There are so many different descriptions of the state of hypnosis that even hypnotists and hypnotherapists will have their own definitions of hypnosis. As hypnotherapists we tend to define it more in relation to the particular way we do our work.
I could put someone into a relaxing trance. Or mesmerise them with the positive changes they could make in their lives. Or hypnotise them so they can recall or forget to remember a past memory.
Although the typical picture of someone in hypnosis will be eyes closed and seemingly fast asleep on a reclining chair I tend to favour the word trance since we are all experiencing different states of trance on a daily basis. The American term “Highway Hypnosis” sums up how we can be wide awake but in a trance at the same time, even when safely driving.
In fact reading the heading at the top of this post will put you in a light trance as your mind diverts itself from the first question and just for a fleeting moment responds to the second question with “or do I?”
Did you go into a state of hypnosis, trance, focused awareness or heightened imagination? Or perhaps you were expecting to be told to forget something or repeat an action or remember something from the past.
“And” (a hypnotist’s favourite word because it simply and easily joins each point with a natural flow) as you were reading the previous sentence your mind was probably taking you very rapidly through all sorts of mental pictures, thoughts and conundrums.
So does it matter whether it is hypnosis, hypnotherapy, mesmerism, sleep, autosuggestion, trance or focused awareness? The interesting thing is that in reality we will automatically find ourselves using our natural favoured way of dreaming, or daydreaming. Everyone has their preferred way of going into trance and will be unconsciously using it throughout the day.
That’s the way the brain works.
We just go there and that is a place that knows a lot about you.
The Vagus nerve
Vagus in Latin means “wandering” and most of us will have heard of the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic divisions of the nervous system but perhaps not the Vagus nerve.
This nerve, which has only scientifically been researched in more depth over the last 20 years, is critical to our physical and emotional feelings of well being as beneath our awareness it efficiently and smoothly sends messages to the brain, gut, heart and other organs of the body. So the fact that it is “in touch” with so many of our vital organs tells us how vitally important it is.
The relatively recent research of Stephen Porges has brought to our attention the pivotal role this superhighway has on every area of our body and therefore our life.
So what does it do for us?
When the vagus nerve is operating at it’s best it is connecting the messages from our organs, our thoughts, our conscious and our unconscious into one smooth multi level pathway of health, calm and ease on a daily basis.
And isn’t that what we have been looking for?
A few of the issues toning the Vagus Nerve can help with
Sound too good to be true?
Well my research and work on myself and clients has really helped take what I do up another level. Resolving past issues, helping the body operate physically with more balance and connection, quicker healing, less anxiety and more pleasure and satisfaction in life are major goals that most of us would like to aim for.
What can I do to tone my Vagus Nerve?
Heart Rate Variability breathing – High Coherence Breathing. (Heart Math)
Simple crossing the Mid line Exercises eg BrainGym
Gargling – anything that stimulates your vocal cords is good.
Meditation – Loving kindness meditation
Washing your face with icy water–cold water on your face stimulates the vagus nerve–remember this next time you’re feeling really stressed out.
Emotional Freedom Technique and Hypnosis
My work building a raft of trance based techniques including Hypnosis, NLP and Emotional Freedom Technique has been dedicated to helping clients move forward in their lives. The addition of working with and toning the Vagus Nerve has been another major addition to helping clients access even more meaningful and simple yet empowering tools that they can use on a daily basis to help turn their lives around.
If you would like to know more just email or call me and I will be very happy to help.
This experience is a message from our primal brain saying it does not, for whatever reason feel safe. Once the primal brain is activated like this it is very hard to switch off because it is in effect four times stronger than our frontal “thinking” cortex at getting it’s message across to the body.
Basically the frontal cortex, which can think logically for us, resides in the front of the skull and the primal primitive brain at the back of the skull. So once a panic attack begins generally no amount of logical thinking will turn it off and we just have to go through the experience until the body runs out of adrenaline and we can begin to calm down.
However there is a lot we can do ourselves to bring those feelings into check and manage them until they become fewer and fewer in our lives. Using hypnosis is a perfect tool to help calm the nervous system and regain control of the uncomfortable physical and emotional feelings. Also there are breathing strategies available that will help us to breath in a way that relaxes rather then excites the nervous system. Also subtle trance based ways of thinking can help us turn this around.
