Happiness
Monday, November 27th, 2006To find out more about happiness try this site.
To find out more about happiness try this site.
The Wolves Inside You
An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He
said to them, “A fight is going on inside me.. it is a terrible fight and it is
between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
pride, superiority, and ego.
The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth,
compassion, and faith.”
“This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other
person, too”, he added.
The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child
asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied… “The one you feed.”
In my last post I was writing about Creating an Opportunity every day. This does not need to be just in the business sense.
How would life be if we created an opportunity every day for postive effect in our family life and our relationships? Think of the transformations that would be possible and the improvements we could make in our everyday lives by just doing one extra thing that could help our family life or one small change in our behaviour or actions that would help us enjoy even more our relationships and friends.
It doesn’t need to be anything big. We are often so busy getting on with the business of everyday living that we put off until tommorrow addressing these areas. But just one opportunity created each day adds up to 365 in a year. That is a lot of change.
Each time I get an initial enquiry for weight loss or to stop smoking one of the things I will be ascertaining is whether it is themselves or their partner or family that wants them to make the change.
There are two reasons why this is important. The first is that the chances of a successful outcome are reduced if we are attempting to change for someone else’s benefit and if so we will soon find ourselves falling back into our old patterns of behaviour.
The second and most important is that to make a change it must be made because we want to do so. Granted, it will be great to experience all the positive spin-offs that may well occur but the most important change has to come from within ourselves. This change is a belief in our own value as a person and our own right to make an improvement in our lives. Without that belief we have no firm ground on which to initiate change and let it become part of our way of life.
The point here is that to be the person we want to be – to be able to help or be there for those that are important to us we need to value and believe in ourselves first. On a plane we are told in case of emergency to put on our own oxygen mask before our child. It makes perfect sense. Only by helping ourselves will we be able to help anyone else.
The more empowered we allow ourselves to become the more strength we have to be there for others.
Thankyou the recent visitor to “life thoughts” who liked my August 24 06 post and sent me this which I would like to share with you.
A healthy vital society is not one in which we all agree. It is one in which those who disagree can do so with honor and respect for other people’s opinions and an appreciation of our shared humanity.
Have you ever put off starting to learn something new because of a feeling that the task is just too big? Or do you feel that because professional or skilled people seem to be able to do it so easily that you would not know where to start?
It is easy to avoid taking on a new task because of a feeling that it is too complex, that we could never reach a particular level of skill, or that we are just not talented.
However you are already engaged in a complex task right at this moment. Yes, you are reading this blog. You may or may not remember those early days at school when you tentatively began learning the letters of the alphabet and the sounds that they made and how you began to put those strange shapes and squiggles into meaningful sentences. Now you are a reading expert and there is a very simple formula that got you to the level of ability you have now. The formula for learning goes like this.
Unconscious incompetence
Conscious incompetence
Conscious competence
Unconscious competence
If I likened the first to sitting in a car with no idea how to start it or what each pedal was for and the last to driving along without having to think which gear was where or how far to turn the wheel (in other words the level of automatic ability that most regular drivers achieve) I think you can work out the steps in between. And if you can work out the steps in between then you can start to believe in your abilities to learn new skills and achievements by just starting where we all start – at the beginning.
If you have a speech or presentation to make here are a couple of tips to help you put what you want to say in a more authoritative and positive way.
First of all you can probably speak slower than you imagine. Remember you know what you are saying but your audience needs to process the information because they are hearing it for the first time. Leave space between each sentence to let what you say sink in otherwise they will be mentally trying to play “catch up” and may lose your point or the punch line to your joke.
Another simple tip is to allow your voice to lower slightly in pitch at the end of each sentence (unless it is a question). This will give you an air of authority and help you sound confident.
Also pitch your voice lower than you would normally. This also gives an air of authority to what you are saying.
When you have started to put these points into your speech then practise it. Practise it out loud, on your own, to your friends and to your relations.
Using tips such as these will help you put across what you want to say the way you want to say it.
NLP (neuro linguistic programming) is a psychological science and method of reprogramming our thoughts and feelings that many therapists such as myself use in their practice on a regular basis. For those of you not familiar with NLP one of the techniques is called reframing which on a very basic level is looking at an event in a different light and taking a positive view out of it instead of a negative one.
Well here is a true story that could be called reframing by default.
In 1937 a young man joined the 6th Battallion of the Royal Welsh Fusiliers but in 1941 he took and failed a medical on the grounds of having epilepsy.
In 1941 medical opinion took a rather different view of this condition and asked him what he would do now that he had an “abnormality” and would have to give up his post in the army.
The doctor’s advice was that with an “abnormality” such as this it was advisable for the young man to avoid using his brain! But fortunately he didn’t leave it at that and suggested that to help him avoid using his brain was he take up art. (The logic of that is certainly lost on me!)
So the young man took the advice and enrolled at the Slade School of Art.
Kyffin Williams died at the beginning of this month aged 88 – one of Wales most popular painters.
This came to me via my National Council for Hypnotherapy journal a few years ago and I recently saw it doing the rounds on an internet site so if you haven’t read it already it should bring a you smile.
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry midterm. The answer was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic. Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
” First, we need to know how the mass of hell is changing with time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets into hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of volume in hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the volume of hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1) If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2) Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year-”…that it will be a cold day in hell before I sleep with you.”- and take into account that I have still not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true; and thus I am sure that hell is exothermic and will not freeze.”
This student received the only ‘A’ given.
Andy Murray’s (ex) coach Brad Gilbert is reported as quoting “whatever life offers you, never be late for it.”
It is always worth asking ourselves what we are putting off or what opportunities might be available that we haven’t even noticed. Does this or any other saying, quote, adage, axiom, truism, motto or proverb say anything to you? Since I just got those synonyms from a thesauras website I think the message came for me to extend my vocabulary!
“Sometimes we look for one thing and find another” Cervantes
And now it’s happening all over again!
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