Assumptions
Can you read someone’s mind? It would be nice to think we can but most of the time we are making assumptions about what people are thinking. If we take it a step further the fact that we cannot read someone’s mind is a bit of a relief because hopefully they can’t read ours either!
However we often decide that we know what is going on in someone’s mind without asking. In other words we assume we know what they are thinking. But how many times have we made an assumption about someone’s behaviour only to find that we got it completely wrong? For instance a colleague may walk by totally ignoring you. We can jump to a conclusion (or maybe two or three!) but none of them may be correct and we may well be doing that person a great disservice and causing ourselves a lot of angst unless we ask.
It can be hard to ask these sort of questions but the secret in making it work is to ask the right questions in as tactful a manner as possible. Always be neutral and non-judgemental. You may not get the answer you want but at least you will have an answer.