Reading one of Katy Bowman’s Nutritious Movement blogs she said “Vision is a whole body issue” and I would entirely agree with her. (In fact if you haven’t read any of her books I would encourage you to do so. Alignment Matters is where I started and I think I have bought one for pretty much everyone in my family now!)
And now I am adding to her sentence “and a mind issue”.
For a while I have been using the eyes and eye movements as part of my modalities for change in coaching and therapy sessions. I have some training in EMDR (Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) which specifically uses certain eye movements to help release and reprocess traumatic memories and emotions that are locked in the brain. It can be especially valuable in helping clients suffering from PTSD.
However I also have various other strategies I use that I find very simple that help take the sting out of residual painful emotions. These strategies have been developed through my interest in how we use our eyes and our ability to see and the links to the body’s nervous system.
I wonder how many of us have thought much about the many connections to the body and mind that are continually happening beyond your everyday awareness? Once we can harness simple understandings and make conscious and unconscious adjustments in this area it can make a noticeable positive difference to awareness and experience of the world on a daily basis.
The beauty of this, is that it is something we can become aware of and make a difference to virtually all day without even trying. After all we will spend all day (hopefully) with our eyes open so a simple change of awareness in how we and where we look is going to take virtually no extra time at all however busy we are.
It is interesting how the eyes and our looking pop up into everyday conversation all the time. Take these phrases
“Things are looking up”
“He can’t see the wood for the trees”
“It’s not looking good”
“I can’t seem to focus on the issue”
You “Get the picture.” Feel free to add a few of your own.
They are all unconscious references to what we are seeing. “How are things today?” “Things are looking up” We may see it as a pleasant enough reply to the question but where we do we look when things are not going well? We look Down.
So there is a continuous loop of unconscious positive or negative information just being generated from where and how we are looking and using our eyes. It is a fact that relaxing and widening our peripheral vision will immediately help engage the parasympathetic nervous system, the part that helps us relax and ideally balances with the sympathetic nervous system which engages our body into stimulus responses.
So “What are we all looking for?” We may be looking for a good time, some relief, some relaxation, some pleasure or just some peace and quiet. Perhaps we need to look no farther than in front of our own nose?
The dictionary definition of a bully is “A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker”
Any sort of bullying is pretty despicable and there has recently been a lot of media talk about bullying in the workplace.
First of all it is important that anyone who thinks they may be being bullied carefully organises their strategies by logging incidents, getting help from their union and keeping as best one can everything on a professional level.
Bullying at work can include sexual harassment, spreading rumours, undermining someone’s work and can be perpetrated face to face, by email, letter or phone. This constant undermining of someone’s personality and competence is likely to have a severely detrimental effect on the victim’s self esteem and ability to carry out their work efficiently.
However bullies are generally pretty weak and cowardly individuals and will soon back off when they are shown that we are not prepared to put up with this type of intimidation.
So how does one turn this around and wipe that seemingly indelible word “victim” from our forehead that seems to unconsciously attract this unpleasant sort of person?
One way of looking at it is that the bully is acting from their child self and therefore it is easy for them to spot someone else who may also be acting from their child self. So the bully is behaving as if they were perhaps 14 years old and they have spotted a victim who is unconsciously coming from perhaps their 8 year old self.
Now we all can unconsciously at times interact from our younger selves and someone who lacks confidence may really feel stuck in that past time frame without even being aware of it. Unfortunately bullies have an innate ability to spot this, also without consciously knowing it so will home in on their prey knowing that they are unlikely to get any trouble back from someone who is lacking in confidence.
So the point here is the importance of not only taking your issue through the appropriate channels but also to find techniques and strategies that build up confidence and self esteem in a healthy and empowering manner. We all have our younger parts of us that have helped us develop into the person we have become but your 8 year old doesn’t want to be dealing with awkward people with misplaced egos in the office. Our 8 year old just wants to play. It is our full grown up self that has the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to handle the sort of situations grown ups handle.
So learning and developing strategies that will help us feel comfortable and empowered in our full grown up self will help us deal with these situations in a much more grown up and effective way. Once the bully unconsciously recognises there is a change of dynamics and energy nine times out of ten they will soon back away. The most important thing is that you will become your full authentic self and confidently take on that knowledge, wisdom and experience that is yours. I have seen a complete change in body language and energy within just ten minutes when a client literally steps into that full self that is theirs to take with them.
If you have been suffering from any sort of bullying and would like to discuss any of the points in this post just call or email me and I will be happy to help.