Is a Therapist a Life Coach and is a Life Coach a Therapist?
Well yes and no.
A Therapist will need therapy credentials to be able to set up their practice and a Life Coach will presumably have been through certain training before setting up their practice.
The more I have developed my Hypnotherapy practice and brought in various other trance based modalities the more I realise how much EVERYTHING COUNTS. For instance if I am working with a business client who feels nervous giving a presentation then one of the many things I need to offer that client are tools to manage their anxiety otherwise all their valuable work could be overwhelmed by their fear of public speaking. On the other hand if I am a Life Coach helping a business client feel comfortable in these situations they also will require to offer, for example voice projection and presentation tools. And so here we begin to see that success for the client is supported by both the coaching aspect and the therapy aspect of their treatment.
When I continued to bring in more techniques and tools that covered more eventualities the results began to speak for themselves.
So I found myself joining tools for life coaching and tools for therapy together. As they say, “you only get one chance to make a good impression” whether it is interviewing for a job or speaking to a few hundred people in a packed auditorium. To grasp that opportunity how much better to have a powerful selection of tools, coaching and therapy, that cover as many eventualities as possible.
Some people are looking for coaching to help them and some are looking for therapy to help them. Yet Hypnosis, Life Coaching and Therapy can begin to easily and fluidly become one and the same thing. Trance is a state of Hypnosis and Life Coaching is a form of therapy. Hypnosis is a state of trance and therapy is a form of Life Coaching.
Everything overlaps and extending one’s skills in overlapping areas will help give clients more information and power to develop the changes they are looking for.
Some people will be looking for a Life Coach and some for a Hypnotherapist but where does one end and the other begin. The titles may be different but the real differences are more likely to be in the personalities and specialities of each practitioner.
So the best advice is first look for recommendations you can trust. Engage your intuition to help you get the best match for you and your issue whether a Therapist, Hypnotherapist or Life Coach.
Or perhaps you would like all three?
So you’ve been watching videos and television clips of hypnotists at work and with a command to “SLEEP” or a tug of the arm the person in front of them flops down on the couch, becomes totally rooted to the spot or they completely forget their name.
Amazing, you think to yourself. If I go see a hypnotherapist I could have my smoking habit, my anxiety and my phobia sorted by lunchtime and I will be a new person!
Does it really happen like this?
Well yes and no.
Yes, I have clients who after we have been working in a session for a while who, for a few moments, can’t remember what their issue was. However this means the issue is now not in the forefront of their mind so we are making good progress. Or some who are already drifting into a trance as we continue talking. I may at that part of the session have to reorient them “back into the room” since that may not be the best moment for that particular state to engage. Or later, after doing a deep body relax they quite probably feel so comfortable that they might not want to open their eyes. I will then suggest they take their time “as they come back into the room.”
What is happening? We will be engaging certain states of mind that will have been appropriately introduced depending on what we are working on. Sometimes a client may only be in “eyes closed” for few moments during a full session. But we will be choosing the trance just as you unconsciously are choosing your own trance as you read this post or when you drive your car.
I remember a client telling me he didn’t think he had been hypnotised so I asked him “and what did I say?” Looking a bit perplexed he said “I don’t know”.
Hypnosis or trance is happening all the time within us. Even the organising of the words in this post are designed to attract the attention in a way that helps draw you and your imagination into the story. To facilitate change we must harness the creative and cognitive parts of our mind to work together. This skill will help us achieve the changes and goals in life we are looking for.
The job of the hypnotherapist is to give clients the tools that they can use to enable them to engage their own inner knowledge and “arrange their own story” in the very best way they can for the future.
And, by the way, enjoy the process at the same time.
Tennis star Johanna Konta has come back from a slump in her performance and is looking in very good form for the 2019 Wimbledon tournament.
So what is it that has been influencing this resurgence in her form? An important part of the answer seems to be that working with her new Mind Coach, Lorenzo Beltrame, is helping get her game back on track.
Sadly her previous mind coach Juan Coto died at the end of 2016, aged just 47, and from that time Konta’s results began to gradually decline until Beltrame took up the mantle which has coincided with her latest upsurge in form.
The vast majority of sports people these days take very seriously the fact that working on the mental side of the game can make a tremendous difference to results. I work regularly with sports and performing arts clients, professional and amateur but also, a large number of my clients see me to help deal with their daily life issues of anxiety, stress, depression and confidence etc.
Interestingly I have found more and more that there really is not as much difference as one might think between the techniques and strategies we need to perform in a sporting context as the techniques and strategies we need to perform to our best in actual life situations. There are just three words that the brain is evaluating at all times that govern how comfortable we feel not, only on the big stage but in our everyday life.
Those three words are “am I safe”.
If you can turn “am I safe” into “I am safe”, whether you are on the tennis court at Wimbledon or in your everyday life the payback can be immense.
There are many empowering and fascinating ways to do this and if you would like more information about how you could make the changes in your life you deserve please feel free to contact me.
There are so many different descriptions of the state of hypnosis that even hypnotists and hypnotherapists will have their own definitions of hypnosis. As hypnotherapists we tend to define it more in relation to the particular way we do our work.
I could put someone into a relaxing trance. Or mesmerise them with the positive changes they could make in their lives. Or hypnotise them so they can recall or forget to remember a past memory.
Although the typical picture of someone in hypnosis will be eyes closed and seemingly fast asleep on a reclining chair I tend to favour the word trance since we are all experiencing different states of trance on a daily basis. The American term “Highway Hypnosis” sums up how we can be wide awake but in a trance at the same time, even when safely driving.
In fact reading the heading at the top of this post will put you in a light trance as your mind diverts itself from the first question and just for a fleeting moment responds to the second question with “or do I?”
Did you go into a state of hypnosis, trance, focused awareness or heightened imagination? Or perhaps you were expecting to be told to forget something or repeat an action or remember something from the past.
“And” (a hypnotist’s favourite word because it simply and easily joins each point with a natural flow) as you were reading the previous sentence your mind was probably taking you very rapidly through all sorts of mental pictures, thoughts and conundrums.
So does it matter whether it is hypnosis, hypnotherapy, mesmerism, sleep, autosuggestion, trance or focused awareness? The interesting thing is that in reality we will automatically find ourselves using our natural favoured way of dreaming, or daydreaming. Everyone has their preferred way of going into trance and will be unconsciously using it throughout the day.
That’s the way the brain works.
We just go there and that is a place that knows a lot about you.
The Vagus nerve
Vagus in Latin means “wandering” and most of us will have heard of the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic divisions of the nervous system but perhaps not the Vagus nerve.
This nerve, which has only scientifically been researched in more depth over the last 20 years, is critical to our physical and emotional feelings of well being as beneath our awareness it efficiently and smoothly sends messages to the brain, gut, heart and other organs of the body. So the fact that it is “in touch” with so many of our vital organs tells us how vitally important it is.
The relatively recent research of Stephen Porges has brought to our attention the pivotal role this superhighway has on every area of our body and therefore our life.
So what does it do for us?
When the vagus nerve is operating at it’s best it is connecting the messages from our organs, our thoughts, our conscious and our unconscious into one smooth multi level pathway of health, calm and ease on a daily basis.
And isn’t that what we have been looking for?
A few of the issues toning the Vagus Nerve can help with
Sound too good to be true?
Well my research and work on myself and clients has really helped take what I do up another level. Resolving past issues, helping the body operate physically with more balance and connection, quicker healing, less anxiety and more pleasure and satisfaction in life are major goals that most of us would like to aim for.
What can I do to tone my Vagus Nerve?
Heart Rate Variability breathing – High Coherence Breathing. (Heart Math)
Simple crossing the Mid line Exercises eg BrainGym
Gargling – anything that stimulates your vocal cords is good.
Meditation – Loving kindness meditation
Washing your face with icy water–cold water on your face stimulates the vagus nerve–remember this next time you’re feeling really stressed out.
Emotional Freedom Technique and Hypnosis
My work building a raft of trance based techniques including Hypnosis, NLP and Emotional Freedom Technique has been dedicated to helping clients move forward in their lives. The addition of working with and toning the Vagus Nerve has been another major addition to helping clients access even more meaningful and simple yet empowering tools that they can use on a daily basis to help turn their lives around.
If you would like to know more just email or call me and I will be very happy to help.
The problem for clients wishing to relieve (without reliving!) and let go of past trauma in therapy is that it can feel very uncomfortable to speak about something that has left a deep and uncomfortable impression on one’s life. Also the thought of unburdening deep and painful experiences to a stranger can mean that one to one therapy may be impossible to even contemplate.
However using a mix of Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing I have put together a way of letting the unconscious mind do the work of putting space between oneself and the past without even having to consciously think or talk about it.
This may seem a little strange. However, how long would it take us to cover every aspect and every one of our past traumas in talking therapy? And how would we know if we have covered them all? And what about the ones we don’t remember plus the ones passed on genetically from our parents and their parents?
As a hypnotherapist if people wish to talk about past experiences that is fine but not everybody does. In fact I regularly work with clients who would prefer not to talk through the past and it is amazing the changes that can occur as their unconscious quietly goes about the task of reprocessing this information and releasing it with virtually no emotional involvement. In fact it is not unusual for me to know very little, if anything about the personal depth of the issues we are working on.
Therapy is always moving forward and just as the days of the hypnotist’s swinging watch and chain are gone so there are new and extremely effective ways of dealing with many, many issues.
For more information about this or any other issues just call or email and I will be happy to help.
Always seek appropriate medical advice.
This experience is a message from our primal brain saying it does not, for whatever reason feel safe. Once the primal brain is activated like this it is very hard to switch off because it is in effect four times stronger than our frontal “thinking” cortex at getting it’s message across to the body.
Basically the frontal cortex, which can think logically for us, resides in the front of the skull and the primal primitive brain at the back of the skull. So once a panic attack begins generally no amount of logical thinking will turn it off and we just have to go through the experience until the body runs out of adrenaline and we can begin to calm down.
However there is a lot we can do ourselves to bring those feelings into check and manage them until they become fewer and fewer in our lives. Using hypnosis is a perfect tool to help calm the nervous system and regain control of the uncomfortable physical and emotional feelings. Also there are breathing strategies available that will help us to breath in a way that relaxes rather then excites the nervous system. Also subtle trance based ways of thinking can help us turn this around.
The beauty of using trance based techniques such as hypnotherapy is that not only does it make it easier to slip into a comfortable state of relaxation but also the trance state helps us bypass the conscious mind and generate change on a deeper unconscious level.
If you would like to know more about hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique, NLP and other ways of engaging your creative mind for relaxation and change do feel free to contact me and I will be very happy to help.
Always seek medical advice when appropriate.
A recent article in the i Newspaper (3rd November 2016) by Eve Simmons highlights a real lack of information regarding men with eating disorders.
Statistics appear skewed probably partly by the male psyche and society’s unconscious restrictions on men “owning up” to having any sort of mental health issues. So understandably a lot of eating disorder information is aimed at women but as Eve Simmons article points out “men get eating disorders too.”
Figures from The National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence estimate 11% of eating disorder sufferers are male and 6.4 percent of all adults displayed some form of an eating disorder. So as they point out those figures in fact point to more like a 25% figure for males.
The good news is that it is possible to recover from an eating disorder and with the right help and focus remove this often devastating illness from your life.