The beauty of using trance based techniques such as hypnotherapy is that not only does it make it easier to slip into a comfortable state of relaxation but also the trance state helps us bypass the conscious mind and generate change on a deeper unconscious level.
If you would like to know more about hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, NLP and other ways of engaging your creative mind for relaxation and change do feel free to contact me and I will be very happy to help.
Always seek medical advice when appropriate.
If you haven’t experienced hypnotherapy before it can be a little daunting wondering what will happen and how you will feel when in hypnosis. Most of us have seen stage shows and hypnotists on television so understandably one may feel a little wary. However hypnosis could be one of the most relaxing experiences you have had but unfortunately the thoughts of “will I cluck like a chicken or tell all my darkest secrets” can make us somewhat guarded at that first appointment.
Now, a professional hypnotherapist would not make any of their clients cluck like a chicken and you certainly will not be telling anybody anything that you would rather keep to yourself.
However these worries can set up an unconscious resistance before we even cross the threshold so it is best to be aware of these thoughts to help allow yourself to participate as comfortably as you like in the session.
First, remember that the therapist is there to help you and has your best interests at heart. One of the strengths that Milton Erickson, the founder of modern hypnosis had, along with his remarkable skills was his ability to unconsciously convey to his clients how much he cared that they achieve the very best results.
Consciously knowing this means that there will be no need to “do battle” with the hypnotherapist. Just think how much more relaxed will you feel and how much easier it will be when both of you are working together. Those who arrive with arms folded and a “well fix me then” look on their face will take up valuable time in their session when they could be making valuable changes instead.
One reason for this resistance is that our logical thinking mind may not want us to do this work since our logical mind may not want to hand over control to the creative mind. (Yes you can relax, it will still be your mind not the hypnotherapists’!) What the logical mind can find hard to grasp at times is that accessing the power of our creative mind will help free our logical mind thereby encouraging the whole brain to work more harmoniously. The vast majority of clients are very easy to work with and if there is any discomfort then as professionals it is our job to help put the client at ease so they will leave the session happier and more relaxed than when they came so helping them achieve their best results.
So all you have to do is bring along the belief that you will be exploring wonderful and powerful ways to help let go of the issues you will be working on plus three experiences that will help you get the best possible results –
Now this could be my shortest post yet and it could also be the shortest and simplest way to helping you on your way to finding much more pleasure in your life.
Question. How much time do you spend on Facebook? (Just skip this if you’re not on Facebook, it won’t matter!) How often do you “like” someone’s post? How often do you receive a message saying someone “Likes” your post. How does that make you feel?
Now if you want to create more pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction in your life start to notice today, starting right now any small pleasurable experience however seemingly insignificant, any satisfying achievement that happens and just press your own internal “Like” button. This simple thought process will send a subtle but powerful surge of Alpha (dreamy) waves through your brain and you just rewired your brain right?
As a hypnotherapist and mind coach, clients come to see me to help them change their experience of the world they are in. How can we do that?
A/ By letting go of past issues that are keeping us stuck where we are.
B/ By reorganising our thinking patterns which in turn rewires our brain.
Do this on a daily basis and see what happens. Start right now.
Press your own “LIKE” button.
(And press it twice if you liked this post!)
I am getting more and more enquiries about help for stress related issues. Some will be about stress at work, some stress in relationships and many just a feeling of being generally overwhelmed with nothing the client can put a finger on.
To cope effectively with pressure, motivation and excitement in our lives and to get things done, perform at work and deal with everyday issues effectively we need the mind and body to be able to “wind up” to a certain level that will give us the energy to do the things that need doing. However, the problem is being able to let go of the excess tension at the appropriate moments, to be able to calm the body and mind so that we do not get locked in an internal “flight or flight” loop that seems impossible to get out of.
Ideally we should be able to move reasonably easily from a state of medium or even high internal tension to a more relaxed state of being since there is nothing inherently wrong with the state of stress in itself. In fact it is an indication that our body is doing all the right things, it just means that it is not doing “all the right things in the right order” and that is when we get stuck in a primal part of the brain that is only designed to “save” us but does not have the tools to make rational and organised decisions. Hence, we feel as if we are out of control.
