panic attacks

Stress

Voice issues

Sound too good to be true?

Well my research and work on myself and clients has really helped take what I do up another level. Resolving past issues, helping the body operate physically with more balance and connection, quicker healing, less anxiety and more pleasure and satisfaction in life are major goals that most of us would like to aim for.

What can I do to tone my Vagus Nerve?

  1. Humming, Singing

  2. Heart Rate Variability breathing – High Coherence Breathing. (Heart Math)

  3. Simple crossing the Mid line Exercises eg BrainGym

  4. Gargling – anything that stimulates your vocal cords is good.

  5. Meditation – Loving kindness meditation

  6. Washing your face with icy water–cold water on your face stimulates the vagus nerve–remember this next time you’re feeling really stressed out.

  7. Emotional Freedom Technique and Hypnosis

My work building a raft of trance based techniques including Hypnosis, NLP and Emotional Freedom Technique has been dedicated to helping clients move forward in their lives. The addition of working with and toning the Vagus Nerve has been another major addition to helping clients access even more meaningful and simple yet empowering tools that they can use on a daily basis to help turn their lives around.

If you would like to know more just email or call me and I will be very happy to help.