Here is a copy of the SCOFF questionnaire developed by John Morgan at Leeds Partnerships NHS Foundation Trust that can help sufferers check if they have some or all of these pointers
* Do you ever make yourself sick because you feel uncomfortably full
*Do you worry that you have lost control over how much you eat?
*Have you recently lost more than one stone in a three month period?
*Do you believe yourself to be fat when others say you are thin?
*Would you say that food dominates your life?
According to SCOFF a positive of two or more answers to these questions should raise your awareness of a possible issue.
Mental/health Awareness week will take place May 8 – 14th in 2017.
If you haven’t experienced hypnotherapy before it can be a little daunting wondering what will happen and how you will feel when in hypnosis. Most of us have seen stage shows and hypnotists on television so understandably one may feel a little wary. However hypnosis could be one of the most relaxing experiences you have had but unfortunately the thoughts of “will I cluck like a chicken or tell all my darkest secrets” can make us somewhat guarded at that first appointment.
Now, a professional hypnotherapist would not make any of their clients cluck like a chicken and you certainly will not be telling anybody anything that you would rather keep to yourself.
However these worries can set up an unconscious resistance before we even cross the threshold so it is best to be aware of these thoughts to help allow yourself to participate as comfortably as you like in the session.
First, remember that the therapist is there to help you and has your best interests at heart. One of the strengths that Milton Erickson, the founder of modern hypnosis had, along with his remarkable skills was his ability to unconsciously convey to his clients how much he cared that they achieve the very best results.
Consciously knowing this means that there will be no need to “do battle” with the hypnotherapist. Just think how much more relaxed will you feel and how much easier it will be when both of you are working together. Those who arrive with arms folded and a “well fix me then” look on their face will take up valuable time in their session when they could be making valuable changes instead.
One reason for this resistance is that our logical thinking mind may not want us to do this work since our logical mind may not want to hand over control to the creative mind. (Yes you can relax, it will still be your mind not the hypnotherapists’!) What the logical mind can find hard to grasp at times is that accessing the power of our creative mind will help free our logical mind thereby encouraging the whole brain to work more harmoniously. The vast majority of clients are very easy to work with and if there is any discomfort then as professionals it is our job to help put the client at ease so they will leave the session happier and more relaxed than when they came so helping them achieve their best results.
So all you have to do is bring along the belief that you will be exploring wonderful and powerful ways to help let go of the issues you will be working on plus three experiences that will help you get the best possible results –
Reading one of Katy Bowman’s Nutritious Movement blogs she said “Vision is a whole body issue” and I would entirely agree with her. (In fact if you haven’t read any of her books I would encourage you to do so. Alignment Matters is where I started and I think I have bought one for pretty much everyone in my family now!)
And now I am adding to her sentence “and a mind issue”.
For a while I have been using the eyes and eye movements as part of my modalities for change in coaching and therapy sessions. I have some training in EMDR (Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) which specifically uses certain eye movements to help release and reprocess traumatic memories and emotions that are locked in the brain. It can be especially valuable in helping clients suffering from PTSD.
However I also have various other strategies I use that I find very simple that help take the sting out of residual painful emotions. These strategies have been developed through my interest in how we use our eyes and our ability to see and the links to the body’s nervous system.
I wonder how many of us have thought much about the many connections to the body and mind that are continually happening beyond your everyday awareness? Once we can harness simple understandings and make conscious and unconscious adjustments in this area it can make a noticeable positive difference to awareness and experience of the world on a daily basis.
The beauty of this, is that it is something we can become aware of and make a difference to virtually all day without even trying. After all we will spend all day (hopefully) with our eyes open so a simple change of awareness in how we and where we look is going to take virtually no extra time at all however busy we are.
It is interesting how the eyes and our looking pop up into everyday conversation all the time. Take these phrases
“Things are looking up”
“He can’t see the wood for the trees”
“It’s not looking good”
“I can’t seem to focus on the issue”
You “Get the picture.” Feel free to add a few of your own.
They are all unconscious references to what we are seeing. “How are things today?” “Things are looking up” We may see it as a pleasant enough reply to the question but where we do we look when things are not going well? We look Down.
So there is a continuous loop of unconscious positive or negative information just being generated from where and how we are looking and using our eyes. It is a fact that relaxing and widening our peripheral vision will immediately help engage the parasympathetic nervous system, the part that helps us relax and ideally balances with the sympathetic nervous system which engages our body into stimulus responses.
So “What are we all looking for?” We may be looking for a good time, some relief, some relaxation, some pleasure or just some peace and quiet. Perhaps we need to look no farther than in front of our own nose?
The dictionary definition of a bully is “A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker”
Any sort of bullying is pretty despicable and there has recently been a lot of media talk about bullying in the workplace.
First of all it is important that anyone who thinks they may be being bullied carefully organises their strategies by logging incidents, getting help from their union and keeping as best one can everything on a professional level.
Bullying at work can include sexual harassment, spreading rumours, undermining someone’s work and can be perpetrated face to face, by email, letter or phone. This constant undermining of someone’s personality and competence is likely to have a severely detrimental effect on the victim’s self esteem and ability to carry out their work efficiently.
However bullies are generally pretty weak and cowardly individuals and will soon back off when they are shown that we are not prepared to put up with this type of intimidation.
So how does one turn this around and wipe that seemingly indelible word “victim” from our forehead that seems to unconsciously attract this unpleasant sort of person?
One way of looking at it is that the bully is acting from their child self and therefore it is easy for them to spot someone else who may also be acting from their child self. So the bully is behaving as if they were perhaps 14 years old and they have spotted a victim who is unconsciously coming from perhaps their 8 year old self.
Now we all can unconsciously at times interact from our younger selves and someone who lacks confidence may really feel stuck in that past time frame without even being aware of it. Unfortunately bullies have an innate ability to spot this, also without consciously knowing it so will home in on their prey knowing that they are unlikely to get any trouble back from someone who is lacking in confidence.
So the point here is the importance of not only taking your issue through the appropriate channels but also to find techniques and strategies that build up confidence and self esteem in a healthy and empowering manner. We all have our younger parts of us that have helped us develop into the person we have become but your 8 year old doesn’t want to be dealing with awkward people with misplaced egos in the office. Our 8 year old just wants to play. It is our full grown up self that has the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to handle the sort of situations grown ups handle.
So learning and developing strategies that will help us feel comfortable and empowered in our full grown up self will help us deal with these situations in a much more grown up and effective way. Once the bully unconsciously recognises there is a change of dynamics and energy nine times out of ten they will soon back away. The most important thing is that you will become your full authentic self and confidently take on that knowledge, wisdom and experience that is yours. I have seen a complete change in body language and energy within just ten minutes when a client literally steps into that full self that is theirs to take with them.
If you have been suffering from any sort of bullying and would like to discuss any of the points in this post just call or email me and I will be happy to help.
We all have a past and we all have “baggage” from our past but are those past experiences holding you back from connecting with the person inside that is “trying to get out”?
Many people do a wonderful job of getting on with their lives even though they may have experienced trauma or abuse in childhood or later. And many are getting on with their lives but unfortunately still stuck with feelings of guilt, shame, anger and fear.
I never cease to be amazed at the resilience of the human psyche, however if one can begin to heal these past scars and reclaim the real, authentic and confident self that you know could be “you” what difference would that make to your life now and in the future?
The problem here is that these experiences can be “tucked” safely away in our unconscious and the thought of going to therapy and bringing everything back into the conscious mind may seem too much to even contemplate. And I really do understand that.
Many survivors of an abusive past will go for counselling or psychotherapy to talk through these past issues and this can help bring resolution, but what if the thought of going over and over and sharing all the uncomfortable details of your past with someone you don’t know feels far too intimidating and frightening?
Well there are other options, and therapies using Self Hypnosis confidence and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) can be a very powerful way of getting your life back and helping yourself to enjoy your life so much more and leaving behind that shame, anger and fear without having to go through it all again. And why would you want to “go through it all again”?
Now this is not to say that all hypnotherapists and EFT practitioners will use these techniques in a “content free” way so you will need to discuss with the therapist how they work before committing yourself.
I have found that the more I work in these areas with clients the less of the background details I need to know and interestingly the more I work in this “content free” way the more effective the changes become. If a client wishes to tell their story then that is fine but sometimes it is just too painful or we may not even consciously remember anything about it because we have safely repressed that information and trying to unearth it would probably not be a good idea anyway.
Using EFT and hypnotherapist glasgow in specific ways designed to help clients unconsciously release bad memories is often remarkably effective and I have seen clients achieve massive changes in confidence and self esteem within one or two sessions with very little discussion about their past and how it made them feel. An important part of the work is releasing that connection but releasing so that one can become free to build a life that looks forward instead of back.
So what I am saying here is that my experience tells me that releasing trauma and difficult past experience does not need to be a long and painful drawn out affair. You really can put space between you and the past in a healthy and safe way with the absolute minimum of discomfort.
If you feel your future is being blighted by your past then you can call or email me and I will be happy to discuss this with you.
Now this could be my shortest post yet and it could also be the shortest and simplest way to helping you on your way to finding much more pleasure in your life.
Question. How much time do you spend on Facebook? (Just skip this if you’re not on Facebook, it won’t matter!) How often do you “like” someone’s post? How often do you receive a message saying someone “Likes” your post. How does that make you feel?
Now if you want to create more pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction in your life start to notice today, starting right now any small pleasurable experience however seemingly insignificant, any satisfying achievement that happens and just press your own internal “Like” button. This simple thought process will send a subtle but powerful surge of Alpha (dreamy) waves through your brain and you just rewired your brain right?
As a hypnotherapist and mind coach, clients come to see me to help them change their experience of the world they are in. How can we do that?
A/ By letting go of past issues that are keeping us stuck where we are.
B/ By reorganising our thinking patterns which in turn rewires our brain.
Do this on a daily basis and see what happens. Start right now.
Press your own “LIKE” button.
(And press it twice if you liked this post!)
I am getting more and more enquiries about help for stress related issues. Some will be about stress at work, some stress in relationships and many just a feeling of being generally overwhelmed with nothing the client can put a finger on.
To cope effectively with pressure, motivation and excitement in our lives and to get things done, perform at work and deal with everyday issues effectively we need the mind and body to be able to “wind up” to a certain level that will give us the energy to do the things that need doing. However, the problem is being able to let go of the excess tension at the appropriate moments, to be able to calm the body and mind so that we do not get locked in an internal “flight or flight” loop that seems impossible to get out of.
Ideally we should be able to move reasonably easily from a state of medium or even high internal tension to a more relaxed state of being since there is nothing inherently wrong with the state of stress in itself. In fact it is an indication that our body is doing all the right things, it just means that it is not doing “all the right things in the right order” and that is when we get stuck in a primal part of the brain that is only designed to “save” us but does not have the tools to make rational and organised decisions. Hence, we feel as if we are out of control.
Feeling out of control is an extremely uncomfortable feeling and if we have no tools or strategies to help us regain some feeling of being in control then we will be left feeling helpless and hopeless. This then leads to a series of physical, emotional, behavioural, and cognitive symptoms to which there seems no way out. (Always first consult your GP in any case.) So what is the answer to this problem and what techniques can help?
