Body image, confidence and Hypnosis

Body Image

There is a post doing the rounds on Facebook at the moment that says “want a bikini body? Put on a bikini and stop giving a s*** what everyone else thinks!!”

Fighting talk, and amusing enough if you don’t actually care what people think. However many  people worry very much about “what everyone else thinks” and it can be very hard to acquire the confidence and thick skin to ignore those thoughts. “What other people think of me is none of my business” is one of my favorite quotes but we live in a culture that celebrates celebrity. We have celebrities on our TVs and ipads every moment of the day setting new trends in fashion, body image and status. Also we may be struggling with past conditioning without even knowing what it is that is keeping us in a low self esteem, lack of confidence mindset.

Lack of confidence in ourselves emotionally and lack of confidence on a physical level will have a profound effect on how we act, react and communicate in pretty much all our everyday communications, social and business . This obsession with body image and how we perceive ourselves and imagine others perceive us can easily tip over into even more destructive issues such as depression and eating disorders so it is important to get good professional help to turn this around and get one’s life back.

No one should have to spend their lives short changing themselves on confidence, happiness and self respect and although the reasons behind these feelings may be complex that does not mean it need take a long time and a lot of therapy sessions to turn this around. Techniques such as Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) can help achieve real and positive freedom from this state often in a remarkably short period of time.

All these techniques have a positive track record in achieving rapid and lasting change that other therapies cannot always match. If we could change just by thinking consciously and knowing consciously what we want to change then it would not in most cease be a problem. However it is rarely as simple as that. However the reason that change can be so rapid and effective with these therapies is that they all help connect with our creative unconscious, the very part of us that has the tools to reprogramme our feelings and thoughts.

It may feel a daunting task to turn something such as this round but with the right help it can be a life affirming experience that has the promise to make massive change in a very healthy way.

If you would like any more information just call or email and I will be very happy to help.

“I can’t believe so much has changed in my thinking in the last few weeks., and I feel in a different place again. I am so much more confident and positive. Thank you.” – DG

Can hypnosis help you have a better day?

Hypnosis

“What would you like to have happen today?” is a phrase often used by therapists as an initial question given to a client at the beginning of a session. Written down like this it can seem a bit stilted and awkward sounding but if you ask yourself this very question right now notice for a second what your mind is doing? Just ask yourself “What would I like to have happen today?” and think about it for a moment. You may notice that your mind will be making a search or reference for something that could be a possible match to what you would “like to have happen”.

In general we seek therapy when there is an issue in our lives that is causing us discomfort. It will be an issue that we don’t want and an issue we would like to remove from our life in one way or another. Naturally the main focus of one’s thoughts when in this state is “can the therapist remove this unpleasant feeling?” However, have we thought about what sort of experience we would like to have in our lives once the issue is resolved?

Just think for a moment about what would happen if you wanted to move from where you live now because for various reasons it had become unsuitable for your needs and life style. You wouldn’t just move out without giving any thought to what would be the important things you would like in your new home and neighborhood that are not available where you are at present.

And so it is when we are looking for emotional change in our lives. Whether to relieve anxiety, lose weight or gain confidence what we are looking for is the end goal and how it is going to change our lives in the future. In other words it is very important to have an idea of how your life is going to change for the better and how you would like to experience life in the future rather than only thinking about what you don’t want.

“And what will you notice when you have made these changes?”

This is another powerful question I often ask as the client begins to experience, in their imagination, subtle shifts in perception and understanding. They may have already created in their mind walking onto a plane with no fear and anxiety or confidently giving a presentation at work. Because the change that they have begun to develop will make a massive difference to their holiday or their confidence in the workplace this will be the time for their unconscious to share this information with the conscious mind and positively strengthen the new neural connections that the brain is making.
Isn’t it interesting how just a couple of simple questions trigger so much change without us even knowing how it happens? We have moved from negative to positive without even noticing it. Suddenly the mind is focusing on what you do want much more than what you don’t want! It’s just like hypnosis isn’t it?

