Workplace bullying

Workplace Bullying

Dealing with workplace bullying 

The dictionary definition of a bully is “A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker”

Any sort of bullying is pretty despicable and there has recently been a lot of media talk about bullying in the workplace.

First of all it is important that anyone who thinks they may be being bullied carefully organises their strategies by logging incidents, getting help from their union and keeping as best one can everything on a professional level.

Bullying at work can include sexual harassment, spreading rumors, undermining someone’s work and can be perpetrated face to face, by email, letter or phone. This constant undermining of someone’s personality and competence is likely to have a severely detrimental effect on the victim’s self esteem and ability to carry out their work efficiently.

However bullies are generally pretty weak and cowardly individuals and will soon back off when they are shown that we are not prepared to put up with this type of intimidation.

So how does one turn this around and wipe that seemingly indelible word “victim” from our forehead that seems to unconsciously attract this unpleasant sort of person?

 

One way of looking at it is that the bully is acting from their child self and therefore it is easy for them to spot someone else who may also be acting from their child self. So the bully is behaving as if they were perhaps 14 years old and they have spotted a victim who is unconsciously coming from perhaps their 8 year old self.

Now we all can unconsciously at times interact from our younger selves and someone who lacks confidence may really feel stuck in that past time frame without even being aware of it. Unfortunately bullies have an innate ability to spot this, also without consciously knowing it so will home in on their prey knowing that they are unlikely to get any trouble back from someone who is lacking in confidence.

So the point here is the importance of not only taking your issue through the appropriate channels but also to find techniques and strategies that build up confidence and self esteem in a healthy and empowering manner. We all have our younger parts of us that have helped us develop into the person we have become but your 8 year old doesn’t want to be dealing with awkward people with misplaced egos in the office. Our 8 year old just wants to play. It is our full grown up self that has the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to handle the sort of situations grown ups handle.

 

So learning and developing strategies that will help us feel comfortable and empowered in our full grown up self will help us deal with these situations in a much more grown up and effective way. Once the bully unconsciously recognises there is a change of dynamics and energy nine times out of ten they will soon back away. The most important thing is that you will become your full authentic self and confidently take on that knowledge, wisdom and experience that is yours. I have seen a complete change in body language and energy within just ten minutes when a client literally steps into that full self that is theirs to take with them.

If you have been suffering from any sort of bullying and would like to discuss any of the points in this post just call or email me and I will be happy to help.

Hypnosis and EFT can help heal your past

Heal Your Past

Are you afraid of your past?

We all have a past and we all have “baggage” from our past but are those past experiences holding you back from connecting with the person inside that is “trying to get out”?

Many people do a wonderful job of getting on with their lives even though they may have experienced trauma or abuse in childhood or later. And many are getting on with their lives but unfortunately still stuck with feelings of guilt, shame, anger and fear.

I never cease to be amazed at the resilience of the human psyche, however if one can begin to heal these past scars and reclaim the real, authentic and confident self that you know could be “you” what difference would that make to your life now and in the future?

The problem here is that these experiences can be “tucked” safely away in our unconscious and the thought of going to therapy and bringing everything back into the conscious mind may seem too much to even contemplate. And I really do understand that.

Many survivors of an abusive past will go for counselling or psychotherapy to talk through these past issues and this can help bring resolution, but what if the thought of going over and over and sharing all the uncomfortable details of your past with someone you don’t know feels far too intimidating and frightening?

Well there are other options, and therapies using Self Hypnosis confidence and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can be a very powerful way of getting your life back and helping yourself to enjoy your life so much more and leaving behind that shame, anger and fear without having to go through it all again. And why would you want to “go through it all again”?

 

Now this is not to say that all hypnotherapists and EFT practitioners will use these techniques in a “content free” way so you will need to discuss with the therapist how they work before committing yourself.

I have found that the more I work in these areas with clients the less of the background details I need to know and interestingly the more I work in this “content free” way the more effective the changes become. If a client wishes to tell their story then that is fine but sometimes it is just too painful or we may not even consciously remember anything about it because we have safely repressed that information and trying to unearth it would probably not be a good idea anyway.