It can also be useful to use more than one technique that will support and help a client achieve the best results. There are many therapies such as acupuncture, CBT, counselling and massage out there that will help with stress but in my opinion for stress and anxiety issues Hypnotherapy is one of the most simple, safe and effective ways to help rapidly calm and heal the mind and body. (If you would like to sample a free hypnosis experience there is a download at the top of the home page of my website.) Meditation, mindfulness and yoga are very popular now and any one or combination of these other techniques with the right professional practitioner will help alleviate the symptoms of stress. Sometimes it can be beneficial to use a variety of techniques to help strengthen the parasympathetic (relaxation part) nervous system and achieve a more dynamic balance over the whole system.
We will all come up against many times of stress during our lives and they may be big or small instances but learning how to deal with them is the key.
If you would like any more information on how I am helping clients deal with stress and anxiety and how Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and my own simple and powerful strategies designed to help turn your thinking around on a daily basis please call or email and I will be happy to help.
Andy Murray competing in the 2016 French Open tennis quarter finals was heard to shout “Absolute Turnip” to himself as he fought to break the serve of big hitter John Isner. Apparently this is a phrase he has been using for a few years now, presumably for shots that were not his best and it certainly worked on this occasion.
However, how often during the day do we talk to ourselves and are we really listening to what we say to ourselves carefully? Pretty much everything we say to ourselves will have some unconscious effect on our perception of ourselves and our skills. It may not be enough for us to notice any immediate difference but the “drip, drip” effect of this self talk can easily make a big difference to our confidence and self esteem over time.
Now we may find it amusing to call ourselves or our tennis game “absolute turnip” but remember that your unconscious mind is listening to everything you say and may not be translating it the way you expect.
Have you ever told a child “now don’t drop those plates”? Seems to be very good advice and a very good suggestion. But what message does the unsuspecting youngster hear first? Drop the plates!! Why, because the brain will first do a quick rehearsal of “drop the plates” before adding in “don’t”. Too late! The plates are on the floor and broken before the conscious mind has a chance to save the situation.
There is a very good book “Your body believes every word you say” and if we think about it for a moment we cannot have an emotional feeling without a physical reaction any more than we can experience something physical without some sort sort of emotional experience. Plus, our mind is constantly making decisions for us before we know we have even thought of them. This is a very useful thing since this leaves the prefrontal cortex free to make our executive decisions and operate hopefully with our best interests in mind, while we carry on doing our everyday tasks like walking downstairs or washing up.
So it’s well worth paying a little more attention to your “self talk” bearing in mind that there are lots of different parts of you listening to what you say and interpreting that information perhaps not in the way you expect. Maybe saying our tennis is “absolute turnip” is no big deal but saying derogatory statements about ourselves and our skills certainly is. We all deserve better so make sure you do a bit of weeding around that unconscious vegetable patch and grow some more positive thoughts. It really will make a difference.
How easy do you find it to forgive? I think for most of us it is a very hard thing to do and seems to go against every primal instinct in our body and mind. We may spend weeks, months, years or even a lifetime, harbouring thoughts of retribution and revenge but where does that get us?
The interesting thing is that if for a moment we can bring our thoughts out of our primal (or reptilian) brain (yes we all have one of those!) and into our frontal cortex (put your palm above your eyebrows and over your forehead.. yes, you’ve got it) the thinking part of our brain knows that we are the only one hurting ourselves whilst the perpetrator is most likely away enjoying their life free of any of the malignant feelings that are keeping us stuck in a very painful place.
OK, we may be right and they may be wrong. We can all do righteousness can’t we? But the truth is it is only ourselves who are hurting, and tainting our lives and future with poisonous thinking.
Now I am not saying that this is easy but it is worth thinking about isn’t it? I say to my clients that we can “do” forgiving as a purely selfish act and that is OK. Why do I think it is OK? Simply because it is better than ruining the rest of your life in a state of hatred and turmoil while the other party gets on with their life, most likely without a second thought!
Another valuable part of forgiveness is to forgive oneself. Yes this is important but something we don’t always think of. Forgive yourself for getting into that mess, for being taken in, for not seeing it coming. Whatever it is forgive and allow yourself to move on. If forgiveness is just a step too far at the moment then use the word accept. Acceptance also helps us move forward with our own lives without bringing past issues and personalities along with us on our journey.
The quality of your journey is more important than anything else and the less baggage you carry around the better your life experiences will be, now and in the future. And also this is very important for everyone around you . It can be a tough, tough call but just start breaking the resistance down bit by bit and you will find the changes will free you to live and enjoy the life you deserve.
If you need help with forgiveness, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is one of the most rapid and powerful ways to release yourself from past history and rebuild your life. Youtube EFT or click this link to give it a go on your own, EFT tapping forgiveness or just get in touch with me and I will be happy to help with any support, questions or advice.
Although there is no doubt that it could make our lives more comfortable we have all heard the saying “money can’t buy you happiness”. So if money can’t make us happy what can and what can we do to get more of this thing called happiness? After all if we can find the secret to happiness it should be easy shouldn’t it? Just follow a simple set of rules and just be – well, happy?
But what does it actually feel like and what do we have to do that will “switch on” that feeling of pleasure, satisfaction and real meaning in our lives? Of course if I knew the answer to that I would be an extremely rich person and also have the “answer” to happiness! A win, win situation don’t you think?
However I do have one or two useful tips that I use to help myself and my clients engage with a mindfulness mindset that helps one highlight and acknowledge the subtle things that are happening around us all the time that will give us pleasure if we allow ourselves a few moments to acknowledge them.
By now we should pretty much on the same page and agreed that money and consumer items may give a passing experience of pleasure but there is often still a feeling that something is missing.
A few years ago while I was wrestling with my thoughts over this conundrum it suddenly struck me that the experiences I was looking for were happening all around me pretty much all the time but the problem was that I just wasn’t paying enough attention to them. For instance when I walked out of the front door and the sun was shining it may have registered somewhere in my brain that it was a pleasant experience but had I truly connected with it and acknowledged it in a way that would help me experience a meaningful difference to my day?
Then I realised the answer was staring me in the face at which point it all looked so obvious. If I could make that subtle and almost imperceptible fleeting experience just a little stronger and last a just a little longer what would happen and how would it impact the rest of my day? One thing I did know was that every time we get a pleasurable experience the mind subtly switches gear and sends an alpha wave (pleasant dreamy feeling) across the brain.
Now there was still one small problem, how would I, without interrupting my stride, simply and easily strengthen this message?
For those of us on Facebook we all know that there is a “like” button and Facebook knows a lot more about what is going on in our brains than we might want to imagine. When you press the “like button” or someone reciprocates a pleasurable alpha wave automatically and unconsciously flits across your brain giving you a little dose of the feel good factor (dopamine). Simple isn’t it? So there and then I just started pressing my own “like” button in my mind whenever I saw the opportunity. It may have been the sun coming out, noticing the colour of a flower or enjoying a pleasant coffee break, in fact anything that was simple and pleasurable that I may have missed or discounted as trivial or had just been passing me by while my ego had been focusing on “important stuff.”
So why is it so effective and yet so simple? Because your creative mind “likes” simple (or rather creative) and doesn’t need a mathematical formula or algorithm to make powerful change.
So try it out. It is simple, it takes up no time, no one knows you are doing it and it could help you experience a little more happiness and pleasure in your day, every day.
Press your own “like” button and have fun.
If you would like more information about how Hypnosis, EFT and NLP could make a real difference in your life just call me on 07970218451 or email and I will be happy to help.
How angry are you? Do you “lose it” over the slightest thing? Do you find yourself seething inside feeling as if no one ever understands you? Is your driving getting scarily aggressive and is everyone on the road “in your way”?
These are just a few of the symptoms we can experience when anger gets out of control and if so it is time to get to work on it before things get much worse.
There are lots of ways we can express our anger, and anger is a natural human expression. It is also a very powerful primal instinct designed to keep us safe from dangerous situations and if it gets out of control can create havoc in our life and for the lives of those around us. In our modern world we are no longer in day to day hostile environment but “acting out” as if were can lead to many situations that are unhealthy, unsafe and dangerous.
Unchecked anger can ruin relationships, health and the enjoyment of life. It drives away family and friends, can lead to loss of jobs and income and even our freedom by making us do things we regret later. Controlling anger is not usually a difficult thing to do and once we have the skills and understanding about what is going. With this in place then life can begin to turn around into a pleasure rather than literally a continuous fight.
Anger triggers the “fight” part of the “fight or flight” response which when left unchecked starts to operates on an uncontrollable “hair trigger” and that is a very dangerous situation to get into.
Since we all are programmed to experience some anger it is important thing to be able to manage and control it in a healthy way. When we have the tools to do this the anger can be diffused and will not be able to hijack our emotions as it may have done in the past.
There are many ways to help guide one’s mind and thinking into a more relaxed and healthier pattern such as exercise, yoga, meditation, mindfulness and finding a hobby. However it can also be important to get some professional help. I use a variety of techniques such as hypnosis, EFT and NLP that are all designed to help clients regain control and enjoy their lives on a daily basis. Hypnosis is an exceptionally valuable tool to help teach the body’s nervous system how to relax and also release physically and emotionally. An expert professional will often be able to turn this around in two or three sessions and give you the tools to continue these changes on a daily basis.
If you would like any more information on this subject and the help available to enable you to make a remarkable difference in your life then please call or email and I will be very happy to help.
On Thursday this week (February 4th 2016) it will be “Time To Talk” day. Time To Talk day has been organised for the last three years by charities Mind, and Rethink Mental Illness under the umbrella Time To Change and the aim is to encourage people to share their feelings and discuss their stories and personal experiences about mental health in person and via Facebook and Twitter.
Although this is primarily a project that has been been organised in England over the last three years, in Scotland, England and Wales one in four people will suffer from some sort of mental health issue and encouraging people to talk about it can only help break down the taboos and difficulties around discussing mental illness.
For various reasons people find it hard to talk openly about mental illness so engaging everyone helps bring into the open a subject that has been in need of more awareness and understanding for a long time now. It is really much more common than we think and this initiative can only help and encourage a greater understanding and support for anyone going through difficult times. Knowing that you are not alone is invaluable in helping support the healing process.
According to a Time to Change survey 60% of those interviewed found the stigma and discrimination around issues such as depression, anorexia and anxiety were as debilitating as the symptoms they were suffering. If we have a physical illness we are much less likely to keep it to ourselves than a mental one because of the stigma surrounding mental illness.
Talking with friends and family is a great therapy but there is a point when one needs to take the next step and that is of course seeing your GP, and or appropriate professional organisation who will be able to help you get the best treatment.
The three charities below are a good place to start if you or someone you know is having difficulty in getting the support and advice they need.
For more about Time To Talk day follow this link
Time to Talk
See me Scotland is a Scottish charity also with the aim of ending mental health stigma and discrimination and for Wales follow the link below for more information
So here we are halfway through January 2016 but also halfway through “dry January” which means taking up the challenge not to drink any alcohol until February. Alcohol Concern who are running The campaign point out the significant benefits such as weight loss, better sleep and of course more money in your pocket.
The question is, what happens on February 1st? On that day many people will make an important change in their habits and from their experience of “dry January” take stock of their situation. Having experienced the benefits of moderate drinking or even not drinking at they will make the decision to stop or cut down on their habit.
However writing in The British Medical Journal Ian Hamilton, lecturer at York University raises the question whether after this 31 days abstinence it might just give some people unconscious permission to continue with their dangerous levels of drinking until the next New Year’s Day.
The good news is that according to research by Public Health England after the 2015 campaign 67% of participants actually continued the changes they had made in January and were still maintaining a more healthy level of drinking after 6 months.