So what would you like to have happen today?
If you would like to make exceptional changes in your life or experience your life more positively on a daily basis do get in touch and find out how I can help you.

If you would like more information or to book a session just call or email me and I will be happy to help.

“Hi Roger, Thank you very much for today, it’s left me in a great mood!” – BD

Even Tiger Woods can get the “Yips”

Tiger Woods

Even Tiger Woods can fall victim to the “Yips”

Tiger Woods has had his fair share of golfing problems recently how Tiger got the yips Hainey and now to add to that it appears that he has been suffering from the yips around the greens. Once the master of the most any shot in the bag it seems that at one point recently even a simple chip shot was not always guaranteed to land on the green for him.

What it must feel like for a pro of any standing let alone Tiger’s it is hard to imagine but for the amateur whose head gets infiltrated with this toxic experience it may not be the end of their profession but it will certainly take out a major percentage of the pleasure in their golf game.

There seems only limited expert help out there for this problem and working with a pro on your stroke whether putting or chipping is important to help you to have a clear idea of the correct way execute the stroke. However it is not guaranteed that the brain will obey these instructions once the problem has started and this is where finding someone with the knowledge of the psychology of the game, and with knowledge of techniques to help the brain and body re route these mistimed messages whilst quietening the “demons in the head” that seem to sabotage every thought of hitting a clean shot is invaluable.

I work very successfully in this area with pro and amateur golfers and also in such sports as snooker, darts and tennis. The first thing is to halt the stream of negative self talk that drains any possibility of confidence and for this I use a simple mental phrases that you can take with you and say to yourself wherever you are and whatever the situation. Instead of using the usual “pump me up” power phrases such as “let’s go for it” and “in the hole” try saying to yourself any time you have a negative thought “that thought is not available”. You will be able to use the other phrases later but one step at a time.

Sounds too simple to be true doesn’t it but the reason it works so effectively is that it is a post hypnotic suggestion. In other words it bypasses the conscious mind and embeds itself in the unconscious whereas anything like the previous phrase will just get batted backwards and forwards round the conscious mind. And it is imperative to clear the negative debris that has been left from past negative experience before we can start putting in positive affirmations that we will believe.

Part of my work in this area deals with “mind tips and techniques” that will help tune the mind and thoughts to a much more positive level The other part is using very simple but specialist techniques to reconfigure the brain circuits. Because the proprioceptive messages from brain to body that trigger the muscular responses are jumbled and distorted then we must have ways available that will cancel out the misdirected information and set up a clear path for clean messages to take their place. How would it feel to have available available simple techniques that will help build a much closer connection and feeling of what your muscles are doing that can literally begin to rewire your physical responses?

I know how powerful these techniques are simply because I have developed and used them successfully over the years in my own experience of years performing in front of large audiences as a professional musician. (Yes musicians can suffer from their own forms of the yips as well) This has meant my developing a unique but powerful set of tools, techniques and strategies aimed at helping performers in all areas achieve their best outcome for their skills and pleasure in their hobby or profession.
For more information just call or email and I will be happy to help you in person or over Skype.

“Sorry I’ve not been in touch, but it’s really just to say thanks. Since we met I have worked away at the swing thoughts we spoke about and have banished completely my short game problem. I don’t even acknowledge that word anymore my game is great even if its not went as well as I would have liked. I don’t have the same feeling of dread I used to have on approaching short shots or chips and my enjoyment of the game has improved greatly. So thanks again Roger.” CW

Gary Player used self hypnosis to help win the US Open 1965

Today I am sharing a link featuring one of the most successful golfers in the history of the sport. Gary player  was a regular PGA tour winner from 1958 through to 1978 with nine Majors to his name. He was also the only golfer in the 20th century to win the British Open in three different decades.

At 80 years old he still puts himself through a punishing fitness routine that exemplifies the mindset that he has used all his life to create his amazing success. And what else did he use? Self hypnosis.