Feeling out of control is an extremely uncomfortable feeling and if we have no tools or strategies to help us regain some feeling of being in control then we will be left feeling helpless and hopeless. This then leads to a series of physical, emotional, behavioural, and cognitive symptoms to which there seems no way out. (Always first consult your GP in any case.) So what is the answer to this problem and what techniques can help?
It can also be useful to use more than one technique that will support and help a client achieve the best results. There are many therapies such as acupuncture, CBT, counselling and massage out there that will help with stress but in my opinion for stress and anxiety issues Hypnotherapy is one of the most simple, safe and effective ways to help rapidly calm and heal the mind and body. (If you would like to sample a free hypnosis experience there is a download at the top of the home page of my website.) Meditation, mindfulness and yoga are very popular now and any one or combination of these other techniques with the right professional practitioner will help alleviate the symptoms of stress. Sometimes it can be beneficial to use a variety of techniques to help strengthen the parasympathetic (relaxation part) nervous system and achieve a more dynamic balance over the whole system.
We will all come up against many times of stress during our lives and they may be big or small instances but learning how to deal with them is the key.
If you would like any more information on how I am helping clients deal with stress and anxiety and how Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and my own simple and powerful strategies designed to help turn your thinking around on a daily basis please call or email and I will be happy to help.
On Thursday this week (February 4th 2016) it will be “Time To Talk” day. Time To Talk day has been organised for the last three years by charities Mind, and Rethink Mental Illness under the umbrella Time To Change and the aim is to encourage people to share their feelings and discuss their stories and personal experiences about mental health in person and via Facebook and Twitter.
Although this is primarily a project that has been been organised in England over the last three years, in Scotland, England and Wales one in four people will suffer from some sort of mental health issue and encouraging people to talk about it can only help break down the taboos and difficulties around discussing mental illness.
For various reasons people find it hard to talk openly about mental illness so engaging everyone helps bring into the open a subject that has been in need of more awareness and understanding for a long time now. It is really much more common than we think and this initiative can only help and encourage a greater understanding and support for anyone going through difficult times. Knowing that you are not alone is invaluable in helping support the healing process.
According to a Time to Change survey 60% of those interviewed found the stigma and discrimination around issues such as depression, anorexia and anxiety were as debilitating as the symptoms they were suffering. If we have a physical illness we are much less likely to keep it to ourselves than a mental one because of the stigma surrounding mental illness.
Talking with friends and family is a great therapy but there is a point when one needs to take the next step and that is of course seeing your GP, and or appropriate professional organisation who will be able to help you get the best treatment.
The three charities below are a good place to start if you or someone you know is having difficulty in getting the support and advice they need.
For more about Time To Talk day follow this link
Time to Talk
See me Scotland is a Scottish charity also with the aim of ending mental health stigma and discrimination and for Wales follow the link below for more information
“What would you like to have happen today?” is a phrase often used by therapists as an initial question given to a client at the beginning of a session. Written down like this it can seem a bit stilted and awkward sounding but if you ask yourself this very question right now notice for a second what your mind is doing? Just ask yourself “What would I like to have happen today?” and think about it for a moment. You may notice that your mind will be making a search or reference for something that could be a possible match to what you would “like to have happen”.
In general we seek therapy when there is an issue in our lives that is causing us discomfort. It will be an issue that we don’t want and an issue we would like to remove from our life in one way or another. Naturally the main focus of one’s thoughts when in this state is “can the therapist remove this unpleasant feeling?” However, have we thought about what sort of experience we would like to have in our lives once the issue is resolved?
Just think for a moment about what would happen if you wanted to move from where you live now because for various reasons it had become unsuitable for your needs and life style. You wouldn’t just move out without giving any thought to what would be the important things you would like in your new home and neighbourhood that are not available where you are at present.
And so it is when we are looking for emotional change in our lives. Whether to relieve anxiety, lose weight or gain confidence what we are looking for is the end goal and how it is going to change our lives in the future. In other words it is very important to have an idea of how your life is going to change for the better and how you would like to experience life in the future rather than only thinking about what you don’t want.
“And what will you notice when you have made these changes?”