However if you find you are using drink to support or ignore other issues in your life this self medication is not a healthy way to deal with problems in one’s life especially on a long-term basis.
There is help available and just taking that first step to get help is the most important thing to do in this situation. There is a wide variety of options available from an appointment with your Doctor, a visit to AA and other specialist organisations that have the skills and knowledge to help. The sooner one deals with this the better and the sooner, as one long term alcoholic described it, the sooner one will be released from “living in the madness”
There can be many reasons why one may use alcohol but it is almost always to divert one’s attention from issues that at some point will need addressing. With the right help one can start to put one’s life back together and learn the skills that will make the difference between fulfilment and pleasure in life or a steady descent into “the madness”.
If you feel you may be “Living in the Madness” and would like to know more about how I help clients with addictions I will be pleased to discuss this with you. I offer powerful tools, strategies and techniques that have helped many of my clients completely rebuild their self belief, confidence and their lives. Please call or email and I will tell you how I can help you.
This week (11-17 October 2015) is OCD Awareness week and already there have been suggestions that this emotionally painful and destructive condition is still being served up with a mild “vanilla” flavouring!
That is the sort of phrase that is often thrown into a conversation but in truth is way off the mark. Unless we find that what we imagine are our “OCD” compulsions and repetitive thoughts are leaving us feeling anxious to the point of exhaustion, powerless, helpless and continually burdened with a feeling of guilt (and these are just a few of the debilitating symptoms sufferers experience) it is unlikely that our being “a bit OCD” has very much resemblance at all to what it really feels like to suffer OCD on a daily basis.
A recent BBC Horizon programme about OCD was titled “A Monster in my Mind” and that title really sums up the daily experience that invades the life of someone with OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder “hijacks” the logical and cognitive thinking processes often virtually rendering the ability to get on with one’s everyday life almost impossible.
A list of some common symptoms of OCD
Fears that you might murder someone
Thoughts of sexual violence
Worrying you may have run someone over
Worry that you may have offended God
Worries that you may have contracted a serious illness.
Fear of contamination
These are just a few of the thinking patterns that get stuck in a loop in the mind.
The choices of treatments on the NHS are mainly medication and cognitive behavioral therapy and OCD can take over someone’s thoughts and actions so powerfully that there is often a case for medication to help calm the system even to get treatment started.
According to recent research we have a primal operating system in the brain that is continually checking in the background for anything that might be dangerous to our survival. So in one sense we are all operating with the same equipment and perhaps are “a bit OCD” but if this equipment is switched on permanently at full tilt it becomes a recipe for continuous mental torture.
I use a range of techniques and strategies that are designed to help quieten these overactive messages.
If you would like more information about how Hypnosis, EFT and NLP can help you please contact me.
How is your life today compared to the life you would like? Do you feel that something is missing, that you have so much more to offer but don’t know where to start? Is your career and confidence stalling and you feel you are just not getting the pleasure out of your life that you could? Perhaps this affecting your relationships?
What if strategies and techniques were available right now to help open the door to creativity, higher conscious awareness, inner peace and happiness?
Happiness is something that starts within and can’t be found outside ourselves and it is only when we have the good luck or the tools to help discover the secrets to generating happiness in our lives that we can truly begin to move towards our full potential.
Self Hypnosis, NLP, and EFT have within them many unique strategies for change and are powerful techniques that can help deliver the experiences in your life that you have been looking for. In fact in my experience they have within them vital tools and techniques to help begin to generate powerful change in confidence, self belief and inner peace that will last a lifetime.
Hypnosis not only helps us learn how relax but is a gateway to the unconscious from where we can access the brainwaves (Alpha and Theta) that open the doors to creative change and the release of blocks that may have been holding us back from fully believing in and engaging our unique talents.
NLP “a system of alternative therapy based on this which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour.” Richard Bandler, co-founder of NLP
EFT is form of acupressure based on tapping on with your fingers on meridian points (the points an acupuncturist would put a needle in) while voicing any problems or issues that may need releasing and using positive affirmations to help channel one’s energy into a healthier direction. This helps relax our thinking and body thus clearing a path to moving one’s life on in an empowering way.
I use these techniques to help my clients make very positive and powerful changes in their lives and give them the tools to continue these changes into their future. By contacting a professional therapist who uses these techniques you can find that you could develop your self hypnosis confidence, building self esteem and creativity and quality of life rapidly and successfully.
SSRI’s, the modern anti-depressants have been available on the NHS since the 1990’s but year on year there has been a notable rise in the number of prescriptions written for them….Staggering rise in prescribing of antidepressants.
It would seem that depression is becoming an epidemic and although recommendations are that SSRI’s work most effectively when used alongside a talking therapy it is increasingly harder for the NHS to offer talking therapies since there are long waiting lists for these appointments. So what complimentary therapies are there available to help support someone experiencing depression?
The therapies of choice generally offered by the NHS include CBT and Counselling. As a hypnotherapist it is unfortunate to see that hypnotherapy for stress is not as widely recognized as a viable alternative for treating depression since it has many unique features that can be a powerful support when used alongside anti-depressant medication.
Anti-depressants are said to work by altering the brain chemistry. Hypnosis also alters the balance of the brain chemistry but the client will naturally alter it themselves under the guidance of the therapist by using one’s own natural ability to create the changes in mood and experience they desire. Altering out brain chemistry may sound on the surface a bit drastic but we are continually doing this each and every moment of our lives. The aim is to be able to give ourselves more choice in the quality of our lives and experiences and become able to generate these changes oneself.
If this were possible by using our cognitive mind then we would all be able to reason our way out of any uncomfortable psychological thinking loop and no longer need any medical or psychotherapeutic help. Unfortunately it is not that simple and when we imagine a new experience or thought, different neural pathways in the brain connect and light up triggering, beyond our conscious awareness a chemical change in the body and brain that relates to and alters the quality of our experience emotionally. However a pill does not know your life history or what feelings you maybe experiencing at any particular moment in time so it has to use a scatter gun” approach which can be hit or miss or even according to recent reports cause more depression than you started off with!.. anti-depressants may be worsening depression not treating it.
A skilled hypnotherapist will aim to help the client adjust their conscious and unconscious state of mind in such a way that their perception of life can radically change for the better. The skilled professional therapist will also have the techniques and strategies available that help alleviate any emotional difficulties around past patterns and experiences. This will then leave the client in a much better place to adjust their internal and external experiences so that the chemistry of the brain will realign itself to a balance where life can become a much more positive experience than previously experienced.
Many hypnotherapists will also have some knowledge of counselling, and CBT skills and other powerful strategies. For instance I have certificates in psychotherapy and counselling and knowledge of many other psychotherapeutic practices as I know many of my colleagues do. This makes available a wide range of therapeutic options to help tailor the treatment to each client’s individual needs.
Advice on medication is strictly between doctor and patient. However it is my understanding that these days the medical profession will rarely suggest anyone stay on antidepressants for the long term. Medication can be a valuable prop to help us get on with life when things are tough and we have nowhere else to turn, but it will never be able to resolve one’s personal underlying issues and generate a change in your mindset that is genuinely of your own making.
For more information please call or email and I will be happy to help and discuss any issues with you.
“You have changed my life and gave me the tools to cope and carry on making those changes” ST (After 3 sessions having suffered chronic depression for 25 years.)
There is a post doing the rounds on Facebook at the moment that says “want a bikini body? Put on a bikini and stop giving a s*** what everyone else thinks!!”
Fighting talk, and amusing enough if you don’t actually care what people think. However many people worry very much about “what everyone else thinks” and it can be very hard to acquire the confidence and thick skin to ignore those thoughts. “What other people think of me is none of my business” is one of my favourite quotes but we live in a culture that celebrates celebrity. We have celebrities on our TVs and ipads every moment of the day setting new trends in fashion, body image and status. Also we may be struggling with past conditioning without even knowing what it is that is keeping us in a low self esteem, lack of confidence mindset.
Lack of confidence in ourselves emotionally and lack of confidence on a physical level will have a profound effect on how we act, react and communicate in pretty much all our everyday communications, social and business . This obsession with body image and how we perceive ourselves and imagine others perceive us can easily tip over into even more destructive issues such as depression and eating disorders so it is important to get good professional help to turn this around and get one’s life back.
No one should have to spend their lives short changing themselves on confidence, happiness and self respect and although the reasons behind these feelings may be complex that does not mean it need take a long time and a lot of therapy sessions to turn this around. Techniques such as Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), EMDR (Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) and NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) can help achieve real and positive freedom from this state often in a remarkably short period of time.
All these techniques have a positive track record in achieving rapid and lasting change that other therapies cannot always match. If we could change just by thinking consciously and knowing consciously what we want to change then it would not in most cease be a problem. However it is rarely as simple as that. However the reason that change can be so rapid and effective with these therapies is that they all help connect with our creative unconscious, the very part of us that has the tools to reprogramme our feelings and thoughts.
It may feel a daunting task to turn something such as this round but with the right help it can be a life affirming experience that has the promise to make massive change in a very healthy way.
If you would like any more information just call or email and I will be very happy to help.
“I can’t believe so much has changed in my thinking in the last few weeks., and I feel in a different place again. I am so much more confident and positive. Thank you.” – DG
I have been using EFT in my practice for many years now and it never ceases to amaze me how simple and effective this technique is. If you want a technique that you can use and take with you “in your back pocket” wherever you are and whatever circumstances you are in then EFT is the obvious choice.
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) has been around now for 20 years and was developed by Gary Craig from Roger Callaghan’s Thought Field Therapy. It is termed as an energy psychology and works by tapping on certain acupressure points around the body whilst verbalising (internally or out loud) the issues you are working on.
It is a favourite technique of mine and often clients will come in with no knowledge of it and I will demonstrate to them without initially explaining it a simple round of tapping on the specific points to see what experience they get. They may look a bit perplexed as we begin the “round” tapping on the side of the hand then tapping with the fingers on 7 points around the body whilst reciting the problem out loud. The interesting thing is that even after one or two rounds which will take only a minute of two at most, their face and body will relax and when I ask them how they feel they will usually say, with a pleasantly surprised look on their face, “well, I seem to feel a bit more relaxed”.
This almost instant reduction in the discomfort of the problem is to me proof that meaningful and powerful change has already begun. We may have only just started the session and the work we will do but now my client is also learning a technique that will help empower them on a daily basis. And this will be a technique they will soon learn and be able to take with them and use without me having to be there. As I say to clients “I don’t know what you will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow any more than I know what I will be thinking at 5 o’clock tomorrow” but if it is something you want to deal with then EFT can help you deal with it on the spot.
The well respected complimentary medicine and nutrition expert, osteopath and best selling author Dr Mercola has written various articles about the benefits of EFT and has a video and information about how effective it can be for relieving stress and tension headaches.