For anyone looking for inspiration to help achieve their goals this is a must read and inspiring article. I am sure you will enjoy it.

Gary Player used self hypnosis to help win the US Open

How To: Sign In and Create a Skype Account for Sessions

If you have ever wanted to use skype in order to take advantage of my online sessions here is a quick and easy guide to get you started. This guide is taken from the Skype official guide.

If you are unsure how to install Skype follow the Skype support guidelines to download and install. This guideline is for Windows only. Go here for Linux and here for Mac

OK now you have Skype installed you are ready to get started and set up your account (in order to do this you must have an active Facebook account that is yours and know your login details for that account)

Lets go –

1 – Start Skype on your Windows computer
2 – Now click Sign in with Facebook

3 – You will now be taken to the Facebook login window. Enter your Facebook login details (email and password) then hit login

4 – Now click Login with Facebook. You can also tick the sign me in automatically each time Skype starts if you do not want to enter login details each time you run Skype.

5 – Now click Allow

6 – You have now signed in with your Facebook account to Skype

7 – If you do not have a Skype account yet you will land on this page. Click Get Started

8 – You will now be asked to read and accept their Terms and Conditions. Click I agree – Continue

That’s it, you should now be set up and ready to go with your new Skype account and Facebook account merged. You can now sign in using Facebook each time.

EFT attracts more positive media attention

Emotional Freedom Technique

Janey Lee Grace is a popular Radio presenter who worked and presented her own radio show for Virgin Radio and can be heard on Steve Wright’s BBC Radio 2 afternoon show. Someone with many talents she has been a singer, she is a Media Interview Skills coach and her book “Imperfectly Natural Woman” was an instant number 1 best seller on Amazon.

Her keen interest in Holistic and Complimentary therapies including her natural series of hypnotherapy CD’s for natural pregnancy and childbirth led her to investigate EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). She was so impressed with the technique that she took a course and qualified as a practitioner. Her story about how this happened is presented below
https://janeyleegrace.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/tapping-away-eft-styleya-convert.html
EFT is a wonderful therapeutic technique and something more and more practitioners are adding to their repertoire. It is extremely valuable having someone such as Janey Lee Grace to help spread the message about this remarkably simple but amazingly powerful technique.

 

Like everything else it is important to learn how to use it from a good practitioner but once learnt it will serve as an invaluable tool to help you continue to deal with whatever comes up in your life now and in the future. I use it on a regular basis with my clients and have clients from the medical profession and sport and performing arts who continue to use it in their personal life and careers. It has certainly helped change my life and the lives of my clients in many positive ways and continues to do so.

If you would like to know more about how EFT, Hypnosis, NLP and the other powerful techniques I use could help you make amazing changes in your life just call or email me and I will be happy to help you.

Are we healing or just “fighting a good fight”

Heal illness

Should we “fight” an illness or heal it?

These days we regularly hear phrases such as we will “beat this illness or must “battle” against it. On the surface this fighting talk can sound very positive and help demonstrate that we are not just going to lie down and let ourselves be walked over whatever the odds. This in itself may be no bad thing but are there other unforeseen consequences to using this sort of terminology. A recent study at the University of Lancaster found that using “war metaphors” in the “fight” against cancer may not always be as helpful as it might appear.

How often do we hear that someone has” lost their battle” against a serious illness. This type of terminology is glibly used by media, pundits and experts but does it help the person suffering and does it help people recover or prolong their lives? In fact although these battling terms may be helpful for charities to raise money interestingly Macmillan Cancer Support has consciously held back from this sort of terminology. According to researcher Elena Semino professor of linguistics and verbal art at Lancaster University it is best left to the individual to choose their own metaphors to help them with their illness. It was also found that when battle terminology is applied patients may begin to feel a sense of responsibility if their condition deteriorates.

When we are ill what are we looking for? Health.