This is another powerful question I often ask as the client begins to experience, in their imagination, subtle shifts in perception and understanding. They may have already created in their mind walking onto a plane with no fear and anxiety or confidently giving a presentation at work. Because the change that they have begun to develop will make a massive difference to their holiday or their confidence in the workplace this will be the time for their unconscious to share this information with the conscious mind and positively strengthen the new neural connections that the brain is making.
Isn’t it interesting how just a couple of simple questions trigger so much change without us even knowing how it happens? We have moved from negative to positive without even noticing it. Suddenly the mind is focusing on what you do want much more than what you don’t want! It’s just like hypnosis isn’t it?
So what would you like to have happen today?
If you would like to make exceptional changes in your life or experience your life more positively on a daily basis do get in touch and find out how I can help you.
If you would like more information or to book a session just call or email me and I will be happy to help.
“Hi Roger, Thank you very much for today, it’s left me in a great mood!” – BD
I have been using EFT in my practice for many years now and it never ceases to amaze me how simple and effective this technique is. If you want a technique that you can use and take with you “in your back pocket” wherever you are and whatever circumstances you are in then EFT is the obvious choice.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) has been around now for 20 years and was developed by Gary Craig from Roger Callaghan’s Thought Field Therapy. It is termed as an energy psychology and works by tapping on certain acupressure points around the body whilst verbalising (internally or out loud) the issues you are working on.
It is a favourite technique of mine and often clients will come in with no knowledge of it and I will demonstrate to them without initially explaining it a simple round of tapping on the specific points to see what experience they get. They may look a bit perplexed as we begin the “round” tapping on the side of the hand then tapping with the fingers on 7 points around the body whilst reciting the problem out loud. The interesting thing is that even after one or two rounds which will take only a minute of two at most, their face and body will relax and when I ask them how they feel they will usually say, with a pleasantly surprised look on their face, “well, I seem to feel a bit more relaxed”.
This almost instant reduction in the discomfort of the problem is to me proof that meaningful and powerful change has already begun. We may have only just started the session and the work we will do but now my client is also learning a technique that will help empower them on a daily basis. And this will be a technique they will soon learn and be able to take with them and use without me having to be there. As I say to clients “I don’t know what you will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow any more than I know what I will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow” but if it is something you want to deal with then EFT can help you deal with it on the spot.
The well respected complimentary medicine and nutrition expert, osteopath and best selling author Dr Mercola has written various articles about the benefits of EFT and has a video and information about how effective it can be for relieving stress and tension headaches.
EFT can help with many issues including:
Phobia – Sickness phobia – Animals phobia – Insects phobia
Fear of water – Fear of darkness – Social phobia – Night phobia – Fear of plants – Any simple or complex Phobia
Stress – Anxiety – Tenseness – Insecurity – Nervousness – Anger – Hate – Grief – Depression – Guilt – Feeling incompetent
Fear of abandonment – Fear of the future – Fear of persons – Fear of the unknown – Fear of death
Traumatic memory: Rejection, Failure, Duress, Abandonment, Accident, Abuse, Rape, Love pain
Headache – Nervous stomach-ache – Back pain – Pain in the neck – Carpal tunnel syndrome
Pre-menstrual syndrome – Physical pain with no organic cause – Constipation – Irritable bowel – Jaw tightness
Asthma – Constricted breath – Dyspnoea – Chronic diseases – Hypertension – Hypotension – tachycardia – Arrhythmia
Sexual problems (non organic) – Myopia – Vision problems – Allergies of any kind
Dyslexia – Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) – Learning problems – Low school grades
Panic attacks – Bulimia – Cravings – Anorexia nervosa – Overeating – Specific food dislike
Drugs – Alcohol – Smoking – Addictive food – Nervous habits
Plus general improvement and happiness in one’s personal and professional life:
Self-confidence – Self-image – Better relationships – Forgiveness – Procrastination – Goal achievement – Work performance – Sport performance – Personal peace
To find out more about how Emotional Freedom Technique can help you just get in touch and I will be happy help.
Have been meaning to get back to you for ages to say thank you so much for your support with myChronic Fatigue Syndrome. As you know we met just before a very big trip abroad. The two sessions really helped lift my energy levels pretty much from zero to high enough to allow me to pack and get myself to the airport, which was looking a bit doubtful at that point in time.Your techniques supported me throughout the 3 months I was away and I would recommend your methods and support for anyone living with this condition.