EFT can help with many issues including:
Phobia – Sickness phobia – Animals phobia – Insects phobia
Fear of water – Fear of darkness – Social phobia – Night phobia – Fear of plants – Any simple or complex Phobia
Stress – Anxiety – Tenseness – Insecurity – Nervousness – Anger – Hate – Grief – Depression – Guilt – Feeling incompetent
Fear of abandonment – Fear of the future – Fear of persons – Fear of the unknown – Fear of death
Traumatic memory: Rejection, Failure, Duress, Abandonment, Accident, Abuse, Rape, Love pain
Headache – Nervous stomach-ache – Back pain – Pain in the neck – Carpal tunnel syndrome
Pre-menstrual syndrome – Physical pain with no organic cause – Constipation – Irritable bowel – Jaw tightness
Asthma – Constricted breath – Dyspnoea – Chronic diseases – Hypertension – Hypotension – tachycardia – Arrhythmia
Sexual problems (non organic) – Myopia – Vision problems – Allergies of any kind
Dyslexia – Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) – Learning problems – Low school grades
Panic attacks – Bulimia – Cravings – Anorexia nervosa – Overeating – Specific food dislike
Drugs – Alcohol – Smoking – Addictive food – Nervous habits
Plus general improvement and happiness in one’s personal and professional life:
Self-confidence – Self-image – Better relationships – Forgiveness – Procrastination – Goal achievement – Work performance – Sport performance – Personal peace
To find out more about how Emotional Freedom Technique can help you just get in touch and I will be happy help.
Have been meaning to get back to you for ages to say thank you so much for your support with myChronic Fatigue Syndrome. As you know we met just before a very big trip abroad. The two sessions really helped lift my energy levels pretty much from zero to high enough to allow me to pack and get myself to the airport, which was looking a bit doubtful at that point in time.Your techniques supported me throughout the 3 months I was away and I would recommend your methods and support for anyone living with this condition.
People can become addicted to a wide range of substances and behaviours and these substances and behaviours are often things that most of us partake in on a daily basis. They may be drinking, gambling, sex or drugs and although the majority of us don’t engage in class A drug even food, sugar, prescription drugs are all substances that one can become addicted to in an unhealthy way.
There is plenty of debate around whether addiction is a mental illness or a “brain disease” and it is interesting to note that people can often readily switch from one addiction to another. At AA many in the group may well have switched their addiction from drinking alcohol to smoking and drinking copious amounts of coffee. A shopping addict may turn to gambling. It is not necessarily the particular substance or behaviour that is important. Getting the hit is the prize.
In fact an addict is always chasing the experience of their first hit, that almost primal experience that took them out of themselves and the reality of the world they found it hard to be part of. Of course the first hit will never be repeated for intensity and experience so looking to repeat it only continues the cycle.
I work with eating disorders, gambling, prescription drug taking etc. and many of my clients have “done the rounds” of therapies talking about their experiences and being talked to about how to change their lives. However sometimes things can better be “said without saying” which is why I thought it worth posting this video.
Please watch this short video if you or someone you know could be suffering from an addiction
The answers are not in the drug of choice but in our own feelings of self worth and value. Addressing these issues is the first step to freedom from the nightmare of addiction.
These days we regularly hear phrases such as we will “beat this illness or must “battle” against it. On the surface this fighting talk can sound very positive and help demonstrate that we are not just going to lie down and let ourselves be walked over whatever the odds. This in itself may be no bad thing but are there other unforeseen consequences to using this sort of terminology. A recent study at the University of Lancaster found that using “war metaphors” in the “fight” against cancer may not always be as helpful as it might appear.
How often do we hear that someone has” lost their battle” against a serious illness. This type of terminology is glibly used by media, pundits and experts but does it help the person suffering and does it help people recover or prolong their lives? In fact although these battling terms may be helpful for charities to raise money interestingly Macmillan Cancer Support has consciously held back from this sort of terminology. According to researcher Elena Semino professor of linguistics and verbal art at Lancaster University it is best left to the individual to choose their own metaphors to help them with their illness. It was also found that when battle terminology is applied patients may begin to feel a sense of responsibility if their condition deteriorates.
When we are ill what are we looking for? Health.
Whether one is suffering from an emotional or physical illness are we not looking for good health? And the first four letters of health are HEAL. By healing we are truly mobilising the resources of body and mind in a way that makes so much more sense. If we are in a “struggle” to lose weight implicitly we are in a struggle with ourselves. If we are “fighting” a life threatening disease then we could find ourselves fighting our own body! Will we really be able to muster the energy to “battle” with depression when one’s internal resources seem to be so low?
Anyone who has studied and qualified as a hypnotherapist, counsellor or psychotherapist will have been trained in the use of language and the importance of the words chosen and how how best to use them. Hypnosis uses it’s own particular language patterns and these patterns are designed to bypass the conscious mind and communicate with the unconscious mind. Without this we would have to rely on conscious communication to make a change and as we have all experienced at some time or other the conscious mind knows what we “should” be doing but does not always have the tools to make the required changes. Smokers may know that they want to quit but telling oneself is one thing and doing it is another just as telling ourselves to eat healthy food does not always make it happen.
We are using words constantly when communicating with others and when talking internally to ourselves. But are we really aware of what the message might be that is often hidden behind our thoughts and internal conversation and the effect it is creating? I see healing as the focus to bring together the natural resources of mind and body for real and meaningful change. However using such terms as fight, beat, and struggle could just be setting up an internal conflict that will block the results we are looking for.
For more information on how Hypnotherapy, EFT and NLP could help you please call or email and I will be happy to help.
As Mark Twain said in his famous quote “I have known a great many troubles in my life but most of them have never happened”
Many of us spend a lot of our lives worrying about things that seem at the time very important. And yet however overwhelmed we feel by these worries we are “still here at the end of the day to tell the tale.” This is not to say that there are not things in life that we may describe as legitimate worries. But the interesting thing is that when we really have something important to worry about we are often suddenly able to galvanise ourselves into action and deal with the situation in a way that it is hard to imagine possible with minor issues.
So what are the figures when it comes to categorising the quality of worry in our lives? It makes interesting reading.
40% Never happens
30% Has already happened
22% Needless worries
8% Actually happens
Of the last 8% –
4% We have some control over
4% Beyond our control
Putting it into perspective such as this can be a valuable way to help rationalise our responses and manage or defuse them.
However if you think you still need some tools and techniques that will really help you get on with your life there are two tools that I have found to be amongst the best to help release the demon of constant stress, worry and anxiety about things.
Hypnotherapy and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
Why do I think Hypnosis and EFT are so good at helping us make change? Because they speak to the unconscious mind, the part of us that does not have the reasoning powers of the conscious mind but the part that generates change from the creative part of the mind. Most smokers would know logically they should stop like most of us know how to lose a few pounds if we want to lose weight but the conscious mind deals in logic and the bridge to logic and making a change is much harder to cross than the creative bridge from our unconscious. We may consciously know every step we should take but taking those steps is another matter. Harnessing the power of our creative unconscious can really clear the way to making amazing changes in our lives.
If you would like to know more about the techniques I use and how my experience has given me the opportunity to develop strategies that are practical yet amazingly effective to help relieve that uncomfortable “background noise” that is worry just call or email and I will be very happy to chat with you.
Trichotillomania is an emotional disorder similar to OCD. It involves pulling body hairs out, usually one at a time to help experience some form of relaxation or stress relief. Obviously one or two hairs pulled out will not be noticed but continuous hair pulling will soon mean a noticeable bald patch appearing. This will generally add to the distress and hiding the problem becomes another problem in itself. Hair is often pulled from the head but can be from the eyebrows or pubic hair.
The hair pulling can take the form of a ritual, until it feels “just right” or be an automatic, often unconscious action. In psychological terms it may be a way of relieving stress or anxiety, a form of self harm or an addictive behaviour that temporarily relieves the symptoms.
As I suggest to clients it is important first to get a medical opinion, however there are various psychological therapies that can be used, hypnosis being one of them. I help treat clients with this issue using hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) NLP and very importantly helping build the clients’ confidence and self worth.
A recent client was a student who was using the hair pulling to relieve stress around her university course and the pressure of exams. She was pulling hair from her eyebrows but after one session had reduced the habit considerably and after three sessions was feeling much less anxious, more confident and happy and had stopped it altogether. As with any addictive or compulsive behaviour it is important to be prepared for stress triggers in the future and have in place effective tools to deal with such situations. We all know that no one is immune from stress and that there will be times in our lives when it will be impossible to avoid so being prepared to deal with it effectively when or if it arises is very important.
I find hypnosis and EFT a very powerful combination of therapies that offer clients tools that will last them a lifetime and help them regain and continue to keep control of their lives even when the therapy is concluded.
If you would like to discuss any of these issues just call or email me and I will be happy to chat with you.
Do you find yourself worrying about things or feeling anxious without really knowing why? Do you sometimes experience the constant aggravation of uncontrolled thoughts buzzing around your head? I think we all experience this at times but it can get out of hand keeping us distracted during the day and awake at night. We may tell ourselves to stop thinking such thoughts or to try harder to think of something else but that rarely seems to make any difference. So no amount of stern talking to yourself seems to have any effect and in fact may even be making the situation worse! Why is it that these stock phrases and interventions appear to make no difference whatsoever? The reason is that they are all expressed in a way that the conscious mind understands but, as we know, the conscious mind has a lot to say about what we should or shouldn’t be doing but is often short on strategies to actually make the changes we want. Smokers know they want to stop, we might know we want to lose weight and yet we know that there is rarely any value in constant worry but our conscious mind does not always seem to have the tools to make the changes we would like. If it did, there would be no need for hypnotherapy or any therapy at all because we would just give ourselves the message to quit doing or thinking something and the problem would go away like magic!
So how and where can we communicate our needs when we really need to make a change? The answer is with our unconscious mind, our inner mind, the subconscious. Whatever term you use this is a part of you that does not work in logic, formulas or mathematical equations. This part of the mind works with pictures, colours, intuition and is connected to our feelings and instincts and knows how to make changes beyond our conscious awareness. In fact we do not really think consciously because thoughts just seem to appear from our unconscious. Below are my “3 Magic Questions” and they are all aimed at communicating with your creative mind. Because the big obstacle is getting them past the conscious mind they are designed to do that by being formed in a language pattern that the conscious mind does not understand. At first if you read them they may not make a lot of sense but actually they make perfect sense to the creative mind so while the conscious mind is busying itself trying to work out what on earth this could mean the subconscious understands it perfectly! Ask yourself this question, when did you last MAKE yourself feel different about something? All you have to do now is say the phrase to yourself. Just let your unconscious mind work that one out for you. No need to question whether anything has changed or did it work? Your unconscious creative mind knows how to do this and questions put this way are just what it needs to help make a change. This is why hypnotists often use phrases in a way that you would not normally use them in everyday speech. This communication bypasses the conscious mind allowing the information to go straight to the unconscious. Have fun with them and see what happens! My 3 Magic Questions “If my inner mind knows how I would like to feel, how would it do this for me?” “If my inner mind knows how I would like to feel, how would I know that something had changed?” “If my inner mind makes that change now how do I feel?” If you experience chronic and constant worry and anxiety that is really getting in the way of your life then it is a good idea to get professional help starting with your GP. As a Hypnotherapist, NLP and EFT practitioner I am regularly working with clients with anxiety issues with excellent success so if you would like to know more just call 07970218451 or email and I will be very happy to help.
Most of us will have had some experience of anxiety at some point in our lives and that is perfectly normal. Meeting new people, a visit to the dentist or getting prepared for a holiday are just a few example of the type of everyday experiences that may make us feel a bit tense at times. However if anxiety starts to become a constant in our lives that is the time when it is important to address the issues and put into place ways of dealing with it.
In my work I help clients with a large number of issues and have at my disposal a wide range of techniques that I can use depending on the client and their situation. Hypnosis, NLP, EFT and EMDR, are therapies that are very powerful and can be rapidly effective at helping release conscious and unconscious issues that may be contributing to the discomfort a client may be feeling in their everyday lives. In fact what I really like about using these and the other modalities is that I rarely have to go back into great detail about problems from people’s past that they may wish not to delve into too deeply or often cannot even remember consciously.