Whether one is suffering from an emotional or physical illness are we not looking for good health? And the first four letters of health are HEAL. By healing we are truly mobilising the resources of body and mind in a way that makes so much more sense. If we are in a “struggle” to lose weight implicitly we are in a struggle with ourselves. If we are “fighting” a life threatening disease then we could find ourselves fighting our own body! Will we really be able to muster the energy to “battle” with depression when one’s internal resources seem to be so low?

Anyone who has studied and qualified as a hypnotherapist, counsellor or psychotherapist will have been trained in the use of language and the importance of the words chosen and how how best to use them. Hypnosis uses it’s own particular language patterns and these patterns are designed to bypass the conscious mind and communicate with the unconscious mind. Without this we would have to rely on conscious communication to make a change and as we have all experienced at some time or other the conscious mind knows what we “should” be doing but does not always have the tools to make the required changes. Smokers may know that they want to quit but telling oneself is one thing and doing it is another just as telling ourselves to eat healthy food does not always make it happen.

We are using words constantly when communicating with others and when talking internally to ourselves. But are we really aware of what the message might be that is often hidden behind our thoughts and internal conversation and the effect it is creating? I see healing as the focus to bring together the natural resources of mind and body for real and meaningful change. However using such terms as fight, beat, and struggle could just be setting up an internal conflict that will block the results we are looking for.

For more information on how Hypnotherapy, EFT and NLP could help you please 07970218451 or rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com and I will be happy to help.

Worry, Anxiety and Stress – the facts and figures

Stress

Can you stop yourself worrying?

As Mark Twain said in his famous quote “I have known a great many troubles in my life but most of them have never happened”

Many of us spend a lot of our lives worrying about things that seem at the time very important. And yet however overwhelmed we feel by these worries we are “still here at the end of the day to tell the tale.” This is not to say that there are not things in life that we may describe as legitimate worries. But the interesting thing is that when we really have something important to worry about we are often suddenly able to galvanise ourselves into action and deal with the situation in a way that it is hard to imagine possible with minor issues.

So what are the figures when it comes to categorising the quality of worry in our lives? It makes interesting reading.

40% Never happens
30% Has already happened
22% Needless worries
8% Actually happens

Of the last 8% –
4% We have some control over
4% Beyond our control

Putting it into perspective such as this can be a valuable way to help rationalise our responses and manage or defuse them.

However if you think you still need some tools and techniques that will really help you get on with your life there are two tools that I have found to be among the best to help release the demon of constant stress, worry and anxiety about things.

Hypnotherapy and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

Why do I think Hypnosis and EFT are so good at helping us make change? Because they speak to the unconscious mind, the part of us that does not have the reasoning powers of the conscious mind but the part that generates change from the creative part of the mind. Most smokers would know logically they should stop like most of us know how to lose a few pounds if we want to lose weight but the conscious mind deals in logic and the bridge to logic and making a change is much harder to cross than the creative bridge from our unconscious. We may consciously know every step we should take but taking those steps is another matter. Harnessing the power of our creative unconscious can really clear the way to making amazing changes in our lives.

If you would like to know more about the techniques I use and how my experience has given me the opportunity to develop strategies that are practical yet amazingly effective to help relieve that uncomfortable “background noise” that is worry just call or email and I will be very happy to chat with you.

Hair pulling (Trichotillomania) and how Hypnosis can help

Hair Pulling

Hypnosis and EFT to help stress and hair pulling issues

Trichotillomania is an emotional disorder similar to OCD. It involves pulling body hairs out, usually one at a time to help experience some form of relaxation or stress relief. Obviously one or two hairs pulled out will not be noticed but continuous hair pulling will soon mean a noticeable bald patch appearing. This will generally add to the distress and hiding the problem becomes another problem in itself. Hair is often pulled from the head but can be from the eyebrows or pubic hair.

The hair pulling can take the form of a ritual, until it feels “just right” or be an automatic, often unconscious action. In psychological terms it may be a way of relieving stress or anxiety, a form of self harm or an addictive behavior that temporarily relieves the symptoms.

