Roger Foxwell Hypnotherapy | Clinical Hypnotherapy – Emotional Freedom Technique – NLP – IBVA

Listening to the radio today I heard an air traffic controller being interviewed about her job and one of the questions was “when you were training did you ever feel you may not be good enough for such a demanding and responsible job?” The answer was a simple no. Not in any arrogant or big headed way but, as she pointed out, to do the job properly confidence is an important part of your mindset.

I found myself instantly agreeing – not only because I’m not sold on the idea of taking a holiday flight to Spain with a control tower full of insecure air traffic controllers guiding my plane in to land but because, to make the most of our abilities and attributes we have to generate a certain amount of inner confidence and belief. If not we shortchange ourselves with the mistaken belief that confidence and self belief equals the sort of personality that is overbearing and arrogant.  This is a different issue and not to be confused with one’s own inner value of oneself. My aim in therapy sessions is to encourage all my clients to truly value and believe in themselves so that they can fully develop their true personality and abilities and feel comfortable in that place.

Sometimes we find it hard to know when it is time to make a change but perhaps this quote from the Dakota Indians will help you.

“If you should find yourself riding a dead horse, it is advisable to dismount”

There are two sides to any argument. Then there’s the truth!

How true is that!?

“Not everyone wants to get over their problem” may seem a strange statement for a therapist to make but sometimes people are so “wedded” to their issues that they become such an important part of their life that they cannot let them go. What will they talk about or what will occupy their time if they somehow resolve their issue? They may worry that they may not feel important or that they will be left with an empty gap in their lives.

Having said this, they will still insist that there is nothing they would like more than to get better – but somehow they don’t seem to be able to do it. It can feel scary losing an issue that has become a part of one’s life however uncomfortable it may feel. Ask yourself why people stay in bad relationships or continually seem to fall for unsuitable partners that appear to have similar unpleasant characteristics? In my opinion that one of the reasons (there are other) is because one is familiar with the discomfort but the option of going out into a world that is uncharted territory feels infinitely more frightening. There can be a natural tendency to settle for a default position that helps avoid taking challenging decisions. Have a look at motivational speaker Zig Ziglar’s take on this phenomenon.

/www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRMogDrHnMQ

In my next blog I will be looking at the “flipside” as to why it can be hard to make changes when we really need them.

Here I am following on from my last post about getting help with one’s problems. Suffering from some states such as depression or anger can often leave one in denial about any need for help. Maybe everyone around can see that obviously their partner, friend or colleague needs to address certain issues and behaviours in their lives but the person acting these out is often unable to see that anything may be wrong. Eating disorders are classic cases of the person with the problem stubbornly refusing to respond to any idea of having treatment. This leaves the people around in an almost impossible situation because even if one can drag someone to therapy it is very difficult to get a satisfactory reponse unless the patient is ready to respond under their own volition. We often have to hit rock bottom or experience some uncomfortable lifestyle change before we are able to put into perspective where we really are and find the motivation needed to change.

I promised I would keep you updated on my new habit of a green smoothie a day. Well it has been a couple of months now and I can say that I am well and truly hooked. Not only that but my daughter and one of my sons are also converts! It is amazing how much fruit and veg you can pack into a green smoothie. If it was all laid out on a plate it would take quite a lot of “eating” to get through it yet in this form it becomes a very nutritious yet surprisingly tasty drink. You also get a good energy lift without any of the energy dip you often experience soon after eating sweet and processed foods.

Give it a go. I haven’t quite given up all the sweet foods yet but have found it easier to keep my weight steady and definitely am more selective about what and when I eat.

If you are reading my blogs you are possibly finding out a bit more about me and looking for more information about how I work. Well one important clue there is in these blogs is that they are all quite short. Why are they all quite short? Because these days we generally do not have time to wade through reams of information and would prefer what we are looking for to be crisp and to the point. That is how hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT works at its best.

This also equates to the way I work in the therapy room. I prefer to offer my clients information as succinctly, practically and as clearly as I can. Any “homework” will be powerful techniques that can make lasting and meaningful changes that can be done easily and quickly. These will also be techniques that one can use for a lifetime but techniques that used regularly can make amazingly empowering changes in one’s life. So KISS!

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood” is a phrase attributed to the co-founder of NLP Richard Bandler. This is a reference to how NLP techniques (and in this case especially Time Lines) can help improve the way we feel and interact with the world. Time Lines are a particularly powerful way of generating resources that we have within us or can develop from without to help us make empowering changes for the rest of our lives. Notice that I did not use the term future because if our head is always in the future we will never be able to live in the present. Conversely if our head is always in the past we also will not be able to live fully in the present.

Put simply we are all connected in our minds with thoughts and feelings about past and future that have a powerful bearing on how we feel in the present. If you imagine your past as a line connecting yourself to the present and the same with your goals and hopes for the future you would probably visualise this line behind you for the past and in front of you for the future. This is what in NLP we call a Time Line.

The interesting thing about time and memory is that it is not set in stone and time can change memories as much as two people can have different memories about the same event. The beauty of being able to use this technique is that it gives us the opportunity to make adjustments and empowering changes to how past experiences affect our present and future. So “it’s never too late to have a happy childhood” doe not mean that we can change history but it does mean that it is within our power to use our present knowledge and understanding to alter and adjust the way past experiences affect our present and future.

Do you ever watch Supernanny? I find it a fascinating example of family dynamics at work. Something Jo Frost(Supernanny) said was how a couple came to realise that their children would not be able to change their behaviour until they changed their own behaviour. This is so true. Most of the time we are expecting others to change around us to satisfy our own demands when really we need to change within ourselves.
It can come as a surprise to discover how quickly people seem to suddenly change around us when we make our own changes. We are all responsible for our own behaviour and nothing can change until we take on that responsility.
Just try it for a week -no demands, no recriminations. It may be hard at first but it can give us a marvelous opportunity to learn a lot about ourselves.

The propensity for people to give advice is equalled only by the propensity for people to ignore it.