Now it can be very valuable to help release the past events or experiences that have contributed to distressing feelings but I have developed strategies that I feel are equally important that clients can use on a daily basis wherever they are and at any given moment in time. Life is naturally constantly “happening” to us and we do not know what we are going to experience or how we are going to feel until we are experiencing in and experiencing a situation. If we have no tools to make adjustments on a moment by moment basis we are missing powerful opportunities to help adjust our moment by moment responses in a positive way. To me the constant effect of the underlying rumble of negative and mildly uncomfortable feelings we experience a day by day often barely in our conscious awareness are just as important to address as the larger issues.
One of my favourite techniques consists of three one syllable words -“Let That Go”. It may seem very simple, and it is, which is the beauty of it, However my clients find that by being able to use this phrase whenever a negative feeling or anxiety occurs it simply helps diminish the uncomfortable emotions which can continue to build up almost in a stealth like way. I feel that having tools to address situations at any
time and in any place are as vitally important as the therapy work done in my office.
It is important to get professional help for an anxiety disorder if you notice it is beginning to diminish the pleasure in your life. Using hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) with an experienced practitioner is in my opinion one of the most effective ways to get oneself back to feeling so much better. If left too long generalised anxiety symptoms can begin to develop into anxiety attacks or panic attacks.
So, if any time you have even a mildly negative experience remember that everything counts and saying “Let That Go” to oneself means that you can start to have more control in how you feel. No one else knows what you are saying and there is no need to wonder if it worked or how different you feel because the positive effects are cumulative and it can be surprising how soon you might start to notice yourself feeling that bit better each day. For me it is a tool for life and I hope you enjoy using it.
For more information on the work I do and how I could help you just call 07970218451 or email me and I will be very happy to help.
The issues that immediately spring to mind when considering hypnotherapy are stopping smoking, phobias and weight loss. However there are a surprising number of other conditions that hypnosis can help resolve or at the very least assist in experiencing a better quality of life. In fact there is are few issues that hypnotherapy will not have some form of positive effect on in one way or another. Even the stress and pain of a serious physical problem can be alleviated to some degree with hypnosis. In fact I saw a cancer patient last year and we did some deep relaxation hypnosis and he could not believe how good it felt to just go in his mind to a place of wonderful quiet and relaxation after all the anxiety and troubles that he had been through. A lady with scoliosis and persistent pain since she could remember found she could now enjoy sitting with her daughter right through a television programme without having to continually get up and leave the room just to alleviate the discomfort she had been experiencing.
Other areas that hypnosis can help achieve powerful results in are eating disorders, alcoholism and gambling. These are always notoriously tricky areas for therapists of any modality to treat. However if a client is ready to make a change I have found extremely good results can be achieved using hypnosis. The difference is that hypnosis works via the unconscious creative mind. When given the right tools and information to work with, the creative mind is able to make powerful changes where the conscious mind may have failed. Virtually every smoker knows consciously that they would like to stop but the conscious mind does not always have the tools to make this change. The unconscious creative mind has a different set of tools and is reached by accessing the slower alpha and delta waves the brain generates when we enter a trance state. This part of our mind tends to drive the right side of the brain, the “artist”, whilst the left side is driven more by the “accountant”. There is obviously a lot more to it but you can understand that your accountant is invaluable when it comes to presenting your accounts at the end of the year but you would not commission your accountant to paint a Michelangelo fresco on your ceiling! It is the creative part in us that more often than not holds the key to achieving change where other attempts have failed.
Because our psychological and physical health is so intertwined there is much that can be done to help problems such as Dystonia and my personal view on this issue is that although it is a physical manifestation dystonia can be linked to past programmes that are running unconsciously and creating an internal conflict. Focal Dystonia is a form of dystonia found in musicians and this is obviously career threatening when your fingers will not obey your brain. Similarly so with “the yips” which golfers can suffer from when putting. Here again past experiences can be exerting an unconscious resistance or interference between the muscles and the messages form the brain. Tourettes has a similar effect and there have been many instances of hypnosis massively alleviating the twitches and uncontrolled impulse that result in the sufferer finding themselves unable to prevent shouting out profanities or unintelligible noises in public. Performance, public speaking, procrastination, confidence and anxiety are amongst the many areas I help my clients on a daily basis. They often come to me having tried everything else knowingat using hypnotherapy can bring very rapid results and results that last.
Below is a list of just some of the issues hypnotherapists can help with so whatever the problem locate a qualified and expert practitioner to find out how they could help.
Addictions * Alcohol abuse * Anger management Anxiety * Blushing Bruxism Chronic Fatigue Syndrome * Depression * Drug abuse * Eating disorders * Exam nerves Fear of flying Food addiction * Gambling addiction * Insomnia * Internet addiction * Irritable Bowel Syndrome Low self-confidence * Low self-esteem Obsessions and compulsions * Panic attacks * Phobias * Post-traumatic stress disorder * Public speaking Quit smoking Relationship issues Sex addiction * Sexual issues * Sleep disorders * Sports performance Stress * Stuttering * Weight-loss *
Always check with your medical practitioner if you have any of the * issues above before starting complimentary treatment. For more information just call me on 07970218451 or email me and I will be happy to help you and discuss what positive changes hypnosis could make for you and your life.
Are you familiar with the phrase “post hypnotic suggestion” or “Deep Trance Phenomena”? To a trained hypnotherapist these are hypnosis definitions learnt early on in one’s training but the interesting thing is that you don’t have to be a hypnotist to use them. In fact you might find it very difficult to get through your daily life without accessing either and both of them.
Deep Trance Phenomena describes a variety of states a hypnotist will use or recognise to help a client achieve certain results that they are looking for. Some of the states of DTP could include going back or forward in time (age regression or age progression), time distortion (an experience of speeding up or slowing down of time), or negative hallucination. Now although the terminology may sound quite complex or even a bit weird the experiences are in fact everyday ones that we unconsciously slip in and out of all through the day.
Think of a holiday you enjoyed. Age regression. Think of how slow time can go when you are waiting for something or how quickly when you are engrossed in doing something. Time distortion. And how many times have you looked for something only to find it right in front of you! A negative hallucination. They are happening all the time and we don’t even notice them.
So in fact we are already very experienced at producing these phenomena every day. And what about a post hypnotic suggestion? Well if a hypnotist tells someone in trance that they will be feeling better and better each day it is very likely that as long as the session has covered all the important issues, that person will, without necessarily knowing consciously why, begin to notice an improvement in their well being on a daily basis.
Now what I am getting to here is that it may be very pleasant to be able to have installed the message that you will feel much better every day but have you actually taken any notice of the negative suggestions you may be giving yourself daily. You see, a post hypnotic suggestion is a suggestion that bypasses the conscious mind whilst we are in a hypnotic state, and since we are in fact spending a great deal of our time in some sort of trance or other our self talk can very easily become a post hypnotic suggestion and bypass our conscious radar.
So next time you find yourself saying such things as “I’m no good at that”, “things always seem to go wrong”, “people don’t seem to like me” or similar, (the list is endless!) be aware that you could well be planting the seed of all the experiences you don’t want because you will have given yourself a posthypnotic suggestion. See how good a hypnotist you are!!
If you would like to find out how you can reprogramme your self talk, your inner thoughts, and in fact your whole life in an amazing, positive and fulfilling way do give me a call (07970218451) or Email Roger. To see all services on the website, please click here.
Are you constantly checking your health and cross referencing symptoms on the internet? (Often the more we look the more likely we are to find something that to a non medical professional will appear to match our symptoms. This may then verify in our mind that we definitely must be suffering from this particular illness. In fact people with a health anxiety problem may well imagine that the very anxieties they are experiencing are proof that they have some form of serious illness!
Most of us will naturally worry about our health from time to time and having an awareness and interest in one’s health is a good habit. Unfortunately some people have an over exaggerated tendency worry about their health and once fixated on this ican become all consuming. If one has a tendency to worry a lot then health issues may well be an area that the mind fixates on. Persistent health anxieties can often be linked to OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and obsessional thinking may well be part of the overall picture.
Getting a check-up from a medical practitioner is never something to avoid if we have genuine concern for our health but finding that your life is being taken over with constant unsubstantiated health worries is another issue. Some people with health anxiety will find themselves looking constantly for reassurance from their doctor or talking it through with friends. Others will actually avoid going to see a medical professional for fear of getting their “illness” ratified and so will spend their time in constant fear, worry and pursuing their own “medical research”. Thus, what may have started as a minor worry can soon escalate into paranoia taking over one’s life often to the detriment of personal relationships and career.
A health anxiety issue may come from such sources such as illness as a child, a family member suffering from a serious illness or a family member who has constant anxiety around their health.
I regularly work with clients who are struggling with this issue which may also be linked to depression or an anxiety disorder. I use hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) as the main strategies for healthy change when working with clients with health anxieties. In my practice I find them to be excellent tools to help alleviate the stress and anxieties that go along with this issue helping to bring about a more measured and rational approach to day to day health.
To discuss my services in the first instance, please call 07970218451 and I will be happy to discuss how I could help you.
Always seek advice from a qualified medical practitioner first.
Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia can be very difficult to treat and many people suffering in this area may never fully recover control over the problem. There are many different reasons and conjectures about the causes of an eating disorder so it is important that medical advice is taken since they are not just injurious to a person’s health but can be fatal.
Treatment can for eating disorders can be ongoing for months or years without a satisfactory outcome leaving family and sufferer in a very difficult place. However I have worked with very good results with a number of eating disorder clients and below is a case study of a recent client who came to me with bulimia.
(Names and some incidents are altered to protect client anonymity)
Ann, a young lady in her late twenties came to see me after having suffered from an unhealthy preoccupation with her eating habits since she was a young girl. She had always been on and off diets and had resorted to binge eating and then vomiting to control her weight. She was feeling helpless with the situation and although she held down a responsible job her self confidence and self belief was dipping lower and lower .
In our first session I took notes and information about how long this had been an issue and information about her past background and experiences although I always let my clients reveal whatever past issues they may have had in their own time. In fact they may not even remember some of this information consciously and if they do not wish to discuss certain things then that is fine and we can still work without that information.
Ann had the internal message that she had “always been big” and this to me is the sort of phrase that tells me a lot about where an issue is coming from. Our speech patterns and the phrases we use will give us plenty of clues about where to look and how to resolve the underlying issues once we are attuned to them.
In a situation such as this there are two important elements, one is releasing any past trauma physical or emotional around the issue and two, building a client’s confidence. One of the techniques I use is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which I think is a wonderful tool that can truly help clear past issues very rapidly and instil confidence sometimes with almost miraculous speed. And not only can we work with it in the sessions but the client can take the technique with them and use it on a n everyday basis themselves to help continue the work between sessions. This not only speeds up the process but involves the client in the process giving them control that they may well have felt unable to access previously.
After the first session Ann returned two weeks later to report that things had been much better and that the tools I had given her had really helped her take control whenever she had any of these urges to binge. However she had experienced a relapse for three days but using the techniques she had got herself back on track again. In this second session I started helping her develop her confidence and self belief and the next time we met she had not binged at all and said she felt normal and much more relaxed. We then scheduled another appointment although due to other commitments she could not come back for a month. At this stage I would have preferred to see her a little sooner but that was not possible. However I always let clients know that they can email or call me if they are experiencing any issues between sessions. This is important since I would rather they do not loose time getting stuck when they can continue building on the changes they are already making.