As I suggest to clients it is important first to get a medical opinion, however there are various psychological therapies that can be used, hypnosis being one of them. I help treat clients with this issue using hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) NLP and very importantly helping build the clients’ confidence and self worth.

A recent client was a student who was using the hair pulling to relieve stress around her university course and the pressure of exams. She was pulling hair from her eyebrows but after one session had reduced the habit considerably and after three sessions was feeling much less anxious, more confident and happy and had stopped it altogether. As with any addictive or compulsive behavior it is important to be prepared for stress triggers in the future and have in place effective tools to deal with such situations. We all know that no one is immune from stress and that there will be times in our lives when it will be impossible to avoid so being prepared to deal with it effectively when or if it arises is very important.

I find hypnosis and EFT a very powerful combination of therapies that offer clients tools that will last them a lifetime and help them regain and continue to keep control of their lives even when the therapy is concluded.

If you would like to discuss any of these issues just 07970218451 or rogerfoxwell.therapy@gmail.com me and I will be happy to chat with you.

Magic phrases to release anxiety in life

Release Anxiety

Try these 3 Magic Phrases” and let go of anxiety and worry

Do you find yourself worrying about things or feeling anxious without really knowing why? Do you sometimes experience the constant aggravation of uncontrolled thoughts buzzing around your head? I think we all experience this at times but it can get out of hand keeping us distracted during the day and awake at night. We may tell ourselves to stop thinking such thoughts or to try harder to think of something else but that rarely seems to make any difference. So no amount of stern talking to yourself seems to have any effect and in fact may even be making the situation worse! Why is it that these stock phrases and interventions appear to make no difference whatsoever? The reason is that they are all expressed in a way that the conscious mind understands but, as we know, the conscious mind has a lot to say about what we should or shouldn’t be doing but is often short on strategies to actually make the changes we want. Smokers know they want to stop, we might know we want to lose weight and yet we know that there is rarely any value in constant worry but our conscious mind does not always seem to have the tools to make the changes we would like. If it did, there would be no need for hypnotherapy or any therapy at all because we would just give ourselves the message to quit doing or thinking something and the problem would go away like magic!

So how and where can we communicate our needs when we really need to make a change? The answer is with our unconscious mind, our inner mind, the subconscious. Whatever term you use this is a part of you that does not work in logic, formulas or mathematical equations. This part of the mind works with pictures, colours, intuition and is connected to our feelings and instincts and knows how to make changes beyond our conscious awareness. In fact we do not really think consciously because thoughts just seem to appear from our unconscious. Below are my “3 Magic Questions” and they are all aimed at communicating with your creative mind. Because the big obstacle is getting them past the conscious mind they are designed to do that by being formed in a language pattern that the conscious mind does not understand. At first if you read them they may not make a lot of sense but actually they make perfect sense to the creative mind so while the conscious mind is busying itself trying to work out what on earth this could mean the subconscious understands it perfectly! Ask yourself this question, when did you last MAKE yourself feel different about something? All you have to do now is say the phrase to yourself. Just let your unconscious mind work that one out for you. No need to question whether anything has changed or did it work? Your unconscious creative mind knows how to do this and questions put this way are just what it needs to help make a change. This is why hypnotists often use phrases in a way that you would not normally use them in everyday speech. This communication bypasses the conscious mind allowing the information to go straight to the unconscious. Have fun with them and see what happens! My 3 Magic Questions “If my inner mind knows how I would like to feel, how would it do this for me?” “If my inner mind knows how I would like to feel, how would I know that something had changed?” “If my inner mind makes that change now how do I feel?” If you experience chronic and constant worry and anxiety that is really getting in the way of your life then it is a good idea to get professional help starting with your GP. As a Hypnotherapist, NLP and EFT practitioner I am regularly working with clients with anxiety issues with excellent success so if you would like to know more just call 07970218451 or email and I will be very happy to help.