Using EFT and hypnotherapist glasgow in specific ways designed to help clients unconsciously release bad memories is often remarkably effective and I have seen clients achieve massive changes in confidence and self esteem within one or two sessions with very little discussion about their past and how it made them feel. An important part of the work is releasing that connection but releasing so that one can become free to build a life that looks forward instead of back.

So what I am saying here is that my experience tells me that releasing trauma and difficult past experience does not need to be a long and painful drawn out affair. You really can put space between you and the past in a healthy and safe way with the absolute minimum of discomfort.

If you feel your future is being blighted by your past then you can call or email me and I will be happy to discuss this with you.

Have you pressed your “Like” button today?

Now, this could be my shortest post yet and it could also be the shortest and simplest way to help you on your way to finding much more pleasure in your life.

Question. How much time do you spend on Facebook? (Just skip this if you’re not on Facebook, it won’t matter!) How often do you “like” someone’s post? How often do you receive a message saying someone “Likes” your post. How does that make you feel?

Now if you want to create more pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction in your life start to notice today, starting right now any small pleasurable experience however seemingly insignificant, any satisfying achievement that happens and just press your own internal “Like” button. This simple thought process will send a subtle but powerful surge of Alpha (dreamy) waves through your brain and you just rewired your brain right?

As a hypnotherapist and mind coach, clients come to see me to help them change their experience of the world they are in. How can we do that?

A/ By letting go of past issues that are keeping us stuck where we are.

B/ By reorganising our thinking patterns which in turn rewires our brain.

Do this on a daily basis and see what happens. Start right now.

Press your own “LIKE” button.

(And press it twice if you liked this post!)

Are you talking “Absolute Turnip”?

Have you thought about changing your thoughts?

Andy Murray competing in the 2016 French Open tennis quarter finals was heard to shout “Absolute Turnip” to himself as he fought to break the serve of big hitter John Isner. Apparently this is a phrase he has been using for a few years now, presumably for shots that were not his best and it certainly worked on this occasion.

However, how often during the day do we talk to ourselves and are we really listening to what we say to ourselves carefully? Pretty much everything we say to ourselves will have some unconscious effect on our perception of ourselves and our skills. It may not be enough for us to notice any immediate difference but the “drip, drip” effect of this self talk can easily make a big difference to our confidence and self esteem over time.

Now we may find it amusing to call ourselves or our tennis game “absolute turnip” but remember that your unconscious mind is listening to everything you say and may not be translating it the way you expect.

Have you ever told a child “now don’t drop those plates”? Seems to be very good advice and a very good suggestion. But what message does the unsuspecting youngster hear first? Drop the plates!! Why, because the brain will first do a quick rehearsal of “drop the plates” before adding in “don’t”. Too late! The plates are on the floor and broken before the conscious mind has a chance to save the situation.

There is a very good book “Your body believes every word you say” and if we think about it for a moment we cannot have an emotional feeling without a physical reaction any more than we can experience something physical without some sort sort of emotional experience. Plus, our mind is constantly making decisions for us before we know we have even thought of them. This is a very useful thing since this leaves the prefrontal cortex free to make our executive decisions and operate hopefully with our best interests in mind, while we carry on doing our everyday tasks like walking downstairs or washing up.

So it’s well worth paying a little more attention to your “self talk” bearing in mind that there are lots of different parts of you listening to what you say and interpreting that information perhaps not in the way you expect. Maybe saying our tennis is “absolute turnip” is no big deal but saying derogatory statements about ourselves and our skills certainly is. We all deserve better so make sure you do a bit of weeding around that unconscious vegetable patch and grow some more positive thoughts. It really will make a difference.

EFT can help you make remarkable changes in your life

EFT can help

I have been using EFT in my practice for many years now and it never ceases to amaze me how simple and effective this technique is. If you want a technique that you can use and take with you “in your back pocket” wherever you are and whatever circumstances you are in then EFT is the obvious choice.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) has been around now for 20 years and was developed by Gary Craig from Roger Callaghan’s Thought Field Therapy. It is termed as an energy psychology and works by tapping on certain acupressure points around the body whilst verbalising (internally or out loud) the issues you are working on.