When Ann came back to see me four weeks later I could immediately see in her a much happier and grounded person than the one that had walked in just four sessions previously. She had applied for a new job so for our final session we discussed how she was feeling about things went over anything that needed any “tidying up” and then worked on simple but powerful ways she could take this new found confidence into the job interview and also continue to develop it in her everyday life.
Ann emailed me a month later to say that she had got the job and was feeling really good and much happier than before. This may seem a simple process and in many ways it was although every person I see has a different story and a different history. For me there is no set routine but rather an understanding that every one who walks into my office is an individual with their own personal needs and desires. Starting from that place I can use hypnosis, NLP, or EFT and my own unique techniques in a way that will offer individual opportunities for personal change whatever the issue.
If you would like to discuss further how I can help you, or someone close to you who has an eating disorder please call 07970218451 or email firstname.lastname@example.org and I will be happy to discuss any aspect of this or any other issue with you.
Do you feel that you are promoted beyond your capabilities and will soon be “found out”? Perhaps despite achieving top marks at University and securing a good position at work you are afraid that someone will expose you as a fraud! Perhaps you did not go to University and feel yourself lacking just because you don’t have that qualification even though you are very good at your job?
Imposter syndrome or Fraud syndrome is not a psychologically categorised issue but nevertheless affects many people even when they are performing well and achieving top promotions in their careers. However much positive evidence is available confirming their ability and competence there always remains a nagging doubt that they will soon be “discovered” for the fraud that they think they are. The mirror image of imposter syndrome is the Dunnuing-Kruger effect whereby incompetent people remain convinced of their own competence.
To anyone who feels comfortable and competent in their own field of expertise this can seem difficult to understand but for a sufferer even offhand comments and looks in the workplace can appear to be confirmation of one’s perceived inadequacies and lack of qualifications in an area where they most probably excel.
If you are suffering from Imposter Syndrome you may:
Of course friends and colleagues will most likely continue to say that this type of thinking is nonsense and try to help with encouraging words and advice. But however well meaning this may be unfortunately the “imposter” will find little solace in their words since they “know” for sure it is only a matter of time before they will get found out. Have you tried saying to yourself “Don’t think that” “Stop worrying about it” or “Forget it”? You might just as well say “Don’t think of a pink elephant”!This sort of self talk rarely works and especially so in this sort of case.
I have a phrase that I often ask clients to say to themselves whenever negative self talk is taking over the mind. Telling oneself to stop thinking this way rarely works since the message will be filtered through the frontal cortex of the rational logical mind which usually rejects it. However I have found that when we say the phrase “That thought is not available” it is a great way to divert the message past this part of the mind and straight to the unconscious creative mind. Because these words make no logical sense to our analytical thinking the phrase bypasses the conscious process.
Obviously there is work to be done in releasing past conditioning and blocks that prevent positive and realistic assessment of one’s talent. In my therapy practice I find a combination of hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to be powerful ways to help my clients release past blocks and issues in a rapid, comfortable and empowering way.
In the words of Marianne Williamson from her book “Return to Love” “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
To find out more about how Hypnotherapy, EFT, and NLP can massively help your confidence and self belief in this and other areas of your life just call 07970218451 or email email@example.com and I will be happy to help you.
1/ Love yourself
Most of us know how to love our family and friends, partners and children but have we ever thought about loving ourselves? On an aeroplane the rule in an emergency is for parents with children to first put their own oxygen mask on before they help their child. If the parent is unable to breathe how can they help their children? Loving ourselves in a healthy way is the oxygen that feeds us and helps us and every one around us flourish and grow. Unfortunately we may have been taught to think that “loving ourselves” is arrogant or big headed but far from it. To love and accept yourself can free you to truly be the person you want to be.“Brilliant – I feel really, really good. very positive, improving everything in my life and I’m so much happier” LP
“I love and accept myself” is one of my favourite EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) phrases and by developing that mindset I have seen amazing transformations amongst clients suffering from low self esteem and lack of confidence. Why not try it out for a day and see what happens? If that phrase is initially a step too far then start first with “I’m OK”, then, “I value and accept myself”, and then, when you feel you are ready, “I love and accept myself”. These are amazingly powerful and empowering phrases that will help you build up the vital inner value and belief in yourself that you deserve.
2/ Let go of limiting beliefs
If the mind is full of limiting beliefs these will block anyone from achieving their goals and aspirations. Limiting beliefs may have been part of one’s thinking that may have been connected to old messages unconsciously picked up in childhood or from unpleasant previous experiences in our formative years. Being able to let go of these inappropriate messages is paramount if you want to achieve the goals and desires in your life that you would like. I have found just saying this hypnotic phrase “That thought is not available” to yourself any time a negative belief or phrase pops into the mind is a very effective and powerfully simple way to clear unwanted and destructive self talk.
“I can’t believe so much has changed in my thinking in the last few weeks., and I feel in a different place again. I am so much more confident and positive. Thank you.” – DG
3/ Connect with who you really are
Having a confident air and belief about yourself will unlock many doors and opportunities. However there are times when we feel awkward and “on the back foot” and these are often times when something has unconsciously triggered us back to a younger self, a self without the knowledge and understandings that we have actually gained in our lifetime. Think about a job interview – as soon as we sit down on that chair our unconscious mind may be reminded of being at school! This unconscious triggering can be very confusing and can be a major factor in lack of confidence and self esteem. However it can be turned round once we are aware of what is happening. By just taking a moment to become aware of those awkward moments and bring to mind all positive experiences and understandings that you have gained, and will continue to gain throughout your life will help you to come out of the “trance” that you have been in and select a healthier one. If in your mind you can connect with that knowledge and experience (i.e. your grown up self) you will be able to literally “trigger” your thinking into a much more positive state.“Thanks for all your advice and showing me all the tools and techniques. I’m really glad I came to see you and grateful for everything. Hope to see you soon.” K
I am helping clients on a daily basis achieve wonderful improvements in their confidence and self esteem. Techniques such as Hypnosis, EFT and NLP are, in my experience, some of the most powerful building blocks for change. This is why I use them along with practical strategies and techniques that I have personally developed during my professional career as a therapist. These are strategies that can be used “in the moment” giving clients empowering tools that they can use on a practical level whatever situation they find themselves in.
If you would like to change your life and find out more about how I can help you just call me on 07970218451 and I will be happy to chat with you.
Over the years I have worked with many clients who have been bullied at school or in the workplace. Some are in their middle age or older and some not long out of University. Some may come to see me about that issue itself and others will find that as we go through a session their past history of being bullied is a large part of the blocks that have been keeping them from achieving their goals and feeling confident and positive about themselves.
Bullying can take various forms including school bullying, work bullying and cyber bullying. Much aggressive behaviours can also come under the category of bullying. Bullying can be social, verbal or physical and may involve threats, taunts, embarrassment and even unsavoury gestures.
The long term effects of being bullied can be devastating and lead to depression, loneliness, lack of confidence and self esteem and sometimes the risk of suicide.
The good thing is that normally it really does not take a great deal of time to shift the old emotional wounds around the experience of having been bullied that will have often blighted people’s lives for many years. Using the appropriate techniques skilfully really helps clients make a massive turn around in their confidence and self-esteem.
Sometimes with this sort of work clients may initially feel worried that they will have to re experience and go through all the details of past uncomfortable ordeals. This need not be the case and the tools I use are deigned to achieve a rapid and permanent resolution with no, or very little discomfort. Also it is not necessary to have a conscious memory of the events to be able to release them. The unconscious mind will protect us if the conscious mind finds it too much to handle however it is still possible to clear this information even though it may not be accessible to the conscious mind. Releasing the past experiences means that they will no longer have a hold over one’s life.
A good therapist can make a massive difference to a person’s life so taking your time to find someone you will feel comfortable working with is very important. My goal is not only to help clients through their trauma in the most comfortable way possible but to give them tools that they can take with them to continue building the life that they deserve with confidence and self belief.
Hypnosis, NLP and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) are valuable resources I use on a daily basis with my clients to help them achieve their goals and become the person that they want to be. I also incorporate simple but empowering strategies that I have developed over the years that give my clients the ability to adjust their feelings and experiences in the moment wherever they are and whatever they are doing. This is an amazingly empowering experience and can help anyone gain inner confidence and self belief.
If you would like to free yourself from the tyranny of past or present bullying do call me 07970218451 or email firstname.lastname@example.org and I will be happy to let you know how I can help.
Drug abuse is something that is never far away from the news but prescription drug addiction is an issue that is not so often discussed.
Abuse of prescribed drugs can take the form of taking pills prescribed for someone else, overuse of painkillers or tranquillisers, asking for repeat prescriptions before the last one has run out, a feeling of dependency on the drug and many other variations. Even over the counter drugs can be addictive and can have very serious side effects if taken out-with the recommended dosage.
The problem is learning how to come off prescription medication (which always should be done under medical supervision) and finding out why there appears to be a need to take this medication inappropriately.
I have successfully worked with clients in this area for many years and similarly when treating smoking, food issues and substance abuse, hypnotherapy has a very powerful and effective track record in helping people with all sorts of addictions. I use a combination of Hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP plus simple but effective techniques that my clients can take with them and use to continue at home thus continuing the work done in the therapy room. This helps regain that feeling of control that is much needed for addiction issues and speed up the process of recovery. Even pain can be alleviated with
hypnosis which may help reduce medication when medically appropriate.
If you or anyone you know has a problem getting off prescription (or over the counter) medication it is important to get help from your GP and also look for good professional therapeutic help to remove the cravings and deal with any issues that may have led up to the addiction.
For more information call 07970218451 or email email@example.com and I will be happy to help and answer any questions you may have.
Listening the other day to a woman talking about her experience of abuse when she was eleven years old, as she described how the events of the past still affected her everyday life she encapsulated in her phrases the many traumatising feelings that victims can carry with them for the rest of their lives.
“Frozen in shock” sums up how the body stores past trauma and until this can be unlocked there will always be a state of “Fight or Flight” operating throughout the nervous system.
“Carrying the secret” is a cross that victims of abuse may have to bear for the rest of their lives unless they can “lock it away in a mental compartment” to help them continue their lives with some form of internal safety. Otherwise it can be almost too much to bear.
“Fear of not being believed” when they were children alienates and “isolates” them from family and friends often along with “rejection from other family members.”
“Lack of Trust” becomes even more pervasive when the perpetrator was a family member.
“Depression” can then become a common illness with anyone who has been in this situation.
I have successfully worked with many clients who have been victims of abuse. Using hypnotherapy, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and NLP with knowledge and understanding can help achieve enormously important change.
I always work in a way that is symapathetic and mindful of my clients’ feelings and also in ways that can achieve the best results with the absolute minimum of distress. In fact it is often not even necessary to discuss or reveal any difficult detail at all to help clear past experiences. Having to go through the distressing details is probably one of the major worries that keeps many people from seeking help through therapy but for a skilled practitioner it is not necessary to do so to achieve powerful results. In my experience the old techniques of talking through the trauma in detail and almost reliving it are out of place and uneccesary.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with these issues I will be very happy to diiscuss how I help my clients achieve remarkable changes in their lives. Just email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07970218451 for a confidential chat.
