“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
Chinese Proverb
Do you often use phrases such as “it’s only me” or “I’m just calling about”? These words “only” and “just” may just(!) be holding you back. Think about the context you use them in. How does it affect our self esteem when we slip this sort of message into into our everday communication? “Only me” does not rate you very highly in the importance ratings. You may not wish to be important a such but these small words can give you a clue as to how much you value your place in the world. If you are “just calling about” depending on the context, the person you are talking to will already be making unconscious decisions about how important whatever you are about to say really is. If you went to a surgeon and asked if he or she could perform a particular operation and their answer was “hopefully” or “I’ll try” I think you would soon be looking for a second opinion. By just using the one word “yes”, for instance, you can immediately send out a different message.
Be careful that the things you say do not give away your power. It’s not what you say but how you say it.
Tip: How long does it take for a chicken to hatch from an egg? Twenty one days.If you are making a change such as stopping smoking give yourself 21 days to make that change stick. If you start by just thinking you will “give it a go” your mind will have no way it can relate your progress to what you want to achieve. By giving yourself 21 days you have already set that goal up in your subconscious and that also gives you time to lose any cravings and toxins that may be in the body. Of course you can use hypnosis but either way you will need to programme your mind to “see” your desired result waiting for you in the future.
Have you got something you would like to change in your life? Is there anything that is getting in the way of your everyday living? Even setting the goal that you will actually address the situation in 21 days will help to get that ball rolling.
There is a Zen saying, “The study of Zen is not Zen”. Just as reading books on exercise will never get us fit so neither will reading books on diet ever make us lose weight. That is, not unless we act on them. Now as I mention on my web site, almost any diet can help us lose weight but it isn’t the diet it’s our intention that really makes the difference. So this is a bit of a follow-on from my last blog. Thinking about doing something and studying something is only the first step. The important step is taking action.
When we need to make a change we can often find ourselves knowing that we want to make it but somehow not quite getting round to it. Why is this? It seems pretty logical that if we want to stop smoking, gain more confidence or rid ourselves of a phobia (and we have various avenues open that will help us achieve our aim) why waste any more time?
I have a list of potential clients who regularly tell me that they must come and see me yet have not made it yet. Part of the underlying reason for this is that for us to make a change we will have to give something up. It may be as simple as the camaraderie of a few work colleagues as we brave the wind and rain puffing our mid-morning cigarette outside the office. But what about a phobia that has plagued us all our life you might ask? Surely we don’t want to live with that a moment longer than we have to?
Surprisingly we may unwilling to let go of other spin offs that our problem creates. For instance an addiction to work may help us ignore problems at home. A phobia of travel may help us stay at home, be looked after and feel safe.
However like the story of the king in the cave who interpreted the outside world using the shadows from the fire reflected on the cave wall we will not be able to fully engage with the world until we are rid of whatever it is that is blighting our life.
Until we make that change we also are partly living in a world that is just a reflection of our true potential.
DISCLAIMER
This site is intended for tips, advice and information only. Always seek professional medical advice before starting any excercise or weight loss program or diet change.