It is a favourite technique of mine and often clients will come in with no knowledge of it and I will demonstrate to them without initially explaining it a simple round of tapping on the specific points to see what experience they get. They may look a bit perplexed as we begin the “round” tapping on the side of the hand then tapping with the fingers on 7 points around the body whilst reciting the problem out loud. The interesting thing is that even after one or two rounds which will take only a minute of two at most, their face and body will relax and when I ask them how they feel they will usually say, with a pleasantly surprised look on their face, “well, I seem to feel a bit more relaxed”.
This almost instant reduction in the discomfort of the problem is to me proof that meaningful and powerful change has already begun. We may have only just started the session and the work we will do but now my client is also learning a technique that will help empower them on a daily basis. And this will be a technique they will soon learn and be able to take with them and use without me having to be there. As I say to clients “I don’t know what you will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow any more than I know what I will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow” but if it is something you want to deal with then EFT can help you deal with it on the spot.

The well respected complimentary medicine and nutrition expert, osteopath and best selling author Dr Mercola has written various articles about the benefits of EFT and has a video and information about how effective it can be for relieving stress and tension headaches.

EFT can help with many issues including:

Phobia – Sickness phobia – Animals phobia – Insects phobia
Fear of water – Fear of darkness – Social phobia – Night phobia – Fear of plants – Any simple or complex Phobia
Stress – Anxiety – Tenseness – Insecurity – Nervousness – Anger – Hate – Grief – Depression – Guilt – Feeling incompetent
Fear of abandonment – Fear of the future – Fear of persons – Fear of the unknown – Fear of death
Traumatic memory: Rejection, Failure, Duress, Abandonment, Accident, Abuse, Rape, Love pain
Headache – Nervous stomach-ache – Back pain – Pain in the neck – Carpal tunnel syndrome
Pre-menstrual syndrome – Physical pain with no organic cause – Constipation – Irritable bowel – Jaw tightness
Asthma – Constricted breath – Dyspnoea – Chronic diseases – Hypertension – Hypotension – tachycardia – Arrhythmia
Sexual problems (non organic) – Myopia – Vision problems – Allergies of any kind
Dyslexia – Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) – Learning problems – Low school grades
Panic attacks – Bulimia  – Cravings – Anorexia nervosa – Overeating – Specific food dislike
Drugs – Alcohol – Smoking – Addictive food – Nervous habits
Plus general improvement and happiness in one’s personal and professional life: 

Self-confidence – Self-image – Better relationships – Forgiveness – Procrastination – Goal achievement – Work performance – Sport performance – Personal peace
To find out more about how Emotional Freedom Technique can help you just get in touch and I will be happy help.

Have been meaning to get back to you for ages to say thank you so much for your support with myChronic Fatigue Syndrome. As you know we met just before a very big trip abroad. The two sessions really helped lift my energy levels pretty much from zero to high enough to allow me to pack and get myself to the airport, which was looking a bit doubtful at that point in time.Your techniques supported me throughout the 3 months I was away and I would recommend your methods and support for anyone living with this condition.
Thanks again

Hypnosis Helps

Hypnosis Helps

What else can hypnosis help me with?

The issues that immediately spring to mind when considering hypnotherapy are stopping smoking, phobias and weight loss. However there are a surprising number of other conditions that hypnosis can help resolve or at the very least assist in experiencing a better quality of life. In fact there is are few issues that hypnotherapy will not have some form of positive effect on in one way or another. Even the stress and pain of a serious physical problem can be alleviated to some degree with hypnosis. In fact I saw a cancer patient last year and we did some deep relaxation hypnosis and he could not believe how good it felt to just go in his mind to a place of wonderful quiet and relaxation after all the anxiety and troubles that he had been through. A lady with scoliosis and persistent pain since she could remember found she could now enjoy sitting with her daughter right through a television programme without having to continually get up and leave the room just to alleviate the discomfort she had been experiencing.