I find it fascinating that although my clients book in for so many different issues, in many cases it often does not take long to discover that a large part of the problem comes down to confidence. Some people are very confident at work but not so out in the everyday world and others confident in social situations but not so at work. It may be authority figures, people who talk loudly or just everyone in general who seems to know more, have more to say, be better at things or just seem to have more confidence than we do.
Since we are all in situations every single day where we are communicating with other people, whether at work, socially or just in passing it can feel as if there is no let up to this problem. All these situations just seem to exacerbate those uncomfortable feelings and the emotional and social discomfort it breeds.
The big question is where does the problem come from and how can we fix the issue? Many issues are born in childhood and when we are young it can take only a word or a look for us to read into even a light hearted comment some slight that can still be stuck in our unconscious decades later. This is why it is so important to clear those old messages before we build our new programme of confidence in ourselves. It may seem like a huge task but I have found that with the right techniques one can help clear even those issues we don’t consciously know about in less than one session. Once that is clear then the way is open to move forward and build a new foundation of self belief and confidence. To help make these changes I use a mix of hypnosis, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), NLP and importantly some simple but very powerful techniques to help my clients make real changes to how they feel right there and then in any situation as it is happening.
Why is this is an area in which I am passionate about about helping people with? Two BIG reasons for me are a) I have experienced it myself and b) I have spent years researching and developing a series of strategies and techniques that will help my clients literally power up their own self belief and confidence in any situation.
Lack of confidence can be with us for years but with the best help and techniques you could, in just a matter of weeks if not days be gaining confidence in ways you previously never imagined. In fact one of my techniques will show you how you can literally “step into” the confident person you know you deserve to be. So if you feel it really is time to step into and be the person you know is really you, confidently and comfortably do give me a call (07970218451) or email email@example.com and I will be happy to discuss how I can help you.
What does the term alcohol abuse really mean? We all know the word alcoholic and we know that certain people drink too much but where does the term alcohol abuse fit in? If someone is suffering from alcohol abuse it means that they may not yet be physically dependant on alcohol but the alcohol is already beginning to have a negative impact on their lives. This negative impact can take the form of relationship and family problems related to drinking, issues at work, driving while under the influence and irresponsible behaviour patterns.
Left to follow it’s own path alcohol abuse can become a slippery path towards some very unpleasant experiences. Some may be able to sustain an outside appearance that everything is normal but this will be at great expense to family, relationships, job prospects and self worth.
However thinking about stopping is one thing and taking action is another. This is where it is very important to find a group and/or therapist to help give support advice and counselling in these situations. Some people get good results from meetings such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and for others therapy in some form will help them find the strength to get out of this destructive cycle.
A couple of books I can recommend are Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey and Addictive Thinking by Abraham J. Twerski. However a book cannot replace qualified help and support and the longer this issue is left to develop the greater the danger that personal, physical, financial and emotional damage will occur. Although we often hear the terms genetic and disease used with regards to alcohol issues at the end of the day taking responsibility for our own health and behaviour is the only thing that counts.
The techniques I offer my clients are designed to help take control of one’s life and thinking and develop the self esteem and confidence that everyone deserves to experience on an everyday basis. Hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique) are powerful and empowering tools that have given so many of my clients the opportunity to get their lives back on track If you feel it is time for you to make a real change in your life call me on 07970218451 or email firstname.lastname@example.org and I will be happy to discuss any aspect of this with you.
Anger can have many physical and mental consequences. Although anger is a primary and natural emotion that we all experience at times it is there for our survival and losing control of this emotion on a regular basis can have severe consequences.
Anger results in a loss of control of the mid brain and an increasing sensitivity to stress. As the stress continues it then becomes easier and easier to activate this part of the brain thereby leaving one less able to activate the prefrontal cortex, the rational, reasoning part of the brain. Anger over activates the sympathetic nervous system and we lose the ability to control the balance required with the parasympathetic nervous system. This floods the system with adrenalin and an inability to control one’s emotions. Spending one’s life with “a short fuse” and the “fight or flight” system turned up full is a recipe for some very unpleasant experiences emotionally, physically, professionally and in one’s relationships.
If you think you or someone close may have anger problems check this list and see if you recognise some of the symptoms.
Any one of the above can take a big toll on health, endanger one’s career and harm your relationships.
To help yourself:
I have successfully worked with many clients with anger issues. Hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) are ideal techniques to help bring the trigger responses down to a controlled and comfortable level. Both EFT and Hypnosis work by relaxing the sympathetic nervous system and engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. When the sympathetic and the parasympathetic (relaxation) systems are in balance then we can deal much more comfortably with our work, our relationships and with ourselves. When they are out of balance it becomes very hard to control our emotions and actions.
With the techniques I use, three or four sessions will often be all it takes to turn this around and begin the process of engaging with and enjoying life in a much healthier and relaxed way than before. If you would like more information please call me on 07970218451 or email email@example.com and I will be happy to help you. If you are unable to see me personally you can always book a session over Skype which can be an equally effective way to work.
EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique is an Energy Psychology technique that has it’s roots in Chinese medicine and acupuncture. In this technique the client will tap with their fingers on acupressure points at the same time as verbalising their issues.
Emotional Freedom Technique is a technique that anyone can use at home to help alleviate a wide range of emotional problems but when working on more serious issues such as depression it is wise to work with an expert and qualified practitioner.
Helping clients with depression is not a simple exercise in the therapy room but when one has a technique such as EFT available it is amazing how quickly it can release negative feelings and past traumas that could normally take months if not years to even partially resolve. This for me is why EFT is such a valuable tool to be able to use when helping clients suffering from depression. So often it is not necessary to go digging through traumatising experiences from the past and if there things that do need addressing then it is often the case that clearing one past experience will free the client from many of the remaining discomforts around their past with so much less intrusive and upsetting work that may be needed when using other therapies.
If you are not familiar with EFT the idea of tapping around various meridian points on the face can seem a little strange at first so I will often just “drop” it into the session and ask my client to instantly just tap on the points that I show them. In most cases they are surprised at the sudden relaxation they experience and when this happens the client will immediately know that something important is happening.
Another important factor with EFT is that it is a technique the client can take home with them and use whenever they feel confronted by any difficult feelings thereby giving them some control over their daily experiences.
If you have emotional issues such as depression which have resisted any previous attempts to free yourself from, then EFT is a very powerful technique that could help you get your life back on track.
As a hypnotherapist and EFT practitioner I specialise in helping people with issues that seem not to respond to other treatments. My many previous clients know that it is possible to make remarkable changes and I see EFT as one of the keys to helping achieve those changes.
For more information call or email me and I will be happy to help you. It could make all the difference.
Anyone who has experienced depression knows what a debilitating state it can be with seemingly uncontrollable feelings of sadness or anxiety, loss of interest in life and feeling hopeless and helpless.
There are many reasons people can suffer from depression. It could be bereavement, loss of something important in their lives or it may just appear out of the blue for no apparent reason at all.
When someone is feeling this way they probably know that they should be doing something about it but even that may be just one step too far for them to take. For some medication will help and for others even this may not get them to where they would like to be.
In talking therapy one of the primary aims is to help the patient share their feelings with someone outwith friends and family and hopefully over a period of time perhaps discover the cause of their feelings and help them to move on. Of course no amount of “just snap out of it” or “get a grip”, however well meaning is going to help and will probably make things worse. When someone is in that state of mind the inner resilience is just not there to light that spark of positive reconnection with life that the depressed person would so love to experience. However there are ways if one can summon up the mental energy to help oneself. Just a small step could help rekindle the neural activity in the brain that helps to switch on the states we desire and switch off those we don’t. This article by Dr Mercola http://bit.ly/16Isvnq has a range of possible ways to kick start the process and safely re engage in the pleasures of life that everyone else seems to be enjoying.
I work with a lot of clients with depression and in my experience an important factor, as the above article points out is finding methods to help turn the switch that can take us to a place in the mind where it is possible connect with the pleasures and quality experiences of life. Using Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and NLP with a qualified practitioner are powerful ways to safely release underlying issues and help move forward in life.
However just as important in my treatments are using simple tools that can be used on an everyday basis to help regenerate and bring back the pleasures, and positive experiences that are available to virtually everyone if we are ready to find them. I always tell my clients, “I don’t know what you will be thinking or experiencing at, for example, 5 o’clock this evening any more than I know what I will be experiencing but if you have the tools to deal with and in some small way adjust that experience to your advantage you yourself will have made a change and begun to learn that you can bring back some control in your life.”
(To ensure you are getting the safest treatments always seek medical advice first)
For more information please contact me and I will be happy to help.
There was an interesting documentary on BBC3 this week (09/07/13) about professional football and how even the top paid superstars can be at risk from depression. It was presented by former Premiership player Clarke Carlisle who has first hand experience of the emotional up and downs and highs and lows top sports people can experience. At one point he had attempted to take his own life and is now very much involved in helping maintain and improve the best support systems for professionals in any sport who are having difficulties in their lives with depression and dealing with the pressures that a high profile sporting career can bring.
The most important message to come out of this documentary was that depression is still something that many of us find hard to talk about and even harder to discuss with anyone if we have it. When Gary Speed the Wales National Football Team manager and celebrated footballer took his own life in 2011 not even the closest members of his family knew of his depression and state of mind.
Depression can be triggered by many things including loss and bereavement, anger or loss of a relationship, childhood experiences, drugs and other issues. For sports people and those in the public eye the pressure can be absolutely intense and belief in one’s own value, loneliness (even with so many people around) and isolation are just a few of the cocktail of doubts and insecurities that can begin to eat into an otherwise confident person’s internal thinking.
But neither do we do have to be a mega star to suffer from depression. It can hit anyone at any time in their life or career. If you think you or someone you know may be suffering from depressive symptoms a quick search on Google will find a lot of information from reputable sources to help find out more about it. Depression is an illness that can afflict anyone whatever their role in society but the message is always the same, don’t keep it to yourself and speak to someone you can trust. There is help out there and one phone call could make all the difference.
Roger Foxwell is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, EFT and NLP practitioner dealing in many areas including helping clients with depression get their lives back on track. For more information call 07970218451 email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.rogerfoxwell.co.uk
When I first meet a client I always want to know if they are on any medication or seeing a doctor for their presenting issue. This is especially important for more serious mental health issues and for any physical issues that may be related to how they feel. For certain problems long term medication may well be the best answer and as far as I am concerned that is to be left to my client and their doctor. But even then some form of talking therapy is likely to be of benefit in many cases alongside any drugs.
However in a lot of cases taking drugs long term is never going to solve the underlying issues of why a person has feelings or behaviour patterns that they would rather be without. I subscribe to regular newsletters from Dr Mercola in America and they always make very interesting and entertaining reading. This article from Dr Mercola talks about how he feels that there is an over medicating in America of people suffering from depression and also has a lot of questions concerning statistics and information we are given about certain medications. Since we are often never far behind America this article is well worth a read.
Although there seems still to be a prevalent view that depression is something that one perhaps just has to live with or at best may take years to overcome in my experience that is not always the case and I have first hand experience, as have many of my colleagues, of being able to help clients make significant changes in their emotional wellbeing in as little as just a few sessions.
Also as an update to the above this is a recent article on the BBC (health) website by Dr Joanna Moncrieff where she talks about how putting patients on medication for psychological issues can be just a case of putting them into a “drug induced state” without ever addressing the real issues behind the problem just as Dr Mercola’s article does.