To give you a taste of some of these simple exercises try pointing to your nose and saying “this is my nose.” Then do the same thing with your lips, your throat and your chest. Interestingly you will probably notice a change in voice tone that bears a resemblance to where you are pointing especially when you point at your nose. As you become more aware of this you can begin to develop the resonance and timbre in your voice that is required to command attention in any situation. The interesting thing I soon noticed once I started practising these techniques was that as my own voice developed in resonance the actual feedback I was getting inside my head from my voice helped add to my speaking confidence.

How rapidly we speak and how much variation in tone and pitch are also important for best results. Every positive change you make will add to your confidence whilst diminishing the anxiety and this will only help you achieve the results you are looking for. Like a lot of things in life once we know where to start and which techniques to use it really is possible to rapidly make positive and lasting changes. You really could be getting your message across clearly and confidently in just a few weeks.

We had one initial session a few weeks before she was due to fly and she immediately found that she really was not worrying about it anymore at all. However as the date got closer she began to experience some of the old feelings so thought she had better come and see me for a back up session.

It is interesting working with something such as flying since the conscious mind is often not quite sure whether any change has occurred. Until you experience stepping onto the plane you don’t know consciously if the therapy has worked. Although our conscious mind knows that our fear is irrational and unfounded it is interesting that when our unconscious allows us to let go of the fear the conscious often still needs proof and is still not always totally convinced. This is where we need to trust this creative part of ourselves and avoid too many internal questions as the positive change becomes a natural experience.

Hypnosis allows us to bypass our conscious questioning and that is exactly what we did in the session just a couple of days before her holiday. It also allows us to visualise a sequence of events in such a way that they become, in a sense, real. Visualising the flight and other important details whilst connecting it to feelings of relaxation and calm can, according to research, be as powerfully compelling as experiencing the real thing.

Oh yes, and here is the text she sent me when she got home:

“Hi Roger just bk my hol was absolutely fab i was gr8 on plane was a bit nervous at 1st then completely went away quite enjoyed it defo do it again i even fell asleep on the way back … thanks very much”

The initial “bit nervous at 1st” is an example of the conscious mind still not quite believing that it really can feel safe. However when the unconscious has been reprogrammed powerfully enough the conscious mind is then able to take a back seat and just relax.  Somewhere within us we really do know how to make these changes and by allowing that part to do what it needs to do and change what it needs to change  the new feelings will naturally become fully integrated into our actual live experience.

The main reservation I have with positive affirmations is that unless we can get the message past our conscious mind the unconscious mind is most likely to start putting blocks in our way frustrating any attempts to turn our thinking round. And where do these blocks come from? Our past programming – and until we can clear these deeper emotional barriers we will be likely fall at the first hurdle. Now going one level deeper unless we are ready to accept it, the affirmation will bring up our primal fears and programmes that will not only prevent us from achieving our goal but can actively sabotage it leaving us disappointed and frustrated. We need to be aware of the reasons that we want these changes to occur? Is the new job and the large house a hidden and desperate need for security? Does the latest car feed our need to feel better and more successful than the next person?  These can be very basic instincts and although I have no problems with a large house or a new car if we try to programme for them from the wrong instincts then we may be surprised and very disappointed when we do not get quite what we expect.

Now none of this means that we should avoid affirmations and have aspirations but it does mean that we need to be prepared to do some work at clearing issues that have prevented us from reaching these goals in the first place. Also, we have much more chance of success if we can connect our affirmation to what I call our creative unconscious mind.  This is where the true creation of our desires comes from and this is where in my opinion we need to process the affirmation to get the best results.

Because techniques such as hypnosis and EFT used therapeutically can connect us with deeper brainwave patterns they can be invaluable tools to help us release the past programmes that have been keeping us stuck. If you find your aspirations to lose weight, feel more confident or whatever you want to achieve continually thwarted it may be worthwhile exploring if, and what barriers could be holding you back.

My favorite part is “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Your playing small does not serve the world.”

I found myself instantly agreeing – not only because I’m not sold on the idea of taking a holiday flight to Spain with a control tower full of insecure air traffic controllers guiding my plane in to land but because, to make the most of our abilities and attributes we have to generate a certain amount of inner confidence and belief. If not we shortchange ourselves with the mistaken belief that confidence and self belief equals the sort of personality that is overbearing and arrogant.  This is a different issue and not to be confused with one’s own inner value of oneself. My aim in therapy sessions is to encourage all my clients to truly value and believe in themselves so that they can fully develop their true personality and abilities and feel comfortable in that place.

“If you should find yourself riding a dead horse, it is advisable to dismount”

How true is that!?

Having said this, they will still insist that there is nothing they would like more than to get better – but somehow they don’t seem to be able to do it. It can feel scary losing an issue that has become a part of one’s life however uncomfortable it may feel. Ask yourself why people stay in bad relationships or continually seem to fall for unsuitable partners that appear to have similar unpleasant characteristics? In my opinion that one of the reasons (there are other) is because one is familiar with the discomfort but the option of going out into a world that is uncharted territory feels infinitely more frightening. There can be a natural tendency to settle for a default position that helps avoid taking challenging decisions. Have a look at motivational speaker Zig Ziglar’s take on this phenomenon.

/www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRMogDrHnMQ

In my next blog I will be looking at the “flipside” as to why it can be hard to make changes when we really need them.