Other areas that hypnosis can help achieve powerful results in are eating disorders, alcoholism and gambling. These are always notoriously tricky areas for therapists of any modality to treat. However if a client is ready to make a change I have found extremely good results can be achieved using hypnosis. The difference is that hypnosis works via the unconscious creative mind. When given the right tools and information to work with, the creative mind is able to make powerful changes where the conscious mind may have failed. Virtually every smoker knows consciously that they would like to stop but the conscious mind does not always have the tools to make this change. The unconscious creative mind has a different set of tools and is reached by accessing the slower alpha and delta waves the brain generates when we enter a trance state. This part of our mind tends to drive the right side of the brain, the “artist”, whilst the left side is driven more by the “accountant”. There is obviously a lot more to it but you can understand that your accountant is invaluable when it comes to presenting your accounts at the end of the year but you would not commission your accountant to paint a Michelangelo fresco on your ceiling! It is the creative part in us that more often than not holds the key to achieving change where other attempts have failed.

Because our psychological and physical health is so intertwined there is much that can be done to help problems such as Dystonia and my personal view on this issue is that although it is a physical manifestation dystonia can be linked to past programmes that are running unconsciously and creating an internal conflict. Focal Dystonia is a form of dystonia found in musicians and this is obviously career threatening when your fingers will not obey your brain. Similarly so with “the yips” which golfers can suffer from when putting. Here again past experiences can be exerting an unconscious resistance or interference between the muscles and the messages form the brain. Tourettes has a similar effect and there have been many instances of hypnosis massively alleviating the twitches and uncontrolled impulse that result in the sufferer finding themselves unable to prevent shouting out profanities or unintelligible noises in public. Performance, public speaking, procrastination, confidence and anxiety are amongst the many areas I help my clients on a daily basis. They often come to me having tried everything else knowing at using hypnotherapy can bring very rapid results and results that last.

Below is a list of just some of the issues hypnotherapists can help with so whatever the problem locate a qualified and expert practitioner to find out how they could help.

Addictions * Alcohol abuse * Anger management Anxiety * Blushing Bruxism Chronic Fatigue Syndrome * Depression * Drug abuse * Eating disorders * Exam nerves Fear of flying Food addiction * Gambling addiction * Insomnia * Internet addiction * Irritable Bowel Syndrome Low self-confidence * Low self-esteem Obsessions and compulsions * Panic attacks * Phobias * Post-traumatic stress disorder * Public speaking Quit smoking Relationship issues Sex addiction * Sexual issues * Sleep disorders * Sports performance Stress * Stuttering * Weight-loss *

Always check with your medical practitioner if you have any of the * issues above before starting complimentary treatment.   For more information just call me on 07970218451 or email me and I will be happy to help you and discuss what positive changes hypnosis could make for you and your life.

Hypnosis can help release you from the traumas of bullying

Traumas of Bullying

Have you been bullied? Hypnosis, NLP and EFT can help you achieve the life and confidence you really deserve.

Over the years I have worked with many clients who have been bullied at school or in the workplace. Some are in their middle age or older and some not long out of University. Some may come to see me about that issue itself and others will find that as we go through a session their past history of being bullied is a large part of the blocks that have been keeping them from achieving their goals and feeling confident and positive about themselves.

Bullying can take various forms including school bullying, work bullying and cyber bullying. Much aggressive behaviours can also come under the category of bullying. Bullying can be social, verbal or physical and may involve threats, taunts, embarrassment and even unsavoury gestures.

The long term effects of being bullied can be devastating and lead to depression, loneliness, lack of confidence and self esteem and sometimes the risk of suicide.

The good thing is that normally it really does not take a great deal of time to shift the old emotional wounds around the experience of having been bullied that will have often blighted people’s lives for many years. Using the appropriate techniques skillfully really helps clients make a massive turn around in their confidence and self-esteem.

Sometimes with this sort of work clients may initially feel worried that they will have to re experience and go through all the details of past uncomfortable ordeals. This need not be the case and the tools I use are deigned to achieve a rapid and permanent resolution with no, or very little discomfort. Also it is not necessary to have a conscious memory of the events to be able to release them. The unconscious mind will protect us if the conscious mind finds it too much to handle however it is still possible to clear this information even though it may not be accessible to the conscious mind. Releasing the past experiences means that they will no longer have a hold over one’s life.