As Mark Twain said in his famous quote “I have known a great many troubles in my life but most of them have never happened”
Many of us spend a lot of our lives worrying about things that seem at the time very important. And yet however overwhelmed we feel by these worries we are “still here at the end of the day to tell the tale.” This is not to say that there are not things in life that we may describe as legitimate worries. But the interesting thing is that when we really have something important to worry about we are often suddenly able to galvanise ourselves into action and deal with the situation in a way that it is hard to imagine possible with minor issues.
So what are the figures when it comes to categorising the quality of worry in our lives? It makes interesting reading.
40% Never happens
30% Has already happened
22% Needless worries
8% Actually happens
Of the last 8% –
4% We have some control over
4% Beyond our control
Putting it into perspective such as this can be a valuable way to help rationalise our responses and manage or defuse them.
However if you think you still need some tools and techniques that will really help you get on with your life there are two tools that I have found to be amongst the best to help release the demon of constant stress, worry and anxiety about things.
Hypnotherapy and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
Why do I think Hypnosis and EFT are so good at helping us make change? Because they speak to the unconscious mind, the part of us that does not have the reasoning powers of the conscious mind but the part that generates change from the creative part of the mind. Most smokers would know logically they should stop like most of us know how to lose a few pounds if we want to lose weight but the conscious mind deals in logic and the bridge to logic and making a change is much harder to cross than the creative bridge from our unconscious. We may consciously know every step we should take but taking those steps is another matter. Harnessing the power of our creative unconscious can really clear the way to making amazing changes in our lives.
If you would like to know more about the techniques I use and how my experience has given me the opportunity to develop strategies that are practical yet amazingly effective to help relieve that uncomfortable “background noise” that is worry just call or email and I will be very happy to chat with you.
The issues that immediately spring to mind when considering hypnotherapy are stopping smoking, phobias and weight loss. However there are a surprising number of other conditions that hypnosis can help resolve or at the very least assist in experiencing a better quality of life. In fact there is are few issues that hypnotherapy will not have some form of positive effect on in one way or another. Even the stress and pain of a serious physical problem can be alleviated to some degree with hypnosis. In fact I saw a cancer patient last year and we did some deep relaxation hypnosis and he could not believe how good it felt to just go in his mind to a place of wonderful quiet and relaxation after all the anxiety and troubles that he had been through. A lady with scoliosis and persistent pain since she could remember found she could now enjoy sitting with her daughter right through a television programme without having to continually get up and leave the room just to alleviate the discomfort she had been experiencing.
Other areas that hypnosis can help achieve powerful results in are eating disorders, alcoholism and gambling. These are always notoriously tricky areas for therapists of any modality to treat. However if a client is ready to make a change I have found extremely good results can be achieved using hypnosis. The difference is that hypnosis works via the unconscious creative mind. When given the right tools and information to work with, the creative mind is able to make powerful changes where the conscious mind may have failed. Virtually every smoker knows consciously that they would like to stop but the conscious mind does not always have the tools to make this change. The unconscious creative mind has a different set of tools and is reached by accessing the slower alpha and delta waves the brain generates when we enter a trance state. This part of our mind tends to drive the right side of the brain, the “artist”, whilst the left side is driven more by the “accountant”. There is obviously a lot more to it but you can understand that your accountant is invaluable when it comes to presenting your accounts at the end of the year but you would not commission your accountant to paint a Michelangelo fresco on your ceiling! It is the creative part in us that more often than not holds the key to achieving change where other attempts have failed.
Because our psychological and physical health is so intertwined there is much that can be done to help problems such as Dystonia and my personal view on this issue is that although it is a physical manifestation dystonia can be linked to past programmes that are running unconsciously and creating an internal conflict. Focal Dystonia is a form of dystonia found in musicians and this is obviously career threatening when your fingers will not obey your brain. Similarly so with “the yips” which golfers can suffer from when putting. Here again past experiences can be exerting an unconscious resistance or interference between the muscles and the messages form the brain. Tourettes has a similar effect and there have been many instances of hypnosis massively alleviating the twitches and uncontrolled impulse that result in the sufferer finding themselves unable to prevent shouting out profanities or unintelligible noises in public. Performance, public speaking, procrastination, confidence and anxiety are amongst the many areas I help my clients on a daily basis. They often come to me having tried everything else knowingat using hypnotherapy can bring very rapid results and results that last.
