Roger Foxwell Hypnotherapy | Clinical Hypnotherapy – Emotional Freedom Technique – NLP – IBVA

Listening to the radio today I heard an air traffic controller being interviewed about her job and one of the questions was “when you were training did you ever feel you may not be good enough for such a demanding and responsible job?” The answer was a simple no. Not in any arrogant or big headed way but, as she pointed out, to do the job properly confidence is an important part of your mindset.

I found myself instantly agreeing – not only because I’m not sold on the idea of taking a holiday flight to Spain with a control tower full of insecure air traffic controllers guiding my plane in to land but because, to make the most of our abilities and attributes we have to generate a certain amount of inner confidence and belief. If not we shortchange ourselves with the mistaken belief that confidence and self belief equals the sort of personality that is overbearing and arrogant.  This is a different issue and not to be confused with one’s own inner value of oneself. My aim in therapy sessions is to encourage all my clients to truly value and believe in themselves so that they can fully develop their true personality and abilities and feel comfortable in that place.

How easy is it to fall into the “I’ll be happy when” trap? Will it be that new car, or new relationship? Maybe a new job or a new house? All these things can be very exciting and pleasurable but how long does the happiness last? Maybe soon we will be needing something else new and novel to keep that “happiness” going. Now there is nothing wrong with enjoying any of these things and more but are they real happiness experiences and aren’t we just putting off our happiness until later if we have to wait until our next achievement or shopping trip?

This “I’ll be happy when” trap also applies to our own inner work. We may be having a difficult time with various issues and feel that once we have resolved them or made them go away everything will be plain sailing. But that is not necessarily the case because all the other issues that surround just engaging in life are still going to be there. So realistically, yes, life is most likely to be a lot easier when we are not in a constant state of anxiety or depression but everyday life does not go away and we will experience the ups and we will experience the downs. The important thing is how we connect, cope and engage with the natural cycle of our everyday lives in a meaningful and positive way. So why not try this mantra -  “I’ll be happy now.”

Simple meditation techniques done on a regular basis are a very valuable way to allow one to disengage from our inner treadmill and reconnect with ourselves. Try the link below for a wonderful selection of interesting guided meditations.

http://www.fragrantheart.com/

Sometimes we find it hard to know when it is time to make a change but perhaps this quote from the Dakota Indians will help you.

“If you should find yourself riding a dead horse, it is advisable to dismount”

There are two sides to any argument. Then there’s the truth!

How true is that!?

“Not everyone wants to get over their problem” may seem a strange statement for a therapist to make but sometimes people are so “wedded” to their issues that they become such an important part of their life that they cannot let them go. What will they talk about or what will occupy their time if they somehow resolve their issue? They may worry that they may not feel important or that they will be left with an empty gap in their lives.

Having said this, they will still insist that there is nothing they would like more than to get better – but somehow they don’t seem to be able to do it. It can feel scary losing an issue that has become a part of one’s life however uncomfortable it may feel. Ask yourself why people stay in bad relationships or continually seem to fall for unsuitable partners that appear to have similar unpleasant characteristics? In my opinion that one of the reasons (there are other) is because one is familiar with the discomfort but the option of going out into a world that is uncharted territory feels infinitely more frightening. There can be a natural tendency to settle for a default position that helps avoid taking challenging decisions. Have a look at motivational speaker Zig Ziglar’s take on this phenomenon.

/www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRMogDrHnMQ

In my next blog I will be looking at the “flipside” as to why it can be hard to make changes when we really need them.

Here I am following on from my last post about getting help with one’s problems. Suffering from some states such as depression or anger can often leave one in denial about any need for help. Maybe everyone around can see that obviously their partner, friend or colleague needs to address certain issues and behaviours in their lives but the person acting these out is often unable to see that anything may be wrong. Eating disorders are classic cases of the person with the problem stubbornly refusing to respond to any idea of having treatment. This leaves the people around in an almost impossible situation because even if one can drag someone to therapy it is very difficult to get a satisfactory reponse unless the patient is ready to respond under their own volition. We often have to hit rock bottom or experience some uncomfortable lifestyle change before we are able to put into perspective where we really are and find the motivation needed to change.

To read my article on OCD you can use this link. Thanks.

http://www.gotosee.co.uk/healtharticles/2010/01/treating-ocd-hypnotherapy-eft-glasgow/

I promised I would keep you updated on my new habit of a green smoothie a day. Well it has been a couple of months now and I can say that I am well and truly hooked. Not only that but my daughter and one of my sons are also converts! It is amazing how much fruit and veg you can pack into a green smoothie. If it was all laid out on a plate it would take quite a lot of “eating” to get through it yet in this form it becomes a very nutritious yet surprisingly tasty drink. You also get a good energy lift without any of the energy dip you often experience soon after eating sweet and processed foods.

Give it a go. I haven’t quite given up all the sweet foods yet but have found it easier to keep my weight steady and definitely am more selective about what and when I eat.

I have been seeing more and more clients for weight loss in the past few months and in many cases I get good results in one or two sessions. If one is eating too many calories through old messages such as “clean your plate” or “there are starving people out there” it is usually fairly simple to change these types of patterns in our thinking.

However, as I mention on my website, eating disorders, whether bingeing, overeating, or anorexic behaviours generally have little to do with food and all to do with a desperate need to numb one’s emotions. The frightening emotions that are buried in the psyche may be just too painful to bring to consciousness so there needs to be some way of avoiding having to think about them. A part of you will then look for a behaviour that helps keep these feelings at bay. Clients can often feel worried that hypnosis will “make” them open up with all sorts of information that they are either not aware of or would rather keep to themselves. But our unconscious mind is there to protect us and is programmed to keep this sort of information safely where it is until we are mentally and emotionally ready to deal with it. What is more, an experienced therapist will only move at the rate a client feels safe and comfortable with.

Letting go of these unresolved feelings is so often key to reprogramming our relationship with food but there are many techniques at the therapist’s disposal that will allow this to be done in a safe and comfortable way, allowing the client to move at their own speed and within their own comfort zone.

If you find yourself forever “yoyo” dieting, repeating the same destructive patterns or eating to make yourself “feel better” then finding out how you can really resolve the issues behind the actions will most likely be the key to turning your life around.

When I first meet a client I always want to know if they are on any medication or seeing a doctor for their presenting issue. This is especially important for more serious mental health issues and for any physical issues that may be related to how they feel. For certain problems long term medication may well be the best answer and as far as I am concerned that is to be left to my client and their doctor. But even then some form of talking therapy is likely to be of benefit in many cases alongside any drugs.

However in a lot of cases taking drugs long term is never going to solve the underlying issues of why a person has feelings or behaviour patterns that they would rather be without. I subscribe to regular newsletters from Dr Mercola in America and they always make very interesting and entertaining reading. This article  from Dr Mercola talks about how he feels that there is an over medicating in America of people suffering from depression and is well worth a read. Although there seems still to be a prevalent view that depression is something that one perhaps just has to live with or at best may take years to overcome in my experience that is not always the case and I have first hand experience, as have many of my colleagues, of being able to help clients make significant changes in their emotional wellbeing in as little as just a few sessions.

As an update to the above this is a recent article on the BBC (health) website  by Dr Joanna Moncrieff where she talks about how putting patients on medication for pschological issues can be just a case of putting them into a “drug induced state” without ever addressing the real issues behind the problem.