A good therapist can make a massive difference to a person’s life so taking your time to find someone you will feel comfortable working with is very important. My goal is not only to help clients through their trauma in the most comfortable way possible but to give them tools that they can take with them to continue building the life that they deserve with confidence and self belief.

Hypnosis, NLP and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) are valuable resources I use on a daily basis with my clients to help them achieve their goals and become the person that they want to be. I also incorporate simple but empowering strategies that I have developed over the years that give my clients the ability to adjust their feelings and experiences in the moment wherever they are and whatever they are doing. This is an amazingly empowering experience and can help anyone gain inner confidence and self belief.

If you would like to free yourself from the tyranny of past or present bullying do call me 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to let you know how I can help.

Prescription Drug Addiction

Prescription Drug Addiction

Prescription Drug Addiction and how hypnosis can help

Drug abuse is something that is never far away from the news but prescription drug addiction is an issue that is not so often discussed.

Abuse of prescribed drugs can take the form of taking pills prescribed for someone else, overuse of painkillers or tranquillisers, asking for repeat prescriptions before the last one has run out, a feeling of dependency on the drug and many other variations. Even over the counter drugs can be addictive and can have very serious side effects if taken out-with the recommended dosage.

The problem is learning how to come off prescription medication (which always should be done under medical supervision) and finding out why there appears to be a need to take this medication inappropriately.

I have successfully worked with clients in this area for many years and similarly when treating smoking, food issues and substance abuse, hypnotherapy has a very powerful and effective track record in helping people with all sorts of addictions. I use a combination of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP plus simple but effective techniques that my clients can take with them and use to continue at home thus continuing the work done in the therapy room. This helps regain that feeling of control that is much needed for addiction issues and speed up the process of recovery. Even pain can be alleviated with

hypnosis which may help reduce medication when medically appropriate.

If you or anyone you know has a problem getting off prescription (or over the counter) medication it is important to get help from your GP and also look for good professional therapeutic help to remove the cravings and deal with any issues that may have led up to the addiction.

For more information call 07970218451 or email rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to help and answer any questions you may have.

Nine traumatising feelings that abuse survivors are left to deal with.

Frozen in shock

Hypnosis and EFT can help deal with these nine traumatising feelings after abuse

Listening the other day to a woman talking about her experience of abuse when she was eleven years old, as she described how the events of the past still affected her everyday life she encapsulated in her phrases the many traumatising feelings that victims can carry with them for the rest of their lives.

“Frozen in shock” sums up how the body stores past trauma and until this can be unlocked there will always be a state of “Fight or Flight” operating throughout the nervous system.

“Carrying the secret” is a cross that victims of abuse may have to bear for the rest of their lives unless they can “lock it away in a mental compartment” to help them continue their lives with some form of internal safety. Otherwise it can be almost too much to bear.

“Fear of not being believed” when they were children alienates and “isolates” them from family and friends often along with “rejection from other family members.”

“Lack of Trust” becomes even more pervasive when the perpetrator was a family member.

“Depression” can then become a common illness with anyone who has been in this situation.

I have successfully worked with many clients who have been victims of abuse. Using hypnotherapy, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP with knowledge and understanding can help achieve enormously important change.

I always work in a way that is sympathetic and mindful of my clients’ feelings and also in ways that can achieve the best results with the absolute minimum of distress. In fact it is often not even necessary to discuss or reveal any difficult detail at all to help clear past experiences. Having to go through the distressing details is probably one of the major worries that keeps many people from seeking help through therapy but for a skilled practitioner it is not necessary to do so to achieve powerful results. In my experience the old techniques of talking through the trauma in detail and almost reliving it are out of place and unnecessary.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues I will be very happy to discuss how I help my clients achieve remarkable changes in their lives. Just email roger@rogerfoxwell.co.uk or call 07970218451 for a confidential chat.