Below is a list of just some of the issues hypnotherapists can help with so whatever the problem locate a qualified and expert practitioner to find out how they could help.
Addictions * Alcohol abuse * Anger management Anxiety * Blushing Bruxism Chronic Fatigue Syndrome * Depression * Drug abuse * Eating disorders * Exam nerves Fear of flying Food addiction * Gambling addiction * Insomnia * Internet addiction * Irritable Bowel Syndrome Low self-confidence * Low self-esteem Obsessions and compulsions * Panic attacks * Phobias * Post-traumatic stress disorder * Public speaking Quit smoking Relationship issues Sex addiction * Sexual issues * Sleep disorders * Sports performance Stress * Stuttering * Weight-loss *
Always check with your medical practitioner if you have any of the * issues above before starting complimentary treatment. For more information just call me on 07970218451 or email me and I will be happy to help you and discuss what positive changes hypnosis could make for you and your life.
Some news in the media today (08/10/13) is about Jason a 12 year old who had suddenly experienced a panic attack on a plane before take off and could not continue with his flight. This led to a full blown flying phobia that had prevented him from returning with his family to the UK for fifteen months.
Interestingly, since he was a baby Jason had taken many flights but this event came out of the blue and was so overwhelming that boarding a plane was completely out of the question. The fear of flying had become so en grained that even though his mother had not seen him for months and he had tried four times to return home he had found it impossible.
However as a last resort his father decided hypnosis would be worth a try and called on hypnotherapist Russell Hemmings to help. Very soon he was happily on the way home and reunited with his mother, family and pet dog in Weston-Super-Mare.
Fear of flying prevents thousands and thousands of people from enjoying the holidays they have always dream t of, from taking jobs they would love and spending precious time with family and friends. One of my clients a few years ago was a boy of Jason’s age who could not fly down to the West Country to see his father but like Jason within one session he was on the plane and is now a seasoned traveler up and down the country. Another recent client, a busy professional actor was dreading a tour to Australia but after just two sessions she had a wonderful three months in Sydney and since then regularly and happily travels abroad and up and down the country by plane.
If you suffer from a flying phobia and it is preventing you from enjoying your holidays, doing your job or seeing the world, hypnotherapy is the simplest way that I know of to help you get back on that plane. Plus, as the majority of my clients do, you will even enjoy the flight as well. If you would like to know more call or email me and I will be happy to help.
One of my posts deals with Flying Phobia so it is always nice to get a text back from a recent client when they arrive home from their holiday and no phobia. A recent client wanted to go to Spain with her friends but was absolutely terrified of flying and had already backed out of a previous holiday for that reason.
We had one initial session a few weeks before she was due to fly and she immediately found that she really was not worrying about it anymore at all. However as the date got closer she began to experience some of the old feelings so thought she had better come and see me for a back up session.
It is interesting working with something such as flying since the conscious mind is often not quite sure whether any change has occurred. Until you experience stepping onto the plane you don’t know consciously if the therapy has worked. Although our conscious mind knows that our fear is irrational and unfounded it is interesting that when our unconscious allows us to let go of the fear the conscious often still needs proof and is still not always totally convinced. This is where we need to trust this creative part of ourselves and avoid too many internal questions as the positive change becomes a natural experience.
Hypnosis allows us to bypass our conscious questioning and that is exactly what we did in the session just a couple of days before her holiday. It also allows us to visualise a sequence of events in such a way that they become, in a sense, real. Visualising the flight and other important details whilst connecting it to feelings of relaxation and calm can, according to research, be as powerfully compelling as experiencing the real thing.
Oh yes, and here is the text she sent me when she got home:
“Hi Roger just bk my hol was absolutely fab i was gr8 on plane was a bit nervous at 1st then completely went away quite enjoyed it defo do it again i even fell asleep on the way back … thanks very much”
The initial “bit nervous at 1st” is an example of the conscious mind still not quite believing that it really can feel safe. However when the unconscious has been reprogrammed powerfully enough the conscious mind is then able to take a back seat and just relax. Somewhere within us we really do know how to make these changes and by allowing that part to do what it needs to do and change what it needs to change the new feelings will naturally become fully integrated into our actual live experience.